Author's Note
To those of you returning to the fifth season of the 'Total Shuffled' series, welcome back! To those of you tuning in for the first time, hello! I sure have a treat of a season premiere prepared for all of you today, or what I hope is a treat at least. It should probably go without saying, but this is the direct sequel to 'Total Shuffled Revenge of the Island' and thus the seasons that came before it. In order to fully understand what's going on, I suggest you read the rest of the 'Shuffled' series first if you haven't already.
This is the penultimate season of the series, and the last one that directly features its first and second generation cast members. As such, you should expect this to be a finale of sorts to a good number of storylines. And I will state going forward that I do intend of writing Total Shuffled Pahkitew Island, as I've said previously I do not currently intend on covering the Shuffled equivalent The Ridonculous Race any time in the foreseeable future. Perhaps one day I'll get to it, but it won't be until I've gotten my life settled.
The pairings I intend on using this season will remain a secret for the time being, though mostly because I don't want to spoil the cast I've chosen quite yet. I will also note that I may be open to one or two other pairings if I see the support for them in the reviews. Not gonna tell what they are, though - I don't want to influence your desires like that.
The update schedule should remain the same as it has been since season two - expect an update every Friday afternoon or evening (EST). But, as I have said to no effect for some time now, this schedule is subject to change if and when I get a job.
For those of you waiting for a response to your last TSROTI review, I'll admit that I've been busy and haven't yet gotten the chance to decide what I want or need to answer yet. Please bare with me, I'll try and get to some of them tonight. Also, some of the most recent ones haven't yet shown up on the site, so hopefully that issue will yet again be resolved soon enough.
And lastly, as many of you may know by now, a TVTropes page for this series exists. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. Though it's only been a week in our world, over a year has passed in the Shuffledverse. What has changed with the characters we've all come to know and love? Shat has stayed the same? And what will this new season bring?
Read on, find out, and enjoy.
- Fangren
Episode 1 – Heroes vs Villains
The scene opened on a close-up of a manilla envelope being carried in the familiar black-skinned hand of Chef Hatchet. A loud crashing noise like a heavy door being shut opened in turn for a low but tense musical score which was quickly joined by a metallic clatter and a low murmur as a cut outward revealed the place as a prison corridor. Chef was being led by a mustachioed white male guard through grimy and trash-filled halls lined with darkened cells, and the shadowed men inside watched the passing visitor with interest.
"I'm innocent, I tell you! Innocent!" one of the inmates shouted, revealed to be the formerly escaped killer with a chainsaw and a hook last seen leaving the wreckage of a bus before the start of Total Drama World Tour. Chef and the guard ignored both him and the older, skinnier man sharing his cell who made kissy-face at them.
"The Crusty Cockroaches have a big lead over the Soiled Stinkbugs!" a familiar though muffled voice rang through the halls, causing Chef's brow to shoot up as the camera moved in front of him.
"Cram it, McLean!" another man said, descending into raucous laughter as Chef gave him an annoyed side-eye.
At last, the visitor came upon a special cell, one with reinforced glass walls, a mail slot in the door, an electronic lock, and a security camera watching the entrance. It seemed surprisingly well-furnished, sporting a curtain over the window to the outside, a pair of familiar bobbleheads on a shelf next to the toilet, and a pair of paintings along the back wall – the smaller depicting a familiar golden statuette; the larger depicting an aerial view of Wawanakwa Island.
"Ooh! Lightning slips past Jasmine!" the cell's white male inhabitant said, hunched over in front of the door and focused on something at his feet. "The heat is on! Yeah! Look at that!" The camera cut inside to show what he was watching – a stinkbug and a cockroach sitting almost motionless on the ground.
Chef's shadow fell over the bugs, prompting Chris McLean to stand back up. "Well, well, well," he said, hands on his hips as the camera behind him showed him standing proudly in his orange jumpsuit. "Look who finally came to visit me after a whole year," he said in annoyance.
"Come on, you've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste," Chef told him with mild annoyance of his own.
"Whatever," Chris said stubbornly, crossing his arms and looking away. "Think I'll stay right here. Got everything I need," he added brightly, "including Chef 2.0!" he said, holding up a nut with the vague shape of Chef's head, and an approximation of the man's face drawn on with black marker. "I made him from a cashew," Chris explained proudly.
The real Chef merely slid his envelope through the slot in the cell's glass door. "What's this?" Chris asked as he took it.
"Your contract!" Chef answered. "The producers have green lit another season! So?" he asked expectantly, the camera finally showing his face again. "You in?"
"It is ON!" the host answered excitedly, the light gleaming off his teeth.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(Fade to Episode)
xxx
The episode proper opened with a drumroll into a grandiose theme as the scene faded into a long-distance shot of Wawanakwa Island, the lake water glittering under the shining sun and a flock of geese flying in formation far in the background.
"Welcome, to Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris opened, the shot then cutting to him on the slightly-shabby Dock of Shame. "After my involuntary year-long 'vacation'," he explained with well-placed use of air quotes, "I really need to be in a familiar environment, surrounded by the people I love..." He put his hands together as he smiled at the camera for a moment, then adding "To hurt!" with a dark grin and a round of laughter. "It's a condition of my parole," he explained. "Except for the hurt part, heh, that's all McLean!" he said, pointing at himself proudly.
He talked left towards the end of the dock, picking up a certain briefcase from where it was sitting as he passed it by. "So, I'm bringing back fourteen TD All-Stars to battle it out in the most dangerous, death-defying," he held up the briefcase and opened it up for the camera to get a close-up of the prize money within, "one million dollar competition ev-er!" The sound of a helicopter approaching preceded the wind kicked up by its arrival overhead, a few stray notes of prize money blown away before the shot cut back outward and the host closed the case. "And here they are now!" he said, looking upward expectantly.
The shot cut up to a double-rotor helicopter as it descended a few feet. "From Revenge of the Island, say hello to cranky goth Gwen," the host said, the camera cutting in closer as the helicopter door slid open to reveal The Goth, looking rather startled. As pale white as ever despite her usual black and teal outfit, she was promptly shoved out of the helicopter by an arm belonging to Chef Hatchet.
"This isn't what I signed up foooooooorrrr!" Gwen screamed as she fell through the open air.
"Gwen's bestie-turned-bossy-backstabber, Courtney!" Chris said next, the shot cutting first to him and then back to the open helicopter to show Chef – wearing his old drill sergeant's uniform – holding The Control Freak upside-down by a single leg, the young Hispanic woman dressed in her usual classy-yet-casual grays and browns, her arms crossed in outrage.
"I didn't intend to stab her in the baaaaaaaack!" Courtney yelled out her correction as she was dropped, and Chef stepped back into the hold.
The next to step up to the open doorway was The Outback Girl, her black skin contrasting with her usual light khakis, hunched over both in worry and to accommodate her great height. "Australian powerhouse, Jasmine!" Chris announced.
"Well at least we aren't being blown up this time...," Jasmine said warily, holding her slouch hat onto her head before starting to jump, only to get kicked out of her diving position by Chef in mid-air. She flailed her arms in surprise, and screamed "Whoaaaaaa!" as she fell uncontrollably.
"Scheming master of sarcasm, Noah!" the host said next, the camera cutting from him up to a young Indian man, the previous season's winner, being held out by the scruff of his collar by Chef.
"Gee, thanks for introduction, McLean!" The Schemer, dressed as dorkily as ever in his red sweater-vest and teal shirt, yelled down at the host before he was casually tossed into the air. As he screamed, Chef retreated back into the helicopter once more.
Again, he reappeared after only moment – though this time he was smiling bashfully and motioning a tall and incredibly handsome young Hawaiian man to the exit. "Professional man-candy with a rotten center, Justin!" Chris introduced next, causing the camera to zoom in on The Eye Candy who winked and smiled at it, the sun gleaming off his pearly white teeth.
"Thanks for the ride, Chef," he told the older man with a short wave before swan-diving out of the helicopter.
"Lovesick uber-geek, Harold!" the host said next as Chef turned around, then forced The Dweeb to the open doorway by his arm.
