a/n: this song request as been a long time coming and I apologize for taking so durn long to finish it. I finally got the inspiration I needed for it from a prompt in the LiveJournal Comment-fic-a-Thon. Enjoy this dirty little, yet hopefully romantic one shot. Happy Reading!
Dedicated to princressrae91285 (for requesting this song so long ago) and upupa_epops (for having a wonderfully twisted idea of Damon watching Elena and Elena watching Damon)
DECEPTIONS OF DAWN
We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide
Looking at you, holding my breath,
For once in my life, I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside.
Damon knew that it was dangerous, knew that if she even opened her eyes she would see him. To make himself feel a little safer, he pressed tighter into the corner, tighter into the shadows of her nearly dark bedroom. His eyes were glittering blue, like beacons toward her naked, sweat sheened body as it twisted and turned on the mattress. Her feet were tangled in the sheets as she teased and tortured herself within an inch of both their sanity's. More than once he had to force his hands to relax out of the fists they clenched themselves into as he watched her cum again and again. The girl was relentless, her sex drive insatiable. He'd wondered ever since the day he'd met her how she was able to resist him when sex literally seemed to hang in the air every time they were in the same room together, but if she wore herself out like this every night, she was probably too exhausted to even think about sex by the time the sun rose.
He held his breath, praying that she wouldn't stop, that she wouldn't open her eyes and see him. This; his perverted habit of sneaking into her room and watching her in the most private moments of her night…she would never forgive him. She would never perform like this for him on her own terms either, and so he hid, ignoring his broken heart as he realized this was all he would ever get of Elena. Twisted fantasies and stolen moments that didn't even belong to him. He was terrified she would spot him, that she would cover herself and scream bloody murder. He would never be able to look her in the eye again if she caught him, and so he made sure to stay perfectly still, not that she could hear him over the screams of pleasure coming from her throat. He knew it was wrong, that it was dangerous…yet still he took the chance every night and hoped that one day one of them would get the nerve to admit what was going on between them.
And not compel the fucking memory away.
Feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says
For the first time
Maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm feeling right where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love
To feel for the first time
She arched her back upwards, pressing her breasts out on perfect display for him. The heightened eyesight he normally had with him was much more intense in the dark and he could make out every single goosebump on her skin, even the bead of sweat that trickled down between her cleavage as she worked herself closer to the final fit of undoing. Elena's hips thrust up towards the imaginary lover she pretended she was with, murmurs and incoherent babbling coming from her lips. He waited until he heard his name, the one thing that made him feel alive again. Once that moan came out, his name on her lips in ecstasy he knew that he could go one more day playing this silly charade with her. Elena had crawled under his skin the moment he'd met her, and even now, in this moment of watching her he couldn't help remembering how she'd looked the first time he'd seen her. She was so young, so fresh faced. Her eyes had been full of life, and excitement. Maybe even a little fear. It was possibly her best look, and one he hoped she would have for him again one day. Was it wrong for him to feel so right, standing here watching her; even from the shadows? Surely, there was no other place he would rather be…but wasn't he breaking ten laws just being here…yet nothing about it felt wrong.
Not as long as he didn't get caught.
The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes
Elena's hand fell back as she collapsed against the pillows, a bag of limp bones and tired muscles. She was spent, she was done. Whatever pent up sexual frustration and energy she'd built up all day, that she'd pushed down and ignored around him had finally been released from her body and she relaxed into the bliss of the moment, no idea that two, wide blue eyes were memorizing every line of her naked body from the far, dark corner of her bedroom. Damon traced the rise of her breasts, the smooth flat plane of her stomach, and imagined just what the insides of her thighs would taste like, along with the rest of her skin now that she was all salty and sweaty. Soon, her shallow, harsh breaths settled down and began smooth. Damon stood still for a few more minutes, waiting to make absolute sure that she was asleep before he stepped forward and pulled the sheet up over her bare body. He knew he would never be able to leave her there just bare for anyone to see.
She murmured his name again, rolling towards his body. The heat of his skin, his very esscence called to her and he turned and slipped out of the window before she could open her eyes. Slowly, sleepily, Elena sat up; hugging the sheet to her. She was still a little lightheaded from the pleasure she'd put herself through, but she could smell the faint trace of his cologne in the air and a shiver ran through her body. Forcing herself to lay down she tried to convince herself that she'd just imagined it. There was no way that Damon Salvatore had been watching her masturbate from inside this room? There was no way that she hadn't been able to sense him until now. With a shake of her head she punched her pillow back into shape and closed her eyes. There was still a nagging feeling of worry picking in the back of her mind and she peeked one eye open to glance at the clock.
3:34 am.
