Spiraling out of control chapter 1
(I don't own Star Wars or anything pertaining to it)
Obi-wan walked through the hall of the Jedi temple, his head swung low toward the ground and his feet slid across the floor. Obi-wan just couldn't believe it "Gone…" he muttered to himself again as he turned the corner. He just couldn't believe that he was gone, he was his best friend and now he was gone. Obi-wan couldn't understand what had went so wrong and he didn't know if he wanted to understand.
The reality of what happened felt a train had hit him 'Force this is going to be hard' he thought as he made his way to Ahsoka's and Anakin's shared room. If he was taking this hard he couldn't imagine how Ahsoka was going to take the news.
Obi-wan arrived at the door and raised a shaking hand he knocked on the door. Seconds past which felt like an eternity, he felt like a complete failure, a failure not only as a friend but as a former master. Obi-wan then hurled foot steps from the other side of the door and a eager voice say "Coming."
Ahsoka hadn't seen her master in a couple of months and she was so excited when she heard that Master Kanobi was returning to Corusant because that meant her master was with him. She practically ran toward the door when she heard a knock and pressed the button opening it. "Master Kanobi its good to see you" she said with a warm cheery smile.
Obi-wan looked down at the smiling face of Ahsoka, she was so excited and happy. 'Can I really do this, can I bring myself to tell her that it's my fault that he is gone?' he thought to himself. Obi-wan then felt dizzy and he knew exactly why, it was the thought of telling a padawan that their master wasn't coming back, and that it was his fault. "A-ahsoka can I speak to you for a moment…" he asked then immediately regretted his decision about being the one to come and tell her.
Ahsoka looked in to Obi-wan's eyes, they were usually light and full of energy and had enthusiasm in them but they were dull and full of sorrow. It looked like the man had not slept in several days in facts, he had bags under his eyes and his shoulders were slumped down low. This was definitely not like the Master Kanobi she knew, something much be horribly wrong.
Ahsoka stepped back inside of the room let the older Jedi inside, the door slid shut behind him. "Master, where's Anakin…" Ahsoka asked cautiously. Obi-wan flinched at the when she mentioned Anakin, instead of answering he walked over with weary legs and sat down in the nearest chair.
Ahsoka's blue eyes followed the other Jedi to a chair and watched as he sat down. The fact that he hadn't answered her questioned told her that something had happened. "Is everything alright Master?" Ahsoka asked walking carefully up to the man.
Obi-wan managed a sigh and he not dare look up as tears began to form in the corner of his eyes again. He carefully reached down toward his belt and unclipped a lightsaber from it. It wasn't his, but he had trained the person who carried it, who wielded it…but now no longer. His hand ran over the saber as if trying to feel for the presence of the person who once wielded this saber, trying to convince himself that he wasn't gone.
Ahsoka looked down and realized that Obi-wan was holding a lightsaber, not his lightsaber, no. It was her master's lightsaber, the question was why did Obi-wan have it and not Anakin. Then the realization sunk in but she couldn't bring herself to accept it. "He's gone…" Obi-wan said in a weak and tired voice.
Ahsoka closed her eyes searching for any sign from Obi-wan that this was some stupid joke, a very cruel joke. But when she found non "What do you mean…he's gone…" she asked in a voice barley above a whisper afraid to ask.
Obi-wan felt a mixture of emotions from the young girl, he looked up at her as tears begin to roll down his eyes "I'm…so sorry" was all he could manage to say. He lifted the hilt of the saber toward Ahsoka "He would have wanted you to have this…" he said.
Ahsoka looked at the hand that held the saber at toward her, she chocked back her own tears "What happened…" she managed to say and reach out taking the saber from him.
Obi-wan closed his eyes again, he couldn't do it. It just couldn't bring himself to tell her that it was his fault that Anakin wasn't coming back. He was overcome with grief, he quietly stood up unable to meet Ahsoka's pleading gaze for answers and left the room without another word.
The door closed and Ahsoka hit her knees, tears slid down her face like a water fall crashing onto the floor. She clung to the saber with both hands and hand it pulled tightly against her chest. It just couldn't be true, he couldn't be gone he just couldn't be. But he was, the face Obi-wan had given her was all she needed to see and the lightsaber only confirmed his expression.
Ahsoka just didn't want to believe it, she just couldn't believe it. Her master was gone, she was alone now. He had fought and survived some much that he seemed invincible to her but the fact was that he was just a man. Her hands turned white from gripping the hilt so tightly and the tears continued to flow freely down her face. She knew he had gone on a dangerous mission, he had been on dangerous missions before and came back so what was different about this one.
Ahsoka knew that all her silent prayers wouldn't change the fact that he was gone, taken from her, stripped away from her life. Ahsoka tried, tried with all her might to fight back the tears, to be strong but her efforts were in vain as the turmoil she was in was just to great to bare. So instead so slumped to the floor still clutching the saber tightly to her chest and cried. Cried until there were no more tears, cried until she was emotionally drain, cried until she was physically drain. Until there was nothing left, then she cried herself to sleep.