A/N: Since English isn't my native language and I have absolutely no idea of any grammar of any language in the world, I have to apologize for coming up typos and especially grammar issues. It would be actually cool if you could call my attention on existing errors within my story in your reviews - I will make sure to correct all of them for sure. :-)

Disclaimer: Mai HiME and its Characters do not belong to me. All this stuff belongs to Sunrise.

Overcome destiny

Romance/General

Summary: Natsuki and Shizuru graduated from Fuuka Gakuen. Five years had passed and Natsuki opened a garage, while Shizuru returned to Kyoto to plan her future. ShizNat Rated: T (just in case)

Chapter 1

My dearest Shizuru,

Whenever I think back, I start to think about you. And today is a very special day, which is the reason I cannot stop myself from thinking about you more than usual. It was today eight years ago when we first met, Shizuru, do you know that? Probably not anymore, but for me it is important to hold on to this memory with every ounce of strength I manage to summon.

This anniversary, however, is the exact reason I am this sad. After you graduated, you went back to Kyoto to start your studies at Kyoto University. It was your fathers wish and since you have this kind of obligation to fulfil whatever your family asks you for, I let go of you for the sake of your future. It was painful seeing you disappear out of my life, though.

This is five years ago now, why do I still tend to think about this? It's not like we lost contact… well, unfortunately this isn't the whole truth. When you left, we wrote many letters, phoned at least twice a week and once in a blue moon I visited you in Kyoto. But today, our contact is only just a shadow of what it used to be back then. And it was me who decided that it would be best for you if I didn't burden you further that I did anyway.

But I miss you, Shizuru. You were my first real friend and nobody can replace you, however Mai, Mikoto or even Nao try to do so. Mai helped me to lessen the initial pain of your leave, so we became good friends, but she couldn't make the pain go away.

And what about my own life? For four years after my graduation I began to work in a garage to earn my money, but you know that already. It wasn't that bad of a work, even if most people – including you – would tend to call it dirty and even straining. But with my natural talent for machines, my new experience and the money from Searrs, that my mother once received, I was able to open my own garage earlier this year. Nice, huh?

So I finally made my little dream come true and it is even profitable. Somehow the people come to like the 'cold girl in a man's domain'-thing. Whatever...

I only hope you are doing as well as I am, but lately I have a bad feeling about you actually. Please, tell me that everything is okay. I'd hate it if it wasn't.

Not only I miss you, but the carefree and nonchalant tone in your sweet accent. Much time has passed since I last heard it. What saddens me more than our growing loss of contact is my hesitance to send you these special anniversary letters. It helps to write about what I feel and what I think and I'm pretty sure you would appreciate it if I let you read them, but in this regard I'm the worst coward.

Oh Shizuru, you have no idea how much I miss you.

Yours Natsuki

The letter was finished by now and after I put it in its envelope, I did what I used to do with every personal letter for Shizuru: I hid it. It was kind of depressing not to be able to tell her how much I actually missed her, but someone like me had no right to interfere with her life.

Besides, I wasn't a sentimental person, so keeping a diary was out of the question. When did I start to see those letters as a replacement for a diary, though? It's not like we haven't exchanged letters before, but at some point I stopped answering hers and channeled my frustration and feelings into those letters I knew she would never ever read.

Last thing I heard about her was that she graduated from Kyoto University some time ago. Actually I read it in the newspaper. I was not surprised to see her mentioned on a national level, even if it was only a small article. Her academic degree was one of the best and this was not only in her age-group. A beautiful, intelligent billionaire-child is worth of mentioning I think, but maybe, just maybe, I was a little biased here.

But I couldn't help being remembered of her graduation at Fuuka Gakuen, when she was still around. This time was so carefree, it didn't even matter that the carnival ended quite recently back then. It may have been as well an escape to normalcy, away from the dread of the past.

Whatever, there was no time for brooding over past things; the past was something we couldn't change anymore. I know Shizuru often tends to think about what happened earlier. One could say she is a person living in her past. If there was one huge difference in the way of how we live, this would be it.

However, I am not Shizuru, therefore I had a little garage to manage and with this no time to replay the foretime of my life.

Today I had Yuuichi Tate's motorcycle on my to-do-list. It was okay and there was nothing wrong with it, but he spent a nice load of cash to buy it, so he wanted to be sure his little baby was alright.

