Summary: A broken Time Lord learns something important - how to save a life, he learns from the woman who saved his. 9/Rose.
Yeah, so having realised that 10/rose can never happen again. I returned to the happy little bubble of 9/rose and of how she saved him. So its basically set some point after the time war, when she is traveling with him. Its about how she saved him - and by the end, its about how he saved her. Enjoy!
Spoilers for The Parting Of The Ways
How To Save A Life
1) Listen
He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the softened leather of the control room chair. She sits opposite him, her hands pressed between her knees, her face leaning forward as her eyes study him. His mouth moves as incomprehensible syllables fall out, she nods absorbing them and knowing him. She understands what he cannot.
2) Hold Still
As his words reach his ears, trembles attack his body. In his mind war rages, faces burn screaming at him – for him; smiles and eyes fade into the darkness where they now rest. Cries fill the Tardis – his mixed with theirs. She is silent as she wraps her arms around his shoulders; he caves into her as she gently soothes him. She is the only one who can know.
3) Open Up
His slurred works soak into her shoulder, his words fall back into Gallifreyan – just like their screams. She knows what he's saying, she knows him, knows his mind. She listens as he cracks, she holds him as he falls apart, she stays silent and accepts his pain.
4) Talk to Someone
His eyes remain closed, her hands now grip his – he's clinging to her for his life. His teeth sink into his lip, she frowns and watches – they are now each other. She gently traces his scars on his weathered hands. His heavy leather coat swamps him as he struggles.
5) Cry
He finally raises his eyes to hers, her eyes study him from beneath her heavy lashes. Their hazel depths reflect his face, soaking him with worry. His eyes pierce her, their cool blue harsh in the gentle light. Slowly tears trickle down his cheeks, filling gorges where blood once seeped. They fall from his soul and splash softly against her skin – she doesn't move. Soon tears are wiped from his face by gently fingers.
6) Fear
His eyes close again, his tears concealed from hers. Instead he feels their screams pour through him, their fear and their hate. He feels everything he could have prevented and everything he stopped. He feels afraid.
7) Don't Be Scared Of Death
He can feel them riding through him. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Swift lives shoot through him, forgotten bodies, and empty deaths. His screams in the war echo through his mind. Eight to Nine. Empty cries. Her hand in his breaks his thoughts. He knows she's so fragile, yet she has more strength than him – more life.
8) Surrender
Her fingers glide within his. Their skin tightens around each other as he falls. Darkness lit by flames is where he hides, where he screams, where he lies, where he cries, where he dies…. She's tugging him. Her face is close to his, her eyes determined as she begs. her face unyielding with fear. Her warm breath reminds him of life and he's holding on – on to her.
9) Accept
He opens his eyes, their dieing faces drain from his mind. Her hands are soft and gliding over his skin, she nods at him – her smile taunt with worry. He blinks away his memories – they are gone. He looks around at home – he studies it and studies her.
10) Forgive
His own words echo through his mind, his forgiveness of her over and over again – eternally. He trembles with the force of his attempt. He can't forgive – they can't apologise. All he can do is forget, forget and forget. He knows forgiveness is too hard and he feels weak for it.
11) Release
He slowly drops her hands; he stands tall and moves towards the doors. She follows him in silence – a comforting presence. He pushes the doors open so they can look down over darkness. She watches the sun that burns before her. Instantly she knows what it is – a burning planet, a lost home. She places her hand on his chest – she knows the rest of his heart is burning below her with Gallifrey.
12) Have Faith
He takes her hand from his chest and places it between his own. She can't tear her gaze from the lights below her. Her head drops to his shoulder, and his head drops to hers. In silence they watch as ashes are formed. Ashes of a home and ashes of a man.
13) Breathe
He opens his mouth and sucks in forgotten air. Air that flees a burning planet. She breathes it too, they can both taste the beauty of his home. Slowly the doors swing shut as they lean against them.
14) Remember
Now she knows it, she knows home and home knows her. Now they can remember and she can understand. She can know why his eyes are darkened, why his skin is marked, why his smile is bitter and his face coarse. She can remember why he died. And he can remember the dead. They can remember.
15) Say Goodbye
He nods at the doors and walks to the console, he glances back at her. He notes the way her fingers splay over the battered wood, the way her eyes darken and her smile weakens. He notices how she rubs her eyes. He glances at the doors again and hit the buttons. He can't look up again until they are gone. Until it's over.
16) Let Go
He rubs his face, clearing it from his emotions. She does the same but still watches him. His eyes slowly uncloud as she walks towards him. He gives the doors one last glance before focusing on her.
17) Touch
Her fingers fall into his and her face rests on his chest in silent gesture. Her fingers touch his as he remembers the exact patterned of her skin upon her body. His fingers trace the line of her smile upon her face, falling easily into the tiny indentations.
18) Laugh
She watches his hands from the corners of her eyes; a slow smile spreads across her face – a smile he matches. Her tongue pushes against her upper lip – she is unsure. His grin fits his face as his laughter rocks the ship, her giggles quickly follow.
19) Love
He spins her around, they are themselves again. He remembers his pain but loses it in her smile. She gives him a quick smile before standing tall above him. He sits below and watches in amazement the woman he loves.
20) Realise
He knows what he has in his Rose. He knows she saved him, he knows she fulfilled him – he knows she taught him to live again, she taught him how to say their names again. He can now list the dead…with her hand softly tucked within his. He can honour Gallifrey because of her.
21) Protect
He knows she saved his life. Now he must do the same for her.
'This is Emergency Programme One. Rose, now listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing: we must be in danger, and I mean fatal. I'm dead, or about to die any second with no chance of escape'
But he was alive with her.
'The TARDIS can never return from here. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do: let the TARDIS die.'
This ship lived for her. This Time Lord lived for her.
'Just let this old box gather dust, no-one can open it, no-one will even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world will move on, and the box will be buried'
Learn to forget…learn what she taught him.
'And if you wanna remember me, then you can do one thing. That's all, one thing. Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.'
Live. Love. Learn. Save her how she saved him.
-------
He takes her hand.
'Call it even?'
She nods.
He dies.
How to save a life.
She will find out again.
'New teeth. That's weird. So where was I? Oh, that's right - Barcelona!'
Because she loves him.
Because she loves him.
Because she loves him.