Here you are again. What a handsome creature.
I love your hair tousled like this, running my fingers through and through.
How long has it been since that fateful day?
When I could have lost you forever?
Why do you look at me that way?
Your very presence enlightens me. Excites me. Frightens me!
I don't mean what I say. For how much longer am I supposed to keep up this façade with you? When will I break and show you every scar I've been hiding all this time?
You were never supposed to know the things you saw. And now you remember.
You remember your dominance over me in that intense heat:
Max, you frighten me!
I don't know why I'm here. Let me hold you and try to figure out why. I'm not happy. But I'm filled with some sick, twisted pleasure knowing that I can do what I've been wanting to do since… that dream.
They never found out. I never told them exactly what I dreamed about. And you don't judge me for it. Rather, you welcome it with open arms.
There's an amusing look on your face tonight. Now I'm smiling.
Let's try to be conflict-free this time around.
If you were Roxanne, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have with you, shirts off…
I still can't bring myself to imagine these actions with her.
I'm shot with ecstasy; I nearly jolt within the sheets.
But it's the same reaction I feel with everyone else…
You're really not all that different, but I am used to being the leader.
We're a couple of con men playing the game that God looks down upon with solemn disdain, but He still loves us.
That I'll never understand. Love the sinner even as he deliberately spits in the Lord's face as he hangs on his heavy cross…
I'm a coward. I refuse to carry my cross. I'm not strong enough.
Not strong enough…
Mother…
Now I'm kissing that sweet ebony flesh and I'm speaking your name. As usual you bite your tongue. Are you afraid to let the snake through? I can only rest my head in your chest for a minute. Our hearts are beating like jungle drums, rampant.
You know, with you I never feel the need to open up my Pandora's Box of black magic tricks. Perhaps some other time, when we're a little more mischievous than what we are now.
I want to scream. I want your name to shock the ceiling. You've told me not to love you endlessly. You tell me this is only lust.
What we're doing is so wrong, but it feels so good!
But what is it? Your body? Your scent? Is it the way you can switch from being gentle to insane at my slightest touch?
Even when we're sober. Just sitting next to each other. The conversations are never dull. You're like some hyperactive kid when you're around me. Why haven't I seen this side of you before?
Was I blinded by my obsession of winning? Am I still—?
I don't want to think of that right now… Leave me alone. Let me enjoy this.
We're close now. We've reached the home stretch.
I can't help but wonder… what would have happened.
What I could have prevented—if you were a woman.
I don't want to lose you. Let me die out knowing that this pleasure-filled train will lead to something good. Something wonderful.
I'm beginning to lie to myself again. I could never have you as my own.
You.
You…
You could never replace her.