A/N: Here is the beginning of my Mysterion origin story. It's less of a dramatic story like some of the other origin stories I've seen and more like an actual South Park episode (or group of episodes, I'm not entirely sure how long this will be). It is a parody of Batman Begins with a bit of Hugh Hefner and Miley Cyrus. I hope you enjoy this! Reviews are always appreciated :).

Also, haha, "The Other Side of Me" is a Hannah Montana song, but it fits so well with the Mysterion part too...I crack myself up.

P.S. If you've been keeping up with my other story, Snowpocalypse, I'll finish it soon. I just hit a bit of writer's block...not because I don't know what comes next, but because whenever I try to write it down, it doesn't feel quite good enough. It'll come to me, it usually does eventually. The last chapter should be a cinch.

Craig Tucker squinted his eyes and sighed. "Is the bright light really necessary?"

Sergeant Yates leaned on the interrogation table with both hands. "It's standard procedure, now, tell me what you know."

Craig shrugged. "I don't know anything."

Yates glared at him. "Several people reported seeing you with him."

Craig rolled his eyes. "So what, doesn't mean I know anything about him. He came up to me and tried to get me to help him. I said 'no' because I didn't want to deal with any of this bullshit. Now here I am." Craig crossed his arms and looked away. "Thanks a lot, Mysterion…"

Yates stood up straight and began to pace back and forth in front of the table. "What was his motivation?"

Craig narrowed his eyes and looked back at the sergeant. "Look, I don't know, I guess he just wanted to help? Is that so bad? I never really understood why vigilantism is supposed to be bad. He did all of you a favor. Just let it go."

Yates stopped pacing and stared Craig down. "He humiliated the South Park Police Department! He made us look like helpless idiots!"

Craig looked bored. "That's because you are helpless idiots. You never do anything right."

Yates barely refrained from flipping the table over. "Get out of here, kid, I have other witnesses to question, and I'm sick of you."

Craig shrugged again. "Gladly," he said, hopping off his seat and heading towards the door. He stopped for a moment. "Sergeant," he called out nasally, "one last thing."

Yates turned around and waited. "What?"

Craig turned around and flipped off Yates before walking out the door, leaving behind a very pissed off sergeant.

Craig continued down the hallway until he happened upon Wendy Testaburger. The two of them stared at each other for a moment.

"How did it go?" Wendy asked.

"Fine," Craig replied. "He's not a very good interrogator."

Wendy smiled. "So our friend is still safe?"

Craig nodded. "For now. Yates may suck at interrogation, but he's a persistent asshole. Do you remember how he hunted down that prostitution ring?"

Wendy shuddered. "I prefer not to."

Craig snickered. "See you around," he said as he walked out of the station and into the night. He walked through the town until he found a specific alleyway, and then he stopped and waited.

"How long are you going to keep this up?" Craig asked the darkness.

There was only silence. Just when Craig was about to leave, however, a figure appeared out of the shadows.

"As long as it takes," Mysterion replied with a flourish of his cape. "This town has been preyed on long enough. It's time for someone to take a stand."

Craig stared at him. "That wasn't the original plan," he reminded the masked boy. "What changed?"

Mysterion looked away. "Everything," he said gruffly. "Everything changed."

ONE MONTH EARLIER…

Kenny fell out of bed.

He looked around, startled awake, and sighed with relief to see that he was back in his room. It felt like it had been an eternity since he had been back in his own house.

Just then, the bedroom door burst open and Karen ran towards her brother. Kenny greeted her with a hug, but he could tell that something was wrong by the look on her face.

"What's wrong, Karen?" Kenny asked concernedly.

Karen hugged her brother tightly. "I had a bad dream that you were dead," Karen sobbed into his shoulder. "You would never die on me, right Kenny?"

Kenny tensed in his sister's embrace. "Of course not," Kenny lied guiltily. He wondered, did Karen have the ability to remember his deaths in the form of nightmares? Or was this just a wild coincidence?

