Mara laid face down on her bed, face and pillow wet with tears. She didn't know how long she had been there. The only thing that registered in her brain was all the hurt she was feeling in every fiber of her being. It hurt that Jerome had treated her like that, like a toy you could just pick up and put down at your will. It hurt that he lied to her. It hurt to know that he never truly cared about her. This near excruciating pain was then tripled by the fact that he wasn't sorry for any of it.
Finally gaining enough strength and courage, Mara sat up on her bed. Reaching into the top drawer of her bedside table she pulled out a pair of scissors. She examined them closely for a minute, turning them over and over in her hands, before she slid the sharp blade across her wrist. Setting the scissors down beside her, Mara watched as the blood oozed from the thin cut.
Too absorbed in her thoughts, Mara failed to hear the door open. "What are you doing?" asked Patricia.
"Nothing." Mara frantically covered her self-inflicted wound and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"What happened there?" Patricia pointed to her friend's wrist.
"Paper cut," answered Mara as calmly as she could. "That's all."
"I don't see any paper."
"I-I put it away."
"And how did this alleged paper manage to cut you on your wrist?" Patricia raised her eyebrows in suspicion. Mara didn't answer. "Mara, tell me the truth. Did you do this to yourself?" Patricia sat down next to Mara.
"What? No, don't be silly."
"The truth?"
"Fine," Mara sighed. "I cut myself."
"Why would you do that?"
"Jerome cheated on me." A few tears escaped the girl's eyes.
"Oh Mara, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay."
"Obviously it's not okay, but this," Patricia gestured toward Mara's wrist, "is not going to make it any better."
"How would you know?" asked Mara.
"I used to cut too. A couple years ago."
"You did?"
"Yes and it didn't help anything. In fact I think it made things worse."
"How so?"
"It kept me focusing on the bad things. It never let me see the bright side. There is a bright side."
"Can you tell me where? 'Cause I can't find it."
Patricia chuckled. "Well you're beautiful, and smart, and a really good person; I'm sure there are loads of people who would love to date you. Good people, who won't break your heart."
"You really think so?"
Patricia nodded.
"Well there is someone I've been kind of interested in for a while now…but I don't think they'd feel the same about me."
"How do you know if you never ask?"
"It's kind…"
"Complicated? I understand."
"I doubt it," Mara said as she buried her head in her pillow. "This isn't quite as simple as liking a boy who's already been taken."
"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Patricia.
Mara contemplated the idea for a minute. If she told someone she would feel so much better but there was a chance that Patricia would never talk to her again. Finally, she said, "Only if you promise not to tell anyone."
"I promise."
Mara took a deep breath before she started. "I have a crush…a major crush…on a girl." She said the last word as if the sound of it was filled with a deadly poison. Then she took another deep breath, looked Patricia in the eye and said, "I think I'm gay." For what seemed like an eternity Patricia just sat there, her mind most likely struggling to process this new bit of information about her friend. Mara was growing more and more nervous by the second so, to stop herself from exploding with anticipation, she kept talking. "I know I don't look like I'm gay but I am. You probably think I'm weird or gross or something and I understand but-"
"Mara, calm down. There's nothing wrong with being gay."
"There is if you're crushing on a straight girl," Mara said with a hint of a smile on her face.
"Can I ask who this straight girl is?"
"You…"
Then, out of nowhere, Patricia leaned over and kissed Mara right on the lips. After a few seconds she leaned back to look the girl in the eyes. "This straight girl'," she said, "Isn't so straight."