Izaya was leaving again. "Why?" Shizuo murmured, blinking his eyes open to see Izaya silhouetted against the window, the light dawn light outlining his figure. Izaya laughed softly as he pulled his black shirt over his head.

"Why what, Shizu-chan? I have to go." Izaya walked past, headed for the bedroom door. Shizuo reached his hand out, leaning over the cold spot in the bed to grab Izaya's wrist.

"Why don't you stay?" Shizuo asked, his voice hopeful, even though he knew Izaya would never accept. He did this every time—sometimes Shizuo would wake up to an empty and quiet room, never getting used to the absence of the warmth he had fallen asleep next to.

"I just can't," Izaya replied, his voice a monotone. As usual. It was always the same answer with him. Shizuo felt the vague stirrings of annoyance in the back of his mind.

"Just stay." Shizuo whispered fiercely.

"No," Izaya said back, just as forcefully, trying to pull away, but Shizuo's fingers tightened around Izaya's wrist.

"Why do you always do this?" Shizuo murmured, his eyes dropping. "Why do you always leave as soon as you can? You never even talk to me normally anymore." Izaya narrowed his eyes, leaning down to pick up his black jacket from the floor, holding it with one hand.

"Why should I bother explaining anything to a stupid monster like you?" Izaya scoffed, trying to twist his wrist out of Shizuo's grasp, but to no avail.

"I'm serious, Izaya," Shizuo was persistent. "I just want us to go back to the way we were before."

"The way we were before?" Izaya laughed. "So—" he dropped his coat, whipping a blade from the pocket as it dropped. Before Shizuo knew what was happening, the cold metal was touching the skin on his neck and his heart was beating faster and faster. "You want me to do this, huh, Shizu-chan? You want me to try and cut your throat out? You want to chase me and try to kill me?"

Shizuo swallowed. Why am I nervous? I've never felt threatened by him before. Why is my heart beating so fast? "We had something," Shizuo whispered, meeting Izaya's eyes. "We were able to get over it. Remember? When did that all stop? When did it become just—this?"

Izaya laughed, throwing the blade to the side, where it hit the wall with a thunk and stuck there, glinting in the dim dawn light. "Since I realized what I did wrong, Shizu-chan!"

"What…what do you mean?" Shizuo didn't like the strange sheen in Izaya's eyes—that blankness, that emotionless film.

"You know my policy?" Izaya's voice was too loud, too out-of-control. Izaya's always so composed and calm…what's going on with him? "My policy is to never end up here! And yet here I am! With you, of all people!"

"Wha…" Shizuo was confused. "End up 'here'? What does that mean?"

Izaya dropped his head, and when he spoke again his voice was a whisper. "In this position. With anyone. I never wanted it. I always tried to keep myself away, to make myself unapproachable to anyone. And yet you somehow saw through that, and you accepted me for who I pretended to be, and you loved me for it. You did this to me, Shizuo."

Did he just call me…? "What do you mean? In what position?" Shizuo was shocked. Izaya was talking seriously for once, not just playing that stupid game he always did.

Izaya lifted his head, and Shizuo caught his breath when he saw the glint of tears on the smaller man's cheeks. "In the position…" Izaya whispered. "To say that I love you."

"Izaya…" Shizuo whispered, reaching up a hand to wipe the tears from Izaya's cheeks. Izaya started at the touch, then slowly leaned back into it.

"I never wanted this," Izaya sobbed. "Now look at me. Look what you've done to me." He leaned down, his forehead on Shizuo's chest, tears streaking down his cheeks. Shizuo held him closely, protectively, holding the brunet's head to his chest and making soothing noises.

"It's ok, Izaya. Just cry. Who knows the last time you've let it all out." Shizuo murmured, stroking Izaya's hair with one hand as the smaller man's thin shoulders wracked with sobs.

"I didn't want this," Izaya kept whispering over and over, "I didn't want this, I didn't want this." Shizuo held him close.

"You want it now, don't you?" he whispered to the brunet. "I'm here for you, Izaya. I always will be. I swore to never hurt you again, didn't I? I'll never let any harm come to you."

"How can you say that?" Izaya sobbed against the blond, "How can you love me for the horrible person I am? How can you vow to protect me after I've tried to hurt you so many times? Not even five minutes ago I had a knife to your throat."

Shizuo tightened his embrace, the sunlight filtering through the window gleaming off the tears on Izaya's face. "Love isn't rational, Izaya," he murmured. I can't believe I'm saying this, he thought. "It's an emotion."

"Emotions?" Izaya stopped crying, but his shoulders still shook. He looked up, his red eyes meeting Shizuo's brown ones. "I always said I never had any."

"But you do, Izaya. And I love them. Just as you love me. It's ok to say it; it's ok to have relationships and put your trust in others."

"Ok, then," Izaya took a deep breath, and Shizuo wiped the tears from his face. "Shizu-chan…I think I love you."

Shizuo smiled and held his lover close. The sunlight was getting brighter, shining through the window and lighting up the whole room. "So," Shizuo said, "I guess I did get you to stay."

Izaya managed a laugh. "Ok…maybe I'll stop leaving in the mornings, then."

Shizuo stroked Izaya's hair, never wanting to let him go. "Maybe you can make me breakfast this morning, to apologize for all those abrupt comings and goings?"

"What? I can't cook," Izaya snorted.

"It's fine; I'll teach you."

Izaya looked up at Shizuo, meeting his eyes. Izaya smiled—but it was a different smile from his usual. It wasn't arrogant or cruel; it was a genuine smile of happiness. Shizuo never thought he'd see that expression of contentment and bliss on Izaya's face, and it melted his heart.

"I think I'd like that," Izaya said, and Shizuo could feel his face heating up. It's like I'm falling in love with him all over again. "Oi," Izaya looked down, to where his hand was resting on Shizuo's chest. "Are you having a heart attack or something?"

"No," Shizuo laughed. "I'm just glad you stayed."

Izaya leaned his head back down, curling into Shizuo's warmth. "Yeah," he said softly. "I'm kinda glad I stayed, too."

I tried my best but I feel like I keep going ooc with these guys...were they in-character this time? Please review and thank you for reading!