"I'm over that already, gosh!" Harold complained, adjusting his thick glasses before being unceremoniously thrown from the helicopter by a grumpy-looking Chef. The dweeb began to scream, his dark red mullet streaming behind him as he fell.
"And screwball thrill-seeker, Izzy!" Chris introduced next, the shot cutting back to him. "Who became a multi-armed mutant after spending a little too much time in the toxic waste last season."
The camera cut back to the helicopter as the fair-skinned redhead leapfrogged over Chef and out into the open air. Her arms and legs spread wide, the Wild Child cackled and sprouted two more pairs of arms as she fell...and belly-flopped onto the surface of the lake, startling her compatriots who watched her sink below the water in stunned silence.
The almost reverent tune that had been playing finally drew to its conclusion as Chris laughed, and turned into something darker but more muted as he resumed his introductions. "And, from our original cast, athletically gifted chronic loser, Lightning!"
"Alright, back in the game!" The Athletic Overachiever said, pumping a fist excitedly as he stood with Chef in the open doorway, the white lightning bolt that had been burned into his hair two seasons ago still quite visible. "Sha-Lightning!" he said as he began his dive, before Chef shoved the younger black man in mid-jump much as he had shoved Jasmine.
"Zombie-obsessed outdoorsman-turned-monster hunter, Shawn!" Chris said as his assistant turned around and dragged The Zombie Conspiracy Nut to the fore.
"Uhh, you checked the island for the undead, right?" he asked the hulking man, the hair under his knit cap now the same length it had been before he'd lost it in the first season. Chef just glared at him, then tossed him out of the helicopter by his orange safety vest. "I didn't think soooooooo!" Shawn screamed as he fell, the camera following him rather than lingering on the helicopter.
"Stinking saboteur, Scott!" the host said next, the shot once again cutting to him briefly before cutting back to the camper in question – though this time they were already in mid-fall.
"Hey, I do not stink!" The Devious griped, as red-haired and freckled as ever, before immediately raising his arm and smelling his arm pit.
"Multi-talented mastermind, Alejandro!" was introduced next as Scott fell out of view of the camera and The Arch-Villain fell into it.
"I despise you, McLean!" the handsome Peruvian boy shouted angrily as he fell out of sight.
"Singing sweetheart, Ella!" came next, the half-Chinese young woman still dressed in a pink, princess-like ensemble falling with her arms outstretched and a happy smile on her face.
Four small birds of different colors suddenly flew up and grabbed her by the arms. "Oh thank you little ones!" The Fairytale Princess told them sweetly as they slowed her descent.
The shot cut back to Chris as he said "Ruthless pageant star Sugar, whose crappy-I mean craptry," he quickly corrected, "singing is almost as memorable as her attitude."
"Woo-hoo! Cannon baaaaaaall!" The Pageant Queen shouted excitedly in her Southern US accent as she jumped from the helicopter with her legs curled up and her knees held close. The shot cut down to the water as the previously introduced contestants looked up in shock, then hurriedly swam away before the fat blonde cannonballed into the lake. The towering splash she made was shown from a camera behind Chris.
"Aaaand," the host continued with a hint of mischief, "mutant monster Staci!" The shot cut up to Chef holding on to The Werewolf by the scruff of her furry neck, her dark pink clothes looking surprisingly new despite her still being a mutant.
"I...guess I'm in the competition again?" she said, partly hopeful and partly wary as she fell, the campers below gasping in shock – except for Izzy, who gasped in delight.
It was her wariness that proved to be justified as Chris laughed, and a toilet plunger on a rope suddenly stuck onto the girl's front. "Kidding!" the host called out mockingly before the rope retracted. The camera cut to him to reveal that he was holding a fairly large gun which the plunger was pulled into. "No way is she coming back again," he said with a dark grin before firing a shocked and almost heartbroken Staci off into the distance.
"The actual fourteenth cast member is none other than homicidal ratings-booster, Scarlett!" Chris said quickly, a dark riff playing as Scarlett was shown getting booted out of the helicopter, still strapped to a hand truck with a mask over her mouth.
"You'll pay for this, Chris!" she yelled as she fell, the camera cutting down to the water once again as the campers all gasped in horror.
The Evil Genius slipped into the lake with minimal splash, and her fellow campers did nothing but stare at where she'd landed.
"Uhh, are you sure we can't have Staci instead?" Shawn asked the host after a second.
Chris sighed happily, ignoring the request. "Man, it's great to be back!"
/
The footage skipped ahead to show all fourteen members of the new cast scattered on the beach, including the still-bound Scarlett. They were drenched and exhausted, with only Alejandro and Izzy still able to keep standing.
"Greetings, old friends," Chris told the coughing and groaning teens as he and Chef arrived.
Alejandro grunted in irritation and pried a clam off his arm. "We are not your amigos, amigo," he told the host.
"Now that's not fair," Ella told him with a smile as her sweet, jingling leitmotif played. "Nobody is your amigo, Al." She giggled as he scowled at her, then sniffed in disdain and turned away.
The camera stuck to Ella, though, as Lightning walked up to her, while brushing the sand off his jersey. "Uh, good hustle, girl, but you might wanna work on your smacktalk a bit," he told her, earning a blank look in return. "But anyway, you're datin' Tyler, right?"
"Well, we were for a while," she answered. "But we ended up realizing we worked better as friends. Oh, but we still see each other all the time!" she added happily.
"Cool, cool," Lightning nodded. "Where is he, anyway?" he asked after quickly looking around the beach. "Lightning was kinda hopin' he'd be here."
"Sorry Lightning," Ella frowned, "but I'm afraid poor Tyler is still in the hospital after getting run over by a zamboni when we went to practice skating at the indoor rink."
"Dang," the uber-jock said in surprise.
"Yes, it's quite tragic what happened to him," Ella said with a sad nod. "Luckily the zamboni driver was quite understanding about it and helped get him to the hospital."
The camera panned from them to Gwen and Jasmine, who were watching and listening with mild amusement. "I guess Trent decided not to come either, huh? You two still good?" the tallest girl asked, also after looking around a bit.
"Uh, yeah, pretty much," the goth answered somewhat bashfully. "I mean, it hasn't been as wonderful as I was hoping, especially since we don't live near each other, but we're making things work. And after what he ended up doing last season," Gwen continued, becoming for relaxed, "Trent didn't want anything to do with coming back."
"Fair enough," Jasmine nodded.
"What about Zoey?" Gwen asked. "I figured she'd jump at the chance to come back on the show."
"It's...a long story," Jasmine explained, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. "I'd rather not get in to it now."
"Does it have anything to do with those looks Harold keeps sending your way?" the goth asked with an inquisitive smirk, nodding her head to the side. The camera cut outward to show Harold looking at them from a ways away, the perspective inverting to show his quivering his lip. He finally closed his eyes and looked away, and the camera cut back to Jasmine doing the same.
"I'd...rather not talk about that, either," she said, standing up and walking away from a confused Gwen.
"Oooookay then?" the goth said, raising an eyebrow and looking back towards Harold.
xxx
Jasmine opened the season's first confessional with a sigh. "Okay, so I haven't actually spoken to Harold since last season," she told the outhouse camera. "Part of me knows I need to forgive him for causing my elimination, but I just...don't know what to even say to him after putting it off all this time."
xxx
The footage cut back to Chris, his hands behind his back as he looked over the beach with his usual smile. "I can see you've all gotten back on your feet," he said, the shot briefly cutting outward to show the campers watching him in various clusters among the rocks, "which means I get to announce all the big changes we've got for this season!" he said excitedly, spreading his arms wide. "For one, the island is now 100% toxic waste free."
"Aww, say it isn't so!" Izzy said, walking up to him with a dejected expression. "The toxic waste was half the fun of being out here!"
"Sorry to disappoint you," Chris told her. "But on the upside, I've upgraded your accommodations." The shot cut over to a widescreen television being wheeled over on a cart by the pony-tailed white girl intern that had worked the previous season. "This season, the losers still have to sleep in a stanky old cabin," Chris explained, walking over to the television as an image of a cabin identical to the ones used in previous seasons appeared on it, in the same position as the ones that had previously been allotted to the Screaming Gophers and the Mutant Maggots. The unseen cast groaned in disappointment.
