Disclaimer: All characters, except for those I created, belong to George Lucas.
Author's note: So here's the sequel to the Pawn. Not much has changed except that this takes place fifteen years after the Pawn and centers mostly around Luke/Leia/Wilhelm. The story line will be this: After years of what some thought to be extinction, the Sith return. The Jedi are scrambling to try to find the identity of the new Sith lord while corruption in the senate is beginning to make the Jedi Order crumble. Anakin's life becomes more complicated with the sudden disappearance of one of his children. I hope you like it! This isn't the most exciting chapter but I just wanted to reintroduce the characters as teenagers or just a lot older. Thanks for reading!
I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.-Thomas Hobbes
The boy stared into the eyes of the man that was his reflection. He never saw himself, Luke Skywalker, staring back at him in a mirror. He only saw the man holding the reputation that constantly preceded him. He was seen as many things: the oldest son of Padme and Anakin Skywalker, the Jedi child prodigy, the son of the chosen one. He smirked at the strange yet familiar face with no happiness. He had not earned the reputation he was known for. For eighteen long years he correctly carried the name of Luke Skywalker, but Anakin's reputation.
As a child, the multiple Jedi that had trained him expressed their expectations in him to uphold the Skywalker legacy and their subsequent disappointment when he failed to master a task on the first try, as his father would have. He looked down at the recently severed Padawan braid he was clutching in his hand. Among his late mother's possessions his father rarely went near, he found Anakin's own cut Padawan braid. The sandy color was nearly identical in every way to Luke's. Pride had bubbled in him when he found that braid. Pride that, in many ways, he was indeed his father's son, pride that the Skywalker's were revered throughout the galaxy. However, sadness still pinched at his thoughts. In the roughly fifteen years that had passed since his mother died, a sort of shadow still hung around the house, reminding them that she was no longer there to shed light on the dark places. But there was not much to base the reminder on. He deeply regretted it, but he remembered little of his mother. Wilhelm, the youngest Skywalker child, remembered even less. Leia, Luke's twin only in age and genes, remembered the most. How he longed to have the same memories as she, memories of the woman preserved only in holos, monuments, and those in the galaxy who remembered her voice. Anakin was little help in procuring memories.
Though he wanted little more than for his children to remember their mother, the love of his life, he could hardly think about her without bringing forth the horrible, nausea-inducing sinking feeling he had gotten when she was wrenched from him in this life and dragged to the next. The only thing that had kept him from throwing away everything and joining her was his children. They needed him and he needed them.
"How do you feel?" Anakin asked, slapping on hand on Luke's shoulder.
"Good," Luke said, attempting to put on a smile, though he felt far from good. He was glad he was now a knight, but he knew that with it would come so many more expectations and so many more instances when his father found disappointment in him. He looked into the blue eyes that had given him his own. The Anakin Skywalker standing before him was not the same Anakin he had seen in holos that were taken more than fifteen years before. That Anakin glowed with life and joy, a carefree spirit radiating off of him and infecting all those around him. That Anakin only seemed to exist now in stories Obi-Wan told that took place before he was born. The Anakin that he was looking at now paled in comparison. His still relatively young looking face rarely had the bright smile Luke saw in old holos anymore. His bright blue eyes seemed to droop from more than age. Luke often wondered if their sharp gaze masked resentment.
With Luke and Wilhelm, the Jedi in the family, Anakin had found it difficult to toe the line between kind, caring father and stern, wise Jedi master. He felt obligated to help them not feel the sting of their mother's absence they had by now gotten used to. However, in doing so he rarely displayed his emotions.
Luke felt it was his fault that his mother was dead. After all, if he hadn't still been in the Temple, she wouldn't have gone back to get him and would be standing here before him, congratulating him on becoming a knight.
Anakin gave him a skeptical, knowing look; the kind of look that only a father could give his son. But he was more than a father to Luke. He had trained him since he was old enough to hold a lightsaber; had been a mentor and role model to him his whole life. No, he didn't resent his father. He only resented the fact that no one seemed to think they were two different people; that no matter how hard he tried, he never seemed to meet his father's impossibly high standards.
"How do you really feel?" Anakin asked. Luke sighed and looked back down at his severed braid, twisting it in his fingers.
