A Few Choice Words

By Grayhart

Summary: Lily Evans hates James…James loves Lily. Naturally, the opportune moment for him to spill his guts is when she's conked out & mortally wounded!!! Sirius & James/Lily, T for language

Disclaimer: NOT MINE, as you know!!

READ THIS: The setup is thusly - Lily went into the Forbidden Forest (I won't get into the details,) got attacked by a bat-creature and was rescued by Hagrid and Fang. Currently, she's lying passed out in the hospital wing.

James looked down at Lily's broken, battered body. He was standing, hovering alone at the foot of her hospital bed. He couldn't have gone in when all her friends were in there --- everyone would wonder why he'd bothered.

Yes, it was one-thirty on a Thursday morning, and he found himself in the hospital wing, having thrown on his Invisibility Cloak and crept. Creeping was one of James' talents. He could be very sneaky. If, that is, sneaky included or overlooked his walking directly into two suits of armor and turning a corner into a "secret passage-way" that turned out to be an ordinary wall.

All of this for a girl that, to all appearances, loathed him

But, you see, loathe and love are two consonants away.

James let out a sigh. The way the thin sickle moon traced the curve of her cheek as she slept… The way her dark hair spilled out across the white sheets… The way her hands curled slightly, shifted, one touching the side of her own face… Lily Evans, I think you're beautiful, James thought.

He pulled the Cloak off and let it fall quietly to the floor, where it lay in a glimmering heap. As quietly as he could, he whipped out his wand and whispered "Accio stool," watching a small stool zoom across the room towards him. He was so much in shock about the brilliant Summoning Charm he's just performed that he lost his concentration. The stool fell to the floor with a deafening crash.

Shit, shit, shit shit shitshitshitshit!

Lily muttered something in her sleep, something James believed to be about smoothies. He could not have missed the mark by more.

Grabbing the stool the usual way, he stuck his wand in his jeans pocket and sat down on it, his hands on his knees. He should have noticed the Invisibility Cloak speeding towards the door of the hospital wing, having been summoned there by a dark shape holding it's wand low to the ground.

"Lily," he started slowly, his voice, even as a hoarse whisper, broke the silence worse than the stool. Her breathing continued, her stomach moved up and down in a steady rhythm. She twitched, her hand moved against her face as she dreamed. "Oh, Lily…"

James didn't even think twice before he reached out and touched that bruised little hand. His own was so much larger; his palm dwarfed hers almost ridiculously.

"Lily Evans, what on earth have you done to yourself?" he muttered. Lily was hurt so badly…he felt the rage inside him swallow his sadness. "Whatever did this to you, I'll…" but he trailed away, unable to express that anger within him. For every drop of her blood, he wanted an ocean of something else's… someone had to pay.

She winced at the hard grip he had on her hand, but slept on. Alarmed, he let go immediately. "No, no…That's not what you'd want, is it?" he mumbled to her sleeping form. "You're too gentle for revenge. Too much like a Lily itself."

Still, now that his anger had evaporated, he was distraught by the state she was in.

"Oh, Lily…I just don't understand. Who…what would ever want to hurt something as gentle as you? What would ever want to hurt something as beautiful, as innocent as you? It'd be like stepping on a flower, not out of necessity, but spite… But you can't let them hurt you, at least not inside, Lily, you can't!"

Lily tipped her head over so that it faced away, her neck completely exposed, as white as her sheets. She looked so…pure. So harmless. James could simply not fathom the depth of evil necessary to cause harm to his precious Lily.

"Let me fight them for you," he whispered, "I would. I'd fight, I'd…" he gulped, thinking, but at the same time knowing it to be true, "I'd…die for you. I'm not just bullshitting here, cause I know that's what you'd say!" He raised the pitch of his voice slightly, imitating her, "'Stop it, you toerag! You shouldn't say things like that, especially when you don't mean them! Especially when hearing you say them would make any girl want to vomit!'" he laughed softly. "I know I'm a bit of a jerk sometimes… Scratch that, I'm a huge jerk almost all of the time. But still, Lily, you do something to me."

He brushed the side of her face.

"You think I'm insane, don't you? I know, I know, I'm just a dramatic, right? Well, I'll have you know. Miss Evans, that I am. And I'm proud of it!"

She took that moment to smile, just slightly, at something in her dream. It had nothing to do with James, and he knew it, but it encouraged him in any case.

"You know what, Lily?" he asked, suddenly. "It's so much easier to talk to you when you're unconscious, d'you know that? I should've tried this long ago. We'd be on much better terms now."

Lily sighed, suddenly and unexpectedly turning her head towards the source of his low voice. His hand, which was still lying on top of hers, was covered when her face fell on it. He took a moment just to wonder at how soft her cheek was, before she gripped his hand back and nudged it softly with her nose.

James was amazed at how wonderful that felt.