He would definitely still be awake, right? What harm could there be in her going over there and testing the waters, see if he looked embarrassed at all? Carefully and quickly she dressed, all the time wondering if she was really going to confront him when she got there or not. Knowing her, she voted for not and instead decided to rehearse some excuses for showing up at this time of night when there wasn't some big crisis that needed to be handled. Tugging her jeans on and huffing because she couldn't find her underwear she dashed out of her room, fastening her bra and stuffing her head through the tshirt as she reached the bottom of the stairs. Damon wouldn't do something like that…would he? Thinking about it now, she honestly wasn't sure.
Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
Letting you inside.
Damon looked up from his brandy when he heard the knock at the door. If his heart had beat to begin with, he was sure that it would have stopped at that sound. He knew it would be her on the other side of the door…it would have to be. Quickly, he drained the glass and urged some real courage to flow through him as the liquid courage made his brain feel all fuzzy. On the other side of the door, Elena held her breath, terrified he would open it, and afraid that he would ignore her at the same time. She was taking a chance coming to him like this, but isn't that all Damon did with her? Take chance after chance that she would be able to admit her feelings for him. How could she still stand behind her denial after everything that they had been through? Very slowly the door opened as Damon revealed Elena to himself. He could hear the loud, paced out thumps of her heart as she worked to control the emotions she was feeling, and without a word he stepped back and invited her inside with a wave of his arm.
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time
Elena stepped into the house, a sense of warmth and life flowing through her almost the instant that the door closed behind her. She often felt like this when she was with Damon; alive…and the irony was not lost on her. How was it fair that something undead, something she was supposed to be afraid of brought her such safety and peace? He followed her into the den and she could feel his eyes boring into the back of her head. He wanted an answer, wanted to know why she was here and she owed it to him to speak, but she just couldn't yet. Her hands were shaking and she looked for something to do with them. His decanter was sitting on the coffeetable, half empty and she turned to him, quickly glancing at the drained crystal glass in his hand. "I was hoping that you weren't asleep."
"Don't you know that most men sleep deprived when they have a women on their minds."
Elena wasn't shocked by his forwardness, but she took a minute to recover. They hadn't said the words in a long time and this dance they did around the subject of her heart was almost familiar, almost comfortable…but she couldn't stand it anymore. "I guess I couldn't sleep either."
Damon stood there for a minute, looking at her, waiting for her. He was always waiting for her. He'd said all he needed to say these past few weeks, months and all of his words had gone unheeded, and he wasn't one for repeating himself. It was time she started talking, so with a quick glance at the clock on the mantel he decided she had one minute to make a choice or he was going upstairs. Silence fell over them as he dared her with his gaze, the air thickening with unrequited lust, desperate need and intense fear. He was just as afraid of her love as she was of his, but wasn't that what made this all the more exciting? He remembered when he was twelve and he'd chased a girl named Marie around school. He'd even been cliché enough to literally pull her pigtails and throw her into a mud puddle. After all, that was love when you were twelve. Then when he was sixteen, there was Amanda. She was a year younger than him and there was a little Romeo and Juliet thing going on for a while as her parents owned the rival logging company in the next town over.
They snuck out and met in the woods, made love once or twice with fumbling nervous hands and then one day she just didn't show up. He found out later she'd moved away with her family. To say his teenage heart was crushed would be an understatement. But that's what love was when you were sixteen; crushing and bruising and wonderfully passionate. When Katherine came along, he was already a soldier, a man. Or at least trying to be the man that his father wanted. At twenty-four most men his age were married, had lives and families, but he didn't. He took one look at Katherine Pierce and he'd decided that she was what he had been waiting for his entire life. She was going to be it for him, the one for him. He didn't want to throw her in a mud puddle or sneak off with her in the woods- though he had done it more than once. No, with Katherine he was devoted to her, wanted to worship her and show her to the world.
When infatuation comes along like this, you think its love. You think it's the end of your existence, more so then when you're an idiot teenager with idolized fantasies about running away. And for over a hundred years he chased this feeling, believing that this was what he was supposed to fight for. He'd had his entire universe mapped out, planned around Katherine; until Elena came along and through a wrench in his entire plan. At first, he thought he was only attracted to her because she shared the Petrova face. Then he hoped he just wanted to fuck her to get his century long obsession and current fantasies out of his system. Slowly, over time he became to realize that was a foolish thought. Damon Salvatore had fallen in love for the fourth and final time; and this time it was for real.