"But, the winners," the host continued as the live cabin feed began to zoom out, slowly revealing a magnificently large building styled almost like a high-class bed-and-breakfast, "get to stay at the all-new, eco-friendly, McLean Spa Hotel!" he finished as the music rose grandly, then faded into an angelic chorus as the shot cut to Shawn, Harold, Scott, and Sugar beginning to smile. "Complete with butler, hot tub, and 24-hour masseuse," Chris said, provoking delighted cheers from the campers both on and off the screen.
"And in honor of your All-Star status," the host continued once the celebration had died down, "I'm dividing you into teams based on your past performances: Heroes, versus Villains!"
xxx
"Obviously," Scarlett told the camera smugly despite her bondage, "I'll be on the villains team. I am the biggest threat this show has ever seen, after all." She laughed evilly.
xxx
"Man, heroes versus villains? Didn't see that sha-comin'." Lightning told the outhouse confessional, crossing his arms and frowning. "Guess Lightning's gonna get stuck as a sha-villain then...," he shrugged in bland acceptance.
xxx
"Alejandro," Chris said over a shot of the smirking charmer. "Sugar." The shot cut to the smiling pageant star. "Courtney." The ex-CIT pursed her lips in annoyance. "Noah." The bored slacker blinked. "Scott." The dirt-farmer grinned darkly. "Justin," the male model admired his reflection in a hand mirror, "and Scarlett." The camera zoomed out to show Chef wheeling the evil genius over to the other six. "From now on, you're the Villainous Vultures!" the host announced, a slightly dark tune rising up as a circular logo depicting a pale red vulture head spun onto the screen above them.
"Awesome!" Sugar said in excitement.
"Meh," Noah shrugged in response.
xxx
"I'm not surprised," Noah confessed. "I don't like it, but I already made peace with getting the villain treatment after the last competition. Beside," he cracked a dry smile, "it's not like we have to take it seriously."
xxx
"Gwen, Jasmine," the two girls shared a smiling look, "Izzy," the wild child raised four arms as if in victory, "Harold," the alpha nerd pumped his fist, "Shawn, Ella," the survivalist and singer each smiled, "and Lightning," the confused uber-jock was pushed over to them by Chef, "you're the Heroic Hamsters!" A grand theme played as the second team's logo spun into view overhead, depicting a golden yellow hamster with a halo.
"Hamsters?" Harold questioned. "How are they heroic?"
"It was that, or the Heroic Hippos," Chris explained.
"Really?" the dweeb asked in an incredulous tone. "Couldn't you have gone with hawks instead? Ooh, or how about the Heroic Horses!"
"Yeah, you're still gonna be hamsters," Chris told him in annoyance. "Any other questions?"
Lightning immediately raised his hand. "Uhh, sorry, but why is Lightning on the heroes? He thought that after everything he did, he woulda been on the villains!"
"Good point, Lightning," Chris told him with a point and a smile. "See, while your actions haven't strictly been of a heroic nature, you are the only person in the show's history to have been eliminated four times. And considering that you're also an athlete, a losing streak of that magnitude affords you underdog status. And according to every sports movie ever made, athletic underdogs are always the hero," he explained matter-of-factly.
A flat note played as the Heroic Hamsters were shown looking at him blankly, and the shot cut in to Lightning's close-up as he raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Uhh, are you for real?" he asked. "Cause dude, that reason sounds super sha-dumb. Why is Lightning really on the hero team?"
"Okay, fine," Chris admitted with an annoyed scowl. "The producers wanted a jock on the heroes, but Tyler was in the hospital and Jo was busy following some stupid 'dream' of hers," he rolled his eyes as he made the air quotes, "so we had to make do with you. Happy?"
"Not really," Lightning answered. "That's even worse than the underdog thing! Lightning does not wanna be a third choice," he said, crossing his arms in protest.
"Yeah, well, deal with it," Chris told him.
"Don't worry," Ella told her new teammate, putting a hand on his arm, "I'm sure we'll all make you feel right at home!"
"Yeah, heroism takes some getting used to," Shawn added, "but you'll get the hang of it."
"Uhh...okay?" Lightning replied, still slightly confused. "Lightning's just gonna give it a hundred-and-ten percent like always then."
"Woo hoo! Welcome to the Hamster Crew, population seven!" Izzy greeted with a cheer, dashing over and jumping on the jock's shoulders.
Shawn and Lightning and Ella just shared a slightly wary, slightly amused look.
xxx
"Yeah, something tells me this season's gonna be a whole lot weirder than usual," Shawn told the outhouse camera.
xxx
"This year's challenges all nod to classics from the past," Chris explained, the static cutting away to him standing with his hand on the widescreen. "But, with harsh new twists to make this the toughest Total Drama season ev-er! Your first challenge?" he said, motioning to the television as the spa hotel appeared on its screen. "Find the key to the Spa Hotel. And, you'll do it in an homage to Total Drama's first ever challenge," the shot of the hotel was replaced by a shot of the island's thousand-foot cliff, "cliff-diving into water infested with ravenous sharks."
The camera cut to Noah, Scott, and Sugar as the farmer rolled his eyes and spluttered dismissively.
xxx
"Oh please, this is gonna be as easy now as it was back then," Scott told the confessional camera. "I mean come on, it's just a bunch of sharks! The ones around here are practically pushovers."
xxx
"Once you dive into the water," Chris said over a close-up of the television, now playing a clip of Chef kicking some light-skinned male intern wearing a red tanktop and cowboy hat off the cliff, "try to avoid the sharks long enough to snag a key." The intern was shown landing in the shark-infested lake, and one of the predators leaped at him before the camera cut to the lake bed that had been littered with keys of all shapes, sizes, and colors. "And, choose wisely," Chris said as the intern was pushed down towards the sandy bottom as he struggled to keep a shark from swallowing him, "only one of those suckers is the real deal." The camera panned closely across the keys, then cut back to the surface as two sharks emerged and happily high-finned. "Assuming you live long enough to make it to dry land," the scratched and battered intern trudged up the beach with a key in his hand, "a teammate will drive you to the hotel," the intern collapsed into a golden yellow baby carriage which was promptly pushed away by the long-banged intern who had worked the previous season, "in one of the baby carriages from season three's race through Central Park," the host finished as the camera finally panned away from the television and back on to him.
He then walked over to a jeep driven by the fat male intern. "First team to unlock the spa door wins. And, someone from team loser will be going home tonight," he added as he hopped onboard the jeep. "Meet me at the face of the cliff in fifteen minutes," he told the campers. "Chop. Chop." He sat down and clapped his hands with a demanding smugness, and the jeep drove off.
"Wait, shouldn't we change into our swimsuits first?" Justin called out as the host left.
"Sorry," Chris replied from some distance off-camera, "no time!"
/
The scene flashed to a slightly closer shot of the thousand-foot cliff, the camera panning down and to the left to the nearby forest.
"Uggh," Scott griped over the squeaking of wheels, "why do I have to push the luggage?" The camera cut to the Villainous Vultures walking single-file through the woods, with Scott pushing a rather annoyed-looking Scarlett at the back of the pack.
"Because," Noah smirked to himself in front of the two, "the rest of us were smart enough to get out of it."
Scott just sneered, and the camera panned to the right past Alejandro, Sugar, Justin, and Courtney on to the Heroic Hamsters. In the back were Gwen and Harold, with Shawn and Jasmine in front of them, then Izzy, Ella, and Lightning in the lead.
"So, uh," Jasmine looked down at her fellow survivalist, "nice seeing you again, Shawn. How's the monster hunting business?"
"Zombie hunting," Shawn corrected, "and it's going...uh, not as well as I hoped," he admitted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "Turns out there's not as big a market for freelance zombie-hunting as you'd think."
"Really? Didn't you have that big job out in Manitoba a few months back?" Jasmine asked.
"Yeah, but that just turned out to be a bunch of college kids playing an elaborate prank," Shawn said. "Honestly," he shook his head in disappointment, "people like that only make preparing for the undead apocalypse that much more difficult."
"Well at least you got like a hundred thousand dollars out of it, right?" Jasmine asked him.
