This is a tribute to the lives lost on Sept. 11, 2001, may god bless the USA.

The JAG Teams thoughts on Sept. 11, 2001

Authors: marinegirl2002 and jaglifeline

Sept. 11, 2001

Clayton Webb had just arrived at the pentagon, he had a meeting with the SECDEF at 0700, it was 0645. He walked down the halls to the SECDEF's office. About an hour into the meeting, someone came in and turned on the television. He saw a plane hit the North Tower of the World Trade Center. No one in the room spoke. They could only watch as another plane hit the South Tower, "Oh My God...A plane has just hit the North Tower and as you can see, Oh God...." The news anchor was at a loss for words, Clay could just stare at the screen horrified. Oh God, Mandy's supposed to come back today. Clay thought and immediately excused himself and went to go call her cell phone.

Mandy had pulled over onto the side of the road and was listening to the radio in shock and horror. All she could think about was getting to her family, her friends, making sure they were all okay. She had missed her connection for her flight to Washington and had been stuck driving a rental car. Only now was she truly grateful. She picked up her phone, but couldn't bring herself to talk.

"Mandy?" Clay asked frantically.

"Clay," she said, her voice shaking. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the Pentagon, I have a briefing here but apparently I don't think that's gonna happen." Clay said, his voice shaky.

"Go home, Clay. Please."

"I can't right now." Clay said, knowing she was worried and he was equally worried about her.

"Please. I'm on my way there now. Do you know about Dad? Harm?"

"No, I haven't heard from them." Clay said.

"Just go home."

"I'll see. I have to go baby. I'll call you later." Clay said.

"I love you."

"God....I love you too Mandy." Clay said, then hung up and went back to the SECDEF's office.

She continued driving, getting a busy signal from the JAG office. Then she heard it...a plane had hit the Pentagon. She had to get back off the road as she cried and shook like a child. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't. She couldn't reach for the phone, she just broke down, heartbroken. 'Please, Clay. Please have gone home.'

Clay was in the SECDEF's office and heard a loud crash and the whole building shook. Then there was screaming and moaning, as he ran to get out. Then everything went black.

Mandy didn't know how she'd gotten there but she found herself looking at the Pentagon. She saw Clay's convertible and, making a low almost animal-like sound, stood there, watching helplessly.

Clay couldn't see anything but he heard the building creak and moan, he tried to get up but couldn't. So he lay there, he tried calling out but his voice was barely above a whisper. He reached for his cell phone, trying to get it through the pain in his arms and legs, he felt something on top of him. He figured it was a metal beam, but he couldn't do anything to get out from under it. His vision was blurry. He got the cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Mandy's number. Then, he saw the face plate was broken, and there was nothing he could do but wait.

She heard him calling for her and, helping everyone she could, made her way towards the building. "I'm sorry, miss...."

"My boyfriend's in there."

"I'm sorry, miss. I can't let you go in there."

Harm dialed Mandy's cell phone after hearing about the attacks.

She picked up the phone. "Yeah?"

"Mandy, it's Harm, are you all right?"

"Sorta. What about Dad?"

"Mandy he's fine, what do you mean your stora fine?" Harm asked.

"Clay's in the Pentagon."

"Oh God." Harm said and the entire bullpen fell silent.

"I'm gonna stay here until...until I know. What about Mac and Bud? Everyone's okay?"

"Mac hasn't come home yet, Bud's fine." Harm's thoughts went to Mac, she was supposed to be on a plane coming back to Washington. 'Please don't let her have been in one of those planes.' Harm thought.

"What do you mean? Where is she?" She was thinking the same thing as Harm. "I thought Dad was gonna try to get her back after the attack on the consulate."

"She should be on a plane coming back to Washington right now." Harm said.

"Oh, dear God."

Harm just stood there the entire bullpen hanging on every word.

"Harm, I'm gonna be right over as soon as I know Clay's fine, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Harm said.

"Tell Dad..."

"Yeah." Harm said.

Tears in her eyes, she hung up and watched for Clay to come. Harm hung up and went into the admiral's office and knocked on the door.

The admiral looked up. "I thought I told everyone to go home."

"Mandy called." Harm said.

"Where is she?" He looked old, tired, with red eyes, worrying about his daughter and Mac.

"She's at the Pentagon sir, Webb is there, inside the building." Harm said.

"Dear God." He rubbed his forehead. "And Mac? Any word?"

"No sir." Harm said, looking down.

He wished he could comfort Harm, wished he had gotten her home earlier.

