3, 2, 1, happy new year!
"I just don't get it." Wheatley said again, "Why would anyone drop a huge ball, a very sensitive looking ball mind you, and set off fireworks just to mark getting one year closer to death?"
It was Wheatley's first New Years in Eaden. He and Chell were listening to the ball drop ceremony on their beat up old radio. Now Chell had a new challenge: explaining the significance of the new year to a man who, not four months ago, had been functionally immortal.
"The ball thing is kind of stupid." Chell admitted, "But the new year isn't about ageing, it's about new beginnings, a chance to start over and be better."
"Well mission accomplished," Wheatley said, "if last fall wasn't a chance to start over, I don't know what is. I do remember one other thing though."
"The scientists were always making goals for the new year, resolutions, they called 'em. Shouldn't we make one of those?"
"Well…" Chell began hesitantly. "Every year before now, my resolution was to forget about Aperture, forget about my past. But the past is part of who we are, so to find closure, I had to accept it. You helped me do that, you're the one good thing that came out of that nightmare."
"Oh… well thank you! On a related note," Wheatley's face suddenly turned serious, "I am going to die one day, pretty much unavoidable. And I'm not exactly sure how many pointless ball drops I've got left. So I guess my new years resolution would be to-to make the most of it, you know? Make up for lost time. Your thoughts?"
"I think that's wonderful." Chell said. We can start right now."
And as the classic song drifted over the radio and the new couple embraced, Wheatley decided this would be a happy new year, senseless ball abuse or no.