"True," he nodded before frowning in thought.
xxx
"Huh," he told the outhouse camera, rubbing his chin in confusion, "I didn't think the details of the Manitoba incident were public knowledge." He shrugged. "Oh well, there was probably a story about it in some newspaper. But hey," he smiled, "how cool is it that Jasmine's interested in what I do? Most girls just think I'm weird."
xxx
A low and slow tune started playing as the footage cut back to the villains, with Alejandro knocking into Sugar as he passed her with a haughty expression. "Excuse me," he told her unapologetically.
"You better watch it, mister!" Sugar told him, punching her open hand in a threatening manner.
"And so should you," Alejandro replied, unimpressed.
"Hey, you guys know that we're supposed to fight the other team, right?" Noah asked them as the camera panned back to him. "So how about we put the plotting and scheming on hold, ignore the 'villain' thing, and try some teamwork instead?"
His teammates immediately voiced their agreement, but their tones ranged from blatant lying to outright mockery.
xxx
Alejandro laughed. "Please, as though that could ever happen. Who-"
xxx
"-could ever-" Sugar said, the scene cutting to her confessional in mid-sentence.
xxx
"-trust anyone-" Scott followed up.
xxx
"-on this ridiculous-" Courtney said next.
xxx
"-treacherous, and-" Scarlett said through her mask.
xxx
"-evil team," Justin finished.
xxx
"Yeah, that went about as well as I was expecting it to," Noah told the camera dully.
His confessional feed shrunk as the screen split into nine, Noah staring at the camera in the center with empty blackness above and below, and his teammates – Alejandro, Courtney, and Scott in the left column; Sugar, Justin, and Scarlett in the right – looking towards him and laughing evilly against a fiery background.
xxx
The footage cut over to a close-up of Gwen as she looked back over her shoulder and glared at Courtney. The ex-CIT murmurer in annoyance, and the camera panned slightly to the left to include Justin as she told him "Gwen keeps glaring at me like she wants to set me on fire."
"Can you really blame her?" Justin asked. "I mean, you did get her voted out last year."
"Not intentionally!" Courtney hissed angrily.
"That hardly matters to people like her," Alejandro interrupted, walking up next to Justin. "Some people just can't accept that they're threats who others should want to deal with!"
"So true, man," Justin said. "You should listen to this guy, Courtney," the male model turned and told the young woman in front of him. "He knows a lot about how this game works."
"Gracias, amigo," Alejandro smiled, earning an eyeroll from the aggravated ex-CIT.
xxx
"Why would I listen to Alejandro," Courtney asked the confessional camera, "it's not like he's ever done much better in this game than I did. Besides, I don't need any help," she said before looking down sadly, "not even with Gwen..."
xxx
The shot cut to Gwen again as she turned her head back forward and softened her gaze. "Still mad at Courtney, huh?" Harold asked as the camera zoomed out slightly. "It's a little surprising, if you ask me."
"Yeah, well, it's not like she hasn't made it easy," Gwen told him. "Not once has she tried to apologize to me! And, like, I get that Trent and I were kind of a threat, but Courtney was supposed to be my friend. She could have at least waited to vote me out until later!"
Harold nodded in understanding. "I guess it just goes to show how much she really thought of you."
"I guess," Gwen sighed, the camera panning back on to Courtney to show her scowling.
/
The footage skipped ahead to the two teams lined up at the beach, the Vultures on the left and the Hamsters on the right. Baby carriages in their respective team colors sat in the gap between, and their team logos briefly spun into place overhead.
A laugh from the host led the camera to cut to a path of sky just before he descended into it on his jetpack, a triumphant theme playing upon his arrival. "Greetings, All-Stars!" he said, his jetpack kicking up a large amount of sand into the faces of the closest members of the two teams, forcing them to hack and cough and throw their arms up in a useless show of defense.
Chris landed on the beach between the two carriages. "Here are your carriages," he told the campers as the music became slow and plodding, "blood red for the Villainous Vultures," the shot zoomed in on the left carriage before panning to the right one, "and purest gold for the Heroic Hamsters. You've got thirty seconds to pick you carriage drivers," he explained, "starting...NOW!"
"I'll drive!" Sugar immediately volunteered over a close-up of her hands grabbing the carriage handle.
"No, I'll drive," Justin countered, chuckling in an almost condescending manner as he grabbed on to the carriage handle next to Sugar.
The camera zoomed out to show them locking eyes, Sugar's glaring and Justin's calm. "Now listen here, mister new guy," Sugar said angrily, "I already jumped offa that there cliff once, and if I got a choice I ain't about to do it again! Especially since I only just got my hair dry from before!"
Justin chuckled again. "True, but which do you really think is more important," he asked, "keeping you dry, or keeping this," he tore off his shirt, the camera immediately zooming in and following his hand across his glistening, muscular chest as his dreamy leitmotif played, "out of harm's way?"
Another zoom out showed Sugar staring in awe at the male model's chest. "Wow...," Justin flexed his pecs and Sugar reached out to touch them in a daze...only to have Alejandro suddenly step between them, halting the model's background music.
"No no no," he said quickly, separating the two from each other and the carriage and putting his hands on Justin's shoulder. "Listen, amigo, I understand your desire to avoid the sharks, but men like us are much more suited to diving. Besides, I saw you last season, and you are not in any danger."
"You really think so?" Justin asked.
"Absolutely," Alejandro nodded. "Us beautiful men should stick together, after all."
"Definitely," Justin agreed. "Okay Sugar," he leaned to the side and told the pageant queen, the camera pulling back to show her still watching him with a dreamy expression, "you can drive."
Sugar shook away her awe and grabbed the carriage as though she'd never been distracted at all. "Darn tootin'," she said with a decisive nod.
xxx
"Working with Alejandro is actually something I'm looking forward to," Justin explained in the outhouse confessional, "since he's kind of a pioneer in the whole 'hot guy seduces people to get ahead in the game' thing. Of course, I'm way better-looking than he is, but I never got a hang of strategy last time so hopefully I can pick up some tips from him. Then once he least expects it I'll totally vote him out. It'll be like...the student becoming the master," he said after a moment of thought.
xxx
Alejandro was shaking his head and chuckling softly as the next confessional. "Justin reminds me of a younger, much less attractive, and much, much, much stupider Alejandro. I'll use him for a few votes, then eliminate him right before he inevitably tries to betray me using the strategies I taught him."
xxx
"Ten seconds!" Chris told the Hamsters, who were still looking at one another expectantly as a low trilling tune played in the background.
"Uhh," Lightning said, looking around at his teammates, "Lightning was gonna wait and see if anyone else was gonna step up 'cause he'd rather dive, but that hasn't happened so...he's gonna go ahead and sha-volunteer." He promptly stepped over and grabbed the golden carriage as the other heroes murmured their general agreement.
"Okay," Chris said as the camera zoomed out to show him and the two chosen carriage-drivers, "everyone but Sugar and Lightning, up the cliff you go."
/
The scene cut to a shot of the cliff, which zoomed in as the campers were heard panting. A cut to the very top showed Chris waiting patiently at the edge, and moments later Alejandro ran up and skid to a halt as a short Latin guitar riff played. "First, just like how I'll finish this season," he said confidently before the camera panned to the left, showing the other campers as they arrived behind him. Jasmine, Izzy, Courtney, and Scott were the closest and the latter two had doubled over to catch their breath; followed by Shawn, Gwen, Justin, and Ella all panting in near-exhaustion as well. Harold and Noah brought up the rear, with the schemer reluctantly pulling Scarlett's hand truck behind him. He fell to the the ground with a tired and aggravated groan, with another as his teammate fell on top of him.
An upward shot showed Izzy, Courtney, and Jasmine looking down over the edge of the cliff. The camera cut down to the water's surface as the massive mutant shark known as Fang surfaced with a wide and toothy grin, and he waved his fingers at the campers as a deep and dangerous tune rose in the background.
"Fang!" the three girls said together – Courtney in fear; Jasmine glaring in determination; and Izzy grinning eagerly and returning the shark's wave.
"Who?" Scott asked, looking out over the edge next to Izzy.