"Is Chris alright sir?" Knowing he was worried about her as well.

"She's at the hospital. Not much call for OB-GYN, but she's trained in the ER too."

"That's good." Harm said.

A.J. nodded numbly.

"I'm going to wait here until Mac call's if that's alright sir." Harm said, worried about Mac.

The admiral nodded. Harm walked to his office and shut the door, locking it and knowing there wasn't anything he could do but wait.

Mandy kept her eyes on the Pentagon, wanting to fight everyone off and go find Clay, go hold him and never let him go.

Clay was still stuck under the metal beam, not being able to get out. Hearing screaming and things falling. He wished he would've gone home like Mandy told him too. He felt so helpless, he had stayed hoping there would be something for him to do, but he tired to get out when it was too late and now he was stuck. His eyelids were heavy and he shut them, drifting into an unconscious state.

Baby, please stay awake. Please. Please, don't leave me. Mandy started crying again.

Clay was in a field with flowers and Mandy was standing in front of him in a beautiful blue dress, smiling at him. He started to walk towards her but he couldn't move, then she started crying. He reached out to her but she moved further and further away from him. No! he cried.

Mandy finally found a way to escape notice and slipped into the Pentagon, feeling like she wasn't supposed to be there, knowing it was dangerous, but none of that mattered as she searched for him.

Clay opened his eyes again, light filtering through broken places in the walls. He wanted to scream, but couldn't find his voice. He tried moving his arms again but couldn't move anything. He hurt all over, but his main concern was Mandy.

She took several trips, helping people out, but managed to go back in every time, wanting Clay so badly.

"Mandy..." Clay said weakly, seeing her beautiful face in his thoughts, them together at the house, in bed. Nothing else around them, just them alone finally. "Mandy..." He said once again before drifting off into unconsciousness.

She finally found him and, cutting her hands, tried to get the metal off of him. A man came over and tried to help her.

He moaned, hurt and barely awake and couldn't move. "Mandy..." He said once again, voice barely above a whisper.

"Shh. I'm here. I'm here." A gurney came and she went out with him, the blood from her hands mixing with his.

He could feel himself moving, but unable to move his limbs, he tried to open his eyes but found only bright light when he did. "Mandy..." He kept saying.

"Shh. Shh." She kept trying to comfort him, unable to do much, but, despite everyone arguing with her, refusing to leave his side.

Meanwhile back at JAG, Commander Harmon Rabb sat at his desk, head cradled in his hands, praying that Mac was okay and safe. The events of the day still not sinking in fully yet...his eyes were red from crying. He wanted to hold Mac so badly his arms hurt. Just then the phone rang..."Hello?" He answered praying that it was Mac.

"Harm," she cried when she heard his voice.

"I'm here, God Mac, are you alright?" He asked, tears overflowing, relieved to hear her voice.

"We're okay. Still trying to get home. Gunny's with me." She paused. "What about you?"

"You scared the hell out of me Mac...." Harm said softly.

"Are you okay? Bud and Harriet? The admiral and A.J.? Chloe?" She missed her family so badly that she hurt.

"Yeah, I haven't talked to Chloe, she calls you not me remember?" He laughed.

"Well, she just started talking to me again." She thought about Mic, hoping he was okay. "What about Bobbi and Clay?"

Harm didn't answer her for a few minuets. "Uh...Bobbi's fine.....Clay was in the Pentagon when the plane hit." He recounted with a shaky voice.

"Dear God." She rubbed her forehead. "We're trying to get a rental car; they're not letting anyone fly anywhere right now. Will you be there when I get back?"

"Yeah." He answered.

"Okay, I'll come there first. If Chloe calls my office, tell her I'm fine and I'll call her when I get home." She wanted to call her uncle Matt too.

"Okay, Mac please be careful.." Harm pleaded.

She hung up, unable to hide her tears any longer. It felt like her world was caving in and if she didn't get home, if she lost Harm, she would die. She hated the feeling, like another addiction. Gunny came and they went to their rental car silently, allowing him to drive home.

Harm just stared at the phone, so glad Mac was okay, now his attention turned towards Mandy and Clay and the admiral.

Mandy sat in the hospital waiting room, drowning out the noise, drowning everything out. Blood still covered her, both Clay's and her own. She needed Clay, needed to make sure he was okay, and she was so scared and lost she didn't know what to do.