Then, he wondered if this qualified as 'taking advantage of her.' He suddenly felt like he was taking advantage, a very large advantage, and tried to pull his hand away but she gripped it more firmly and whispered the first word she had spoken in since the accident.

"No."

"What?" James cried, before mentally slapping himself. "You don't know who I am," he laughed.

"James, you idiot." she muttered, then nudged his hand with her face again. "Don't you dare leave me. It's…it's going to come again, I can feel it, I can see it…" Suddenly, her soft, dream-voice coloured with fright. Her eyes, still closed, flickered slightly. She was looking around, within the dream.

"No! Of course not, I'm staying right here!" he said quickly.

"Good," she breathed. He could barely feel her lips form the word against the back of his hand.

Overcome by emotion, he passed his other hand over her cheek lightly, and told her once more, "I'm not going anywhere."

James was interrupted from his soft pass of her cheek by a loud crash.

Whipping his head around, he wrenched his hand from Lily's. She made a frightened whimpering sound that wrenched at his heart, but he knew it would be terrible if he was caught in the hospital wing after hours, visiting a girl who detested him, no less.

"Not going anywhere, eh, James?" a voice chuckled by his ear. Whipping around, he saw…

Nobody.

"Who's there?" he hissed. The voice chuckled once more, a chuckle that was agitatingly familiar---

"Sirius Black, you bastard!"

"James Potter, you lovestruck moron!"

"Padfoot, what the bloody hell are you doing wandering the halls at this time of the night, taking my possessions?!" James hissed. He was so mad he almost forgot that Sirius was his best mate.

"Prongs," Sirius asked, before his dark, rugged head appeared from seemingly nowhere, inches before James' own, "what the bloody hell are you doing in the Hospital Wing touching the face of Lily Evans who hates you and leaving your possessions on the floors for people to find?"

There was a good deal of laugh in his voice.

"You heard me talking to Lily didn't you, you smarm?!"

"Maybe," Sirius replied cheekily, winking at the inert Lily with a roguish, "How you doin', toots?"

"Shut up!" James hissed. "Lily would hate it if you called her 'toots!'"

"Yes, well, it's up for debate. You putting a possessive adjective before her name… 'My Lily??' I'm pretty sure she'd be immediately averse to that!"

Sirius stared at James with an amused expression; James stared at Sirius as if he wanted nothing more than to force-feed him rice pudding until his organs exploded and then shrivelled up. (It was only one of the many ideas that came to his mind.)

Lily chose that moment to whisper, softly, calling him. "James?"

Sirius' eyebrows shot up into his forehead. "Or maybe not so averse?"

She called again and closed her right hand over empty air, more insistently, "James?"

"I'm here, d-don't worry," he answered, still glaring daggers at Sirius, whose wicked grin was growing by the second.

"You promised you wouldn't leave me!"

Her voice now sounded angry, so he responded quickly by placing his hand over hers once again. "I'm still here, see?"

Lily snored loudly in reply.

Sirius was sniggering quietly into his own hands. "You shut up, or tomorrow you'll be in that bed over there," James hissed, gesturing with his free hand to the bed on the other side of Lily's.

"Brilliant." Sirius snickered, "Then you can hold hands with both of us."

James couldn't think of anything witty to snap back with, so he looked back at Lily Evans' face, snuggled up to his hand. There was a small cut, just above her eyebrow, that he had not noticed.

"Look," Sirius asked, on a more serious note. "I thought…Well, you said you…" His voice trailed off.

"I know. I told you, and Moony, and Wormtail that I'd gotten over Lily. That I'd just be friends with her, or not even. But I lied, okay?" Sirius looked down. "Is that what you wanted to hear? I lied. I lied to you. I lied to my bloody self, because I wanted it to be true…I didn't want her to hate me for loving her. So I thought I'd settle on her liking me for me liking her, as mates. But it just…It never happened. I still love her," he added softly, looking at her face sadly, almost wistfully, but certainly Sirius noted with longing.

"Well," Sirius said abruptly. "She seems to be taking quite well to your hand."

James snorted. So did the other boy. "I know, mate, but a hand is a start. One day she might eventually like your nose, or your eyes, or maybe," he added, with a mischievous glint in his eye, "your ---"

"Drop it, kick it away, leave it alone!" James snapped, but he was laughing too. They both snapped their mouths closed, however, when Lily lifted her head and looked around blearily.

"What's so funny?" she mumbled. "What'd I miss?"

Looking around, she noticed she was in the Hospital Wing, but she couldn't quite remember how she'd gotten there in the first place. Feeling wearied by this escapade and still unable to see anyone, she dropped her head onto her pillow, muttering softly, "Must've dreamed it…"

This was followed by a loud, wet, genuine snore.

She didn't hear it, of course, but simultaneously two sighs of relief were released, and two pairs of feet made a mad dash to the exit.

FIN