Rise's Eternal Silence
By TheBlackKid
Chapter 1 – The Silent Truth
"*sigh*"
This was me. Rise Matsumoto. Repeatedly sighing in a depressed state as I stared out the window of a passenger train taking us back home. What I said to myself last night was still rumbling in my head.
"…And what's worse is that she keeps blaming herself. I keep telling her that it's not her fault, but…*sigh* but I can't do much in terms of curing depression.
And the fact that she's still suffering is hurting my heart every day. And with the eternal silence that plagues my life without any rest, I'm just as miserable as her.
And I don't think I can hide it much longer, either…"
I did say that. And I can't deny it, either. I'm just as depressed as my girlfriend Akari. Probably more, at this point. But's not like anyone can notice it.
…
Well…there is one person.
"Hey, Rise. You okay?"
"Huh? Oh. Hey, Akari. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking to myself. Nothing to worry about."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. I'm fine. Really, I am."
"Okay. If you say so then. I'm going to go back talking with Chinastu."
"Alright."
Once Akari was far enough from me, I banged my head onto the seat in front of me in self-anger.
"Damnit! Why the hell did I say that?! It wasn't true! None of it was true! I'm miserable right now!"
Then after the anger came the sadness once again.
"*sniff* Am I really that scared of talking to even tell my girlfriend the truth? That my *sniff* depression started around the time she lost her eye in that accident? And I've *sniff* been hiding it ever since? I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case."
As I continued to cry to myself, another memory of last night came to mind. Another sad one, too. One that I wish wasn't true, but I'm starting to believe it is.
"Akari…I'm sorry. I've been trying to protect you for so long. But…someone like me can't do that. Not with my shyness. *sniff* I'm sorry. I really am. You deserve better than the girl who no one can hear…
Rise Matsumoto."
*sniff* The truth…it hurts so damn much.
*TWO MONTHS LATER…*
"Gah! Wh-What? H-Huh?!"
*INSERT ANIME MOVIE ENDING THEME HERE*
"Oh. I fell asleep. And I wanted to see this movie, too. Good thing I recorded it, anyway."
I reached over for the clock next to my bed and looked at the current time.
"It's 3:00 in the morning. And from that last burst, I'm wide awake. *sigh* And of all nights, too. I just can't catch a break from this feeling of failure, can I?"
I got up from my bed and headed for the kitchen to grab something to drink. Then just seconds later, I was back in my bed. Quietly talking to myself.
God, I hate that word.
"*sigh* Aside from the TV playing, it sure is quiet around here. Kinda like me, in a way. As much as I don't like comparing myself to stuff like this.
Was it really a good idea for me to do this?"
This "idea" I'm talking about is that I recently moved out of my parent's house. I currently live in a small apartment that's closer to Shinohara. Not "close" close. It's still a train ride and a few blocks away. But it still is closer than my parent's house. Which gives me an extra hour and a half to sleep.
It's…not all good, though. As the reason I moved out is because I got into a fight with the two of them. And long story short, I'm…on my own for my final year of high school. And pretty much…forever.
But…like I care, though. They never really did understand me. Figurately and literally. I was just as alone there as I am right here right now.
This feeling of loneliness. It's a constant feeling I get because of my extreme shyness. It haunts me. Like how a ghost haunts an abandoned house. It's a never-ending cycle of loneliness and silence.
I wish I could get rid of it. But for the exact same reasons, I just can't do it. And I've tried so many times, too. All were failed attempts. And the only result I gained from it all was that I would end up crying to myself in a fierce cloud of depression.
I don't even know how I became cursed with such a tormented feeling in the first place.
…
…
A-Actually…I-I think I kinda do.
*BEGIN FLASHBACK*
Rise Matsumoto
Age 6
First Day of Kindergarten
"…Let's all have lots of fun together!"
*Everyone claps*
"That was really nice. Okay, who's next?" The teacher asked.
I slowly raised my hand. Then stood up from my chair and prepared to speak as everyone laid their eyes on me.
"M-My name is…R-Rise Matsumoto. I-I like…t-t-to draw things. N-Nice to…m-m-meet you all."
That's when everyone stared at me with a blank stare on their tiny kid faces. At first, I didn't know why.
But then…
"Bahahaha! Her voice sounds so weird! What a freak!" One boy called out. Which, as a result, made the rest of the class laugh and call me a freak.
It was horrible. So many people pointing at me. Laughing at me. Calling me names like freak, creepy girl, and Annabelle (which I now know is a creepy possessed doll that kills people). The fact that I was compared to THAT because of my voice…
I remember crying so much that I ran out of the room in pure and utter sadness. But then I also remember a few kids following me outside just so they can continue to laugh at me and call me names. The teacher did eventually forced everyone to stop. But it was too late.
The damage was already done.
*END FLASHBACK*
Yeah. So that's what started it all. And since then, my monotoned girly voice has only dwindled in sound. To the point where it can't be heard by anyone. With a few exceptions…somehow.
