Authors Note: This is my longer story about James Bond and Alec Trevelyan. Green Eyes, Golden Heart. The title is to reflect the name of the movie, but also how so many women seems to like Alec's green eyes. This is partially based on my one shots, or rather they provide a background for this, and so, many things that are just mentioned briefly here, is written in full in them.
Very big thanks goes to Earendil Eldar for beta work.
Disclaimer: I do not own James Bond, Alec Trevelyan or any other James Bond related item or person. I have only borrowed the characters and will return them. Not even making any serious attempt at kidnapping Alec, and as I have gotten some special glue form Q, he shall appear utterly unharmed.
Green Eyes and Golden Heart
Chapter 1 A Traitor
If you had remembered anything of what we were for each other, then you would never have become a traitor.
What now? This had to be one of the first times in his life that he had no idea. He was alone in the small cell. There had been no food and no water. He felt faint and dizzy with hunger and thirst. His whole body ached. It was cold and he shivered, yet he felt stifled and hot. Before all the pain had been suppressed by adrenalin, now he suffered.
He was also afraid. Not that he would ever admit that. He had his back pressed against the wall, huddled in the corner. His injured arm pressed to his body, and the other arm wrapped around his knee. The other leg was stretched out before him as the pain was to great for him to bend it. It had wrenched quite badly when James had grabbed his ankle. James had pulled him up, and made him jump to grab onto the helicopter. He had hung there, but he had been unable to hang on long enough. While they were still rather high in the air he had lost his grip and fallen to the ground. That had done further damage to his leg.
James had gone to him while he was still lying panting on the ground, and had knocked him out with a swift blow to the back of his head. The next thing that he was aware of was being thrown into the cell, and now he waited.
It became harder and harder to focus his thoughts, and he was dimly aware that he was about to lose his grip of consciousness. Then the door opened.
The cell was dim and the corridor outside brightly lit, so at first he could not see anything. Then he could see the shape of a man outlined in the light, the twin shape, he had to be seeing double, and he was fairly certain that that was a bad thing.
"Traitorous scum."
Alec looked up at him, he knew him, it was only so hard to remember when his head was spinning.
"James." His voice was a horse croak. Instinctively pleading for aid even while his brain strove to remember.
"Your grand scheme failed. Have you no witty remark?" James sneered at him.
"Water." He gasped, and then coughed. "Please James."
"Why should I bring water to a traitor? You are a traitor Alec. The worst kind. The lowest scum."
The few words he had had uttered tore at his throat, and he could not help but moan even if it hurt his throat even more. "Please James." He tried to curl up tighter, tried to protect himself.
"You are a traitor Alec." James left and a small whimper escaped Alec as he was alone once more.
James stood in the doorway of the cell, looking at the form huddled in the corner. Alec looked so pitiful, pale and with a sheen of cold sweet on his face. He was muttering deliriously and moaning while he tossed fitfully. Yet James could not feel any pity for him. He felt anger and spite. He loathed what he saw before him. Not even for one of his oldest friends could he find pity enough to bring him water, not after what he had done.
Alec had betrayed England, and even worse he had betrayed James.
James was not about to forgive him for that. If it had not been for the order to bring him back alive, James would have allowed him to fall to his death.
Now he closed the cell door, so that he would no longer have to look at his former friend.
Everyone had said that they were inseparable, James and Alec. It was also said that as long as they were together they could not be defeated. Too good and too smart to be caught, too witty to be taken by surprise. They had been called the best, they had been the best.
"You should go in there." Double-oh-three said calmly to James. They were standing outside a door, peering through the glass window in it.
Inside in the room, laying prone on the bed was Alec. He had now been given medical attention and he would survive. Alec would live. Now he looked to be asleep.
"Why?" He was not sure why he even was outside the door.
"It's Alec." Double-oh-three sighed. "What do you think he would do if it were you?"
"He's a traitor, and he tried to kill me." James spat.
"He was your friend James." Double-oh-three looked in on the sleeping form in the bed. Whatever had occurred it was still Alec in there. Their Alec, that had to mean something, that should mean something.
"He does not seem to remember that." James sneered.
"Maybe he does not." Double-oh-three looked very sad. "Do you remember it James?" He took out a thick envelope. "Go in there James. He is asleep, he shall not know. Do it for me if not for him. And look through this, if he ever was your friend." Double-oh-three handed him the envelope and left.