"Who's the best key spotter?" Chris asked the camera as it cut to him and a deep chanting note played. "And, who's dead in the shark-infested water? Find out, when we return, on Total!" The shot cut outward to show Jasmine, Courtney, Izzy, and Scott still looking out over the cliff's edge. "Drama!" Another outward cut showed Alejandro, Shawn, and Gwen standing to the host's other side. "All-Stars!"
(Fade to Commercial and Back)
"Places, people!" Chris called out to the cast as a slightly dramatic melody began to play. The six Heroic Hamster were shown looking towards the cliff edge with a mixture of confidence and worry, while the six Villainous Vultures looked largely unimpressed. "It's divin' time!" the host continued, laughing as a pair of non-mutant sharks were shown leaping out of the water in anticipation.
"Is anybody going to bother letting me out of this accursed thing?" Scarlett asked her teammates, struggling against her bonds as Noah held her hand truck steady.
"That depends," the slacker answered, "are you gonna try to kill any of us afterward?" Scarlett promptly scowled and stopped struggling.
"One diver, per team, at a time," Chris explained, holding up an airhorn as the music became tenser. "The next diver has to wait until their team's carriage returns. Ready? Set?"
He blew his horn, and Izzy and Courtney dashed towards the edge of the cliff and jumped off it, the mutant wild child with an excited "Woo-hoo-hoo!" and the ex-CIT with a flailing scream.
The camera quickly cut from Izzy's whooping dive to Fang and the other sharks waiting eagerly below and back again as she ended her cheers in favor of a grin. She suddenly sprouted another pair of arms, holding all four out in front of her to punch as she and Fang collided. They sank under the lake, and Courtney landed with a scream moments later.
A grand tune played as Izzy quickly surfaced with a golden clover-shaped key in her hand. "Yeah! It's time for the Izzy-key!" she said, the footage skipping ahead to her jumping and flipping into her team's carriage.
"Sha-score!" Lightning said excitedly, pumping a fist and running off with the carriage towed behind him.
"And the Heroes take the lead!" Chris announced over a shot of the two non-mutant sharks comforting a bruised Fang while Courtney swam past in the background.
She quickly got back to shore, ran over to her teammate, and hopped into the carriage. "Go! Go! Go!" she commanded Sugar.
"Hold your horses," Sugar snapped, raising her left foot and sticking a finger between it and her pink wedge sandal, "I gotta get a rock outta my shoe."
"Uggh, never mind," Courtney grunted in irritation as the triumphant music ended, "I'll do it."
Before she could get back out of the carriage, Chris arrived on his jetpack. "Up-up-up! No tradesies!" he told the girl. "Gotta stick to your designated driver."
"Fine," Courtney said, sitting back in resignation. "Uggh, just push!" she commanded her teammate, who casually flicked a small pebble away and lowered her foot.
"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time," Sugar said grumpily, grabbing the carriage handle in one hand and yanking it along behind her as she trudged forward with an abruptness that startled Courtney.
/
"Alright, freaky girl," Lightning told Izzy, the music tense and fast-paced as he pushed her through the forest, "let's grab ourselves a spa hotel. Sha-bam!"
"Sha-yeah!" Izzy said excitedly, throwing up two arms while a third held her key in her lap. "Hahaha...sha-yeah...," she laughed in an almost affectionate manner. "Hey, so, I totally always told myself that if I ever met you, I'd ask you what the deal with the 'sha' stuff is. So, like, what's the deal with the 'sha' stuff?"
"Uhhh...," Lightning replied, staring at her blankly with his mouth agape. "Actually, that's a sha-good question. It's just somethin' that comes sha-naturally to Lightning, so he's never really thought about it before."
"Oh, cool," Izzy nodded with interest, "I guess it's one of those, like, cool little quirks that people have, y'know? I'm thinking of getting one myself, like maybe something like...boom boom!" she said, abruptly splaying her hands as if to mime an explosion.
Lightning just gave her an amused smile. "Girl, you are some kinda strange, you know that?" he told her.
"Hahaha, I really am," Izzy laughed as the dramatic challenge music peaked and the camera cut to the spa hotel. A short pan showed Lightning and Izzy arriving, which was followed by a close-up of the lock as Izzy inserted the key she'd found and the background score became much quieter.
"Come on, Izzy key!" she said with a worried frown as the lock failed to turn, "Izzy is counting on you!"
"Aww, man!" Lightning exclaimed in annoyance as the music rose back up, walking up behind her with his arms crossed. "Don't tell me we got the wrong one!"
The shot cut to Sugar and Courtney arriving, and looking at Lightning and Izzy as they went back the opposite direction.
Courtney was shown quickly inserting her silver key as the music turned soft yet again, then throwing the key to the ground as it failed to open the door. "Aaagh, wrong key!" she said in frustration.
"Welp, great job girlie we're behind thanks to you," Sugar scolded her, earning an angry growl.
/
"Hey heartbreaker," Noah told Harold, the scene flashing to him approaching his former rival atop the cliff, "aren't you gonna try and talk to your girl?" He jerked a thumb to the side, and the camera panned over to show Jasmine standing a ways away, keeping watch at the edge of the cliff.
"She's not my girl, gosh," Harold objected as the focus returned to him and Noah. "I'm totally over her."
"Really," Noah said in dry disbelief.
"Okay, I'm mostly over her," Harold corrected with a hint of shame. "But don't tell her that, it'll just make things even worse. I wanna talk to her and be friends again, but I just don't know what to say!"
"Just go say hello, it can't be that hard," Noah said, pushing his fellow nerd in the survivalist's direction.
Harold stumbled over to her, but stopped himself just before colliding. "Uh, heh heh, hey Jasmine, what's up?" he asked with a sheepish smile.
Jasmine took one look at him, then immediately snapped her gaze back down the cliff. "Oh, uh, looks like Lightning and Izzy are back," she said with an awkward smile, "guess it's time for me to dive!" She quickly ran away from a startled Harold and dove off the cliff, a dramatic tune playing as the shot cut to the water. She plunged into it with her cheeks bulging and her hat held on to her head, then looked around and down and smiled at the sight of a bronze key sticking out of the sand. She picked it up and dodged a sudden bite from Fang, then the scene skipped ahead to show her running over to the Heroes' carriage as the music became tense again.
"Let's move!" she commanded, jumping in to the carriage after Izzy had hopped out and ran off. Although Lightning looked mildly annoyed at her tone, he still quickly pulled her away, the survivalist's long legs sticking out over the side and nearly touching the ground.
Sugar and Courtney arrived as soon as the Heroes left the screen. "Hurry up! They're still ahead of us!" the ex-CIT yelled, her driver already looking tired.
The shot cut to Alejandro smiling expectantly at the top of the cliff. "I'll take the next jump," he told Noah and Scott before running off and diving gracefully off the edge, a Latin riff playing as he did so. The challenge music resumed as he fell towards the lake with a confident grin, and he plunged in with barely a splash.
"What're the chances he stays down there?" Noah asked Scott, the two shown looking over the cliff's edge by a camera below them.
"Not good enough if you ask me," Scott replied.
Sure enough, the scene cut below the water to show Alejandro calmly brushing the noses of two apparently smitten sharks, then diving down to the lake bed. The next shot showed him surfacing with a golden key in hand, and a flash took the camera to Sugar and Courtney.
"You need to drive faster, Sugar," Courtney scolded. "I don't know where-"
"Excuse me, ladies," Alejandro interrupted, lifting the angry young woman from the carriage and setting her down gently, though taken aback, on the sand. "Now vámonos!" he said, sitting down and pointing dramatically in the direction they were to go."
"Yeah, yeah," Sugar said, still visibly tired as she began to pull the carriage back the way she'd came from. "I'll vamo your nos, just you wait," she added under her breath.
/
"Alright girl, how you feelin' ridin' the Lightning Express?" Lightning asked as he rapidly pushed the carriage carrying Jasmine down the forest path. "It's fast, right? It totally is. Lightning's gotta be the fastest baby-carriage-driver in the whole sha-game!"
"Uh...yeah," Jasmine said with a hint of wariness. "Look, don't take this the wrong way, but I know you've had trouble working as part of a team in the past, so you should know that kind of thing really isn't gonna do you any favors this season."