"Overwhelmed, I guess," he finally answered. "I mean, what now?"
"Well, now you wait for an assignment," Anakin said simply.
"It's just weird. I've trained my whole life for this and now that it's here…I don't know, I was just expecting more. Don't get me wrong-I am grateful. I just…" Luke trailed off and hung his head slightly. His father wouldn't understand. He was a model Jedi, he had to be. He was Master of the Order, after all.
"That's normal. You'll get used to it soon," Anakin said. "I remember feeling a little like that after I got knighted, but I was more excited than anything else."
"What did you do after you got knighted?" Luke asked as Anakin led him into the hallway. Anakin smiled sheepishly, "I went to see your mother and give her my padawan braid. She would have been proud of you, Luke. I'm proud of you." Luke smiled, "Thanks, dad. Are you going to go home?"
"Unfortunately, I have a council meeting but I'll be heading home as soon as it's done. If your sister is there, tell her I need to talk to her before she goes back to Coruscant. Also mention that she needs some time off."
"I will, but you know she wont listen," he laughed.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. See you at home," Anakin said, sighing slightly.
"Leia?" Luke called as he walked into the house, nodding at C-3PO as the gold droid babbled about something.
"She's not here," said a tired looking Wilhelm as he walked out of his room, yawning.
"Did you just wake up? It's the middle of the day," Luke said incredulously. Wilhelm rolled his eyes, "Whatever, my wonderful Master Kenobi in his infinite wisdom decided to give me the day off so I intend on spending it however I like with no one, especially my brother, passing judgment." He yawned again and stretched, his arms above his head and his fingers spread out as he stood on his toes. He squinted at Luke for a second before he turned and walked into the kitchen to pour himself some caf. Luke rolled his eyes and said, "Okay, fine, but I thought Leia was here. Dad said he wanted to talk to her." Wilhelm shrugged, "Haven't seen her. She'll be here soon; she's always late. What does dad have to say to her that's so important anyway?"
"I don't know," Luke said, looking down at the braid he was twisting in his hand.
"Oh man," Wilhelm said, his mouth hanging open slightly as he looked at Luke's hand. "I'm such a nerfherder, I completely forget that was today! How does it feel?"
"What do you mean?" Luke asked quietly.
"You know, to be a knight. You can finally do whatever you want, don't have to answer to anyone," Wilhelm said. Luke smiled as he noticed the child-like wonder that glistened in his brother's eyes as he spoke. Though he was still a padawan, he always seemed to be more talented than Luke in being a Jedi. He was more powerful in the Force and at times a better swordsman. Not to mention, he did everything as well as or better than Luke with much less effort on his part.
"I guess it feels sort of weird to be honest."
"Yeah, well, you'll get used to it. I can't wait to be knighted myself," Wilhelm said, taking a sip of his caf and then scrunching up his face. "Force that's hot."
"I have one guess as to why you're excited," Luke said, laughing and shaking his head slightly. "Finally being able to date."
"Hey, some of us in this family actually acknowledge the existence of the opposite sex and plan on taking full advantage of that 'must be a knight to get girls' rule."
"As if that rule is a huge roadblock to you as it is." Wilhelm gave a small, proud not accompanied by a shrug, "I still think it's really hypocritical considering dad and mom got married when he was still a padawan."
"Which is why whenever he sees you with a girl he pretends nothing is going on," Luke reminded him.
"Please, dad doesn't even know about half of them," Wilhelm scoffed. Luke raised his eyebrows, "I wouldn't be so sure."
"Whatever, even if he does know, he hasn't done anything about it. Sow how about you, finally going to date little miss stick to the code?"
"Oh, Kai? No…no. I mean she's my best friend. It's not like that," Luke said. Though his voice was confident, Wilhelm spotted little red splotches on his face. Wilhelm smirked, he liked to think that he was helping his very tightly wound brother lighten up a little.
"Mhm," Wilhelm mumbled into his cup. "Anyway, since you're a bigshot Jedi now, wanna ask dad if you can go on a mission with me tomorrow? Obi-Wan said he'd let me go without him. Should be boring, just a border dispute."
"Maybe. I don't know. I have a feeling that dad's going to start giving me really tough missions to prove to himself and the other council members how good I am. As usual, he'll be disappointed," Luke said bitterly. Before Wilhelm could answer, they heard the front door whoosh open and Leia walked into the kitchen.
