Pain. That was all he felt nowadays. He didn't feel joy or peacefulness. All he felt was pain and sorrow. 'How melodramatic,' he thought, 'but it's true.' He sighed with that knowledge, and walked even faster to his destination. 'I can't believe I'm actually about to do this.' He sighed again as he thought. He had never pegged himself as one of those types to turn to self-harm and suicide when things got too hard. He had thought himself stronger than that. The scars littering his arms, though, told a different story. The story of a boy in so much pain, he'd rather hurt himself than deal with it. It told the story of the boy who was in so much pain and sorrow that he couldn't go on another day. Who was this boy? His name was Ciel Phantomhive, and he had arrived at his destination, the school. He had chosen this place, because of the height of the building, it would guarantee death, but also because of the fact that this was where a lot of his pain originated. He slipped in through the window, and quickly made his way to the roof with no problems. With nothing in his way, no fence of anything, Ciel stood on the ledge of the 9 story building, thinking over his life. As he thought, he decided his decision was best for everyone. With that thought, he leaned over the ledge, but that was when a strong, pale hand grabbed his and stopped his descent. He was pulled against a hard chest and looked into piercing maroon eyes. He knew those eyes, they belonged to his philosophy teacher, Sebastian Michaelis. "Why?" Sebastian asked as he looked down at the teen with sadness in his eyes. Why was a very good question, indeed. That caused Ciel to think about everything he didn't want to.

One Year Before

Ciel woke up to incessant pounding on the front door. He, quickly, threw on some pants and a shirt before heading downstairs to answer the door. When he opened that door, though, his whole world crumbled. He wondered briefly, thinking back on it, that if he hadn't opened the door would his world still be intact? At the door stood two police officers, telling him that his parents had been murdered while on their business trip. Ciel listened to them and saw them off without crying, but when the door was closed and he was back in his room, he let everything out. What was he going to do now?! How could he live without them? He knew he was old enough to live on his own, but he didn't know how anything was going to work out. So, he cried and cried until he couldn't cry anymore.

He spent the next few days at home, composing himself, and dealing with the aftermath of his parents' death. He did go back to school the week after, though, and that was when hell started for him. He could usually deal with the taunting and teasing he got at school, but, after such a harsh time for him, it seemed the students had just increased the bullying, some even going so far as to say that he was the one who murdered his parents. He was about to take his anger out on the kid, but his hand was stopped by none other than Mr. Michaelis, who shook his head at him as if to tell him that it was a bad idea.

After that, he began to see a lot more of Mr. Michaelis. Ciel was in his class, and the teacher helped him catch up on the work he had missed when he was out. Eventually the two became friends, and Ciel used his classroom as a safe haven whenever he needed to get away from the other students. His torment by them hadn't stopped, no, it had only got worse. It was to the point now where he was even getting physically abused by the other students. He didn't know what he had done to warrant this behavior. Was it because he was cold and aloof to everybody? Was it because he didn't have any friends? Was it because his father had owned one of the biggest toy companies, and now that the Vice-President of the company took over, Ciel was no longer important? He didn't know, but he tried not to dwell on it, because it only bought even more depressing thoughts.

It was 6 months after, when Sebastian was sick, yes Ciel had taken to calling him Sebastian, that it happened. The thing that completely broke him. He had been on his way to Sebastian's classroom to see if the teacher was in, when he was grabbed. He struggled to get out of the person's hold, but it seemed that they were stronger than Ciel, and he was dragged to the boy's bathroom. He was let go, finally, but then he was pushed down to the floor. He stumbled and fell, his backside hitting the floor with a thud. That was when he decided to look up at his captors. It was a group of seniors, and they were all sneering down at him. He cringed. This did not look good. At all. Ciel tried to get up and run out of the bathroom, but he was swiftly pushed back down by a foot on his chest. "Trying to run, pretty boy?" The leader of the group, Claude, sneered. The others laughed, and their eyes turned even darker. Ciel didn't like that look at all, and he didn't like where this was heading at all. Claude laughed, "Don't worry, faggot, you're sure to like this." With that, he descended on Ciel. The other members of the group laughing the whole time, some even joining in.

By the end of the ordeal, Ciel was naked and covered in sweat, semen, and blood. They had decided to torture him and had brought a knife into it. So, Ciel was covered in cuts, some were deep, and he was bleeding from a very, very private place. Apparently they had never heard of preparation or lube, because they tore him up, literally. When they finally left the bathroom, Ciel curled up in himself and let himself cry. Not only had he been raped and assaulted, it was sure that his secret was going to get out. Everyone was going to know that he wasn't straight! He would ridiculed and harassed even more! He just wanted to curl up in the corner he was in and die. That's all he could think. Eventually, he pulled himself back together, washed himself off and got dressed again. He, then left the bathroom, and decided to skip the rest of the day, because he really needed to tend to his wounds and he didn't want anyone to know what had happened.