Earlier I used to think he was an idiot, who couldn't even decide which girl he should make happy, but when I learned that Tate had actually a decent sense of taste regarding good machines, I changed my opinion about him. Now I think he is only retarded for buying a Honda and not a Ducati, but there where things in the world that couldn't be helped after all. I am sure Shizuru would agree with me in this point.

It didn't take long to have Tate Mai come over to my place. Yes, she married him three years ago, but since Mai opened a restaurant, they had no time to make their family complete. However, this didn't matter to me; I had enough work to do on my own now.

I cannot say it often enough how lucky I was to get my hands on this building. The garage itself was on the ground floor of course, my apartment was only on the other side of the street. The old owner retired from his work, saying something like he was too old now and how much potential I had, so he helped me to make my dream come true.

"Natsuki? Hello, someone at home?" Mai asked me when I looked at her, startled by her sudden outburst. "Natsuki, how it comes that you space out whenever I visit you? Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, thank you for your concern." I said nonchalantly, trying to avoid having to speak with her about how much I missed the one and only precious person in my life at all.

"Here's your lunch." she said as she walked over to the table where I placed some of my tools to put the luscious bento down. Even if I had the time to cook for myself, my cooking skills were quite bad, so Mai decided to mix up my usual unhealthy fast food menu with some of her cooking. It was a welcome change after all and inwardly I was more than thankful to her.

However, "Ah, thanks." was all I managed to stammer. I wasn't used to depend on someone, so it was unnatural for me to freely accept gestures of friendship or to thank someone for anything. Here I was lucky again, because Mai knew my background and was able to handle with my demeanour.

"Natsuki, why don't you at least try to make more friends? I cannot check on you every day, you know?" Mai said with a slightly annoyed tone in her voice. To socialize with others always was one of her strongest traits. No wonder she succeeded in winning me as a friend. But this wasn't a trait I shared with her.

"I have you and Mikoto, so why bother with other people?" I answered her in all honesty and she knew I was right. Until now I didn't need many people around me and I saw no reason either to change this attitude of mine.

Mai sighed once more and didn't push further into this topic. It was futile, after all.

"And how are things going with your garage?" Mai asked in an attempt to change the topic. Now this was something I was more eager to speak about.

"It isn't easy. Those bastards only see a little girl in me." I snorted. "But I enjoy their dumb faces when I'm done with my work better and faster than any of the other competitors. Really, Mai, it is worth to stay and wait only to see it." A little smile appeared on my lips as I spoke of my work.

"Yeah, I'm sure, but to keep a restaurant going isn't easy as well. It is very time consuming, so I unfortunately don't have the luxury of staying here with you all the time." she said with a sad look. I could read it easily in her eyes that she wished strongly for having more time for her friends. It was a problem I didn't have to deal with. No matter how long I had to work, there was simply no one I could spend time with.

'Shizuru… I wish you were here.'

"Say, Natsuki, don't you have any problems with your customers? If you keep this cold and unfocused look of yours I doubt you will get many clients at all." Mai continued to pick on me and my still preserved reputation as Ice Queen. Some things would never change.

"It's not as bad as you think it is. Somehow they all seem to think that what I'm doing is kind of cool. I don't get it, but as long as this horny pervs' money allows me to make a living, its okay I think." I said. "But recently the amount of work is constantly growing and I think I should hire someone to help me." I added.

It was true, I needed the help badly. Even without something like social obligations or free time I could barely manage my work. Last week I published an advertisement in the local newspaper and since then I already got some applications, but most of them weren't what I expected them to be, so I thought it better to wait a little longer until I got to the job inverviews.

Mai sat there in silence, blinked a few moments in utter disbelief, when she finally managed to comment my intention of hiring someone. "It must suck to have a boss who hates humanity and is making any effort to stop others of befriending her."

It was my turn now to blink in confusion while my brain tried to comprehend the meaning of Mai's words. "Mai… you aren't talking about me, are you?" I finally said. 'Damn this traitor!' I thought, but smiled anyway.

