Title: Hey Pretty (It's just us)
Author: LovelyPsychopath
Rating: R
Pairings: Draco/Harry Slash
Summary: major angst, fluff. Stream of conscience.
Comments/Warnings: I would just like to thank my very good friend, the semi- colon.
This fic was inspired by the visions of mystery and pain that was delivered into my mind via the song "Hey Pretty" by Poe. This fic is based on my actual feelings, and my past to a certain degree. I tried to use a lot of imagery, and a lot of color words. This fic is based more on the actual character's feelings and emotions, rather than the environment they live in. I didn't even try to describe their settings; I wanted to pain an accurate image of their every thought and emotion. A lot of work went into this fic. I just hope you like it.
This fic contains graphic material such as self mutilation. If this offends you do not read. Viewers with a current problem/history with self mutilation should not read this. It could be very triggering.
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{Well its 3 am I'm out here riding again Through the wicked, winding streets of my world I make a wrong turn, break it Now I'm too far gone I've got a siren on my tail And that ain't the fine I'm lookin' for}
{I see a stairway so I follow it down Into the belly of a whale where my secrets echo all around You know me now, but to do better than that You got to follow me Boy I'm trying to show you where I'm at
{Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me Through my world Hey pretty, don't you wanna kick and slide Through my world}
{Well I got a mind full of wicked designs I got a non-stop hole in my head-imagination I'm in a building that has 2000 floors And when they all fall down I think you know it's you they're fallin' for}
{I can't forget I am my sole architect I built the shadows here I built the growlin' voice I fear You add it up, but to do better than that You got to follow me Boy I'm trying to show you where I'm at}
{Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me Through my world Hey pretty, don't you wanna kick and slide Through my world}
{Hey pretty, my pretty baby Rock it through my world Hey pretty, my pretty baby Rock it through my world}
{Hey now can't you feel me longing (Do you get the gist of this song now?) Hey now can't you feel me Feel me Feel me now}
{Hey pretty, my pretty baby Don't you wanna take a ride with me? Don't you wanna take a ride me? My baby My pretty baby Rock it through my world}
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His eyes were gray. No, they weren't just gray; they were the color of dull silver; the color of the stormy sky reflected in an angry raging sea; the color of desire.
Pale golden hair like silk framed his face, making him look like an angel; or judgment.
Skin, pale and fine as snow; it was made to be touched. Yet no one could get near him; no one alive was worthy of him, and no one ever would be----
Especially not me; me, with my imperfections; hair too messy, eyes too green, my body scarred by dark lords and Quidditch alike, my goofy grin, and the funny way I laugh.
We're like dark and light, night and day, sweet and sour...ying and yang. I can wish, can't I?
Sometimes when I look at him, it hurts. My heart speeds up, and my palms begin to sweat. I feel like every fiber of my being is being unsettled. When he looks at me with his cool and mysterious gaze, I just have to stop; stop and think to myself that he broke the mold.
I don't think I've ever seen him smile. I've seen him sneer, glare; put on airs. But I've never seen him truly smile; truly look happy. Sometimes, just when he's about to turn away, I see a glint of something in his silver eyes; it calls out to me like the cries of a child; it's desperation, sadness, despair, self hate; all rolled into one. He wants to be saved. I can feel it. I just wish it would be me...I wish it could be me.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Cold; so cold. The wind stinging my skin; it makes it all go away. I could shut the window. I could curl up in bed; all warm, and fall asleep with a smile. But do I deserve that? No, I don't. Besides, how can I fall asleep happily when I'm so damned miserable?
It'll go away. I'll make it go away. I'll make them all not care about me. I'll make myself disappear; melt into the bed, and though the floor and I'll be gone forever. What I wouldn't give to scream; to yell and not care; to thrash and strike out without consequence. No one would touch me. No one would make me do a damned thing. No one would look at me.
Pain; sharp at first, and then dull. I have to look. I have to concentrate; a thin red line on a sea of white. I pinch the skin, and the blood begins to travel down my arm in a thin line. I feel the relief and adrenaline pumping through my veins. I can finally forget all of the shit in my life. I finally can sleep without worrying.
