AN: I got really bored the other night and the idea for this just sorta popped into my head. It is Drapple with a bit of Draco/Ginny and totally not serious. Purely for laughs only, so please please don't take this serious.

Disclaimer: I don't own HP, but I did buy apples the other day.

Draco Malfoy slunk into his bedroom, closing the door quickly behind him. He pulled an apple out of his pocket and sat on the edge of the bed. He brought the apple to his mouth but did not bite it. His lips caressed its glossy green flesh. It was cool and firm. "Oh, Apple," he moaned. "I've been thinking about this all day." He spoke softly in fear of being heard by someone outside the room. "I'm sorry I couldn't get away earlier."

Downstairs the party was going full force. Ginny had been running around like crazy all evening playing hostess, making sure the appetizers were circulating and drinks were filled. She was relieved to be able to catch her breath when Hermione pulled her away to talk. She was nodding along, not really paying attention as the brunette babbled on about her relationship with Ron and how she thought he was close to proposing.

"Hermione?" Ginny interrupted sounding distracted.

"What?"

"Where is Draco?"

"Oh, ah…I thought I saw him talking to Zabini a while ago, but after that, I don't really know," replied Hermione, confused.

"I'm gonna go find him." The redhead dashed away.

"Don't worry, Apple. This won't hurt at all," Draco whispered into its firm skin before biting down. The green flesh gave way with a pop and Draco moaned as juice flowed into his mouth. He chewed slowly, enjoying the tart flavour. As he went to take another bit, he heard the sound of footsteps outside the door. He stiffened as the door handle jiggled. "Shit," muttered a voice before murmuring "Alohamora." The door swung open easily.

Ginny had quickly realized he wasn't anywhere downstairs and made her way up the stairs of their new home. The door of their bedroom was closed. She sighed and tried the handle. "Shit." It was locked. "Alohamora," she muttered with a groan. The door opened to reveal Draco hunched over on the bed clutching and apple.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me, Draco." He glanced at her as he stroked the apple softly. "You honestly left me downstairs alone with all of our guests to eat an apple? Couldn't you do that and mingle at the same time? They are your friends too. And for Merlin's sake, will you stop petting it!"

"Her."

Ginny's eyes got wide. "Excuse me?"

"Apple is a 'her' not an 'it'. You insulted her." The redhead searched his eyes for some sign of a joke, but found none. He was serious.

"I married a mad man," Ginny said with a laugh. Her tone bordered on hysteria. "Absolutely mad."

Draco sighed and set Apple down gently on the bedside table. He strode toward Ginny quickly, taking her by the shoulders. "I'm not mad. I am actually a lot more normal than one would expect. We summered with Aunt Bella when I was a small child." He kissed her on the forehead. Reaching to open the door he paused. "And one thing,"

"Hmm," she replied weakly.

"Word of this doesn't leave the room, Ginevra."

AN: Tell me what you thought! Reviews are wonderful! :D