Between the Gone and Me

(A/N: Notes: Sequel to "Between Life and Fear of Death." This one takes place also in "The Wrath of Khan," right after Spock's (temporary!) death.)

Saavik left the memorial as soon as she possibly could. She wanted to get as far away as she could from that place, that place where death seemed to be in the air itself.

Spock was gone. She just couldn't believe it, yet it was so true. It might have been silly, but growing up in the Academy, under his leadership, she had almost believed the legendary Vulcan to be indestructible. He wasn't someone who died. He was just...there, always had been and always would be.

But now Saavik saw just how terribly naive that was. Spock was, undeniably, dead. He had given up his own life to save the crew of the Enterprise.

Saavik looked in the mirror on the wall of her quarters, and, for a second, she thought she looked fifteen years older, and not in a good way.

Bzzzzztt. The ringer on her door buzzed. She ignored it. Bzzzzztt. Bzzzzztt. Somebody really wanted to talk to her. "Oh, come in", she snapped, "or stay out! But don't stand there ringing my doorbell till Vulcan's midnight!"

The doors slid open, and David Marcus entered. Saavik almost groaned. "What is it you wish to say to me, Mr. Marcus?"

"Saavik," he replied gently, "how many times have I told you to call me David?" Saavik didn't answer. It was an illogical question - shouldn't he know himself? "I wanted to talk to you," he said, "but not here. Come on, let's get something to eat."

When they were seated, David said, "I wanted to talk to you, about what you said before. At the scientific research facility?"

"Yes, David?"

"Do you believe we lost? We won, because we were "willing to win", but do you believe that the fact that Spock had to die to accomplish that, makes it a loss?"

"Well...no, and yes. No, because logic dictates that if we won, we won. It would not be the logical thing to say, to count it as loss."

"But yes because...?"

"Because..." A sob caught in Saavik's throat, and unshed tears burned her eyes like acid. "It's...emotional, David. Illogical. Emotional. I shouldn't feel emotion. I am a Romulan."

"I thought you were a-"

"I also have the blood of the Vulcan people in me. All the more logical reason for me not to feel!"

"Everyone feels, Saavik." David stared hard at her. "You...loved him, didn't you? Spock. I mean, not really loved him, but...a crush, you know, a fascination. You wanted him, to put it one way."

Saavik gave a barely perceptible nod.

David hesitated. "Can...can I tell you something? You know you also said I was a lot like Admiral Kirk?"

"Yes."

"There's a reason for that, you know, a legit reason."

"Legit?"

"Legitimate. Logical."

"Oh. What reason?"

"He's my father."

"Why - why do you tell me this?"

"Because you told me your secret. And...because I like you, Saavik. I want to be your friend." He smiled. Come on, I'll walk you home, if you want."

"It would be most pleasant."

When they arrived back at Saavik's door, David smiled widely at her, and said, "Goodnight, and sleep well." Then he launched himself into verse. "But you see the shelter as the storm/Hold you in to keep you warm/You are everything to me/This is why/I have to leave/So sleep well, my angel."

"David, I do not understand the meaning behind this."

He laughed. "It's just a song, Saavik. From an old twenty-first century Earth rock group."

But as the doors slid shut, separating them, it seemed to Saavik that when David called her "my angel" and brazenly claimed that, "you are everything to me", it meant so much more than the words of an old Earth song.

End of Pt. 2

(A/N: If anyone can name the song David sings and the "twenty-first century Earth rock group" who did it, I will be thrilled, and you will receive recognition in the notes for the next story, "Between Love and Logic." Full-blown ship coming soon, guys!)