"O… of course not, Natsuki! I would never-"

"One more word and I scrap Yuuichi's new Honda. A Fireblade isn't cheap." I coldly stated. "Out of all people you should know the best how much money this baby is worth, Yuuichi Mai. As far as I can tell, he spent a huge load of your cash, too."

"Erm… yeah, I… I know, Natsuki." Since she was cornered again, Mai tried another attempt of changing the topic. "How is Shizuru-san doing?"

'Shizuru.'

Here I was again, not able to push her out of my head. Our destinies were intertwined in some way and I couldn't forget her no matter how hard I tried. It was hard to accept, but my selfish desires didn't want to die as I wished they would. I missed her with every fiber of my body and what worried me the most was that I couldn't even explain why it was how it was.

Whatever Mai expected as reaction from me, it seems I did neither. Her smile dropped in an instant and her eyes were filled with concern. Mai knew me, so I thought she would have already figured what was wrong.

"Sorry, Natsuki, I didn't mean to-", she tried to soothe me, but it didn't help at all.

"No, it's okay. Well… it isn't really okay, but this is something I have to live with. Our worlds are too different… she is the sole offspring and the lone heir of and to the Fujino Business Empire. It is only natural that she obeys her fathers will and takes over his position after he retires." I said, more to myself than to Mai, holding up my reason for keeping my precious person out of my life. I even had to close my eyes, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "I would only stand in her way. Did you know I once met her parents? It was an… interesting encounter, to say the least. Shizuru has enough to worry about, my presence would only worsen her already complicated life."

'She loves me in a romantic way, while her parents despise me and all what I stand for. They even dislike Shizuru for some reason I was never able to figure out exactly. With me around she would never ever agree to the surely advantageous marriage her parents arranged for her.'

So I closed my eyes, trying to banish my vain and selfish thoughts from my head. Recently I had enough practice in doing so, after all.

"Otou-san, can I have a word with you? There is a something of utter importance we have to discuss."

My eyes, which people use to describe as crimson, stared daring into dark brown eyes. Come to think of it, I never ever dared to challenge my father in any way, much less openly like this, always being the obedient little girl. However, this was something I had to leave behind in my past. I live in the here and now; it is my life after all, not his! Willingly going into an arranged 'marriage'? Suffocating in work like my father? Sacrifice my young life to increase a wealth I wouldn't be able to spend even with a tenfold lifespan? And all of it only to die a lonely death at last?

'I was my fate's slave as long as I never experienced the strength of love. It is funny how I thought of love as a worthless and overrated emotion for all the time I never felt it. But with my feelings for you, Natsuki, I was able to break the shackles of my family's destiny. No longer shall I stay restricted by them.'

Sajonji Fujino, the head of the Fujino clan, nodded after he thought about my unusual request. It seems he couldn't remember the last time I was able to withstand his gaze. Whatever it was, he would surely try to break my newfound strong will as soon as possible.

"Very well." he said in his usual deep voice, still staring into the eyes Natsuki once called beautiful crimson orbs.

'Natsuki, soon I will see you again, even if it seems that you reject me for loving you in an inappropriate way. Will I ever hear you complimenting my eyes again?'

"You shall have fifteen minutes after today's dinner. In your own interest I hope it is important and does not cause any problems until then. You may leave."

With this his eyes went back to his paperwork, completely ignoring me. I was too eager to wipe this arrogant look off of his face, so I wordlessly turned around and went straight to the door, leaving my father's office. It was no secret that my relationship with both of my parents, especially with my father, was a disturbed one. I was said to be drop dead gorgeous, I did everything I begun in a perfect and dignified manner and had what people described as inner glow. Whenever I entered a room no matter its size, my presence would draw nearly all attention to me. I obeyed every single rule my father made, did everything he asked me for, but even then, with all this, I couldn't help but feel unwanted. Often I could grasp the accusation of guilt in his eyes whenever he thought I didn't look at him.

In many ways people around me do not hold back with compliments, saying how my eyes were mesmerizing and the huge amount of love letters and wannabe-suitors proved that my smile brought both boys and girls to lose their heart to me. And yet I was the great disappointment to my parents, however perfect I tried to be, to make them at least a little bit proud of me.

But nothing. What I have to offer, they take it as given without showing any emotion at all.

