This is my first story for Hetalia! (Human names are used) I'm so happy to be doing this story cause the idea has been bugging me to get on paper… or I guess on the computer. Anyway this will either be a one or two shot… I'm not entirely sure yet, but anyway! Please enjoy!
The long limbed light hair man, who usually would sit tally sat, slumped over a table in front of him scribbling words on paper. This man named Ivan who is the embodiment of Russia sits in the solitude of his house. He believes that he is safe in his empty house with all of the others that usually inhabit his house away to different places. Ivan keeps scribbling in his journal, and he is so entrapped in his writing that he does not notice the silver haired man that had welcomed himself into Ivan's home.
The silver haired, red-eyed man named Gilbert shuffled over to Ivan, hoping to scare the usual emotionless country, and then softening him up with some drinks. Gilbert looks over the slumped over country, and he reads the words that Ivan has finished writing, and is now rereading himself:
Unknown-
Protect me for I am weak.
Hold me for I feel no warmth.
Love me because I cannot love.
Befriend me because I have no friends.
Hurt me because I haven't hurt myself enough.
Hit me because I don't have bruises yet.
Label me for I am who I am only to be targeted.
Abandon me because you are all I have left.
Save me because I am in danger.
Teach me because I haven't learned.
Remember me because we're together.
Comfort me because I am scared.
Fear me because I've had enough.
Damn me because I refused you.
Forget me because we are done.
Kill me because I want to live.
The embodiment of Prussia stepped back from the still engaged Ivan, but while trying to sneak away he tripped over an uneven floorboard. Gilbert fell to the ground with a loud smack that alerted the larger nation to the intrusion. Purple eyes lock onto red ones, and Ivan gets up from his seat, while doing his best in hiding his journal.
"Oh. Gilbert, when did you get here?" The taller man asks while watching Gilbert get up from the ground.
"As always the awesome me came in a long time ago without you even noticing! So, what were you doing before I got here?"
"Oh, nothing..." Ivan trails off, and struggles to hide the book behind his back.
"Hey… Ivan what are you hiding there?" Red eyes glint with curiosity while asking this question.
"It's nothing Gilbert. Don't worry about it," Ivan presses the journal into his back as if he pushed hard enough that it would disappear into his jacket.
"Oh come on Ivan you can tell the awesome me…" Concerns drips off of Gilbert's words, and that in itself scares Ivan.
"Whatever I do in my spare time is none of your business Gilbert. Now why don't you just leave here because you are no longer welcome!"
Gilbert stands in place at the larger country's statement until Ivan speaks again, "Are you going to leave on your own or will I have to force you out Gilbert?"
The silver haired man trudges out of the larger ones room, and heads to the door, but not without one last glance at Ivan who was now clutching the aged journal that was slowly but surely coming apart.
Back at Ludwig's house
"I can't believe how he was acting West! I mean you should have seen him! He was hiding something from the awesome me! Did he really think that I wouldn't notice?!"
Ludwig sighs at his brother's hyperness, despite having to run all the way here, "Well… What was he hiding bruder?"
Gilbert's eyes widen when he realizes that he had completely forgotten about the earlier discovery he had made. "Oh! West thanks for reminding me! Did you know that Ivan keeps a journal?"
"You mean like the collection you have?"
"What? Of course not! I have manly stuff in there, like how awesome I am!"
"Then what was in it?"
Gilbert realizes again that he was getting off track, "It was poems… I only read one of them though… And to be honest bruder I'm a bit worried about it."
Ludwig looks up to his brother from the book that had caught his attention earlier, "What are you worried about? If it's just about Ivan writing poetry, then I don't see the problem."
"No West it isn't about that. It was what the poem was about. It was pretty much suicidal…"
"Did you talk to him about it bruder?"
"No, he kicked me out before I could… And I was honestly a bit freaked out from it."
"Bruder I think you should talk to him about it… Because if that's really what he's writing he needs help bruder."
"Yeah I know… But I'm going to wait until tomorrow… I don't want him to kill me when I get there."
Ludwig sends a questioning glance at Gilbert, but he understands well enough just by his brother's everyday behavior. Gilbert drags himself to his room in the basement, and spends the night thinking over and over about the poem that Ivan had been writing…
The next day at Ivan's house
Gilbert glares at the door in front of him as if to open it with his will. He didn't think it would be this nerve racking to confront Ivan about this, but his instincts were screaming at him to run away from this house, but Ludwig had made it very clear to him this morning that he wouldn't allow Gilbert back in the house until he had confronted Ivan about the poem.
Gilbert quietly knocked on the door, half hoping that there would be no answer, but the door soon cracked open to a purple eye glaring at Gilbert.
"Hey, Ivan! The awesome me needs to talk to you!"
The door begins to close, but a foot attached to Gilbert stops it, "Please…" Gilbert half begs.
A sigh is heard from behind the now open door. Without another word Ivan leads Gilbert into the study where they had been the night before. Ivan sits at the desk and motions Gilbert to also sit, and he obliges to the Russian's wishes. Ivan pushes the worn journal toward his worried friend, and opens it to the last five pages with the unspoken order to read them. Instead of picking up the frail book Gilbert just looks down to read.
Dominance-
I am weak.
It is strong.
I flee.
It fights.
I run.
It plays.
I flinch away from love and kindness.
It uses kindness to lure you in.
I fake my emotion.
It feels no emotions.
I hunger for companionship.
It craves for satisfaction.
I live alone.
It hunts alone.
I listen to you.
It observes you.
These are two sides of the same person.
The predator and the prey.
They fight for dominance.
Which one is winning?
Which one are you?
Gilbert takes a short break and looks up to look at Ivan, while thinking is this really what he thinks? A hard look is all his own is replied by, so he keeps reading.
Blood,
Now a binding forever
Such a thing to be endeavored,
Life is a liquid, sucked to an end,
A soul, a new, Where to send?
Lost in depths of unknown futures,
Such a relationship, it's answers, spoken within Sutrus,
Blood is a binding, now or never,
Risk your life,
A Medieval Sacrifice...
Does Ivan really need help? Gilbert turns the page.
Death,
In which there are secrets that never satisfy,
The yearn to learn,
Mysteries unveiled,
Only at Death's turn,
Do you know what is real?
Dare to venture forth into the darkness,
You may never return,
Death now has your soul,
NOW WATCH IT BURN...
I must have been right to worry… Gilbert continues to read.
True Tears-
Do not cry for what can be fixed.
Do not cry for what can be replaced.
Do not cry for what does not matter in life.
Only cry for what life has lost.
What is with this one? Gilbert looks at Ivan, but Ivan dismisses him by nodding his head back to the book.
Knowing Me-
If you really knew me, you'd know the pain of dreams.
You'd know how much effort it takes to write what the soul feels.
You'd know my stress and anger has reason and yet no one notices the truth.
You'd know lies are suicide in their own way.
You'd know life has no real truth.
You'd know Death has no end and mere existence is pure purgatory.
If you really knew me, you'd understand this without question or confusion.
The question is, do you really know me?
With a final look to his friend the book is taken from him, and with out saying anything Gilbert leaves, but before he slips out the door where Ivan was waiting to shut it Gilbert whispers, "I understand now Ivan."
Yep this is a one shot… The poems are all from Buddha Wolf, and are not mine! Everyone make sure to check out her stories okay? I got this idea after I was talking to her one day, and her poems formed the story in my head…
To those who do not understand the poems I am sorry, because this story will not make sense if you don't.
I hope you all enjoyed! This was my first time doing third person so I'm sorry if it was hard to read at times!
Please review!