..:Halfway Home:..
"Where we love is home,
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
You know your time here is short; a fleeting moment that will not last as long as you need it to. You know this, and yet, you manage to still delve into him, forgetting completely how to look away.
And for that fleeting second, you're almost home.
His swirling eyes are beautifully nostalgic. They take you back to that place where the sand is warm and golden, so unlike the cold, grey and lifeless sand of this place. His eyes take you back to the shores of the quiet sea and the soft sound of the waves.
His eyes take you home.
And now you must do what you have never dreamed of doing before, turn from him forever. Short spaces in time ago, when you left his side, knowing that at the end, somehow to his side you would return. Now as you give your last words to him, lamentable orders for him to remain happy, you know it may take a lifetime to return to your place with him.
You know this is as close as you will come to home for a long while.
You are stuck there, as the door falls shut. His eyes lock with yours for a final fleeting minute before the deafening sound of the door clicking closed envelops you. You will remain here; that final look was the last you'd hear of him calling voicelessly, hoping you would follow him out from the darkness.
There is no comforting presence to caress you as you know will be for him. You are alone here. This will be your new home. Falling toward the cold door for a final whispered plea as the shinning force from both behind you and on the other side of that thick coldness seals your fate. You press your forehead and hands against it.
This is what is left of your home.
And then it is gone. Your fingers fall lifelessly to your sides again. Your heart feels as if it will beat right from your chest and you begin to shake. There are waves of coldness rattling through your body; but you find you cannot care, stuck here in the between. On the opposite side, so close, had been your place; you had been so close it causes you pain as you realize it.
You had been halfway there, halfway home.
And now halfway leaves you empty. This is what it will be. You freely stepped away, walking a path that left no footprints you can retrace. It was a path that left no way for you to go back. This is the pain you must suffer.
Your cruel road led you so far from home.
All you can do to keep from crying out is to sink to the floor and bury your fingers painfully deep within your hair. Memories of the place you knew and memories of him wash over you. Memories of times when you belonged and you had a place to call home make your eyes sting with unreleased tears. In that time, there was never such a thing as between or halfway, because as long as you were with him, you were home.
And now your home is out of reach and out of sight.
And it is that which brings you back to your feet again, for you will do all you can to come back. You grow determined now, the light in your eyes a carnal need to regain what was lost.
You need to go home.
You need him.
Author's Note: Yeah...I just had to get that little piece of misery out of my system. If it was confusing to follow, which I'm sure it was, this is a perspective on how Riku might have been feeling at the end of KH1, because to this day, that ending is still the cause of much anger in me. It's just so...anti-climatic. At least for Riku's part. Anyway, I'd greatly appriciate a review or two or ten.