This story is dedicated to anybody that has experienced having to go through a military deployment whether it is your own child, friend or family member. And in this case your own lover but with a twist. There will be times that will make you laugh and times that will make you cry (or at least it did me and I'm typing it).

As always I do not own anything that SM created I only like to play with them.

I hope you like it. Please review but if you do be nice!

Thanks…kelliwelli

36 More days

Chapter 1

EPOV

Only 36 more days and she's home. I promised myself I wouldn't count the days…I never "X'd" out the days like I see other loved ones that are waiting on their soldier to return back home. Soldier! My fiancée'…no my girlfriend is a soldier. The very minute her size 6 boots hit the ground I am asking her to marry me and she is never going to leave my sight again. I think I fell in love with her soon after we started dating. I know I felt something the second I met her and shook her hand. I wanted to be a gentleman and kiss her hand but…I didn't want to come across as a complete lovesick fool that I think I was. Bella is sweet and kind, not to mention beautiful. But in saying that she is probably the strongest woman I know, mentally. I am sure she could whip my ass as well. We have had a great start in this relationship and I know there will never be another woman on this planet for me. I am totally in love with this woman. So yea, I guess I am a love sick fool or just a man completely in love with a woman.

I finished making rounds in ICU and was just making me a cup of coffee when I felt my phone vibrate. Please don't let this be the ER; they have kept me hopping today.

"Oh hey dad what's up?" I said as I answered my phone.

"Edward, are you still in house?" He said with a serious tone.

"Yes I am getting some coffee, want some?"

"Uh no son thanks. But I need you to come to my office." I noticed his voice sounded off to me. It isn't very often that I hear this in his voice.

"Dad? Are you okay?"

"Just come to my office Edward."

I sighed…and took a breath.

"Be right there."

I listened at the door before knocking. I heard several voices but they were too quiet for me to eavesdrop. I knocked and the voices all got quiet.

"Come in." My father said.

I walked in noticing my family and…

"What's going on?"

I could feel something was up. My mom, Rose and Alice were sitting on the couch and wouldn't make eye-contact with me. I noticed a man standing with his back turned staring out the window.

"Chief Swan?" I started to walk towards him. But my dad stepped in front of me to stop me. What the fuck?

"Okay people? I need to know what the hell is going on. I had some really great news I wanted to share with you about when Bella comes…" All of a sudden I noticed that Charlie turned around and his face was red and he looked liked he had been crying.

Charlie walked to me and put his hands on my shoulders and said

"Edward… I need for you to stay calm and listen to me. This morning I received a phone call that Bel…"

Immediately my heart started pounding and before I knew it I was yelling at what I had hoped was going to be my future father-in-law.

"Do not stand there and tell me she is dead Charlie, she can't be. I'm going to marry her." I felt my mother's arms around me. I didn't realize I was crying.

"Edward, they don't know what happened yet. There was an IED explosion that their M-ATV drove over. They are believed to all have been killed and have been unable to recover her body yet." I think my heart stopped. I closed my eyes and wished for this to all go away.

"No Charlie, please don't say this to me."

"Come sit down darling." My mom led me to a chair and she knelt in front of me and wiped the tears that flowed down my face.

I felt my father place his hands on my shoulders and squeeze I know he was trying to send me strength that I at the moment I did not have.

"I'm sorry baby." She said as she cried.

I reached for my mom and hugged her with all I had.

"Mom tell me this is a bad dream, I love her. I was going to ask her to marry me as soon as she got home. Right there in the airport."

"I know she doesn't like me to spend money on her, but you should see the ring. When I went to that meeting with dad in New York I walked over to Starbuck's and just happened to go by Tiffany's. It's a 3 carat canary diamond; I saw it and just had to buy it. She will…or would have…" Well that started the tears of everybody in the room.

"No Edward, She will love it. Let's think positive, okay son." I heard Charlie say.

"You were really going to ask her at the airport?" My mom asked.

"Yes and if she wanted we could fly to Vegas that night. I didn't care if she was still in her uniform. I just wanted her to be mine."

Well that's all it took for the tears to start again.

I heard dad make arrangement's for me to take a leave of absence till we knew what was going on and I am very thankful he did. Jasper drove me home because really my mind was somewhere else other than safety laws right now. Thank God I had my sunglasses. My head is pounding. I walked by the nurse's station with them on and without saying anything to the staff. They had to know something horrible was going on for all of the people surrounding me and for my mom still holding my hand as we walked out of the hospital.

Once we arrived at my childhood home I couldn't wait to just sit and not think. I didn't want to hear my name, I didn't want to hear a sound and I defiantly didn't want to hear FOX news, or any news related show where I could hear any military news right now. The ladies made sandwiches and offered me a plate but I really didn't think I could stomach anything right now. After a while I came down from my room and grabbed a bottle of water and looked for my dad and the chief. The men were all sitting around the kitchen table drinking beers and I noticed the ladies were all on the back patio huddled together.

"Okay dads, Chief Swan…tell me what you know. All of it leave nothing out. I am a fucking doctor you know. I have seen shit that most people haven't and I can take anything you throw at me, so tell me." They knew I was serious. They looked at each other and nodded.

"This morning I received a phone call from a Commander from her base and they said Bella went out on a mission and..."

"What!" I screamed.