To his surprise James found himself obeying. He sank down on the chair beside the bed, he was doing this for Double-oh-three, not for Alec.
The envelope contained photographs and folded sheets of paper.
The first photo was of him and Alec. Both of them dressed up in snugly fitting dinner jackets. He and Alec when they were young. Before they had even been on their first really dangerous assignment. Alec was one big smile, his green eyes sparkling playfully. That was the Alec he remembered.
The next photo, Alec and he after that first dangerous assignment, bruised and scraped but still grinning. The next one, Alec on a fancy dinner, with a beautiful woman on his arm. One he had managed to pick up while gathering information.
He and Alec with their faces so black with soot that one could hardly tell their features. One of Q's explosive charges had gone of to early. It had still done the job though, and they were smiling as they always appeared to be. Alec's green eyes sparkled a sharp contrast to the black soot as he brushed an imagined fleck of dust from James ruined suit. At the same time James was straightening Alec's tie, no matter that the suit was torn with big gashes, and as black with soot as every inch of exposed skin.
Alec and he holding on to each other because they were laughing too hard to stand straight on their own. Photos taken after missions when they both looked worse for wear.
Alec, when James had come so near to losing him that his chest still tightened to think about it. When he had dragged Alec out, more dead than alive. The bullet alone had not caused all the damage, but the impact of it had caused him to fall sixty feet, and that had done some real damage. Even in the photo he looked so very pale, even if he was smiling as he was finally allowed out of bed again.
Every time they had risked their lives they had known that there was a chance that they would die, but they had always thought that they would die together.
Then he had truly believed that he had lost Alec, and then Alec had betrayed James.
He looked at the Alec on the photo, the one taken when they had just met. So young and inexperienced, and not a little naïve. When had he changed into a traitor.
He unfolded the papers, various documents about their assignments. Here was evidence of everything that they had been through together, and for what.
"Why did we do it?" He murmured, not fully aware that he had voiced the question out loud before there was an answer to his last few words.
"For England, James. For England I think." The voice was hoarse and weak, but it was Alec. James head snapped around to glare at him. His eyes were open now, and James had no idea of how long he had been awake.
"But you never did anything for England Alec, it was always for yourself. You are a traitor Alec."
"It seems that way." Alec nodded. "I am sorry for that James."
"It's not enough Alec." James sneered
"It is all I have." Alec looked sad, like a small and lost child. Turning his head away from James, as if he could no longer face him, Alec turned his head to the photos James had been looking through. He reached out a shaky hand to pick one of them up. The one where they were covered in soot.
"I feel as if I should remember this." He mumbled softly, barely loud enough for James to hear. "Like if it was important in some way."
James snatched the photo from his weak grip. "What could be important to you? If you had remembered anything of what we were for each other, then you would never have become a traitor."
"You are right James. If I had remembered that I would never have been a traitor. I wish I could remember." He looked hurt and vulnerable, and James hated him for it.
"It is too late Alec." He sneered, then he grabbed the photos and the papers and left. He did not want to see Alec anymore, did not want to see him looking like a small and terrified child. If he did he might feel sympathy for him.
He retreated to his office. He was furious at Double-oh-three for tricking him to see Alec, he should never have gone in there.
He threw the envelope down on the desk. One photo fell out, it lay there on the desk and his eyes was drawn towards it.
Alec, but an image of him that James had never seen before. How old could he be, no more than three or four, but he looked so very small. The shirt he wore hung loosely on him, as if it were much too big. The sleeves were rolled up and there were angry red scratches covering his hands. His face was so thin that he looked malnourished, and was that a nametag that hung from a string around his neck. The thin face had the same angry red scratches as his hands.
This was a photo of the little Alec who had just been orphaned. The nametag was there for the benefit of the orphanage. James had never seen any photo of Alec as a child before, there were never many photos of orphans, but there were this one. Taken just after he had been found. Just as he was about to be delivered to the orphanage.
Before, in that room he had thought that Alec looked like a small lost boy, now he knew what Alec had looked like when he was a small lost boy.
He stared at the photo, unable to look away.
"I thought that should rattle you." His head snapped up and he stared at Double-oh-three.
"How was he?" Double-oh-three then asked.
"He's a traitor and I have talked with him. I will do no more." James slapped down the photo onto his desk.
"Actually he is also a victim." Double-oh-three took a seat on a chair and offered James a sad smile. "Are you prepared to listen to me now James?"
