Disclaimer: Not mines. Anything here mention by name isn't mines.

A/N: Yeah, the summary was inspired by As Told By Ginger's theme song. =p

I lean against the chain linked fence and take out a smoke as I watch the jocks warm up from behind the bleachers. Normally school not my thing but I decided to pop over for a visit today. I watch the jocks pass the football back and forth, tackle each other, playing Grab Ass, or doing stretches. Team Building as they call it.

I was never really into sports or athletics. I can play a mean game of mailbox baseball or even enjoy a game of basketball and I guess I have the body for it. I use to play sports a lot more when I was a kid. Even enjoyed going to gym, before my pop went from a weekend drinker to having four drinks per day. Before he take out his belt and give me lashes just for closing the door too loudly. I use to try my best to cover up all the bruises and change my clothes when I was sure no one else was in the locker room, even though they probably already knew it.

I see Lachance out on the field taking off his helmet and getting a drink from the water fountain. Denny Lachance, Castle Rock's best and brightest, the apple of his parents' eyes, man I fuckin' hate that guy. Having to listen to people put him on a fucking pedestal ("What I wouldn't give to be Denny Lachance, for like, a day"), hearing strangers—complete strangers—gossiping about how we should take after his led.

Everybody knows that kid is destined to go on to do bigger and better things, probably one of the few that has a chance of getting out of this place. Me? I'll end up a drunken loser like my old man, heading down to the local pub to down some drinks and beat my kids silly when I get home, or pull some stupid shit and land my ass up in prison with no chance of parole. I ain't college material.

Seeing him talking to his other jock friends and slapping each other on the back, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be him, to have people look at me with pride when I walk by instead of looking at me with disgust or pity. To have friends that care about you and not ditch you when you're caught red-handed. Sure I had my Cobras but how many of them were my actual friends and how many of them were people Ace thought were convenient enough to form a gang with? I often wonder how many of them would jump at the chance to take my spot in the gang.

I was Eyeball Chambers of the Cobras, Ace Merrill's right-hand guy, who wouldn't want to bump me off and take my place? Maybe Fuzzy, I always thought there was something funny about Fuzzy Brackowicz.

I wonder what it would feel like to have people up to me, be proud of what I do. I know Lachance's scrawny kid brother looks up to him. I've seen the two of them drive out of town to go fishing by the river or get a burger at the diner. Sometimes I wish my kid brother looked up to me and feel proud of my achievement. Whenever I try to talk him in our room about the car I boosted or the latest girl I went out with or how I once punched this guy out, he never seems interested.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to date a respectable girl instead of ones that were an easy fuck or ones that would slump it up with a Cobra and then pretend the whole thing never happen.

I take drag of my cigarette and blow out smoke as I watch Lachance and the jocks head to the locker room. Son of a bitch has no idea how lucky he has it.

I saw Richard Chambers leaning against the fence having a smoke behind the bleachers as we made our way to the locker room. Heard he goes by Eyeball now. I've seen him and his friends around town, smashing people's mailboxes, playing a game of pool, having a smoke in the school's parking lot. Heard they started calling themselves 'The Cobras.' Lots of people around town—teachers, neighbors, members of the church committee, shopkeepers—have ask me if I could talk to them, get them to stop being troublemakers.

Personally, I've always envied them. It must be nice to kick back sometimes. They might be troublemakers but they seem relaxed. Why wouldn't they, they could do what they like with their time.

I was Denny Lachance, the town's best and brightest, the apple of my parents' eyes. I heard people in hallway talk about me with such reverence ("What I wouldn't give to be Denny Lachance, for like, a day"). They don't realize they be better off not having my life. Coach in their ear yelling, "Faster! Harder! Hustle that ball Lachance!," girls who want me to be the perfect Prince Charming boyfriend, parents who can't have less than the best from me.

Even though I haven't graduated yet, my pop has already mapped out what my future going to be: I was to get into college on a football scholarship. There I would meet and marry girl, move to some upstate city, have kids, and become the breadwinner of my family. All while him and mom can retire in peace knowing that their son would proudly carryon the family name. The whole idea pisses me off; who was he to try and plan out everything for me? I knew he only wanted me to have a good future, but really?

Richard doesn't have to carry that kind of responsibility with him. He might not have much of a future planned, but his can be whatever he wants to be, if he put the effort in.

Seeing him and his friends, causing property damage and skipping school to do who knows what, I wonder what it would be like to be able to do whatever I wanted without fear of the consequences? There were times where I would see them, the Cobras, and complement asking them if I could join in on their fun but I have too much an image to uphold as the town's Golden Boy to maintain. Plus Gordie needs some kind of role model in his life.

Looking around at my teammates, I wonder many of them were my actual friends and how many of them are nothing more than members of my team. I get along everybody and we do sometimes do things together after school, but I often wonder how many of them would jump at the chance to take my place? Everybody knew I would get into college on a football scholarship and I bet any one of them would love to bump me off if they could get the scholarship instead,

Are we friends because we hang out, because we date a lot of the same girls, or because we happen to be at the same place at the same time? Or are we only pretending to be friends for appearance's sake?

I wonder what it would be like to have friends who don't care what you do, instead of seeing you as something to compete against and surpass.

Just before I pass through the double doors, I look one last time at the older Chambers boy and see him finish his cigarette before flicking the butt away and making his leave. Eyeball has no idea how lucky he has it.

The End.