Why am I so alone?
Why does he say those things to me? Am I really that bad? Do I deserve to be punished; to be hated? I've never been his son. I have his hair, his eyes, his biting tongue, but I'll never have his heart. I'll never have his ability to crush the hope out of things. I hate him.
Won't anyone hold me? Oh God, just let it go away.
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Oh. Oh my..what is that? It looks like..but no, it can't be. Not him, he could never do that. He would never..but what else could it be? That can't be the result of any kind of accident. Oh God, no!
I grabbed his arm; he looks so tired. He jerked back, his eyes becoming wide and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Why? One simple question, but it looks as if no words can answer it. I look into his eyes; he looks into mine. I can feel something wet slide down my cheek; why is he looking at me like that? Oh. When did I start crying.........?
I try to hold him; make his pain go away. He struggles, landing a single blow to my chest before giving up. His lips are parted and deep rasping breaths come from his lungs. I'll hold him; I'm never letting go; not until his pain is gone; not until he can be loved again.
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Damn. Damn it all to hell and back. Why him, and why now? Why me? Why won't he let go of me? Just leave me alone, Potter..
He's so warm though. When was the last time that someone actually held me? Told me that everything would be fine? I can't even remember my mother doing this. I suppose it couldn't hurt to be held a little longer.
He's crying. I look at him in awe. He shows his pain so easily, without a mask; no anger...just raw emotion. Why are you crying.....Harry?
His wide green eyes open, and he smiles. He smiles at me; no one else but me! Oh god. What have I done? He.he...loves....me?
I love you....I...I do.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
The darkness that has wrapped itself around our hearts seems to unravel and slip away. Night becomes day, and the sun rise is a brilliant one. No more pain, just smiles. Life through rose tinted glasses...a beautiful world just for two; you and me...we're forever. I can feel it in your embrace.
C'est Fini.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Comments: What do you think? Please post your comments ^_~
Author: LovelyPsychopath
Rating: R
Pairings: Draco/Harry Slash
Summary: major angst, fluff. Stream of conscience.
Comments/Warnings: I would just like to thank my very good friend, the semi- colon.
This fic was inspired by the visions of mystery and pain that was delivered into my mind via the song "Hey Pretty" by Poe. This fic is based on my actual feelings, and my past to a certain degree. I tried to use a lot of imagery, and a lot of color words. This fic is based more on the actual character's feelings and emotions, rather than the environment they live in. I didn't even try to describe their settings; I wanted to pain an accurate image of their every thought and emotion. A lot of work went into this fic. I just hope you like it.
This fic contains graphic material such as self mutilation. If this offends you do not read. Viewers with a current problem/history with self mutilation should not read this. It could be very triggering.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
{Well its 3 am I'm out here riding again Through the wicked, winding streets of my world I make a wrong turn, break it Now I'm too far gone I've got a siren on my tail And that ain't the fine I'm lookin' for}
{I see a stairway so I follow it down Into the belly of a whale where my secrets echo all around You know me now, but to do better than that You got to follow me Boy I'm trying to show you where I'm at
{Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me Through my world Hey pretty, don't you wanna kick and slide Through my world}
{Well I got a mind full of wicked designs I got a non-stop hole in my head-imagination I'm in a building that has 2000 floors And when they all fall down I think you know it's you they're fallin' for}
{I can't forget I am my sole architect I built the shadows here I built the growlin' voice I fear You add it up, but to do better than that You got to follow me Boy I'm trying to show you where I'm at}
{Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me Through my world Hey pretty, don't you wanna kick and slide Through my world}
{Hey pretty, my pretty baby Rock it through my world Hey pretty, my pretty baby Rock it through my world}
{Hey now can't you feel me longing (Do you get the gist of this song now?) Hey now can't you feel me Feel me Feel me now}
{Hey pretty, my pretty baby Don't you wanna take a ride with me? Don't you wanna take a ride me? My baby My pretty baby Rock it through my world}
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
His eyes were gray. No, they weren't just gray; they were the color of dull silver; the color of the stormy sky reflected in an angry raging sea; the color of desire.