Clay wanted to see Mandy, he had heard her voice, but wasn't sure if it was a dream or not. He opened his eyes and found he was on his back, in what looked like a hospital room. "Mandy..." He said, loudly. He got no response, he called her again still no answer.

Chris Reynolds heard Clay calling her stepdaughter's name and hurried over to him. "It's okay, Clay. It's Chris. Everything's going to be okay." She looked at the other doctor. "How bad is he hurt?"

"Where's Mandy Chris?" He said trying to get up. "I need to see Mandy." Clay insisted.

"She's outside. She can't come in until we know how you are, okay? You're gonna have to relax and let us check you out, okay? You were trapped."

Clay complied, falling back on the bed, it hurt like hell, he hurt like hell. But he needed to see Mandy.

She looked back at the doctor. "What have you done so far?"

"We've stabilized him, we're still waiting on the x-rays of his legs." The doctor informed Chris.

"Any objection to letting a friend come in and sit with him while he's waiting?"

"No, we just don't want him agitated." The doctor smiled.

"Well, he'll be a lot more agitated if she doesn't come in." She looked back at Clay. "I'll go get Mandy. She'll be right in." She walked out to the waiting room.

Mandy stood, hugging her. "You're okay."

Chris nodded. "I volunteered to help out. I saw Clay. They're waiting on X-rays on his legs, but you can see him. When the X-rays come back, let me take a look at your hands, okay?" Mandy nodded and Chris indicated the small space where Clay was.

"Mandy..." Clay said when she walked into the small space, his entire face lit up and tears welled up in his eyes.

"Shh." She walked to him, holding his hand. "It's all going to be okay."

He saw her hands, "What happened?" He asked holding them gently in his own.

"What do you remember?"

"I remember calling you.." He said rubbing his head.

"Yeah. A little while later, the Pentagon fell...you were still inside."

"What?" He asked confused.

"Clay, a plane hit the Pentagon too."

"Oh God." He said and his eyes opened to the size of plates.

"It's okay, calm down. They're still trying to get people out, but your mom was called and she knows you're safe."

"The Secretary of Defense, do you know?" He asked his eyes searching hers.

"No, but I'll have someone find out for you, okay?"

"Okay." Clay said and held her hands. "May I hold you?" He asked his voice shaky.

"You need to rest," she kissed his forehead. "Later, okay? I promise." She needed to get Chris to discreetly call her dad and find out about Mac, but not where Clay could find out. "Does it hurt?" She wished he wasn't in pain, but hoped it did. She didn't like the idea of him having to have X-rays after being trapped.

"No," He put on a smile for her.

She forced a smile for him as well, terrified inside.

"You always make it better." He squeezed her hand.

She squeezed back gently, wishing that she really could make this better.

"I love you hon." He said, wishing he could go home with her right now.

She smiled at him. "You need rest. If I stay with you, will you close your eyes?"

"Yes." He said.

"Okay. Then close your eyes and I'll stay right here by your side."

"Forever?" He asked, wondering why they were taking x-rays and they were taking so long.

"For as long as I can." She brushed his hair out of his face. "Are you scared?"

"Does it show?" He laughed.

"A little."

"I'm scared of losing you." He admitted.

"How could you lose me?"

"I had a dream, when I was stuck in there..." He said.

"It was just a nightmare, Clay." The whole day felt like a nightmare to which she would never wake up from.

"It was so real." He remembered.

"I can't say that I won't get transferred, but you will always have me. I promise."

"Okay." He lied, the dream still fresh in his mind.

"Now close your eyes and sleep. It's all okay."

"It will never be okay." He mumbled.

She knew he was right. "Don't think about that right now."

"I have to." He said.

"No, you don't. Let others worry about that right now, Clay. You rest so you can get better and go home."

"With you..." He said.

"I'm gonna try."

"Okay." He said and closed his eyes, because he wanted to make her feel better.

Chris came in. "The X-Rays and doctor are on their way in. Anything you need?"

"Call JAG. Tell them I'm okay and staying here if I'm needed. Ask if Mac's home yet."

Chris frowned. "Mac?"

Mandy nodded. "She was supposed to come home today."

"Dear..." Chris closed her eyes briefly and opened them. "A.J.'s at the office?"

Mandy nodded. "And Harm. I'm not sure who else." Chris nodded and went to call.

The doctor came in a few minutes later, "Ma'am," He nodded to Mandy. Clay opened his eyes and looked up at the doctor.

"Mind if I stay?" She knew Clay would want that.

"No ma'am, you need to hear this too." The doctor said.

