That Girl
AN: Prepare for angst. I don't like this piece AT ALL, but it touched something in me as I wrote it, so I thought I'd let you guys read it. It's very short, I'm sorry about that :(
She looks at the girl in the mirror, and she hates her. Hates her with a deep and shameful passion.
That girl has dark skin, peppered liberally with angry red pimples. That girl has short, thin dark brown hair that flops pathetically over one shoulder, as if waiting for death. That girl has swollen eyes from crying every night. That girl is her.
She hates that girl for not being strong. She hates that girl for letting herself be immersed in books and not real people. She hates that girl for not being able to talk to others, because she's never had to talk to her books.
She hates that girl for letting the teasing of her classmates affect her. She hates that girl for trying one day to cover her entire face in a lighter shade of her mother's foundation, resulting in a horrible skin rash that left her entire face red.
She hates that girl for having a perfect mother, with fair skin and honey blonde hair. She hates that girl for not knowing her true mother, who was killed many years ago. She hates that girl for being so self-conscious.
She hates that girl for her eyebrows, that are so close together that they're almost one big hairy uni-brow. She hates that girl for the extra fat that hangs off her body, giving cruel schoolchildren one more reason to laugh at her. She hates that girl for being able to cry.
She hates that girl for being lazy. She hates that girl because she has talent, but is too afraid to use it. She hates that girl because she wants desperately to succeed, but she can only fail. She hates that girl for taking things far too seriously. She hates that girl for not being able to laugh at herself.
She hates that girl because at night, she curls up under her covers and thinks about dying. She hates that girl because she's weak, and she doesn't know how much longer she can go on being weak. She hates that girl because she hates her father for marrying the perfect woman, and then leaving them both.
She hates that girl because she's only fourteen and she's been through hell. She hates that girl because she can't bend under the blows of the world, she can only break. She hates that girl because she has no loyalty, not to her school, her family, her friends or even herself.
She hates that girl because she can't keep friends. She hates that girl for not making attempts to rekindle old friendships, reaching as far back as preschool. She hates that girl for hiding her feelings from the one person she's ever really loved, and she hates that girl for letting him walk away.
She hates that girl for thinking too much about herself. She hates that girl for the big, awkward glasses perched on her nose. She hates that girl for caring too much.
She hates that girl because she isn't someone she can look at and feel better about herself. She hates that girl because it's her, and she hates that girl because she knows there's no way of waking up from this nightmare.
AN: Hated it? Liked it a little? Did it touch something in you? Or do you feel like throwing up? Let me know! Can you guess who this girl is? It's pretty easy ;)