Between the beats

Verse: Mass Effect

Genre: Romance, hurt/comfort

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Garrus/FemShep

Song: Awakening by Aurora

Summary: There was so many things that Jane Shepard could do after her rebirth; sleeping was not one of those things but with some help maybe she can find her way back.

The gasps and pants escaped her lips and for a moment the world swam in and out of focus; but at the thought of seeing stars she screwed her eyes shut and slumped forward against the bag hang from bulk head above.

It had been nearly two months since she had be brought back to life and it had been nearly a week since she got a good nights sleep; she didn't those hours when she was knocked out, drugged or just plain blacked out from lack of sleep.

There had been a time back before she died that the moment her head hit the pillow she would be out for the count. Garrus had laughed when he pointed out the times he would all but break her door down just to get her to eat. A shuddering breath replaced her breath and she trapped her lip between her teeth and bit down hard.

It didn't help to revisit the what use to be's because she was never getting that back. She was never getting any of them back. Including, it seems, her chance at having a good nights sleep.

Straightening up Commander Jane Shepard waited for the pops and cracks her body made but the deafening silence was her reminder that her body wasn't as it once was. A sigh and she begins to unwind the wraps around her knuckles, choosing to ignore the new fissured scars that littered each hand.

It wasn't even that her body was out of synch; in fact she had never been more in-tuned with her body and it needs, a feeling of heat across her cheeks knowing just who she wanted. Tossing the wraps away she glanced around the training room, it was a mockery of what she remembered, the hours spent laughing with Ashley and Liara as Garrus and Wrex postured against each other.

She stomped away from the memories; the ghost of laughter haunting her.

The ship hummed some alien song; despite the late hour she could hear mummers and short laughs. A few crew glancing at her but not approaching. What could they say to her at this time of night that would warrant a 'couldn't sleep' question.

She was sure that some of her new crew questioned if she didn't just prowl the ship because she wasn't brought back human but she knew that wasn't the truth. She was human and she was her but something had been messed up and she couldn't sleep.

Miranda assured her it was probably due to the extremes her body had been through and it would take time.

Jane couldn't be bothered to tell her that she was so tired.

Jacob told her that it was probably because she was among new people and that given time she would grow used to them.

Jane couldn't be bothered to more then nod and agree.

Joker told her that he couldn't find the song that the old Normandy use to sing to him as he guided them through space and she hummed in agreement because it was so close to being the truth but so far.

As she stepped into her room she decided she would seek out Karin in the morning and take the drugs that would leave her dopey. Her hands slipping to her black tank top pushing up to just below the peak of her breasts when a cough forced her on to her back foot and turning cold eyes to the bed.

"Sorry," the dart of eyes along the exposed flesh from her stomach to her breasts was quick but not unnoticed.

"the door was unlocked" the two tone vocals would have made anyone believe it was innocent but after years of knowing him, she knew that he wasn't as sorry as he should have been.

"If you wanted a peep show Garrus you should have just asked" the humour and wicked grin was enough for Garrus to chuckle and release the breath he was holding. They were still on uncertain footing as to where this thing was heading but they both knew that they wanted to head there together.

"Well" a click of mandibles and the dart of his eyes made her fingers twitch against the fabric. But the moment he's eyes connected with hers she swore internally when he looked concerned then resolved.

"Maybe later" he joked without any humour, easily sliding to his feet and closing the distance between them. She felt her heart beat speed up and when his eyes darted to her chest then back to her eyes she knew he heard it more than felt it.

She swallowed hard when his blunted talons lifted against her exposed flesh, halting just below the swell of her breasts, before reaching for her cheeks and caressing it with a tenderness that she had thought he had reserved only for his guns.

"Still not sleeping?" she caught her lip between and thought about lying to him, to make him forgot about that line of thought and instead help kill some time. Her hands slipped from her chest to his chest but the moment their eyes met again she knew she couldn't do it.

At least she couldn't lie to him; seducing him would still be open for discussion.

"I will get something tomorrow" she assured and a sound that she assumed was a cluck of the tongue came from him before he lent forward and pressed his forehead against hers.

"Shepard" the way he almost purred her name made her swallow the lump and the tears, she wanted to remind him that she was commander and she was stronger then they all thought.

But was she; she didn't sleep and she had been rebuilt was that stronger or even ok.

"I can't sleep; not that I don't want to" she told him and a sigh skittered across her lips and she allowed her eyes to slip close and enjoy the warmth from the man that despite it all had always had her six.

"It's just something is off..." she couldn't explain and for a few moments they stood in silence. Her fingers tugged at the material of his shirt and she wished that he would just make her forget about this failing.

"Come," Garrus ordered as his hand slipped from her face to her hands and tugged her towards the bed. As he turned her towards the bed her hands reached for his shirt but quickly wrapped his talons around her wrists and brought them up to his face. Nuzzling and breathing in deeply, Garrus let out a low rumble before his eyes met hers.

"Not tonight" he gruffed in a tone that had the heat racing to pool in her stomach. But she nodded and allowed him to push her hands down before he released them and reached for his own shirt, a quick look over her body and a deep rumble he took his shirt off and pushed her back on the bed.

As Jane began to crawl towards the head of the bed Garrus was swift to climb on the bed and for a moment they froze, him hovering between her legs and her ready to embrace him. But before either could give in, Garrus crawled over to the side and laid back down, scooping her in his arms.

"Remember what you told me after my first week on the Normandy?" Garrus questioned as Jane shook her head, the feel of his rougher chest plates feeling good against her skin.

"You had found me awake at some strange time in the morning and you asked if I couldn't sleep and I told you the noise of the ship kept me awake and you said-"

"It is like a heart beat; the noise is the heart beat you hear in the womb" she fills in and buries her head against feeling the purr from his chest.

"I just have to find the heart beat?" she questions as he shifts beneath her and runs his talons lightly against her scalp, both enjoying the feel.

"No; you won't find that heart beat, this time you have to listen in between the beats, find the rhythm" he whispers before a purr echoes in her ear.

Silence settles and she listens; first hearing the ship and the purring but then right between she heard it.

Lifting her head she found him watching her already and waiting for her.

With a lopsided smile she pulled his head towards her, first pressing her lips against his mouth plates then pressing her forehead against his.

"Right between the beats" she whispered earning a contented purr in response. With another kiss she shifts down and returns her head to it's previous spot.

She blocks out the sound of the ship and only half listens as he purrs; in the new darkness Jane allowed her eyes to slip close and her fingers to trace patterns across his smooth and rough plates.

Commander Jane Sheppard thought she would never be able to sleep like she had once done but right between the beats of her new life she found the sound that would help carry her to sleep.

The heart beat of the man she loved.

The end.