James glanced at the photo of the child, and nodded.
"Alec was captured." Double-oh-three began. "He did not plan to go over to the enemy, he just became a pawn in the game, a game which he could not remember the rules of." He took out another envelope. "Read this James. It is the complete report. The reason that you were asked to bring Alec back alive. Read it before you judge him." With those words Double-oh-three stood again. "I shall go to him now, for he must be in need of a friend."
James picked up the report. He found it hard to believe that there was anything in it that could change his mind concerning Alec. There were no excuse for traitors, could there even be traitors who were unaware of what they had become?
According to the report there was. James had seen the gun go off, had seen Alec crumble to the ground. Only the bullet had just clipped him on the side of his head. They had dragged him out, intending to take revenge on him, and when he had awoken they had discovered something.
The bullet had done damage. Alec could not remember anything. He was suffering from severe amnesia. Working very slowly they had begun plotting on another revenge. Using one of England's most loyal servants against his beloved country.
Slowly a few memories came back to him, and when he questioned them about those they told him about his parents. Telling him that he had defected to take his revenge for them.
The report stated that even now there were large gaps in his memories. He could recall little of the years before his capture, and he no longer dared to trust what he was told. Terrified of being told lies.
James rubbed a hand over his eyes. He could still not forgive, but he could understand a little more.
It appeared as if Double-oh-three had left again, for Alec was alone in the room. He lay looking at the ceiling, and his fingers absently picking at the bed sheets. James dropped the photo of the two soot covered friends on the sheet.
"We had used one of Q's explosives, only it went off much too early. And we were due to report. We were joking about looking smart and proper, and how important that was. As if it really did matter whether the tie was straight or not when the suits were utterly ruined, and we were covered in soot." He was looking at the photo instead of Alec. There was no reason for him to be telling Alec this. He still wanted nothing more to do with Alec.
"Q's explosives." Alec said the word carefully, as if he were tasting it. "All those gadgets." He picked up the photo again and looked at it. He could almost recall it now. It was hard to be sure, but he remembered something that fitted with what James had just told him.
"Thank you James." He said quietly.
"This changes nothing Alec." James turned and left, leaving the photo with Alec. He knew that some things had changed. Because Alec had been a victim as well.
When James had left Alec looked at the photo again. To him it was evidence that he had once had friends. Double-oh-three had been there to speak with him, and he had been friendly. He had actually been kind to him. He did not seem to be holding any grudges against Alec, but Alec did not feel as though he knew him, and that made him feel uncomfortable. Why should Double-oh-three be so kind and understanding to him?
Most of the time he was alone. The medical staff only came to check on him, and at meal times. They left him alone to eat thought, something he was grateful for. He had never liked to display any weakness. Perhaps it was childish, but when he was alone he could close his eyes and try to shut out the world. Try to forget about what had happened. That was what he did now.
Double-oh-three had brought him a book to read, as well as some other smaller items that he thought Alec could have use of. The book was a good distraction, even if he did not care too much about reading normally. It was too slow for his taste. Now he had little else to do while he waited to heal, and waited to find out what they would do with him. His guess would be the nastiest prison that they could find. What he could not understand was why he was not already there. What were they waiting for?
Eventually it became clear that no one knew what to do with Alec. He was a very difficult problem. He had never been a traitor out of his own free will, so they were not willing to put him in prison. They had never done that to any other agent who had been captured. It was clear to everyone that Alec was shocked by what he had been tricked to do. So there was no one willing to condemn him for it.
There was also the fact that he had been one of the best agents, and had served with a loyalty that should not be forgotten. Not unless they wanted to be as cruel as the enemy. That still left the problem of what to do with him. They could not have him return as an active agent. Maybe sometime in the future, but that was so far away that there was no use to be thinking about it.
M decided that she should speak with him and find out what he wanted to do now. If they could arrange it, she was willing to pay heed to his wish. She had never known him before his capture, but she had learnt of him from others. All of them who had spoken very highly of the young talented agent. The only one who seemed to dislike Alec now was James, and that was entirely for personal reasons. She had asked about Bond's attitude towards life, and Alec had been the answer she was given.
Many said that James Bond blamed himself for his partner, and that he had no desire to live without him because of that. They said he wanted revenge. It was clear that everyone who remembered Alec Trevelyan did so fondly. If that would change with the rumours that he was a traitor she could not know.
