Robert paced the floor of the library agitated and uneasy. It had been over an hour since his last report and he was anxious. Did it always take so long? Was everything all right? Good heaven – it was more than he could bear to think about.
"Do sit down Robert, you will achieve nothing but tire yourself that way" Violet scolded gently. He knew she did not mean it as a criticism, not this time at least, but it still gave him a prickle of irritation.
"I can't sit down mother, how could I?" he moved to the window and looked out upon the falling light of the day as night begun its descent. "It's my whole life up there" he said softly, almost to himself. It was a good thing he was not looking at his mother or he would have seen her eye roll, although her small 'humph' was not missed, but he chose to ignore it. How much longer? Was she alright?
His head whipped to the door as it opened, however his hopes of any news were dashed when he saw the young footman Carson enter with a tray of tea and sandwiches. His mother had called off dinner and he was grateful, he couldn't stand the thought of sitting at the table and trying to eat and focus on conversation when Cora was upstairs in pain. A flash of panic crossed his heart making him lose his breath as the sound of a scream echoed down the stairs through the open door. He made several steps toward the door murmuring his wife's name.
"Shut that door!" Violet snapped to Carson who hurried to complete the task. Turning to Robert she spoke equally as roughly, "Come and sit Robert" then lowering her voice and softening it somewhat she made an attempt to comfort her son, "She is fine Robert, that is how these things go"
"But Mama, I think maybe I should check, she sounded … my gosh, she sounded awful." His face was almost white, surely that wasn't normal was it? It worried him and horrified him at the same time. The female body had an entire breed of medical issues that Robert had no interest in finding out about, but he did worry for Cora. She had screamed, in pain. He rubbed his head with his hands and moved to the chair his mother had demanded him occupy.
"No Robert, a husband has no place in that room. I can assure you, it is all very normal. It is called labor my dear, it is not easy. Now eat a sandwich and pour me some tea" Violet was never what one would call warm and fuzzy, but in this instance Robert knew her bossiness came from a desire to keep him occupied and stop him from worrying. She wished Patrick was there, that he had not had to go to London the day prior, that he was not so suddenly under the weather, but sometimes it did no good to hope for things – it very rarely helped anything.
Cora's head dropped forward against her chest, her hair sticky with sweat, her chest panting for air, her body screaming in pain. No-one had told her it would be like this. She could not have imagined in her wildest dreams it would be this way. She was exhausted, she had been in labor for more than 20 hours and the pain had increased with each passing hour. She bit down on her lip and lifted her head trying to make out the words the doctor was saying. Did he say push or don't push? She felt as though she had no choice and she took a deep breath and pushed hard against the pain. Surely this time? She felt no relief fro the pain, heard no baby cry – she was still in labor – she wanted it to end and she let out a frustrated yell and gripped the sheet harder under her hands. Pillows were propped up behind her helping her lean forward, her legs pulled up to her chest. Her mother was next to her, stroking her back and helping her keep her tired leg up. Rosamund stood on the other side and gently touched her shoulder. The nurse stood beside the doctor and had been busily scurrying things back and forth as he needed. If Cora had taken the time to think about this situation she would have been embarrassed, this young Dr had his hands on her bare knees, her legs spread wide, he had literally seen all of her. But at this point Cora could have cared less. She would have welcomed every footman in the house into her room right now if they could get this baby out.
"Cora, push darling. You need to push" her mother's voice was forceful and Cora felt like a little girl when she cried back.
"It hurts, momma, it hurts" she didn't think she could actually do this. It had been hours and hours of contractions and pain, followed by more than 2 hours of pushing and still no baby. She wanted to cry, but it would be too much effort to do so, and the pain was taking first priority in her brain, she couldn't even think straight.
"You can do it Cora, you are so strong darling" her mother's voice was strangely gravely, if Cora had been more aware she would have noticed that her mother had tears in her eyes.
"I can't!" she said, flopping her head back to her chest in exhausted defeat.