She hated the expression and words. It never meant anything good. She held Clay's hand. Clay squeezed her's in return.

"The beam that trapped him, broke his legs in three areas." The doctor pointed to the x-rays. "But with rehabilitation I think you'll be fine." The doctor said.

"He'll need to be doing physical therapy everyday for sometime, and we would like to keep him here overnight for observation. We can set you up with one of the physical therapists before we discharge him." The doctor explained.

She nodded. "Thank you. Is there anything else we need to know?"

"Mr. Webb will need a lot of TLC." The doctor smiled. "And a lot of support."

"He'll have it." Even if she wasn't personally there, she would make sure he got everything he needed.

"Any questions?" The doctor asked.

She looked back at Clay. Clay shook his head.

"If you need me a nurse can page me." The doctor said and then left.

"See? Everything's going to be fine."

"You should go..." He said turning slightly away from her.

"I thought you wanted me to stay."

"I don't want you to have to take care of someone who might be a cripple for the rest of his life!" Clay shouted.

"Clay, I know you're frustrated right now, but if you yell at me, I'm stressed enough to yell right back."

"I don't want to burden you and that's what I'm going to do....you will be needed back on the Henry...." He trailed off.

"And until then, I want to spend my time with my family. If you don't want to be part of my family..." She stopped as she saw Chris at the door.

"Mac's fine. She's coming home."

"Thank God. How are Dad and Rabb?"

"Fine. They're both waiting for her to come in."

Mandy nodded. "Thanks, Chris."

"I never said I didn't want to be part of your family..." He felt horrible.

Chris gave her a look. "Tell Dad I'll call him tonight." Chris nodded and left. Mandy turned back to Clay. "Then what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, I don't know what I'm saying." He threw up his hands in frustration.

"That's right. We've had a hell of a day. You need to relax okay? Get some sleep?"

"I want to be with you Mandy I know that much." He said, his eyes pleading with her not to be mad at him.

"Okay. I'll stay here until I have to go."

"You don't have to." He said, feeling helpless, and alone.

"Clay, cut the bullshit. Do you want me to stay or not?"

"Stay." Was all he could manage, his voice slightly above a whisper, he felt the tears sting his eyes and forced them back.

"Okay. That's all I wanted to hear." She kissed his forehead. "Close your eyes."

"Okay," His voice still shaky, fighting tears, one inadvertently slipped down his cheek.

She wiped away his tears gently.

"I love you Mandy," He said softly.

"Hey, did I tell you if we were five years old, we could be blood siblings?"

"No." He laughed.

"Yeah. When I was trying to get that metal off."

"I wasn't in there if you remember." He said.

"Yeah, you were pretty out of it at the time."

"Did you talk to me then?" He questioned.

"Yeah. I kept telling you that everything was going to be okay...and it is."

"As long as I have you." He leaned over and kissed her gently.

She brushed the hair out of his forehead. "You were right about one thing...I might get called back earlier than we had planned. But there's IMs and email and phone calls and letters, it'll be just like I was here."

"Except you won't be lying in bed beside me." He smiled.

"Yeah, but I'll still be thinking about you every second of every day and wishing I was here."

"Me too." he said.

"You wish you were here?" She joked, trying to raise his mood.

"Ha. Ha. I wish I wasn't here." He said serious.

"Me too."

"I wish I had left when you asked me to, then we wouldn't be here." He said.

"You didn't know. No one did."

"Doesn't make it hurt less." He said, head hanging down.

"I know."

"I wish we had more warning." Clay said.

"I know."

"I hate waiting I want to get out of here now," Clay said.

"You need to rest."

"I need you." He says forcefully.

"Clay, I'll be here as long as I can."

"What can I say I'm a selfish guy." Clay forces a half-smile.

"No. I wish I could be here. You need me. But I can't make any promises." Usually that was enough.

"I know." Clay says and rolls on his side as much as he can, closing his eyes.

She sat there with him, knowing she could take care of him now, but maybe not later. He didn't want burden her, and he felt like he was right now, especially since there was so much else going on that needed her attention.

"Clay?" She whispered, not wanting to wake him if he was asleep.

"Yeah." He said.

"I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be." He said.

"There's nowhere else on earth I would rather be than with you."

"You love flying, and I wouldn't ever ask you to give that up." Clay said.

"It doesn't make either of us feel better about this though, does it?"

"No." he simply said.

"I can promise you something though."

"What?" Clay asked.