"Luke, congratulations," she said, pulling him into a tight hug and kissing him on the cheek.
"Thanks. Weren't you supposed to be here this morning?" Luke asked.
"Yes, well, that's what I thought too but the vote that was supposed to happen last night was rescheduled for this morning so I obviously had to stay." Luke was always a little jealous of Leia. It seemed like everything she did was perfect to their father. She could remember their mother, was elected queen when she was fourteen and had one of the most popular rules since her mother reigned, and now she was a senator. She nearly completely followed in her mother's footsteps, something their father loved. She could do no wrong in his eyes.
"Hey, no hug for Wilhelm?" he asked, spreading his arms. Leia rolled her eyes but gave her younger brother a tight hug. She screamed and pulled away when he tousled her hair.
"Will, stop! My hair, you messed it up," she yelled, her hands springing to the two large buns on the side of her head.
"How do you even get your hair like that?" Wilhelm asked.
"Lots of talent, Willy. I know it may be a foreign idea to you," she said haughtily, pulling a small mirror out of the pocket of her dress to examine the damage done.
"Oh before I forget, dead said he needs to talk to you about something," Luke said.
"Taking a shower," Wilhelm interjected, walking out of the room.
"Did he say what about?" Leia asked.
"Nope."
"Hey, are you okay?" Leia asked quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine you just…you know how dad gets. He expects so much of me and then seems constantly let down. This whole becoming a knight thing means he can send me on tougher missions with higher stakes. I'm tired of disappointing him."
"Luke, you know dad's just proud of us. He sees so much potential in you, he just wants you to meet that potential."
"Why is he the only one who sees that potential, then? And if he actually thinks I'm useful for something, why does he undermine and criticize me in front of other padawans, other Jedi. I just don't get it, though I guess I should be used to it by now."
"That's just what dads are for, not to mention Jedi masters. He's proud of you. He's proud of all of us. And you're right, he does expect a lot but only because he knows what you're capable of. So stop doubting yourself," Leia said, smiling.
"Hey kids," Anakin said as he walked into the kitchen. Both of them jumped; they hadn't even heard the door open.
"Daddy," Leia said, hugging her father. "Luke said you had something to tell me?"
"Yeah uh…both of you I suppose. Where's Will?"
"He's taking a shower," Luke said.
"Okay," Anakin said slowly, sitting at the table and gesturing for Luke and Leia to sit too. "When your mother died she recorded something on Artoo for each of you to watch when you turned eighteen. And well, since you turn eighteen in a few weeks I just thought you should be aware of it."
"When can I see it?" Leia asked. Anakin hesitated, slightly surprised at her eagerness to watch it. True, they all in some way wanted to know more about their mother, but they rarely spoke of her.
"Whenever you want, I guess," he finally said.
"What about Wilhelm?" Luke asked.
"I'm going to tell him about it in a little while, though I'm not sure what his reaction will be. You two probably know better than I how many issues Will has with that." It was true. Wilhelm, like Luke, had no memories of his mother and, also like Luke, he felt extremely guilty about it. Wilhelm however, unlike his brother, did everything he could to change the subject when she was brought up.
"Also, Leia, when your mother died she left a few things to you. For one, she left you her whole wardrobe, most of which is here. She said that she didn't want to see them just get thrown out so she left them to you. I waited until you were roughly her size to tell you about it, so I can show you where they are whenever you want," he paused for a minute, enough time for Leia to interject.
"From what I've seen in holos and things, some of her clothes were so beautiful but she was so tiny, I can't believe I'll fit into any of them." Anakin gave the shadow of a smile. In that moment she sounded so much like Padme, even just saying the smallest thing.
"I'm sure they'll fit fine. If not, you can probably get the ones you like resized."
"Wow…thank you," Leia said earnestly. "But you said 'a few' things?"
"Yes, one other thing," he said, taking something out of his pocket and placing it on the table. He looked down at it for a minute, giving the ghost of a smile again before sliding the japor snippet necklace over to Leia. "I made this and gave it to your mom when we first met, I was nine. I don't really know why, but she kept it and after we got married, she wore it often. It meant a lot to her and she asked that I give it to you." Leia slowly took it, turning the small rectangle over in her fingers.
