Hello all. Wow, this is the first story I've published in forever. But just keep in mind that it's not really a story per se. These were just some ramblings I wanted to write down last night, and then I ended up adapting it a bit for Edmund. It isn't heavily edited (or at all really), but is just here in case anyone needs some encouragement. Reviews are always welcome. Enjoy! (: (PS: Does anyone actually read the author's notes at the beginning? I sure don't. Haha)

Why are we so prone to feeling sorry for ourselves?

Pity parties don't bring any joy. They don't gather friends. They don't wrap you in laughter. But we throw them anyway. Why?

What makes self-pity and sorrow so alluring? We know it doesn't help. We know the things that initiate our wallowing are trivial in the long run. Yet we crave to indulge in our self-pity. Like eating too much Turkish delight, we relish in continuing the action that makes us sicker.

When we acknowledge that we could end our misery but choose to ignore sense, we catch a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel and willingly slam the door to the exit in order to continue groping about in the darkness. We're the Marshwiggles that cling to our precious pity, snubbing our nose at those that attempt to lead us to our salvation. We embrace our sorrow and wrap ourselves in it, but before long it will continue to ensnare us with or without our permission, choking us until nothing remains.

Sometimes I wish it were so clear, that we could see the Snake coiling around us. That we could understand the pain we subject ourselves to. That we could innately comprehend that our lack of resistance signifies our unwillingness to allow Aslan to step in, signifies that Jadis has already claimed victory as we submit ourselves to her nefarious clutches.

I wish that it were so easy to picture, nay, feel God and his compassion for us. To replace the benevolent Lion with the true figure of this world who looks after my interests, who calls me "Dear Heart", who has my life in his powerful paws. I wish an invisible devil would only ensnare in obvious ways such that I could glean what actions of mine do me harm.

Because when I, when all of us, allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity, we deny ourselves Christ's gift, his sacrifice given by grace. We tie our own bonds and lock our own chains that hinder us from fulfilling the mission we have received.

Rather, let us mobilize and defeat our enemy, our own pity, before it can overwhelm us. Let us beat it back with the fervor of those commissioned with a task by the King. Then we can be free to move forward, not looking back, not needing to know why, not asking how things could have been.

For no one is ever told that.

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Thanks for reading!