Kenny frowned. He had been dead for quite some time. He had possessed Cartman's body for a while, then a pot roast, and then the godly Rob Schneider. His deaths had never lasted that long before, and it kind of concerned him…kind of.

Karen pulled away from him and wiped her tears away with a smile on her face. "Okay, well, Hannah Montana is about to come on, that show always cheers me up," Karen told him as she turned around and ran out the door.

Kenny raised an eyebrow. Miley Cyrus had some nice tits on her.

Speaking of tits, Kenny suddenly remembered that he had hid the latest issue of Playboy under his pillow. He jumped up onto his bed and pulled out the magazine with a grin.

Kenny flipped through the glorious pictures of naked women gleefully. What he wouldn't give to meet those women in person, to get to witness their perfect racks with his own eyes…

Kenny thought of an incredible idea. He knew he should live life to the fullest, because he couldn't possibly know if his death would ever be permanent. So, to begin his life anew, he would fulfill his lifelong dream: he was going to the Playboy mansion.

Kenny jumped off the bed and ran out the door.

Stan and Kyle lounged in front of the TV with bored looks on their faces. They had been trying to watch a re-run of Terrance & Philip, but they could barely hear the show over the incessant screaming coming from upstairs.

"You get the BEST of BOTH WORLDS!" Shelly sang along with her iPod, "YOU MIX IT ALL TOGETHER AND YOU KNOW THAT IT'S THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!"

Stan groaned. "Ugh, goddamn it."

Kyle raised an eyebrow and cast a glance at the stairs. "What is that?"

Stan sighed. "Something horrible called Hannah Montana. It's some dumb show that chicks like that has Miley Cyrus in it."

Kyle covered his ears with his hands. "And she makes music for the show too?"

"How have you not heard of this, dude? It's all over the place," Stan said incredulously.

Kyle shrugged. "I don't really keep up with girly stuff…"

Stan rested his cheek against his hand. "I have no choice, I have to live with one."

Kyle pulled his hat over his ears. "Why does she always have to sing along to this crap?"

Stan laughed. "Dude, you call this singing?"

Kyle snickered. "Why would anyone like a show with Miley Cyrus in it?"

Stan shook his head. "I have no idea, I guess it's just a chick thing. No guy would ever like this shit."

There was a knock at the door. Stan glanced over at Kyle before hopping off the couch and heading for the door. Kyle followed closely behind and took his place by Stan as he opened the door.

Standing in front of them was Butters, wearing a grin and a Hannah Montana t-shirt.

"Hi fellas!" Butters exclaimed excitedly. "I came on over because I heard Hannah Montana playing through an open window!"

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Aw, aw no, Butters, go home."

Kyle muffled a snort with his hand. "Yeah, don't you realize that it's a chick show?"

Butters ignored them once Shelly ran down the stairs and shoved Stan out of the way.

"Oh my god, you're a Hannah Montana fan too?" Shelly cried happily.

"Yeah!" Butters replied, jumping in the air. "I've seen every episode and I have every song on my iPod!"

Kyle looked over at Stan, who was still pinching the bridge of his nose. Shelly grabbed Butters' arm and pulled him inside.

"Come on, let's go upstairs and watch the latest episode! I've seen it like three times already but it keeps getting better every time!" Shelly said as she pulled him towards the stairs.

"Have fun," Kyle muttered with a smirk.

Stan finally looked up. "Yeah, enjoy watching a bitch with no talent make millions off of people like you."

Shelly froze. She smiled at Butters. "One moment," she said sweetly. Shelly trotted on over to Stan and punched him in the arm. "Fuck off, turd." With her smile firmly back in place, she proceeded up to her room with Butters.

"What the fuck just happened," Stan asked, rubbing his probably bruised arm. "Why the hell is Butters in my house?"

Kyle laughed. "What if Butters starts dating your sister?"

Stan backed away from him with a scowl on his face. "Dude! Gross! What the hell, man?"