He didn't push her in mud. He didn't sneak out with her. He didn't follow her around like a lost puppy, waiting desperately in the corner for her to smile at him. No, with Elena was an entirely different person. He protected her, kept her safe; did things he knew would piss her off, even make her hate him, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered if at the end of the day she was safe in her own bed. With Katherine he'd wanted to show her off to the world because he was proud he'd found someone so beautiful. With Elena, he wanted to show her off because he was proud of her. Of how strong she'd become, of the incredible woman she was. His past loves had one thing in common however, that she didn't share.
They were willing to admit that they loved him back.
Damon quickly pulled himself out of his memories and checked the clock. He'd given her two minutes, and she'd said nothing. He set the crystal down on the table and with a smirk turned around and walked upstairs. "You're welcome to stay here if you like, or go home. Doesn't matter to me. Good night Elena."
Elena stood in the same spot, her mouth slightly open as she watched Damon turn and walk up the stairs away from her. "You're just leaving? I came over here to see you."
He paused on the landing and looked back at her. "And you saw me. I'm sorry Elena, but it's too late for this crap. I need to shower and prepare for whatever cruel teasing you throw at me tomorrow. You know the way out."
Now her mouth hung open in shock, and she only shut it when she heard the slam of his bedroom door. Fine, if he's going to be a jerk, two can play at that game. She stomped out of the house, making a show of slamming the front door, knowing that he could hear it loud and clear as if she'd done it right in his face. But she hadn't gotten any further off the porch before she froze and cursed him. The bastard was using reverse psychology on her, whether he knew it or not. Was she really that fickle, that cruel that she would only want Damon when he was turning away from her and shutting her out? The knowledge killed her a little but she shook her head and marched back into the house, her ears catching the sound of faint running water. Well, he hadn't been lying about the shower to torture her with naked images of him at least. Taking a deep breath, she walked up the stairs, doing her best to prepare herself mentally for whatever she was about to put herself through.
She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing, but there was both a sense of danger and excitement that pulled her up the stairs. Damon seemed to consume her, to push her past her boundaries and make her do crazy things; like confront him in the middle of the night when he was in the shower. Carefully, quietly she slid into his bedroom and took in the sight of his messy bed. The jeans he'd been wearing downstairs were lying on the floor and out of habit from coming into Jeremy's room she bent to pick them up, folding them. Her eyes darted through the open doorway of his bathroom, the glass wall of his shower giving her the perfectly clear view of everything that Damon Salvatore had to offer her. The water beaded against his clean skin, rolling down and off of him as he rinsed his hair. She took the time to admire his powerful hands and the long fingers as he worked them over his scalp.
There was a faint hum in the air and she noticed it was coming from deep in his throat. Damon often hummed to himself when he was trying to calm down. It was a sure sign that he was close to exploding so she stayed back and she stayed still, waiting for him to relax his face. The lines of his cheeks were hard, as was the rest of his body. All of his body. Her eyes shot back up to his face, her skin blushing furiously as she fought with herself to keep her eyes up. It wasn't like she hadn't seen Damon naked before, but this was different. Then he'd been posing, he'd been cocky and an ass. In this moment, he was just simply a man. He was having a moment and he was trying to relax. She'd never seen him look more beautiful, more human before and it had her stepping forward a little to get a closer look. His humming had died out, but so had his illusion he was alone. Very slowly, he opened his eyes and looked straight at her. She didn't blink, she didn't blush anymore, and shocking for both of them she didn't turn and run away. They just stood there for a minute, looking at each other and waiting to see who was going to make the first move.
He gently held out his hand to her, and she let his jeans fall to the tiled floor as she stepped toward him.
We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home
Damon tugged her into the shower, clothes and shoes and all. He pulled her roughly against him, under the water so the warm spray soaked her entirely. Her shirt clung to her skin but he forced his hands beneath it, peeling it up over her head. The moment she was free, their lips met. The kiss was desperate or nervous. It was simply them, being together; moving as one. She slid her fingers up into his hair, tugging at it to get him leaning further down. She kicked off her shoes, wondering if they were going to be ruined now. A gasp escaped her mouth as he lifted her up from the floor and pressed her against the cool glass. All air left her body as he crashed against her, his body weight meeting hers full on. He cupped her ass through the soaked denim and squeezed, smirking at the low groan she let slip out. Her bra was on the shower floor a moment later, but she didn't have time to process how he'd gotten it off because suddenly he was kissing her all over again. Being together like this was something unknown for both of them, but there was an odd sense of ease flowing from both their bodies that made the other comfortable.
Damon didn't worry about touching her, about being more forceful than he could have been. Elena didn't mind being loud, of moving his hands when they weren't in the right spot. She let her legs fall so he could remove her jeans, the fabric stiff and stubborn now that it was soaked. As Damon tugged them down, his eyes widened at the sight of her bare body. She let out a sound that could only be described as a giggle, her body flushing beautifully, erotically. "Don't say a word."
