Here Lies My Innocence
Gone... Forever gone and I killed her. I killed her with my own hands. I killed my child, my own flesh and blood within my wife along with her. She was the light of my life, the only reason I moved on every day, the only reason I put up with the Council. As I stand and watch her body solemnly being pulled through the streets of Naboo, I mourn.
There is no reason for her to be dead; she should be at my side now with our child in our lake house on Naboo. I killed her and my daughter. The Emperor had corrupted me in every fiber of my being. I know longer wanted this fate, I wanted to die and be with my mother, Padme and my unborn child. I wish I still had tear ducts, I wish I could show others how much it pains me to see my wife's final journey. She is dressed in the loveliest dress I had ever seen grace her body, her chocolate curls is spread around her angelic face, and Padme's hands grasp the necklace I had given her all those years ago on the Royal Cruiser. I can see the bump were my child now lies dead, the fabric made no attempt to hide her pregnancy like we had attempted to do for so many months.
Her mother and father dolefully walk behind her coffin with Padme's sister and nieces file behind them with much woe. The youthful Queen treads behind Padme's family looking every bit as regal as her three predecessors, not long ago was this Queen; Princess of Theed as Padme was. My dear friend Jar-Jar brings up the rear of the upper class. Padme's handmaidens act as pall-bearers to her ornately decorated coffin.
Padme will be buried on an island in the middle of the lake on which her lake house sits. The very place we had our first kiss, where we were married, and now where she shall rest forever with our child. Padme's burial is out of Naboo tradition as her mother's wishes. Normally a high ranking citizen such as Padme would have been cremated and her ashes spread over the Soulle River. Her mother wished to have some place to memorialize her heroic and ample daughter. Padme was a hero to her people; she saved them from the Trade Federation oppression in 32 B.B.Y. She had officially died at the hands of a Jedi at least that was the formal statement we had been given by the Emperor. Her family would never know the truth; they would never know what truly happened to her. The Emperor, in his attempt to be humane, issued a galactic day of mourning for Senator Amidala.
Padme's funeral procession makes its way to the dome where she will lie in state for three days before being taken to her burial site. No one speaks at her funeral, not even a eulogy is given. In Naboo tradition the funeral is a time for silent mourning. When Padme is buried she will have a memorial service at the Palace. The thought of her not being with her people in the rest of their days is unbearable. I cannot help but weep internally, my knees give out and I find myself looking a blue Naboo stone.
"Oh Force, how did this fate come to fall on my family?" I do not recognize my own voice, it is mechanical and dis-embodied.
"Perhaps you should have not given in to your hate." this voice is new and is carried on the wind; I turn to find no one there. I know it is Qui-Gon. He died here on Naboo, his ashes will be carried through the planet forever. He is right but I cannot change anything now I have chosen my fate; a life time in hell.
The people move out one by one after paying their respects to the hero of their planet, every single person present must do this. It takes them until almost dawn to file out of the dome. As the final person drags himself away from Padme I quickly make my way down to the dome. As I walk slowly into the magnificent temple all I can see if my beautiful wife lying in her coffin dead. She looks as if she is sleeping, peacefully resting; she has not looked this way since I first met her in Watto's shop. I place my gloved hand over her soft, fragile, hand gently, afraid that she might turn to dust. Her skin is cold, not warm as I fondly remember. The flowers in her hair remind me of the day we kissed first, and how happy I was, now I look upon those same flowers and I am sickened by the very thought of them lying in my dead wife's hair. All I want to do is wake her and take her away with me, some place safe. I move my hand to her stomach; it is firm with child, my daughter forever trapped in her womb.
I sit with her for a long time, gently stroking her face, as if she were alive again. I should have died on Mustafar; Obi-wan should have killed me and taken me out of my misery. I feel almost human again as I stare at my wife, but I am reminded of the children I murdered at the Temple and I realize I am not human.
"Padme, do not worry I will kill the Emeperor when the time is right I will kill him and put liberty back on the throne. I will make this better, forgive me please forgive me." I plead to her lifeless form. "Forgive me..."
I feel the presence of people approaching her corpse. I quickly shuffle to the shadows that still envelope the dome.
"I will see you soon" I mutter to her.
Padme is being laid to rest today. Her family comes to take her body to the island at dusk. I follow behind them in the shadows, using the force to cover my steps. When we reach the lake I silently descend into the water and swim next to the funeral procession. Twenty- Seven boats, one for every year of her life with candles line the path the boat takes to the island. We make it to the island quickly and the pallbearers pull her now covered casket out of the boat. The priest that married us is ready to oversee the burial, I can see sadness in his eyes, he knows what happened to her, and he knows the father of her child. The mourners mutter one last prayer for Padme as they lower her into the ground; her handmaidens shower her casket with flowers as her casket descends.
Her tomb stone reads,
"Here Lies Her Grace Senator Padme Nabriee Amidala
Former Queen Of Naboo
May Shiraya Keep Her In The Highest Place In Her Lunar Heaven"
That did not do justice to my wife. As soon as the last mourner leaves I hop up onto the island and fall to my knees where the fresh dirt covers my wife forever. I grip the dirt just as I had done to my mother's grave.
"I was not strong enough to save you Padme." That was all I said. I get up and drop a lotus onto Padme's grave. I look at her tomb stone once more and I leave. I will never return to that place as long as I live. I will become Vader no longer will I be Anakin. Anakin killed my wife and child. Vader tried to save her.
A/N: Please review and tell me what you think of the story!