"I know son…hold on, just hold on. You know Bella like I do. Their new medic had not arrived yet and well she volunteered to go. It was supposed to be a quick ride out to deliver supplies to some combat engineers and then back to the forward-operating-base."

"And well we know that fucking didn't happen, don't we? What is she doing so far away from the FOB? She is not to cross the wire I thought! Where is the doctor and who is watching the other patient's at the hospital?"

Okay, I think the calm Edward has left the building for a while. My head is pounding.

"I need some air."

"Do you want some company?" Jasper asked.

"No, but thank you. I need to be alone right now. I have my phone if you hear anything. I won't go far." I turned and walked out the front door not having any idea where my body would take me.

"Edward this is the military, they are going to tell us what they can. We will have to be patient." my dad said. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the house.

You know you hear of this happening to families all over the US but until it happens to you or someone you know it doesn't feel real. My body hurts all over. I try to console families of patient's we lost due to illness or trauma but never-ever did I think I would be on the other side. I tell the parent's of the teenager they lost in a car accident that their death was quick and they didn't suffer when I have to pronounce their time of death. I can't say that for my Bella, I can't find comfort today. I need answers. I don't know what happened to her. But I promise I will find out. My sanity depends on knowing what she went through. Before I realized it I was back home and sitting on our front porch.

"Oh you're back." I heard Charlie say but I never turned around.

He handed me a beer as he sat down on the steps with me.

"Tough day huh?" He said to me.

I just nodded as I drank the beer in silence.

"You know Edward before you were to jump on a plane to go to Vegas I think there was a step you left out." He said just as serious as I have ever heard him.

"What do you mean?" I said as I turned to him.

"You were of course going to ask my permission." He said with all seriousness not a glimmer of a smirk on his face. My mouth immediately went dry.

"Um…oh yea…I think I did forget that step." I was immediately trying to crawfish out of this.

"Edward I am kidding you. My daughter would be very lucky to have you as her husband." He said as he clasped my shoulder.

I couldn't look at him in the face mainly because of the tears in my eyes and if I did then we both would be blubbering idiots.

"Charlie this can't be happening. I keep waiting for someone to wake me up and tell me this is a bad fucking dream. Do we know anything else? What about her squad? Was it an IED? I really need answers." I said as tears tracked down my face for the hundredth time today.

"Are you staying here tonight son?"

"Probably, are you? There is plenty of room." I said.

"I don't think I really have a choice or at least Esme made it seem like I didn't." I smiled, knowing my mom can be me very convincing

"Charlie, I'm sorry you are going through this. All the attention has been on me. And you are the one whose daughter is…missing." I just can't say dead.

"You know when Bella's mom died I thought I couldn't go on another day but as time went on, it got easier. But we are going to continue to focus on the positive until we know the details. I think we should try to get some rest." He said as he stood up waiting for me to follow.

"Come on Edward, she would be pissed if she thought you were giving up like this." I nodded at the thought knowing he was correct.

"Okay Chief."

He hugged me goodnight like a father hugs a son.

"Remember think positive, she'll be home."

I can't speak right now so I nod and walk up to my room on the third floor.

I notice as I walk into my room that someone has brought me clothes and personal items from my house. I walk into my bathroom and turn the shower on. This is the first time I see myself. My eyes look like shit. The room feels with steam and this body is in dire need of the hot water. I strip off my scrubs and step into the shower letting the hot water just run off of my head. I turn on the rain nozzle then I remember how much Bella loves that feature in my shower at our home.

"Bella!" I say out-loud as I slide down the wall till I am sitting on the floor of my shower. I drop my head in my hands bawling my eyes out yet again. After a while I realize that I am shivering and am covered in goose-bumps I stand up and shut the water off. So much for a relaxing hot shower. I step out and grab a towel; quickly dry off. Maybe a warm bed and night's sleep is what I need. I quickly slip on my flannel sleep pants and open the door and not to my surprise is my mother sitting on the bed. I smile and walk towards her.

"What are you doing awake Esme Cullen?" I ask as I sit beside her.

"Waiting for my son to get out of a freezing shower I would imagine. You had about 2 more minutes or this mom was coming in to get you. I don't care if you are naked and grown up. I am not going to have my son hurting and not be able to help him."

I nod and then look at her as tears are tracking down her face.

"I don't know what I'm going to do if this ends like I am afraid this is going to end. She is my life and I wanted my future to be with her. Everything that is me is wrapped around her. She makes me stronger because she is strong. She makes me love better because she is so loving. I so wanted children with her mom, I wanted everything with her." I confessed yet again to my mom.

"I know you did sweetheart and she knows you did. It showed." She says as she ran her hand through my hair. We sat quietly for a little bit just gathering our thoughts.

"When are you going to cut this hair?" She said quietly.

"Bella would always ask when it got to this point too. I think you two always conspired against me." I said. It was nice to talk like this with my mom but it did bring up a lot of memories.

"We did you silly boy, if it wasn't for us you men couldn't find your shoes, keys and thank goodness we finally got Emmett trained to check his zipper." We both smiled at each other remembering all of the times he didn't check his zipper.

"I'm scared mom." I said as I laid my head in her lap.

"I know son…I know." She whispered.

…∞∞∞…

A/N:

Did you use any tissues? I know I'm not a real writer and for this I apologize. This fan-fiction for me is just for fun. I hope I didn't offend any true writer's or English major's out there in this crazy FF land. I hope to add to my other stories soon this just popped in my head one day and I had to write it.