"*sigh* Akari, Nishigaki, and one other girl. I've tried so hard to keep my "creepy" voice locked up inside me. But somehow, those three can hear me. Granted, they're really nice people. And they understand me well, too. One of them is even my girlfriend. But even then…it's because of my shyness that Akari lost her eye.
I've always wanted to tell her to quit that weird "club" she was in. I've heard the stories of how she kept getting ignored and forgotten. I wanted to tell her. I really did. But I was too damn shy! Even to my own girlfriend! And now look what happened to her!
I know that everyone believes that Kyouko's to blame for it all. Hell, even Kyouko herself believes that. She even attempted suicide with that in mind.
But for me…I blame myself. If I would've told Akari how I felt about that Amusement Club earlier, she wouldn't still be in it. She wouldn't have faced that accident and lost her eye. Causing her depression. And eventually Kyouko's depression and suicide attempt. And this whole mess could've been avoided.
…
It probably wouldn't have cured my own depression. But making Akari happy is my number one priority."
…
But I couldn't even do that right…
*Good morning. And welcome to the 5 o' clock news. I'm your anchor…*
"S-Seriously?! It's already 5 in the morning?! Was I really talking for that long?!"
After calming down from that realization, I wrapped myself around the extra blankets of my futon and tried to get some sleep.
After all. In just two hours, I start my final year in high school.
*SOUND OF AN ALARM*
"*moan* It's time already? That went by too fast."
I sat up from my futon and looked at the TV again. The news from two hours ago was still on. Possibly showing repeats from its first-hour airing plus the new stuff. Right now, it was on the weather.
*Today, Monday, April 8th, marks the 157th day of this unexplained out-of-placed weather. Local government officials are still figuring out the cause. But with it already being April, it may not seem out-of-place at this time.*
"Oh, yeah. This weather. Isn't Ayano's guardian Haruka working on that? Surprised that it's taking this long."
I then begin getting ready for school. Putting on the white dress shirt, red necktie, and green-ish checkered skirt combo that is the Shinohara High School Summer Uniform. The fact that the same size still fits me after three years of wearing it is a…mixed feeling. To put it simply.
It's good because I never had to request a bigger size the entire time.
It's bad because…
"*sigh* Here I am, turning 18 next month, and I still have these tiny breasts." I complained to myself as I cupped my breasts to the best of my abilities. "I may look like I don't really care, but it honestly stings a lot that some of the younger people I know have a bigger chest than me.
Especially Himawari. How did she get so lucky?"
*SOUND OF AN ALARM*
"Dang it. I gotta go."
I placed my futon away, turned off the TV, and headed out the door. Leaving my quiet place and entering the outside world.
The same world that locks me inside an eternal silence.
The walk to the train station, the train ride itself, and the walk from the train station isn't really a problem for me. It's when I get near Shinohara is when I start feeling depressed. Mainly because I'm surrounded by other students. Girls and boys alike. Holding conversations with each other. Some of them are even couples (gay & straight).
I really wish I can hold conversations like that. Chatting away with my friends about random topics like "What was on TV last night?" or "Did you finish the homework last night?" or stuff like that. But with my monotoned voice being "unnerving" to most people, I can't enjoy such a thing.
The only people I can at least TRY to hold such conversations with are Nishigaki, the girl I mentioned before, and…
"Rise!"
"Gah!"
I suddenly felt a tight force grasp around my body. And knowing my current life right now, I knew exactly who it was.
"H-Hey, Akari. Nice to see you."
"What? That's it? We're finally in the same school again and that's all you got?"
"Well, what were you expecting? A red carpet entrance?"
"Well, it depends. Do you have a red carpet?"
"Now why would I have a red carpet with me?"
"I don't know, Rise. I mean, we do break the 4th wall a lot. I figured you would have something."
"That's some crazy thinking, Akari. Granted, it's 100% true."
I then gave her the best thing I could give her in this situation. A kiss on the cheek. She finally then let me go and I was able to see her wearing Shinohara's summer uniform.
It looks so cute on her…
"Geez, Akari. Running off like that just because you saw your girlfriend in the distance." We were then joined by Chinastu. Also wearing the uniform. I guess was walking alone with Akari. The two are really good friends. But Chinastu does often tease Akari about her relationship with me.
Despite being in one herself.
"*giggle* Sorry, Chinastu. I was just so excited. I mean, besides seeing Rise, it is our first day of high school."
"Yeah, I can understand you on that. I've been waiting for this day since I started middle school."
That long?! Why?!
"You sure do look eager, Chinastu." Akari said with a sweatdrop. Probably shocked by her response as well.
"Hey, guys." We were then called out by the now second-years of our group of friends. Being Yui, Ayano, Chitose, Chizuru, and Tsu. Rukia wasn't with them. Probably taking a limo here. Like any rich girl would.
"Hey, everyone!" Akari and Chinastu cheered greatly.
"Well, you two seem excited." Yui said.
"Well, can you really blame us? It IS our first day of high school." Chinastu replied.
"Yeah, I can see that."