Why do they think of me as the cause to the inner problems of the Fujino family? Well, there were complications when my mother gave her first and equally last child birth. This child was me. These problems led to an excision of her uterus, what was at last the reason for her involuntary infertility.

Thus the main branch of the Fujino family had only a daughter as heir for the first time since several hundred years. I couldn't do anything about it, but they did never let any opportunity pass to let me feel how much of an unwanted and misfortune bringing child I was. There was nothing I could do to redeem myself in their eyes. Wasn't it only logical to cease my efforts?

'Natsuki, did I ever tell you that you were the first and at the same time the last person to accept the most parts of what constitutes the whole of my personality? Everyone only picks one random trait like my eyes, my trained smile or my sharp intellect and declares his or her love to me, but you saw my inner self and accepted it. You liked me for what I was and not for the façade I build up to appear in a proper way. You even said how thankful you were for giving you the feeling of being loved. '

I didn't notice the servants going out of my way when I took the direct route to my room in the first floor of our home, so deep was I thinking about her. Was there ever a day I didn't think about my one and only Natsuki?

So why did you stop answering my letters?' I asked myself, hoping beyond any hope that she had her reasons and didn't hate me.

Soon I entered my room and went straight to my desk; there I sat down to complete the diary entry I begun this morning when I was thinking about how to speak to father or what I should actually say to him.

'Let's see what we have up until now…'

Dear diary, dear Natsuki!

Today I think I gathered enough courage to confront my father with my future plans. I know that it will be hard to say everything I have to say, not to mention the struggle that awaits me in the aftermath. However, I will escape the golden cage that defines my life.

You probably have absolutely no idea how much of a help you are, my Natsuki. It does not matter how twisted my feelings for you are, since they are all what supports me with the needed strength for the upcoming battle. However, I am ashamed of myself. Here I am, admitting that I only chose to resist my family because the moral support you were giving me with each phone call, with each letter and every visit is fading, leaving behind only memories. And even these memories are slowly fading into a grey shade of something far and distant. If I don't fight now, I never might try again.

But do you still remember when we met in the flower garden of Fuuka Gakuen? Although today it is the eighth anniversary of when we first met, I did never forget this life changing encounter with that outwardly cold beauty... who would've thought my Natsuki was so sweet and warm on the inside? I never before felt what I felt back then and since then I never stopped to care for you, my love. It is regrettable that we were never more than best friends; however, I thank you for even this much of affection towards me, for not hating me like I deserved. Even if I did terrible things to prove you my love, the warmth my memories of you are giving me is more I ever hoped to experience in this household. Arigatou, my kind-hearted Natsuki.

A faint smile formed on my lips as I read the latest entry in the diary again. With a sigh I took the pen Natsuki once gave me as a birthday present and started to finish what I mentally called the 'last thoughts in my cage'. I had no doubt that I would break with my family, one way or another.

To be honest, I do not know if it would move our mutual feelings to the better or to the worse if I ever had the courage to confess my sill remaining real feelings to you again. I never tried to do so, my love, and I probably never will. You said it was a part of mine, so you will accept my affection for you, but then again you do not need to say how you feel about my twisted feelings. All words are unnecessary when all I need to describe the current state of our relationship is a mere look at the fading away contact.

But I spoke with Otou-san and our discussion will take place after today's dinner. It is hard to describe what I am feeling right now, but the sole thought of you still provides me with enough inner strength to resist every intimidation, fear and uncertainty that lies ahead.

There are things I must prepare for the upcoming meeting, so the next words I will write in this diary will be the words of a Fujino Shizuru without the restraining shackles my family bound me with.

I still love you, Natsuki, and I always will

Yours Shizuru

Carefully I closed my diary and hid it beneath some other documents in one of the drawers of my desk. Then I locked my drawer with one of the keys on the key ring I always carried with me and went to the bathroom to take a shower. I would not go unprepared to confront my father and therefore I had to take care of some certain matters beforehand. Matters like a 'suitor' whom I only saw once in an omiai many weeks ago.

Arigatou – 'Thank you' in Japanese

Kyoto-ben - A dialect somewhat different form common Japanese. It is used in and around the city of Kyoto.

Kanin-na – 'I'm sorry' in Kyoto-ben

Omiai – A formal and traditional meeting with a potential spouse.

Ookini – 'Thank you' in Kyoto-ben