A/N PLEASE READ! WARNING M RATING! Whether you know the band Korn or not is irrelevant, this isn't gonna be warm and fuzzy. Please continue to read A/N as it will hopefully help you become somewhat in the right mindset to read this with any level of acceptance. Haha!
Soooo this is a crazy dark little drabble direct to you from my warped mind. Haha! In other words some might consider this to be...twisted.
The lyrics mention rape, it's metaphorical. This is one of those 'take it for what it is' it will 'speak differently to everyone' kinda drabble.
FYI. This is definitely not how I generally think...or like to think about Heero just for the record.
However, once upon a time I was an angry teen and listened to the corresponding music... specifically in this case Korn. I was listening to the lyrics of this song the other day and a lightbulb went off...it just clicked.
I recently read another fanfic that kinda ripped my heart out and well... it sent me down a dark path. Haha! Honestly, I attribute this fic to that because it forced me to acknowledge that other side, the dark side of Heero Yuy...a side a lot of 1xR fans (myself included) like to conveniently forget about. However, he definitely was or at the very least had the potential to be or think this way at one point in time. As for Relena, I know she could have harbored some father figure issues. We all know that can make people do wild things. Haha! I could see this happening with these two in AU. Frustration leads to ALL kinds of activities. ;-)
So, instead of acting on emotions, what if Heero acted on pure instinct? And what if Relena did the same?
Trash lyrics by Korn I own nothing, all rights reserved.
Didn't use the entire song only parts.
Lyrics are in bold
A boy born of strife, orphaned and raised for battle while waiting for death...human debris.
A princess left for dead amongst the ruins of her family's former glory, raised to bring peace...human hope.
It is said that opposites attract.
Looks can be deceiving...in his case, no truer words have ever been uttered.
Rage seethed like lava from a volcano, yet no outward evidence was visible.
Livid is an accurate descriptor. He's never had to deal with this...what is this feeling?
Genetically enhanced to be the Perfect Soldier
Born to bring war and receive death.
Emotionally suffocated
Plagued with war torn nightmares ripped straight from his blood soaked reality
A girl saw his face.
A girl that became a new mission...kill.
All that it would take is pulling the trigger...so simple...yet why can't he do it?
A crack in the perfect soldier's armor?
Why!?
The question becomes the mantra of his impending insanity.
Misunderstandings can lead to rage and rage can lead to desperation...a desperation for ANY solution to make it stop.
How did it start?
A beach... her eyes...a mission compromised...
I just feel the craving.
New mission...
I see the flesh and it smells fresh.
I'll kill you...
And it's just there for the taking.
Mission not complete...
The pain that I'm just erasing.
I will kill this feeling...
I tell my lies and I despise
Every second I'm with you.
Instinct overrides...
So I run away and you still stay.
So what the fuck is with you?
Set aflame by the look in his eyes, forcing forward her unknown desires that refused to be ignored.
Your feelings I can't help but rape them.
I'm sorry I don't feel the same.
My heart inside is constantly hating.
I'm sorry I just throw you away.
Kill the emotions...
I don't know why I'm so fucking cold?
I don't know why it hurts me.
All I want to do is get with you.
And make the pain go away.
Quench the desire...
Why do I have a conscience?
All it does is fuck with me.
Why do I have this torment?
All I want to do is fuck it away.
A moment of violent satisfaction,
a stolen occasion of sheer raw instinctual need...killed the pain.
If you didn't get a chance to read my A/N at the beginning, it should answer any wtf questions. Haha!
I don't know if anyone else will get this, feel this or see this the way I do. I hope someone does. Haha! I personally see a lot of connection between these lyrics and 1xR.
Thanks for taking this trip down this dark path with me.
Lyrics from Trash by Korn
Songwriters: Brian Welch / David Randall Silveria / James Christian Shaffer / Jonathan Howsman Davis / Reginald Arvizu
I own nothing, I make no money off anything.