Me: Hello there! Today, Red will give the disclaimer!
Red: ...
Me: Oops. Cynthia, would you please be kind enough to do it?
Cynthia: Sure! Best Wishes1 does not own Pokemon, neither does he claim to do so!
Me: Thanks! Now, without further ado, let's begin!
1. I shall not insult the epicness of Cynthia's attire in front of her.
"Guys! I am here to prove the superiority of Kanto to Sinnoh in every possible way!" shouted Blue at the League get-together. Lance shot Cynthia an apologetic glance. She nodded back, as if to say, yeah, it's fine. In the meanwhile, Blue had already begun his fine rhetoric.
"Roark? He's a mining idiot. As for Gardenia, a newbie with a Rattata could beat her with ease. And Crasher Wake? That guy reminds me of a caveman. And..." Lance kind of lost interest in what the idiot was saying. How did the Viridian Leader beat him, again? He could see that the Kanto Leaders were cringing with chagrin as well.
The climax was reached when he started talking about the Elite Four. "Aaron? That wimp trains freaking bug types!" He didn't bother insulting Bertha, since she wasn't there. "As for Flint, it's a miracle he doesn't wear inflammable T-shirts filled with potassium from the inside. Lucian probably doesn't even know what I am talking about; he's buried in a book." The fact was, he wasn't. He, along with everyone else, was intently gazing at the figure behind Blue. "And of course! The marvelous Sinnoh Champion, Cynthia, is a loser in a black jack-"
Before he could finish, he found Cynthia's foot in his face.
2. Implying that Lance's Dragonite is better than Cynthia's Garchomp is not a good idea.
"Really?" glared Cynthia. Lance glared back. "Yes! Suck you! My Dragonite kicks your Garchomp any day of the week!"
"Let me show you! Garchomp, I choose you!"
"Dragonite, let's do this!"
At least you now know the inspiration of the movie Armageddon….
3. Daring Red to speak two words will result in apocalypse.
The content of this part has been removed for your own good.
4. I will not ask Red if he is mute.
"Hey, Red! I had a quick question for you! Are you dumb?"
Red stared at Blue, that idiot simply loved having his butt kicked.
5. I will not question Red's physical power. Actions speak louder than words, after all.
Red first landed a punch straight to Blue's solar plexus. He gasped and kneeled on the snow of Mt. Silver. Red then kicked the idiot's head. Then a shattering crack indicated that Red's third hit had broken Blue's ribs. Then…
Actually, I shouldn't describe this beating. If I did, then this story's rating would jump to M and above.
6. Do not feed Iris's Haxorus black pepper, ever.
"Iris, why would I?" questioned Wallace, though he was giggling uncontrollably. "You think I would purposely cause mischief?" Iris kept a straight face and said,"I really don't care to knowwho did it. Just that Ever Grande City now lies in ruins."
7. Never claim to have been stopped by random dancers in the biggest city of Unova, if you want to keep your reputation.
"You were stopped by what in Castelia City?" Alder couldn't prevent himself from laughing.
"Yes," growled Iris. "You too? CAN'T AT LEAST ONE PERSON HAND ME SOME SYMPATHY, FOR ONCE?"
Thus started the tradition of celebrating "World Sympathy Day".
8. Cynthia's Garchomp is female. Get over it.
"Cynthia!" Every champion, bar Red, cried.
"What?" she asked.
"IS IS TRUE THAT YOUR GARCHOMP IS FEMALE?"
Cynthia said nothing, and walked away, muttering "sexists" under her breath.
9. Do not start an argument about which Champion theme is best.
"MY CHAMPION THEME KICKS ALL YOUR BUTTS TOGETHER!" Blue yelled.
"Shut it!" growled Iris. "Mine is the best!"
Lance pumped his fist up and down, and proclaimed, "Everyone knows how awesome mine is!"
"Have you listened to mine?" Cynthia chuckled, malevolently.
In the midst of this, Red, who was just sixteen, muttered, "Grow up."
10. The PWT is in Unova. Do not grumble.
"Why isn't the PWT held in Kanto?" Blue grouched.
"Because you're immature," said Alder, snickering.