Lightning scowled at her. "Girl, Lightning already said he was gonna be givin' the hero thing a hundred-and-ten percent!"
The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of Jasmine's key being inserted into the lock. "This one's no good," the survivalist said after it failed to open up the lock, tossing it away as the camera zoomed out.
"Man, how hard is it to pick the right sha-key?" Lightning exclaimed in annoyance.
"Well it's not exactly a walk in the park," Jasmine shot back as she sat back down in the carriage, her long legs yet again sticking out over the side and nearly touching the ground.
"Sha-duh," Lightning replied, "you shouldn't be walkin' to it in the first place!" Jasmine just palmed her face.
xxx
"Yeah, it's safe to say I'm not happy having Lightning on my team," Jasmine confessed. "He's just so pig-headed and arrogant, it'll be tough to keep him under control."
xxx
A long, deep chant played as the scene cut back to the spa hotel, Sugar and Alejandro finally arriving. The shot cut in close to show Alejandro attempting to insert his key, while his driver's heavy pant could be heard from off-screen. "Aah, no!" he exclaimed in frustration as it failed to enter the lock. "It's too big, we have to go back!" He thrw his key down onto the porch, then dashed past Sugar and hopped into the carriage. "What are you waiting for?" he scolded Sugar as the challenge music resumed. "Push already!"
"I know, just let me catch my breath a bit!" Sugar complained as she walked over and grabbed the carriage handle.
/
The fast-paced music continued as the camera flashed back to the cliff top, showing the remaining campers lined up with Scott and Shawn waiting nearest to the edge. Gwen, who was standing right behind them, quickly glanced down to the shore – the shot cut down to show that not only had Lightning and Jasmine returned but, to the Heroes' annoyance, that Sugar and Alejandro had returned as well.
"Shawn, what are you waiting for?" the goth asked her teammate, who seemed to looking over the edge with a serious expression. "The villains are already back!"
"Just figuring out the sharks' swimming patterns," Shawn explained without taking his eyes off the water. "Gotta get the timing right."
"Pfft, whatever," Scott said, shoving the survivalist out of the way as he stepped past. "My team's here, that means I'm jumping."
He dived off the cliff with a confident smile, but it quickly turned into an odd, panicked, flailing cry as he saw what was waiting for him. The camera cut to water level as he splashed down, right in front of the two normal sharks who had stuck their heads out of the water with eager grins. He surfaced after a moment and spat out a mouthful of water, then looked with wide eyes from the sharks in front of him, then back to Fang who had surfaced behind him.
"Uh, nice sharks...," he said, raising his hands in a placating gesture.
"And that's why you figure out where the sharks are gonna be before you jump," Shawn said knowingly as the shot cut back to the top of the cliff.
"Are you gonna go, or what?" Gwen asked him in exasperation.
"Might as well," Shawn shrugged, running forward and jumping off the cliff feet-first. He landed in the water behind Scott, who was now swimming in fear away from the trio of sharks.
The shot quickly returned to the cliff, however, to focus on Noah, Justin, and Scarlett who were now watching from the edge of with the model casually keeping the hand truck upright with one hand.
"Are either of you going to bother to help him, or are we just going to content ourselves with a loss?" Scarlett asked.
"Nnnn...hate to say it, dude," Noah told the model, "but our murderous teammate has a point. Scott getting eaten isn't good in the short- or long-term."
Justin sighed and pushed Scarlett's hand truck into Noah's hands. "Fine, I'll help him," he said, taking off his shirt and leaning out over the edge. "Hey sharks! How do you like this for a distraction?" he called out, motioning to his chest and flashing a beautiful smile as the shot cut down to the lake. All three predators paused in their chase to look upwards, giving Scott the opportunity to dive underwater.
The shot cut back up to Noah and Scarlett, the latter staring at her unseen teammate in awe and lust. "The sharks shouldn't be able to see this display," Scarlett said in a strangely dreamy tone, "but I don't care..."
"And I shouldn't have to see this display," Noah said in dry disgust, "but here I am anyway."
/
"Let's ride, dude," Shawn told Lightning as he hopped into their team's golden carriage.
"Sha-boom, brother!" the uber-jock replied exuberantly as he pulled the carriage away.
Scott arrived seconds later, and jumped in to the vultures' red carriage while Sugar leaned against the handle in exhaustion. "I'm startin' to regret not divin'...," she panted.
"Yeah, so are the rest of us," Scott told her. "Now would you suck it up and get moving? I'm not exactly itching to get burned by another one of your bad decisions."
xxx
"Yeah, I'm still bitter about season three," Scott angrily explained to the outhouse camera.
xxx
The tense challenge music resumed yet again as the scene moved to the spa hotel, Shawn inserting his key and jiggling it around to no effect. "Aww, come on, seriously?" he said, taking the key out in disbelief.
"Man, Lightning shoulda let somebody else drive so he could dive," Lightning griped as Shawn returned to the carriage. "He woulda gotten the key on the first try!"
"If you say so," Shawn said as the two made their leave.
A second later, Scott and Sugar arrived on the scene. "Finally," the farmer said, disembarking and running off-screen with key in hand while his driver collapsed to her knees with an exhausted groan. She gave no reaction to her teammate's frustrated growl, or even to his return moments later. "False alarm," he said bitterly, "we gotta go back."
Sugar whimpered.
/
Justin and Gwen were the two standing at the cliff's edge as the scene flashed back. "Well, here goes nothing," the goth said nervously before jumping off with a scream.
"Come on, Sugar...," Justin said, still shirtless and with his gaze locked below. "We're falling even more behind than before!"
The camera cut to the water as Gwen, still screaming, landed in the middle of the three sharks. They quickly dived down as well, but she soon surfaced with a terrified look on her face. "Oh no, no no no no!" she said as she saw the fins circling her.
Moments later, Justin swan-dived into the lake behind her. She quickly looked his way, and the sharks paused their circling to follow suit. He emerged soon after and flipped his hair twice in quick succession to his usual dreamy leitmotif, leaving both fish and human struck with awe and lust.
"Yeah, you guys just...stay there and think about me," the model calmly told his current admirers, "I'll be right back."
He dove back into the water, and after a moment his theme music ended and Gwen shook herself out of her stupor. "Oh crap!" she exclaimed, diving into the water and in doing so earning the attention of the sharks again, who dove after her.
Justin was shown grabbing a large black key from the lake bed, then running over to his team's carriage. "Let's go, Sugar, we're in the lead!" he told his teammate, who giggled at the shirtless young man and pulled him away with what seemed to be renewed energy.
The camera panned over to the water as Gwen surfaced, her face slightly bruised and scratched and her clothes slightly torn, but with a key in her hand. She moaned.
/
A flash skipped the footage ahead to show Justin failing to open the spa hotel's door. "Okay, we seriously better not be doing this all day," he said as he ran back to Sugar and the carriage.
"I'll say," Sugar replied, getting the carriage moving again, "we're barely in the lead!"
As if on cue, Lightning ran past pushing the golden carriage and battered Gwen.
"Yeah, barely," Justin commented with wide, nervous eyes. Sugar huffed in annoyance.
xxx
"Sugar go fast, Sugar keep movin'," the pageant star said in a tone of mimicry, tilting her head to side to side in annoyance. "Can't they see that I'm tryin' my hardest out here? It ain't my fault the hotel is so far away from the cliff, and they all weigh so much!"
xxx
Back at the clifftop those who had already had a go at key-finding had regrouped with their teammates, but the scene focused on Ella and Harold as they stood closest to the edge with the other Heroes.
"I should probably jump next," Harold said. "I wouldn't want you to get eaten by those sharks."
"Thank you," Ella told him, "but I can't let you do that just for me. I think I can handle a few sharks."
"Oh, but I insist!" Harold replied. "It's the gentlemanly thing to do."
"No, I insist," Ella replied a little firmly. "I don't want to be a burden when I know I can do this."
"Uh, are you two gonna figure this out any time soon?" Shawn asked, the camera zooming out to show him, Jasmine, and Izzy. "Lightning's already back." He pointed down towards the shore.