Alec did not know what he wanted. He told M that he would submit willingly to any punishment they saw as fit.
"I think that you have been punished already Alec," M said slowly. "You still can not remember everything. You were captured and you were used, and you have suffered for it. Tell me Alec, could you have done anything to avoid being captured?"
He shook his head ruefully. "No, it was a trap, they wanted us to get in, they wanted us to reach a certain point, and then they were going to take the both of us." He smiled sadly. "They got me, but James was too good, he is the best, and they forgot about that."
"And you are not angry at James for leaving you there?" This was the important thing. If Alec harboured any anger to James for having been left behind they could not keep him near James. Had James not left him they would never have gotten Alec.
"No, he believed I was dead. He saw them shoot me. He could not know that I did not die." Alec rubbed a tiered hand over his eyes. "James did everything right. It was I who was the failure. Not good enough to pull off the mission, and then I allowed myself to be tricked by lies."
"You could not know that it was lies." M told him.
"I was trained to be an agent, I should have been able to tell that they lied. Instead I was pulled in and allowed them to turn me into becoming what I had always fought against. I failed utterly and James would have done well to kill me when he had the chance." Alec's voice was void of any emotion.
"We wanted you back alive Alec, because we found out that you were tricked." This was difficult, Alec took all the blame on himself. Something that spoke highly of his character, but it also made it more difficult to help him. M believed that Alec deserved another chance.
"We'll assign you quarters here Alec. You should not leave this base, but you may move around more or less as you want. We shall also see if we can find you something to do that you feel comfortable with." She tried not to sound to stern.
"Are you going to allow me to walk around on my own?" He asked, and for the first time there was an emotion in his voice. There was surprise there.
"I see no reason why not Alec. I do not think that you are a risk. I think that you were a victim, and that you blame yourself more than you should. I would like to give you the chance to become at ease with yourself again."
"James will not like it, he is your best agent, you should not go against his wish." Alec was still looking a slight bit confused.
"James should grow up a bit. I am not going to lock you into a cell Alec. I know that James did that. I know that he also denied you food and water because he was harbouring petty jealousy, he has no room to talk in this."
M had been furious to hear of that part of it. Alec had been in bad shape when he was brought in because of it. Half starved and badly dehydrated. His injuries had not been taken care of. He had been delirious because of the neglect, and that was not how M had said he should be treated. Alec had just called James their best agent, well Alec had been the best as well, and that was something James should keep in mind a little more often.
"James had every right to do what he did. It was all my fault, and considering what I did to him, I would not blame him if he did kill me."
"I would Alec, and so would a lot of other people here." M said firmly. "Do you believe in giving people second chances Alec."
"I've meet people who have deserved a second chance." Alec nodded slowly.
"I believe that you deserve one." M said. "You were one of our best agents according to the record. Considering what you did for us, you deserve a second chance."
"What if I should fail?" Alec tried. "Would it not be better to stick me in some prison rather than to risk that?"
"Some would say that." M nodded slowly. "I know a few who would suggest it. But I am not going to do that. It would be cruel, and I do not think you will fail. You have friends Alec, people who would be more than willing to help you. They will not allow you to fail."
So there Alec was, with no idea of what he should do. He could get around now, he limped badly, but not so badly he could not walk. He just did not have anywhere to go to. He recalled a few places, and could find his way there with a few wrong turns, but why should he go there? Who would want to see him coming around the corner?
He had been assigned to a small room in an out of the way corner. A place where he would not be bothered, where no one would have to bother about him. It was small with only a few pieces of furniture. The walls were a yellow cream colour, the one that could be found in any kind of official building. It did not bother Alec. It was a lot better than the cell, and he had lived in worse places.
He could only remember a few things from the orphanage where he had grown up, but he could not recall it as a place of luxuries. One of the few things he could remember from that place was a woman who lived near with her husband. She had four grown children that had already married and moved away, and she missed them.
So sometimes she would come to the orphanage with a few cookies she had baked. Alec remembered her for one reason in particular. Once when he had been eight or so he had been ill, and she had stayed with him for some time to keep him company. She had told him a story, and it had made him feel better.
M had told him that they would give him therapy for his memory, so that he would be able to remember more. He supposed that would be a good thing. Only being able to remember the bad things you had done wore on you. It would be nice to remember one or two of the good things you did as well.
This is the end of chapter one, I will respond to all signed reviews with the new feature. Thank you, all of you for reading.