The days after that just got progressively worse. He couldn't walk down the hall without hearing the latest rumors about him, without hearing someone call him some derogatory name, without replaying that scene in his mind and wondering if it was going to happen again. He was literally in hell. He kept getting calls and messages on his phone from people he didn't know, saying some very nasty things. He couldn't even get get away from it at home! Everything they said and did haunted him, and that was when he got into the nasty habit of cutting. The first time he did it, he was so surprised at how well the pain made everything else go away. That's what got him hooked, and that was what put him into a spiral of self-destruction. Which led him to where he was today.

Sebastian was worried sick for Ciel. After some months of seeing each other every day, and growing a lot closer, Ciel just stopped coming to see him. His classroom seemed so empty without the blue eyed boy, especially at lunch time. He didn't what was going on, but he did see what the other students did and said to the poor boy, and he tried his damnedest to stop it. What can you do when the whole student body is bullying one person, though? There's not much you can do. The principal had been having more assemblies on bullying and things like that, but it seems it did no good, because it kept happening every single day. Sebastian didn't know what he could do to help Ciel, because if he went against the principal's orders, which was to leave it to him, then he would be fired. All he wanted to do, though, was hold the boy in his arms and tell him it would be okay while eliminating those who did anything to hurt his Ciel. Wait a minute, his Ciel? Sebastian laughed, this infatuation with the teen boy was getting him nowhere, and he didn't know what to do about said infatuation. So, he did all he could and watched over Ciel as best he could.

He eventually grew weary of just watching and took action, though. He was roaming the halls, looking for the ever elusive Ciel Phantomhive, when he came upon a group of Ciel's peers. He was never a big fan of eavesdropping, but, when he heard Ciel's name in their conversation, he knew that was what he had to do. "Man, Claude, you never did tell us how he felt. Was it good, doing that to Ciel?" From his hiding place, Sebastian saw Claude smirk, " Dude, he was so tight, tighter than a virgin, and the fear and pain on his face just made it all better." Claude laughed, then, and Sebastian felt sick to his stomach. With the way that they were talking, it seemed like they had raped Ciel. Sebastian saw red and wasted no time in walking over to the group of seniors.

He walked gracefully and silently, like a predator going after their prey. When he was finally noticed, the conversation stopped, and Sebastian could sense their confusion. Why was the philosophy teacher there when none of them had that class. That was when Sebastian's calm broke. He simply said, "This is for Ciel," before punching Claude, making Claude's head snap sideways and his nose to start spurting blood. He, then, turned around and walked off. That was when he took off running, he had to find Ciel! Sebastian knew that the one year anniversary of his parent's death was today, and thought that he was just mourning and that's why he wasn't at school. That might still be the case, but, with this new information, Sebastian had a gut feeling that there was something more going on with the boy. He hoped to whatever deity up there that he was wrong, though. After searching forever, and ending back up at Ciel's house where he first started his search, did he find the boy. Sebastian cringed at how horrible he looked, and followed him when he took off at a brisk pace towards the school. Which led him to saving this beautiful young man that he was in love with.

Ciel looked up at Sebastian with tears in his eyes. Had he really almost jumped to his death? What was he thinking? He turned his head away and buried it in Sebastian's chest. He always smelled so good, and he was always so kind and he was always there for Ciel. Ciel really had no clue what he'd do without the man in front of him. Yes, he had stopped coming to see him after the rape, but only because he would end up telling what happened, and he didn't want Sebastian to think he was dirty. Now, as he stood within the man's arms, he understood that Sebastian would have never thought he was dirty. He could feel the love coming off him in waves, and he didn't understand how he deserved this perfect's man love, when he was broken.

"Ciel, look at me." Sebastian commanded softly and gently. Ciel complied immediately, turning his head up towards Sebastian's, only to be caught in the most perfect, wonderful kiss ever. Sebastian's lips were soft and moved just the right way against his, making him let out little noises of pleasure. Sebastian pulled away and buried his head in Ciel's shoulder, tears starting to fall from his eye. "Ciel, I really have no clue what I would do if you left this world. I didn't notice it at first, but I need you with me every second I can have you with me, and I'm not letting you cut that short. You have so much, and I mean so much, coming for you in the future, and it's going to be amazing, you wait and see. I know the past year has been hell, but I'm here now, and I'm staying. I won't let anything, and I mean anything, happen to you. Do you believe me?" With that, he lifted his head and looked into Ciel's eyes. Ciel nodded his head, and Sebastian pulled him even tighter against him. Ciel snuggled in the embrace, then thought about something, "Sebastian, can we get down from the roof, now?" Sebastian chuckled, "Yes, my love, we most certainly can." Ciel blushed at being called my love, and it made swarms of butterflies go off in his stomach when Sebastian kept him close and didn't let him wander more than a step away, as if he was afraid to lose Ciel, which he probably was. Ciel understood now, though, that what he was aiming for was not death, but relief, and he found that in the raven haired man in front of him. "Sebastian, I love you." He whispered, but Sebastian heard him. He turned toward Ciel, and pulled him in for another kiss. "I love you too, Ciel."