Uncle Fred meets Ironhide

Oneshot

Disclaimer: if I owned it ya think id be doing this?

WARNING: Lang use i.e. cursing

Constructive criticism welcome not flames

Two soldiers stood in the woods, one eons old and, the other only had seen decades of war. Both sat in the quiet woods, waiting for the other to move. Fred lay on his stomach in the leafy undergrowth. His green fatigues and camo paint blending him perfectly to the landscape. He looked out into the darkening forest. The oaks and pines softly whispered in the breeze. Small underbrush made for great hiding places. He had been sent on a mission to gather intel on a group of supposed terrorist hiding in the woods. That had been 4 days ago. He had stumbled onto a titanic machine that obviously was used as a weapon. Quietly crawling in to get a better look he lay still when it moved.

In a single motion the machine had stood and turned to where the intruder lay. Fred cursed himself for tripping a sensor continued to remain still, and so the wait began. Neither had moving for 4 days, both had weapons trained on the other. Neither could get a kill shot with out serous damage to the other.

Finally the titanic machine spoke breaking the stale mate.

"Human put down your rifle and walk away." It said in a deep voice

"Like hell!" Fred said, "I don't fail at my missions!" To Fred's utter shock the machine laughed. To which Fred responded with a simple phrase "Do you enjoy breathing?"

The machine looked at him and lowered his weapon, smiling. "Human! What is your designation?"

"Ohh you can just call me your maker" Fred said dead pan rifle still leveled at the machines gears.

"Well I am Ironhide, a cybernetic life form from another planet. Personally I would have terminated you, but my superior insists on not harming this planets life! Such hindrances, you would have made a great trophy to brag about. You have not moved in 4 days! Had my scanners not been on I would have been caught unaware of your presence." Ironhide finished with a flurry of hissing cannons going on standby.

Fred got up and held his rifle ready. "Ya and if I killed you it would take a hell of a lot of energy to cut out your heart." He eyed the machines torso seeing where he would have to pry and cut for the organ.

Ironhide asked a question while looking at his canons for scratches "how is it that you are so stealthy? Most of your species is very noisy."

"Well" Fred began "If I told you I'd have to kill you. But let me tell you I love my job, get to blow up shit and get paid for it."

At this last comment Ironhide had a gleam pass over his optics. "Oh and what is it that you know how to blow up?"

"Hmmmm," Fred said while running a hand over his shaved and camo painted head "Nikie missiles, napalm, mines, grenades, rocket launchers, you name it I can do it!"

"Ha! Those are such a weak array of talents. " Ironhide laughed, "I myself have been able to shoot laser cannons with dead accuracy in gravity wells, and plasma rounds from 3 miles out, by your measurements. Shooting multiple targets while under fire and having a seekers missile un-detonated in my leg!"

Fred seeing the challenge rose to the challenge. "Impressive, But I bet you a sticky bomb will do a whole lot of damage to that frame of yours. Add a couple of 50 cal. Shots to your torso and I think I would have you."

Ironhide powered up a canon and pointed it at Fred "Not if I get the first shot off." He said as he saw his target raise his own weapon in time with him. "Ha you are a true warrior, what other battles have you done human?"

Ironhide and Fred became war buddies after their first meeting. The supposed terrorists in the woods were quickly forgotten due to classified information. If one was to go in the woods and see the pair, which wouldn't happen since the closest they would get is a 4 miles, you would see old warriors swapping stories and ideas for hours on end on how to blow up things and the best way to kill something.

Author note: Hope this was edited enough for ya'll.