"You need me, not just want me, you really need me and no matter what it takes, I'll be here. I'll call or email or instant message or write you at least once every day. Every break I get will be here, okay?"

"You're right I do need you, I've never needed anyone like this, and now..." He trailed off.

"I know." She felt guilty, torn between her country and the man she loved.

"I love you." Clay said, softly.

"I love you too," she whispered.

"So what now?" Webb whispers.

"You get some sleep and we play it by ear. That's all we can do."

"Yeah." Webb says.

"Close your eyes and relax. I'll be here when you wake up in the morning."

"You'll probably be called back long before then." Webb yawns.

"I'll be here."

"You can't make that promise." Webb says desperately. "But I'm glad if you're up there, then I can say I personally know one of the brave souls protecting our country." He smiles.

She stroked his cheek gently. "Well, if I can't be here, I'll call you tomorrow. How about that?"

"I love the sound of your voice baby," Webb said taking her hand and kissing the palm of it.

She kissed his forehead gently. "Go to sleep."

"Lay down with me?" Webb asked, wanting to hold her for as long as he could.

"Okay." She curled beside him, careful not to hurt him.

He put his arms around her and held her close, knowing she was probably just as scared as she was.

"Go to sleep," she whispered again. She knew she should report in in a few hours and from there she wouldn't get to see him again, but she wanted to make sure he was okay. She'd talk to Chris about taking care of him, ask Mac to do the same.


"I love you Mandy." Webb said, drifting off into sleep.

She kissed him as her pager went off. "I love you too, Clay." She tucked him in with the hospital blanket, sneaking out to say goodbye to Chris. After promising to watch Clay and A.J. for her, the two women hugged and Mandy went to JAG, to Harm's office first.

"Mandy.." Harm said as she walked in, he got up from his desk and gave her a hug, one of the biggest he could.

"Hey, Hammer." She knew she looked a fright, but she didn't care.

"What's up with Clay?" He asked, remembering she had told him that he was in the Pentagon when the plane hit.

"His legs are broken. I need you and Mac to keep an eye on him for me."

"Yeah," Harm said. "Um.....Mac and Gunny have a rental car and are on their way."

She nodded. "I already got paged. Duty calls. I just...there never seems to be enough time, if any, after they call me in, so I figured I better say goodbye now."

"Yeah." Harm nodded.

"I'll email you, let you know what I can. Take care of Clay and Dad for me?"

"Okay. Love ya Mandy and be careful." Harm said and embraced her again.

She hugged him and then let him go. "I better go tell Dad. He's not going to be happy."

"No. He's not." Harm admitted.

She smiled half-heartedly at him and then left for her dad's office. When she left her dad's office, he locked himself in. Mac was on her way up in the elevator when Mandy was on her way out. Mac thought it was a little weird, but didn't comment.

"Mac," Harm said when he first saw her coming through the doors that led into JAG, he hurried over to her and hugged her tightly.

She held on to him, forgetting how angry she'd been, how hurt, not wanting to think about Renee or Mic, not wanting to fight anymore, just wanting to be home, to know that they were both safe.

He couldn't have been more happier that she was home, he was overwhelmed by happiness, tears swelled in his eyes, he didn't want to think about anything but her.

She finally let him go. "Are you okay? You're sure everyone's okay?"

"Yeah, Mandy was saying goodbye, she got paged. She's on her way back to the Henry. Clay's legs are broken, he was pinned in the debris of the Pentagon." Harm said, holding on to her hands.

"Everyone's okay." She breathed in, the stress finally getting to her.

"Yes, the admiral told everyone to go home, it's just him and me here. " Harm said, relieved at seeing her shining face, he was lucky and so was she.

She nodded. "I need to call Uncle Matt and Chloe; let them know I'm okay."

"Yeah, what about Mic? Don't you need to call him?" He asked, hesitating.

She gave him a go to hell look. "Harm..." She couldn't say anything, just turned and walked into her office.

"What?" He said, calling after her. He finally realized Gunny was standing there. "Gunny, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He signed out and turned to leave, not wanting to talk to Harm. He'd seen how bad the Colonel had hurt and it had only gotten worse after Harm had followed her out there.

"If anyone needs me I'll be in my office." Harm said to an empty bullpen. He turned and slammed his office door so hard the glass in the windows shook.

Mac sat at her desk for a few minutes, angry and hurting so much that she cried again. How could Harm have forgotten that she and Mic had broken up? What the hell did he think they were fighting about? She took a breath and dialed a number. "Yeah, Chloe...it's me."