"I…I don't know what to say," she said quietly. "Thank you. I mean, to be holding something that obviously meant so much to her. I feel closer to her in some way." Luke raised his eyebrows slightly; it wasn't like Leia to be emotional.
"So, that's that," Anakin said. "I don't know if you want to watch what she said and you don't have to if you're really opposed, but I would like you to."
"Hey dad, I didn't know you were home. What are we talking about?" Wilhelm asked as he walked in, absently twirling his brown padawan braid around his fingers.
"I have to go contact the…queen," Leia said hastily, carefully slipping the necklace into her pocket and quickly walking out of the room.
"Yeah I have to er, work on my swoop bike," Luke said, following Leia. Quickly thinking of covers for his activities was never Luke's forte; even in Jedi business he wasn't a great liar.
"What's with them?" Wilhelm asked, laughing slightly at his sibling's behavior. Anakin bit the corner of his mouth. Wilhelm was easily the most even-tempered of his three children-he was rarely doing anything but smiling or joking around. However, when stories of his mother came up he nearly became a different person, He got quiet, sarcastic, angry. Anakin could never quite figure out why. Maybe he felt abandoned, maybe he felt guilt he couldn't remember her. Whatever it was, Anakin had to be careful whenever he mentioned Padme.
"Sit down, Will," Anakin said, tapping his metal fingertips on the table. "Obi-Wan tells me you want to take on the border dispute tomorrow alone."
"Yeah. I mean, those are so basic it's almost patronizing to send two Jedi."
"I agree, which is why I'm allowing it. Not your fist mission by yourself, so you should be able to handle it easily."
"Great, thanks, but that still doesn't explain the vanishing act with Luke and Leia," Wilhelm said suspiciously, his grin fading slightly.
"Well…yes. I was telling them that when your mom died she recorded something in Artoo for each of you and I thought that when you're ready, you should watch it." Wilhelm's grin completely vanished. He sucked in his cheek so his chiseled face seemed gaunt. His gaze fell away from his father and to his fingertips that were tapping nervously on the table.
"Wilhelm, I know you don't like talking about her but you should watch it," Anakin said gently.
"Why?" Wilhelm asked bitterly.
"Will, look, I think your problem with talking about her comes from guilt. You don't remember her, you have no idea what to say when people talk about her so you feel bad about that to. No-"
"I don't need to hear about my issues, dad," Wilhelm interrupted. "You know what I do remember? I remember hardly seeing my father for a year because after you killed Sidious, you tried to hunt down the guy who killed her. Then, I remember you only talking about her when we asked a specific question. But do you know what I remember the most? I remember being a little kid and being afraid of my dad leaving and never coming back. That recording offers me nothing," he yelled, getting up and practically stomping out of the room.
Anakin sighed, not bothering to go after him. He knew that Wilhelm would come back from wherever he went and act like nothing happened. But something else was bothering his youngest son, he knew it, he reacted too strongly for it just to simply be about the recording. However, Anakin also knew him well enough to know that he would only tell him what the problem was if he really wanted to and no amount of questioning could coax it out of him.
"So, are you going to watch the recording?" Kai asked, swinging her feet back and forth as she sat on the hood of Luke's speeder.
"I mean, yeah, I guess I will. I want to see what she said," Luke said. He was focusing on the skeleton of a swoop bike he had been building for the past few years. Kai was amazed that what had started out as nothing more than a scrap of metal had actually turned into something useful.
She clicked her tongue, looking around the large and rather sparsely decorated garage she had been inside of countless times. She had been friends with Luke since they were thirteen and had been extremely close ever since. Like most padawans who were not the children of Jedi, she never knew her family but almost felt a part of Luke's. She stopped making the clicking sound when she noticed a small metal box on the floor. She hopped down from the speeder to inspect it.
"Oh wow," she said as she saw that the box seemed to be filled with flat-holos. She picked one up to examine it and found what appeared to be a much younger Anakin and a pretty brunette woman. It wasn't hard to guess who she was, Kai recognized her from other holos.
"So was so pretty, your mom," Kai said quietly, still looking down at the image. Luke stopped working and glanced back at her, his interest sparked when he realized what she was looking at.