"And so is Sugar," Courtney added quickly, the shot panning left to the villains. "Noah, you're up," she turned and told her teammate.
"Right," the slacker said, still holding on to Scarlett's hand truck. "But before I look death in the face, shouldn't we untie the Wicked Witch of the West first?" he asked, pointing at the evil genius.
"You just want to put off diving, don't you?" Scarlett immediately accused.
"Sending a woman into danger so you can get out of jumping? For shame," Alejandro told him.
"Yeah, because I'm totally optimistic about the chance she or they," he motioned to Harold and Ella, who seemed to have grown mildly annoyed while continuing to insist they be the next hero to jump, "have of ending it this round. I'm gonna jump anyway, but I'd rather be here to help out when Scarlett tastes freedom again in case we need an extra pair of hands."
"Are you insinuating I'll try to escape the moment I can?" Scarlett asked accusingly.
"Yes," Noah answered bluntly.
"...fair enough," Scarlett admitted.
"Listen, Noah," Alejandro said in a condescending tone, walking over to the younger villain and grabbing him by the arm, "you don't need to worry about Scarlett. The rest of us can handle her just fine without a scrawny thing like you around, so why don't you just jump already."
"Uggh, could you not treat me like a little kid?" Noah replied, pulling his arm free in anger and in doing so knocking in to Scarlett's hand truck, sending it rolling away towards the edge of the cliff to the villains' shock and a sharp rise in the background music's intensity.
"No no no...!" the brainiac repeated in growing fear as she rolled past the shocked heroes, and off the cliff. "CURSE YOU!" she screamed in anger as she plummeted downward, bouncing off a protruding rock and spinning into the lake. The shot immediately cut to the lake bed as the shark trio began to gnaw at Scarlett's bonds.
A close-up of the evil genius showed her eyes narrowing ferociously and turning red as she built up an angry growl, which hit its peak as she suddenly burst free of her thoroughly shark-chewed straps. Fang and his companions were taken aback by their prey's furious roar, which gave Scarlett the opening she needed to swipe a key from the sand and swim away.
xxx
"As much as I enjoy not being bound any longer, they will pay for that disgrace," Scarlett told the outhouse camera, her eyes glaring at the left wall as she rubbed her recently-freed wrists.
xxx
The static cut away to Scarlett surfacing with a key clenched in her fist, and the camera cut to Chris hovering in the air with his jetpack. "And the Villains regain the lead!" he called out. "How long will they hold it this time?"
"Better get going, then," Harold gulped before running towards the cliff edge and jumping off, leaving Ella to do no more than watch.
/
A flash skipped the scene ahead to Sugar running through the woods with Scarlett in their team's carriage. "Honestly wasn't expectin' you to help out," the pageant star said between heavy breaths.
"I'd rather not be on the losing team right now," Scarlett explained. "So I'd appreciate it if you'd hurry up."
"Well I've been tryin'," Sugar replied with brow furrowed in annoyance, "but I've been runnin' on whatever's less than empty for awhile now!"
"Feel the sha-burn!" the sudden cry of Lightning came from off-screen, shocking the two girls.
"Okay, maybe I got a little more left in the tank," Sugar said in a panic as she began to speed up.
The scene moved to the cabins as the Vultures arrived, Sugar seemingly moving forward on momentum alone. She crashed the carriage into the steps of the spa hotel, allowing Scarlett to use the impact to propel herself onto the front porch while Sugar slumped to her knees. Lightning and the Heroes' carriage slid to a stop a few feet away from her, and Harold eagerly jumped out with a confident grin on his face and a silver key clenched in his fist.
"Blast," Scarlett muttered as she frantically tried her key, only for it to fail. "Another dud!"
"Step aside," Harold told her, sliding onto the porch and knocking her away from the door. He inserted his key, and the music turned victorious as the door finally opened. "Yes! Awesome!" the dweeb cheered as Scarlett groaned in frustration.
"The door is open!" Chris announced, the shot zooming out to show him flying up over Sugar and Lightning. "The Hamsters win!"
"Sha-bam!" the uber-jock cheered, raising his arms in victory. Sugar just moaned and fell over onto her side.
/
A few deep notes were struck as the footage faded forward to a long-distance shot of the island at night, the moon bright in the sky and the light of the campfire shining across the lake.
"Welcome, to our first elimination ceremony," Chris said, the scene cutting to the firepit as a few more notes of the low and tense campfire theme began to play. The sinister logo of the Villainous Vultures spun into place in the top-right corner of the screen just above the host and his assistant, who had forsaken last season's hazmat suit in favor of his usual dull yellow-green outfit. The seven losers were seated together in the middle of the two row of log-seats, with Justin, Noah, and Courtney in the front row and Scarlett, Sugar, Scott, and Alejandro in the back. Interestingly, a tiered, high-walled seating area had been built along the left rock wall of the firepit, and the tops of few familiar heads could be seen looking out from them.
"How do you like the new Peanut Gallery, huh?" the host asked, the viewpoint shifting to get a better look at the boxed seating area. It had the logo of a peanut emblazoned on the front, but more importantly it currently housed the seven members of the Heroic Hamsters – Shawn, Jasmine, and Gwen in the top row; Lightning, Izzy, Ella,and Harold in the bottom. "Now winners can watch their opponents give someone the boot before they head to the spa hotel for a deluxe dinner!"
The seven Heroes cheered and exchanged high fives with one another at the good news. The seven Villains just made their annoyance known through grumbles or glares or general lack of enthusiasm.
"Before we start," Chris continued as another deep note played, "I need one winner to volunteer for a special reward!"
Lightning immediately skidded over to him with an expectant look. "Hah! Sha-Lightning!" he exclaimed, the shot briefly cutting over to show Jasmine frown in annoyance.
"Grrreat!" the host said. "Your reward is...spending the night in exile on Boney Island with all the hungry wild animals!"
"Tch, aww, how is that a reward?" Lightning asked in annoyance.
"Becaaaaau~use," Chris answered, taking out a familiar wooden carving of his own head, "there's a McLean Invincibility Statue hidden somewhere on Boney Island!" The music began to trill tensely, and the camera zoomed in on the invincibility statue. "Find it, and you're golden."
"Good to know," Shawn commented from the Peanut Gallery before the camera panned down to show Scott with a dark and eager smirk on his face.
"This year," the host continued as Lightning left the firepit under Chef's watchful eye, "you get to vote by placing an X," he made the shape in question with his pointer fingers before the camera cut over to the attentive villains, "on the 8 x 10 photo of the person you want to eliminate. Now, get voting," he commanded with a mild frown and a thumb over his shoulder.
/
One by one, the Villainous Vultures were shown casting their votes in the outhouse confessional in quick and silent succession. First Noah, then Courtney, then Justin, then Scott, then Alejandro, all five hiding the photo they'd chosen from the camera while they made their marks with a thick-tipped pen. Scarlett was the first to show her vote, slamming Sugar's photo against the wall with an evil smile and drawing a red X on it. Sugar was the last, nodding decisively as she crossed out Scarlett's.
/
"Okay," Chris said as the scene flashed back to him now holding a tray of six marshmallows, "the following people are safe. Courtney! Alejandro! Noah! Scott! And Justin!" One by one the villains happily and confidently caught the marshmallows as they were tossed at them, and all the while the trilling elimination theme began to build.
"Sugar, you're on the chopping block for your terrible driving skills," Chris explained as the shot cut to the two girls on the bottom. The pageant queen gaped in shock, then turned a glare towards Scarlett that was returned fully. "And Scarlett, you're on the chopping block because...well, you're Scarlett. I'd be more surprised if you didn't get any votes."
Scarlett sniffed in disdain. "Like I care. It's obvious who should go home after they cost the team the challenge," she said without taking her narrowed eyes of Sugar.
"And with six votes to one, the loser is...," Chris began as the music started to peak, the shot cutting from close-ups of Scarlett, then Sugar, then the final marshmallow. "Scarlett!"
"WHAT?!" the evil genius said, wide eyes snapping forward in shock as the one she'd voted for eagerly caught her marshmallow in her mouth. "Why?!"
"Well I know I voted for you because I wanted to be able to get to sleep tonight without having to worry about you plotting our dooms," Justin explained.