"Lady Downton" the Dr spoke forcefully and she looked at him through heavy and deep breaths. "Your baby needs you to push now. You can do this, when I say push I need you to push as hard as you can and then it will be over." Cora was shaking her head no, she couldn't take the pain any longer and pushing just made it worse. "Yes!" Dr Clarkson said strongly, "Yes you can … ready, hold your breath and push, Push now!" Cora took a deep breath, pushed her head down to her chest, gripped the sheets and pushed harder than she ever had. "A little more" the Dr urged. She felt her mother's hand on her back and a thought of holding her baby flashed through her mind in an instant and she pushed harder letting out a great cry of pain and exertion. She was sure they had heard her cry all the way in the village. Once she could push no more she flopped against the pillows feeling the immense sensation of relief between her legs. The pain had practically evaporated, and as she slid her head to the side she both saw and heard her baby at the same time. She had done it. She was a mother, she had made Robert a father – they had a baby. She closed her eyes and cried tears of joy.
Robert had managed two bites of his sandwich and a sip of his tea before he had to stand again. He rubbed his hands against the outside of his pants as he walked over to the bookshelves. It was too long, it had nearly been a full day – she had to be alright. Good heaven, he would never forgive himself if something happened to her. It was his doing .He had made her pregnant, he had been the reason she was here, it was his doing, his fault. He leaned against the bookshelf as the door opened and he held his breath. When he saw his sister walk through his heart stopped and he waited for her to speak.
"Congratulations brother dear, mama, you are now the proud father and grandmother of a …" Robert didn't wait to hear another word but bolted to the door.
"Robert!" Violet called after him, but he was long gone. The baby was here, he was able to see his wife, he had a … a? A child … although what kind he wasn't sure. Taking the stairs two at a time he made his way up the stairs and knocked quickly and waited. He could hear the shuffling of feet and the murmuring voices behind the door. He caught the sound of Cora's voice and his heart leapt in his chest. She was ok. After what seemed like several minutes the door opened and he came face to face with a young maid carrying a basket of linens. She let him pass before exiting the room. Robert stood in the entrance of the room his eyes fixed on the bed. He felt the air catch in his throat and blinked twice to keep tears away. His mother in law and the doctor were in the room still, and there on the bed was Cora. She looked up at him and a tired smile graced her face and he became undone. A tear ran down his face and he rushed to the bed to sit next to her and kissed her cheek.
"Oh Cora" he whispered in her ear, "I thought I had lost you" she reached up and touched the side of his face and leaned against his head with her own.
"I am fine darling, tired, but fine" she assured him. The doctor gave a little bow and left the room, Martha Levinson stood on the corner holding the tiny bundle … his tiny bundle. His baby.
"Robert, would you care to meet the latest Crawley" Martha said happily. "Such a beautiful baby, so much like her mother" she said as she carried the baby towards Robert. He opened his eyes wide and felt his heart beat faster. A girl! His daughter. He looked at Cora with a stunned expression.
"A girl?! We have a daughter?" he was amazed, unbelievably amazed and felt so much love for this little girl and he hadn't even seen her. Cora dropped her gaze slightly and nodded.
"Yes, a little girl Robert. … are you terribly disappointed?" she asked softly. Martha had reached Robert's side of the bed and placed the tiny dark haired girl in his arms. He felt his heart might explode in happiness. He was the proud father of this beautiful little girl, his wife was alive and well. He felt like a king. Leaning down and placing a gentle kiss against his daughter's head he then looked across at Cora.
"Cora, I am so happy, so very happy, I feel my heart might explode in my chest." He said with a large smile. "I am so proud of you darling, you have now not only made me a husband, but a father too"
Cora smiled and leaned back against the pillows, exhaustion finally taking hold of her. "I am glad darling, I want to make you happy" she said softly.
"You have, you have made me so very happy." And that was the last she heard as she closed her eyes and drifted into her first sleep as a mother.