"Speaking of which, where are those two? They better not be arguing again." Ayano said.
"W…W-We…made it! Gah!"
We saw Sakurako stumbling towards us. Nearly out of breath from running all the way here. With Himawari walking shortly behind.
"Why are you out of breath?" Akari asked.
"*pant* I *pant* I *pant* I Gaaaaaaah!"
"She woke up late because she and Kaede were up late at night playing video games. As usual." Himawari explained for Sakurako.
"Y-Yeah…that."
"Saw this coming from a mile away." Chizuru said.
"Hey, don't Kaede and Mari start 1st grade today?" Chitose asked.
"1st grade? I thought they were 5-year-olds." Tsu said.
"They recently turned 6." Yui said.
"And even then, they're still the youngest 1st graders in their class." Himawari added.
Both girls had a mixed look of proudful for their sister/cousin and downright shame for themselves. Knowing that two 6-year-olds are no doubt smarter than them.
And the rest of us.
"I-I see…" Tsu said with a sweatdrop. "S-So, anyway…looks like we're only waiting for…"
*LIMO HORN NOISE*
We then saw a big limousine pull up in front of us. And from it came out, you guessed it, Rukia. Showing off her rich lifestyle once again.
"Greetings, everyone. The Great Volleyball Queen Rukia-sama has made her appearance. Ohhohoho!"
"Snooooooot."
"Quit saying that!" Rukia yelled at Ayano and Tsu.
"Uh…am I missing something?" I asked Akari.
"Ayano and Tsu started teasing Rukia one day because of how she likes to brag about being rich. And they haven't stopped since."
"And they're still friends and teammates?"
"From what I've heard, they tease each other all the time. It's more like a three-way tease triangle."
"I see…"
"*whine* R-Rukia…d-do I really have to come out?" We heard a voice from inside the limo.
Someone's still in there?
"Come on, cousin. I already gave you the ride here. What else do you want?"
"Uh, my scarf!"
"I already told you. It's against the school dress code. I did the best I could with the make-up. Now, come out already!"
"*whine* Fine."
The owner of the voice finally came out of the limo. And it turned out to be Kyouko. Wearing the Shinohara uniform like the rest of us.
But it wasn't the thing that we were noticing.
"W-Whoa! K-Kyouko, your scar is showing!" Sakurako yelled out.
"S-See?! People are looking!"
"That's because we all know about it, cousin." Rukia retorted to her cousin.
What Rukia said about the scarf is true. It would be out of dress code here. And since Kyouko's going to school here, she can't wear it. Making her scar exposed to the world around her.
"*whine* This is going to be a rough first year."
"Oh, yeah. You're a first-year aren't you, Kyouko?" Chitose asked.
"Huh. A 17-year-old first-year student. That's new." Himawari said.
"Yeah, yeah. Rub it in, why don't you. I'm just glad I'm not stuck at home all day anymore."
"Fair enough."
"So, now that's all of us." Chinastu said as she started counted us all up. "5 first-years, 6 second-years, and 1 third-year. Oh! By the way, Rise. Does this mean that we have to start calling you Rise-senpai?"
"R-Rise-senpai?!
…
…
I-I mean…i-if you want to."
"She said it's fine with her."
"N-No, I didn't!" I yelled at Akari.
"Okay, then. Hope you help us lots. Rise-senpai." Chinastu said with a smile.
"We'll accept your guidance, Rise-senpai." The other girls said. Also with a smile across their faces.
"Aw, geez."
*INSERT CLASSIC JAPANESE SCHOOL BELL CHIME HERE*
"Well. It's time." Yui said.
"Alright! Time to start high school, bitches!"
*POW*
"Ouchie…"
"You just don't stop, do you?" Himawari said after hitting Sakurako in the head for her outburst.
As the rest started heading inside, I pulled Akari off to the side to get her attention.
"Hey! Why did you tell them I was okay with them calling me senpai?"
"Well, you are older, right? The oldest out of all of us."
"As of this moment, I'm the same age as the second-years."
"But that's only going to last for about a month, right?"
…
…
"Y-Yeah, but…"
"Come on. Just go with it. It's a sign of respect and everyone likes you."
"Yeah, but…*sigh* Alright, fine." I finally gave in. Making Akari laugh at my defeat.
"Come on, Akari! We wanna get good seats!" Chinastu called out.
"Coming!" Akari replied. "Well. See you later…Rise-senpai. *giggle*"
Akari then ran off to catch up with the other first-years. Leaving me alone to recall what just happened.
*sigh* This is going to be a long third-year…
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Story #4 begins! And it explores Rise's shyness as she deals with the depression that its caused. This won't be an easy one to overcome. That's for sure.
So along with Rise, Akari will also have a few POV's of her own. Since the two are a couple and all.
Also, by the way, all the characters except Yui and Rise have aged up by one at this point. Yui's birthday is April 22nd and Rise's birthday is May 23rd. The latter is the goal for this story.
Next chapter coming soon. Thanks for reading. Later.