A/N: One of my experimental stories. Have fun!

"Urg, why is the ground spinning so much? I never see it do anything like this...at least not since yesterday...or an hour ago...or was that last Tuesday?"

In a dark, narrow alleyway, a man was slowly coming to his senses. He was a large man, with a prominent gut, and had black hair along with a beard. The clothes he wore, a green shirt under a black vest, black pants, and sandals, were tattered and had various stains on them.

He also appeared to be somewhat drunk, judging from the smell of alcohol coming from him.

"I need a drink...where is it?" he said looking around until he spotted a canteen lying near him. "Ah, there it is."

Picking up the container, he proceeded to take a long drink from it, though drinking could be questioned as most of the liquid spilled down from his face onto his clothes rather than in his mouth.

"Much better," he nimbly hopped to his feet and strapped the canteen to his belt. "Now where am I?"

The man couldn't remember how he got to the alley, much less what happened before he woke up. One thing he knew, it was day, so he must've passed out last night, or a few hours ago...

He slowly stumbled to the entrance of the alley and onto the street of a bustling city.

"I was supposed to do something, but what was it?" he wondered out loud as he took another long swing. "...maybe if I walk around, it will come back to me, eventually..."

As the man stumbled down the street, canteen in hand and spilling its contents all on the pavement, he failed to notice the amount of destruction that was around him, the lack of people, and especially the large spaceship looming in the sky.

"I must say it is a lovely day. I wonder if everyone else is enjoying it...?"

Meanwhile...

Things were not going well for Class A Hero Rank 2, Iaian. The hero dressed as a knight was doing his darn best against the multiheaded monster that stood in front of him, but none of his attacks were doing anything against it. Any damage he did to the monster was instantly healed, it also didn't help when the monster was able to do insane amounts of damage with its bare hands.

"I can't keep evading its attacks," he thought as he sidestepped a lightning fast punch that destroyed concrete rubble behind him. "It is going to eventually hit me when I start to tire."

"How much longer are you willing to keep this up, weak one?" it said in a multi-disembodied voice. "Resistance is futile and your attacks are pointless."

"Until you fall, I will not cease monster!" he launched himself at the creature and landed multiple hits on it with his katana. He landed and saw all his work slowly being undone by the creature's regeneration.

"You are a pest!" the monster shouted as it shaped its hand into a blade and started to swing it with furor at the knight.

Iaian couldn't block any of those attacks and could only evade them. He doubted that he could withstand a hit from that thing, much less a glancing blow.

"Hmm, maybe I can't crush you...but I CAN crush your resolve!"

"What?"

Iaian didn't know what the monster was talking about until he noticed something in the corner of his eyes.

A drunk man stumbling around a couple hundred yards away from the two, a canteen of some sorts in a hand.

He thought all civilians were evacuated already, but apparently this man didn't know about considering his state.

"You will not harm him!" Iaian shouted.

"Make me," the monster said before disappearing.

"I didn't know there was a mountain here," the man drunkenly said as he tried to traverse the rocky rubble. He somehow was able to keep his balance though. "I need a drink."

He grabbed his canteen and was about to drink when he tripped and fell on the ground."Oof! Silly me..."

Unbeknownst to him, he didn't notice a large shadow appearing over him.

"Huh? Why did it turn dark...?"

X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Iaian could only watch in horror as the monster brought his fist down, sending up a large cloud of dust in the air.

"HAHAHAHA! Now you're next!" it said as it turned back to the hero.

Iaian gritted his teeth and was about to charge the monster when a voice stopped both of them in their tracks.

"You are one ugly motherfucker."

The two turned and saw the man standing off to the side, drinking his canteen before swiping his mouth his the back of his hand.

"Impossible!" the monster turned back and saw only a crater with no remains of the man.

"Sir! You must leave, this place is not safe for you!" Iaian shouted.

"Leave? Ha! Why would I leave without confronting this grotesque creature that tried to kill me?"

"You speak with great courage, but that will not save you!"

The monster charged the man and pulled back a fist, but never got to punch. The man had launched himself at the monster, spearing it in its stomach with his head.

The man proceeded to deliver a flurry of punches to the monster's heads before knocking it back with a backward flip-kick and landing perfectly on the ground. He took a quick drink before running towards the monster and slamming into it with his belly.

The impact was so strong the monster blew up into bloody pieces of flesh.

"Serves you right, grotesque one." he said as he took another swig and walked over to Iaian.

"Not bad for an old, drunk guy, huh?" he said to him.

"Sir, I don't think we're safe yet."

"Hm, why...? Oh..."

The man turned back and saw the monster, it was fully reformed and only had one head now with ten eyes, and it looked really PISSED.

"It seemed I underestimated you, now you will PAY HUMAN!" it said as it formed a hand into a large mallet.

The two were able to jump out of the way as the ground under them was crushed.

"Die, die, DIE, DIE!"

The man jumped on the monster's shoulders and pried opened its mouth.

"Drink up." he muttered and dumped the canteen's liquid into the monster's mouth.

The monster shook him off, but the man landed without injury. Suddenly, it started to convulse and dropped to its knees before vomiting up weird purple liquid and eventually things that looked like intestines.

The man walked up to the monster and noticed a bunch of marbles on the ground. He picked them up and eyed them with curiosity.

"No...NO!" the monster tried to reach for the marbles.

"Go to hell."

The marbles were crushed.

"Too much rice wine," the man said as he watched the monster liquify. "Tsk, amateur."

Then he vomited himself.

"Arg, hate when I do that." and went back to drinking.

He put down his canteen and turned to expressionless Iaian. "Say who are you?"

Iaian blinked before responding. "I am Iaian, A Class Rank 2 Hero."

"Hero huh? Heard you folks before, name's Chen."

Before Iaian could respond, the two heard some commotion behind them. He saw sevearl S Class Heroes running towards them, one of them being his master, Atomic Samurai.

"Iaian!" Atomic shouted. "I'm so glad you're ok. I thought you were a goner when I heard A-City was destroyed."

"I'm fine, master," he said. "Actually, I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for this man right here."

"Him? That fat drunk? Give me a break." Metal Bat said.

"I would watch your words, young man." Chen warned.

Before the situation could escalate, Bang stepped in and pushed Metal Bat behind him. "It's been a long time, Master Chen," Bang said with a slight bow.

"As with you Master Bang." Chen said back before drowning himself in his canteen's contents.

"Hold on, you know this drunk?" Metal Bat asked.

"Yes, me and him go way back. He's a master in drunken martial arts, as told by his current state, as well as a teacher like me. Say how are your students doing?"

"Good, good. I got separated from them a while back, but they'll be fine," he took another chug. "Hey, how's my former student doing? I never heard from him in a while, so I decided to visit him."

"Who's your former student?"

"I forgot his name, but I think you know him as Blast...?"

A/N: I heavily based Chen on Bo' Rai Cho from Mortal Combat. So many attentive readers can spot some references to Bo'.

Fun Fact: Bo' Rai Cho is a play on the Spanish word, borracho, which is drunk in Spanish.

Till next time,

-D.W