He knew he shouldn't tease her, but he couldn't help it. Slowly, he crawled up her body with his mouth, careful to hover over her now aching desire for a moment. "And the rumors were that I walk around commando."
She glared at him, poking a finger into his chest. "Not that it's any of your business, but I couldn't find them." Her last two words trailed off into a moan as he slid one finger inside her. Damon watched as her eyes rolled back and her head rested against the glass. "Oh my God."
He chuckled, but decided to let that one go, sliding his thumb up against her clit. She grasped his shoulders tightly, but the water made it hard to get a good grip and she ended up wrapping her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as he wracked her body with an orgasm that left her shivering and clinging to him. This, he couldn't resist. "I didn't think you had that in you after the marathon you put yourself through earlier."
She stiffened in his arms, looking up at him slowly. "You were there."
"I was." He braced for the freak out, for the screaming and the slapping and ultimately the running. When nothing came he opened his eyes and looked down, finding one of his signature smirks on her lips. "You're not pissed?"
"Oh, I'm pissed. Livid even…but to be perfectly honest I need you inside me too much right now to start a fight. You are going to make love to me Damon Salvatore, you are going to fulfill all those fantasies you watched me create and then, in the morning after I've recovered…you are going to pay."
He leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Honey, I'll love you so good you forget all about me watching you every night."
"Every night!" she shrieked, realizing it wasn't the first time he'd snuck in and watched her. Before she could continue ranting, he leaned down and kissed her into silence, his hands on either side of her hips now, holding her in place and guiding him inside her slowly; inch by inch.
Any anger and humiliation Elena had felt in her moment of panicked shame disappeared the second Damon filled her. Stars didn't literally explode behind her eyes as Caroline had once described sex with Damon was like, but it was pretty damn close. Her nails dug into his shoulders so hard that she drew blood, but the wounds healed quickly and the blood washed away with the water. "You're so tight." He growled in her ear, moving slightly faster now that they'd both had a minute to adjust.
"Are you complaining?" she'd meant her words to come out in a erotic tease, but all she could manage was a desperate huff of air as he pulled out, and slid all the way back in with more force.
"Not at all." He looked up at her, finding salvation and home in her eyes. He'd finally found it, finally found the one.
I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time
Elena let Damon love her, watched him slip in and out of his humanity for a second or two as he fought with his bloodlust. Just as she'd felt she'd seen him for the first time under the water, she saw him in an entirely new way. This Damon was both human and vampire, a terrifying, terrific combination that did little more than rock her entire world. She felt his body stiffen beneath hers and knew that this wonderful rollercoaster ride of pleasure and satisfaction was about to end. "Bite me." She whispered into his kiss when she felt the shocking tingles of toe curling sparks begin in the bottom of her stomach.
Damon pulled back, but he didn't hesitate; shocking her once more. He was always doing that, shocking her, surprising her. Making life incredible and exciting, and even a little dangerous. When his fangs sunk into her throat she let out a scream, but the pain barely even registered as they came together. She belonged to Damon now, and he belonged to her. It may not be right, but it wasn't entirely wrong either. Her and Matt's love had been planned from diapers, mapped out by her parents, her friends and the town's expectations. Her and Stefan had been an act of fate, a timing of lives and love that had woken her up and brought her back to life. Damon…loving Damon was new and consuming and altogether exactly where she was supposed to be.
As he carried her over to the tangled sheets of his bed, he kissed her softly. There was a hint of thankfulness in his gentle demeanor now, and she felt the warmth of his adoration flow through her body as her blood flowed through his. In the morning she would get him back for being a perverted jerk, but right now they were just Damon and Elena and that's all she wanted. The sun was beginning to rise by the time she fell asleep, but Damon stayed awake watching the warm glow of the rays cast over her naked body. He welcomed the sun, welcomed the new dawn and took comfort in the fact that he knew he would never have to hide in the shadows again. This wasn't some tortuous dream he would wake up from and find himself alone. This was real. Finally.
a/n: first off, I would like to sincerely apologize for my little rant at the top of my last post. Please excuse my diva moment and forgive me for acting like what seemed a brat. I meant no disrespect to my readers and I love each and every one of you, silent or not. I pour my heart and soul into every fic, but that is my choice as a writer. That does not mean you HAVE to review unless you feel like there is something you would like to say. Yes, your comments make me happy but I should in no way sound like I expect everyone to speak up. I did not mean to come across like that, so to anyone I upset I do apologize.
That being said, I do hope that you enjoyed this and that you will favorite and let me know if there are any requests or thoughts you would like to share.
Until my next post, thank you for being so loving, and so loyal to me.