"They were so young here. Look, your dad still has his padawan braid."
"Oh, yeah. I think that was taken right after they got married. My dad's never looked that happy."
"She looks so kind from the holos I've seen."
"She was. Master Kenobi has all these stories about her and what a great woman she was. They were good friends."
"Does your dad ever talk about her?" Kai asked. Though she and Luke were like siblings, he rarely spoke of his mother and she seized this sudden willingness to talk as the opportunity to ask all the questions she had.
"Only when he has to or when we ask questions. We'll usually get the 'that's what your mother used to say' comment, stuff like that. Most of what I hear is from my aunt or grandma and of course master Kenobi and Tano."
"Is it just too painful for him?" Kai asked. Luke sighed, picking up a holo of a toddler-aged Leia sitting in Anakin's lap.
"Master Kenobi once told me that he had never seen anyone so completely devoted and in love with someone as my father was with my mother except for in my mother's feelings towards my father. He was willing to put everything on the line for her. He almost turned to the darkside because he thought it would save her. When she died…Obi-Wan said it was like everything that made my dad who he was went with her. He's sure that if it weren't fur us kids, he would be dead. As much as I love and look up to my dad, I used to be angry at how he handled her death, how he hardly spoke of her, but Obi-Wan's explanation helped me understand a little. I think he wants to talk about her, wants us to know about her, but it was just too hard to say or maybe he thought it would be easier for us to know we had lost her if we didn't really know what we were missing, I don't know." He turned as he heard someone walk in behind him. He didn't know why, but he shoved the holo he was holding back in the box and quickly closed it. There was no need for this, especially since he found that the person who walked into the room was Leia.
"What are you guys looking at?" she asked, peering over Luke's shoulder.
"Just some old holos. Do you know where they came from?" Luke asked.
"No. Is it just a box full of holos?"
"Looks like it. Did you watch the recording yet?"
"Not yet. I'm going into Theed to have a meeting with the Queen, would you like to come with?"
"Well, Kai's still here."
"No, I actually have to leave. Master Tano and I have to go to Coruscant," Kai said. "And I should probably leave now. See you guys later."
"Bye," Luke said, turning to Leia. "Look at this holo." He handed her the holo with Anakin and Padme on it. She smiled as she looked down at it, her finger sliding over the screen.
"This is really old, they both look so young. There's the necklace dad gave me," she said, pointing to the japor snipped that hung around her mother's neck.
"Must have been years before we were born, dad's still a padawan."
"It's so romantic," Leia said, putting the holo back in the box.
"Excuse me? Did former Queen and current senator Leia Skywalker just call something romantic?" Luke asked, laughing.
"It is though, we should all be so lucky to find someone who you just, you know, fit with the way they did."
"Maybe so, but I still maintain that you need to be able to move on past a person," Luke said, going back to working on his swoop bike.
"Well, don't you think that sometimes when you find someone who was just so perfect for you, you can't stand the thought of being with someone else?" Luke looked at her for a long time, his blue eyes staring into hers, but he saw so much more than just her eyes.
"You did watch the recording, didn't you?" he finally asked. Leia nodded, "I didn't know what to say if Kai asked."
"So, what did she say to you?"
"She talked a lot about love and how we shouldn't blame dad if after she died he got cold. She told me about them but in a way I've never heard their relationship described before because it was from her point of view. She said that before she married dad, she constantly put her job and her duty to her people before her own personal life, she barely even dated anyone. Even when she had feelings for dad, she wouldn't admit it until she thought they were going to die. After they got married, he thought about quitting the Order because there were months on end when they wouldn't even be able to contact each other, but she encouraged him to keep going. Even after we were born, though she felt guilty, she refused to quit the senate. She said that that was her biggest regret, that she constantly put the senate in front of her happiness or spending more time with dad or us. That sad part is, she must have recorded this a few days before her death because she was planning on resigning to be with us. She wanted to tell me that no matter how important being a senator is, I shouldn't push people away because the love me and I'm afraid of getting hurt." Luke smirked slightly, " Wow, you were only three when she died but she knew exactly how you would turn out."
"I know. She said she could just tell I would be like her."
"Not a bad person to be like. So, want to go now?"
"Yes, actually we're running a little late, let's go."