Pale golden hair like silk framed his face, making him look like an angel; or judgment.
Skin, pale and fine as snow; it was made to be touched. Yet no one could get near him; no one alive was worthy of him, and no one ever would be----
Especially not me; me, with my imperfections; hair too messy, eyes too green, my body scarred by dark lords and Quidditch alike, my goofy grin, and the funny way I laugh.
We're like dark and light, night and day, sweet and sour...ying and yang. I can wish, can't I?
Sometimes when I look at him, it hurts. My heart speeds up, and my palms begin to sweat. I feel like every fiber of my being is being unsettled. When he looks at me with his cool and mysterious gaze, I just have to stop; stop and think to myself that he broke the mold.
I don't think I've ever seen him smile. I've seen him sneer, glare; put on airs. But I've never seen him truly smile; truly look happy. Sometimes, just when he's about to turn away, I see a glint of something in his silver eyes; it calls out to me like the cries of a child; it's desperation, sadness, despair, self hate; all rolled into one. He wants to be saved. I can feel it. I just wish it would be me...I wish it could be me.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Cold; so cold. The wind stinging my skin; it makes it all go away. I could shut the window. I could curl up in bed; all warm, and fall asleep with a smile. But do I deserve that? No, I don't. Besides, how can I fall asleep happily when I'm so damned miserable?
It'll go away. I'll make it go away. I'll make them all not care about me. I'll make myself disappear; melt into the bed, and though the floor and I'll be gone forever. What I wouldn't give to scream; to yell and not care; to thrash and strike out without consequence. No one would touch me. No one would make me do a damned thing. No one would look at me.
Pain; sharp at first, and then dull. I have to look. I have to concentrate; a thin red line on a sea of white. I pinch the skin, and the blood begins to travel down my arm in a thin line. I feel the relief and adrenaline pumping through my veins. I can finally forget all of the shit in my life. I finally can sleep without worrying.
Why am I so alone?
Why does he say those things to me? Am I really that bad? Do I deserve to be punished; to be hated? I've never been his son. I have his hair, his eyes, his biting tongue, but I'll never have his heart. I'll never have his ability to crush the hope out of things. I hate him.
Won't anyone hold me? Oh God, just let it go away.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Oh. Oh my..what is that? It looks like..but no, it can't be. Not him, he could never do that. He would never..but what else could it be? That can't be the result of any kind of accident. Oh God, no!
I grabbed his arm; he looks so tired. He jerked back, his eyes becoming wide and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Why? One simple question, but it looks as if no words can answer it. I look into his eyes; he looks into mine. I can feel something wet slide down my cheek; why is he looking at me like that? Oh. When did I start crying.........?
I try to hold him; make his pain go away. He struggles, landing a single blow to my chest before giving up. His lips are parted and deep rasping breaths come from his lungs. I'll hold him; I'm never letting go; not until his pain is gone; not until he can be loved again.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Damn. Damn it all to hell and back. Why him, and why now? Why me? Why won't he let go of me? Just leave me alone, Potter..
He's so warm though. When was the last time that someone actually held me? Told me that everything would be fine? I can't even remember my mother doing this. I suppose it couldn't hurt to be held a little longer.
He's crying. I look at him in awe. He shows his pain so easily, without a mask; no anger...just raw emotion. Why are you crying.....Harry?
His wide green eyes open, and he smiles. He smiles at me; no one else but me! Oh god. What have I done? He.he...loves....me?
I love you....I...I do.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
The darkness that has wrapped itself around our hearts seems to unravel and slip away. Night becomes day, and the sun rise is a brilliant one. No more pain, just smiles. Life through rose tinted glasses...a beautiful world just for two; you and me...we're forever. I can feel it in your embrace.
C'est Fini.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Comments: What do you think? Please post your comments ^_~