Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino.
Spoilers: Up to 193rd Night: Friend.
To the Sun for whom I reach
Once I heard your steps and I turned to see from where the shadow of your voice flowed to me, but I was met with cold silence.
Once I saw a flower blooming at my feet and I knelt to feel its rosy petals, but I was met with dry emptiness.
They said those were illusions.
Once I dreamt of a garden bathed in golden sun, which I had never seen before, and I raised my hand to reach for its warm rays, but I was being pulled slowly down into the mud and there was nothing I could do.
Once I dreamt of a meadow adorned with fragrant blossom, and you were there; I tried to catch a glimpse of your face, but the hands obstructing my view were not mine and suddenly the place was tainted with the metallic smell of blood.
They said those were only nightmares.
I thought I believed them, and yet I continued listening for the echo of your voice which resounded in my heart, and I kept caressing the ghostly outline of the flower which seemed so soft under my fingers.
And I don't know why.
Then I was swallowed by the darkness and I found my own death there, and I also found you.
You said you would wait for me, although I didn't know you.
You said you loved me, although I wasn't sure what that meant.
You said I was to reach for the sun, although my eyes hadn't ever seen it.
I withdrew my hand towards you, who had become my sun; you figure appeared blurry to my teary eyes when I said I loved you.
And I don't know why.
I don't know who you are.
I don't know who I am.
I know I miss you.
Your phantom dances among the Lotus flowers, your silent footsteps follow me wherever I go.
They said I wouldn't wake up again, and it felt all right; I hoped I – whoever "I" was – and you – whoever "you" were – could stay in our little garden forever – whatever that meant.
Still, I awoke, awoke to the burning feeling of longing, longing for you.
And I don't know why.
I finally saw the sun in its bright glory with my own eyes, but it was too late.
I thought I could live with my friend; he thought he could die with me, and the blossom around us was soaked in blood once more.
I had promised – or was it even me? – that I would come to you, so please wait a bit longer.
Because I will find you.
Perhaps my friend was right, and it would have been better if we had both died on that day; but when a shower of petals fell from the sky and behind it I saw your face like the sun, smiling at me, I suddenly knew I wanted to live.
That promise which survived death, I will fulfill it; I have to, despite no longer being the one you were waiting for.
For it does not change the fact that I miss you.
It will probably be even more painful when I find you, but…
…when I find you, maybe at least I will know why.
There's also a version of this story in a most beautiful language called Polish.
Please review, have a nice day :)