"I hope you enjoy your catapult ride," Alejandro taunted his fuming rival.
"Actually," Chris gleefully interjected, "this year, we've got a brand new elimination device!"
/
The scene transitioned by way of a screen rotation about a central vertical axis, putting the shot on the end of the Dock of Shame where a gigantic and rather stained toilet had been set up. Scarlett was already treading water in its bowl, with her former teammates and the host standing by while the series' sombre farewell theme began to play.
"Behold, the Flush of Shame!" Chris declared dramatically before adding "Patent pending."
Most of the remaining six villains recoiled in disgust, except for Scott who just shrugged, unimpressed.
"You all will rue the day you ever-!" Scarlett began to hiss before the host interrupted.
"Yeah yeah yeah, regret messing with you, pay dearly for the slight, blah blah blah whatever," Chris said in irritated disinterest before pressing the button on his remote control. The gargantuan toilet began to flush, and Scarlett screamed as she circled the drain and disappeared from sight. A massive back-flow shot out of the toilet like a fountain, but the host smugly opened an umbrella over his head allowing him to remain dry while the remaining villains were doused in toilet water to their vocal disgust.
Chris laughed as the series' dramatic capstone theme started up for its first time that season. "Who will be flushed into the history books next?" he asked the camera,tossing his umbrella away. "Find out next time, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"
As always, the camera jumped outward with each portion of the season's name, ending once more on a long-distance shot of the island under the clear summer night.
(Fade to Credits)
/
/
/
[Bonus Clip]
The scene faded into nothing but greenish-blue water and the sound of frantic swimming, until Scarlett rose to the surface squirting water from her mouth and gasping for breath. "I...I made it!" she said to herself, looking around the unknown and unseen landscape. "I'm alive, and more importantly, I'm free! Oh, those fools will regret the day they ever dared to cross me!" she said, donning an evil smirk and descending into an evil laugh.
Her mirth petered out upon finally noticing the sound of splashing nearby. She raised an eyebrow in confusion, and the camera zoomed out to reveal none other than Staci, swimming frantically in the same body of water a few feet away. "Staci? What are you doing here?" Scarlett asked in confusion, becoming aware that she was drifting along in a current and starting to swim to stay in place.
"I don't know," the wolfish girl whimpered. "I think I landed in a pipe or something and got flushed out here."
"I see...," Scarlett said, her lips curling back into an evil smile. "I don't suppose you'd..." She paused at the sound of crashing water and dropped her expression. "Actually, where are we anyway?"
She looked back over her shoulder, and Staci whimpered again as the camera zoomed out dramatically to show them approaching the edge of a massive waterfall. "How are we at Niagara Falls?!" she exclaimed, swimming even more frantically but drifting towards the edge with Staci all the same. The background music spiked dramatically as both girls moved closer and closer to the falls, and Scarlett yelled out "CURSE YOU, CHRIS MCLEEEEEEEEEEAN!" as she and Staci went over...
Author's Note - Post Script
Breathe in...breathe out...
I do believe I have a cast to explain. I know I've made a few...unusual choices, but bare with me. Here's what I was thinking on a case-by-case basis.
Alejandro and Sugar: Though not necessarily the most popular characters, they were each a primary antagonist at points in the original trilogy and were finalists in TSWT. It would be odd not to include either of them.
Scarlett: A little bit more controversial due to her nature and what she's done in the past, but it's hard to argue that she's one of the most notable villains of the series. And since I needed an easy and acceptable first boot anyway, Scarlett got to come back for a fourth season.
Scott: Despite never making the merge, he still feel he had a notable presence as a villain in both seasons he's played in. And because he's never done too well, there's still things I can do with his character.
Noah and Courtney: Easily the two top antagonists of the second generation, even if both have different motives than previous villains of the Shuffled series - especially Noah. I don't including either of them is objectionable.
Justin: Like Scott, he never made the merge yet still had a notable impact on the game. Admittedly he isn't the most outstanding villain, but he most definitely IS one. Plus, I've always wanted to write him and Alejandro in the same season, so there's that.
(Dis?)Honorable Mentions: Amy, while undoubtedly a villain, strikes me as an odd person to write without her twin around. Aside from a possible romance with Scott, I'm not entirely sure how to make her more than a less effective Heather. At any rate, I felt Sugar and Scarlett were better characters to include.
Topher, although someone I would like to write at some point without his arch-rival Sierra present, just wasn't enough of a Villain to displace Alejandro or Scott. And I just don't see how I could justify him as a hero, especially without Sierra to somehow portray as a villain. Sorry Topher fans, but it just wasn't his season. But I will promise that if another TD season gets made with returning characters, and I'm able to write the Shuffled equivalent of it, I will include then we come to Trent. I'll be honest, I was kind of surprised when so many reviewers latched on to the idea of him being a villain this season after his elimination in last, especially as I had been writing season four with the full expectation of justifying Noah/Courtney/Justin as the second gen villains. I can see where you're all coming from with Trent, but I must disagree - perhaps if it hadn't been a year in-story between seasons four and five, but as it is I just don't think Trent would either actively be holding a grudge against Harold, or looking for redemption. Especially with Gwen by his side. Sorry for disappointing some of you.
And now the Heroes...
Shawn and Jasmine: Why on Earth would I NOT include these two?
Harold: Between his status as a finalist and the loose end of his drama with Jasmine, he was a fairly easy choice to include.
Gwen: Like with Harold, she still has drama left to make use of in the form of a feud with Courtney. Plus, including her as a hero would be a neat little mirror to canon.
Izzy: Definitely one of my odder choices, and arguably the one I was flip-flopping the most on (members of the TD Writer's Forum should know that this is who I was asking for advice about a few weeks ago). Though largely neutral overall, Izzy has still done enough heroic deeds in her tenure last season, particularly in the finale. And speaking of, with Fang still around it should be natural to have his foil around as well - in fact, this is the reason I considered Izzy for this spot in the first place.
Ella: A much more natural choice than Izzy, but I know not everyone will be happy about it even if they understand why she's being included (looking at you, Shed). She won season three, and is undeniably a hero. And I definitely wanted at least one of the season three newbies to get on another season, even if it was the one who went all the way to the end. So while there were other good female choices for this slot, I figured Ella was the best one.
Lightning: I fully expect his placement as a hero will be the most controversial, as he's really not much of one. But he was at least developing in that direction by the end of World Tour. And perhaps more importantly, I just wanted to write him again. Putting him on the Villains would mean displacing either Alejandro or Scott, which I didn't want, but since I figured it would be okay to have a Hero who wasn't a Hero on the team, like Courtney in canon, Lightning would be a great fit. Hopefully you all find the notion of him as a Heroic Hamster as funny as I do.
Honorable Mentions: Tyler, for one. He's a jock, he's a World Tour newbie, and for a long time he was in Lightning's slot. But...I don't know, as lovable a doofus as he is, I just liked the idea of Lightning on the Heroes more. Like Topher, Tyler is definitely on the short list to return should the opportunity present itself in the future.
Jo as well. She's definitely an All-Star and definitely a Hero in this 'verse, but after TSA I just didn't know what else I could really do with her.
Zoey, though good friends with Jasmine and Harold and thus able to serve as a bridge between them, just wasn't able to make the cut. Jasmine and Gwen were absolutes, and having Izzy around would lead to more...variety in the possible plots, I suppose? And her role as a person wanting to help bring Jasmine and Harold back together could easily be taken by one of the other ...Trent, again. Granted, this was way early on in the planning stages not only of this season, but of last season as well - before I was even sure Harold was gonna make it to the finale. I did know that Trent and Gwen would likely hook up, meaning Trent in All-Stars was a good idea. But later...mmm, well, he could've worked, but the Harold-Jasmine drama felt more important to me. There just wasn't much reason to have Trent in the game. Again, sorry to disappoint some of you.
Well, I hope that you all understand some of what I was thinking of with this cast. I think it's safe to say these next dozen episodes are gonna be...interesting.
Let me know what you thought of the cast, the premiere, and the season itself, and I'll see you all next week.
- Fangren
Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants
Scarlett - (14th Place)