Not a Christmas Carol

by geminiangel1964

Just a little something that wanted to be written

"Leroy. Wake up, son."

Hearing his name, Gibbs tried to brush away the bourbon and the last vestiges of sleep.

"That's it, Leroy. Wake up now."

"Dad?" Some detail floated on the edge of Gibbs' consciousness. "Dad, what's wrong?" When Gibbs turned to face his father, that detail came to the forefront. His father was dead. The apparition in front of him wasn't his father. Evidently, he'd had a bit too much bourbon. "Not real. Go 'way."

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, wake up and pay attention now." His father's image yelled. That tone had never failed to bring his son to attention and it didn't fail now. Gibbs sat up straighter in his easy chair. "That's better. We need to have a talk."

"Dad, I don't know how to break this to you but you're dead."

"I'm very much aware of that, Leroy." His father said dryly. "But as I said, we need to talk."

"Am I…"

"Dead? No, Leroy. And don't be hurrying that along, you hear me?"

"I hear you." Gibbs glanced at his empty glass.

"No more bourbon, Leroy. Tonight, you are going to have some visitors. They will show you what they think you need to know."

"Wait… not the whole Christmas Carol schtick. I'm no Scrooge, dad. I do my best to help people all the time."

"It's not your life and soul we're trying to save. The one who needs saving is closed off and you might be the only one capable of reaching past that façade. Listen and watch carefully, Leroy. I love you, son."

"Dad…who am I to reach? Dad?" Gibbs shook his head. This was ridiculous. Having a conversation with his dead father? Maybe a cup of coffee before bed was in order.

Gibbs substituted the pot for the mug under the dripping coffee. Bringing it to his lips he inhaled the fragrant steam. Turning to return to the living room, he dropped the mug, cursing under his breath as the hot coffee splashed his stocking clad feet. Standing in his kitchen was a woman in an evening gown.

"Agent Gibbs, I presume. Veronica Maeve Paddington DiNozzo," she introduced herself.

"I'm getting rid of that bottle," Gibbs muttered fully convinced the bourbon was the root of his hallucinations.

"That would be a waste of good bourbon. Of course, I'm hardly the one to advise someone on sobriety. Too little of that in my life. I preferred cocktails; more gentile, you know. Of course, in private... vodka, scotch…"

"You're Tony's mom."

"It took you a bit to make the connection. Maybe you should have a cup of coffee." Veronica said sarcastically.

"Look, I don't know why you…"

"Do drink your coffee." Veronica waved her hand and Gibbs found a full mug in his hand. "I happen to be aware that your father informed you of my impending visit. Don't be tiresome, Agent Gibbs. I would prefer to finish this quickly."

"Busy social calendar?"

"Ooo… the Gibbs' wit." Veronica placed the back of her hand to her temple dramatically. "Oh, what shall I do?"

"Can the crap, lady. What do you want with me?"

"Want? Nothing." An ugly sneer appeared on the apparition's face. "This wasn't my choice of evening entertainment."

"So why are you here?"

"Others feel that you need to see Anthony's childhood. Personally, it seems a complete waste of time."

"It's for your son's benefit."

"My son is an extreme disappointment. A cop? He is a Paddington, his future would have been assured, if he had learned to keep his mouth shut and behaved with a modicum of decency."

"Well, you may be forgetting, but he's a DiNozzo, too. I've met your husband and decency is not a word I would throw in his direction."

"Anthony has been a terrible disappointment to his father. By his age, Anthony should be running the company or at the very least be Vice-President of the company. Seems we were both doomed to disappointment."

"From my viewpoint, Tony's not the disappointment."

"You fail to comprehend, agent." She sneered his title. "My husband and I are the pentacle of New York Society. As our son, Anthony was the heir apparent. Of course, he chose to disdain appropriate educational pursuits. He attended a state university. State." She shuddered in disgust. "Even then he could have still elected an appropriate educational program. Pre-med, pre-law, business but no, he chose physical education." The expression on her face was almost hatred.

"It's bad enough that he chose to disgrace his heritage with that school, that major. He eschewed relationships with appropriate young ladies of our social circle, he got engaged to a music teacher turned journalist. Is it any wonder that Anthony had to disown him? Do you know the shame he brought to the family?"

"At least he's not a drunk or a con artist."

"Dear, dear you do appear attached to him. However do you tolerate his inane chatter and his common… Oh, yes, I guess his commonness wouldn't bother you. You wallow in the same trough."

"Why don't you just leave? It's obvious that your son's well-being means nothing to you."

"No, but the brownie points I'll earn for this menial task will improve my standing."

"It's all about you. I don't need to see Tony's past Christmases. I've got a pretty good idea. Staff does the tree and decorations. Plenty of social events. You give the staff the day off, so you can spend Christmas drunk and Senior out 'interviewing' his new secretary. Followed up by a screaming match in the evening followed by slamming doors and more booze. Let me guess, Tony spends the day in his room, no food, no presents, no parents… How close am I?

"How dare you judge me?" Veronica stood tall and straight. "I am Veronica Paddington DiNozzo. I could ruin you with the snap of my fingers. You are nothing. Do you hear me, nothing?"

"And you're just a decaying corpse in a lonely grave unmissed by anyone." Gibbs ducked as she flew at him in rage. Just feet from him she disappeared as if she had never been there. He drew several long shaky breathes. Disdaining the cup of coffee in his hand, Gibbs started cleaning up the one he dropped. Emptying the other mug, Gibbs rinsed it and put in the drainer. Even without the coffee, Gibbs was feeling sober and hating it. He had half a notion to grab a new bottle of bourbon and drown the rest of the night.

"Too bad, I can't join you."

"Kate?" Gibbs turned to find her standing at the counter.

"That coffee smells good. I used to wonder how you could drink so much and drink it so hot, strong and black without getting an ulcer. Tony and I used to joke that the ulcers were the second 'B' manifesting."

"You look good."

"Compared to how I looked on the rooftop?" A look of sorrow swiftly crossed Gibbs face and Kate smiled gently. "Gibbs, it's okay."

"I should have protected you better."

"It was my time." Kate smiled gently. "He hates Christmas, you know?"

"Who, Tony?"

"You hit the mark when you were talking to his mom. From the time he was a baby. Can you believe forgetting to feed an infant? He lay in a crib crying of hunger and sore from a wet diaper until the staff returned the day after Christmas. Every year until he was old enough to use the bathroom on his own."

"As he got older, he learned to sneak food to his room. If a member of the staff took a liking to him, he'd get a small gift. Maybe a car from the five and dime. The cook might even slip him food. He always lied when he went back to school. While all his classmates were detailing their extravagant Christmas, Tony had to lie. The one time he did tell the truth, the teacher called Senior and told him about the 'lies' his son was spreading. Senior met him at the door and hit him. Senior made him swear never to tell the truth and then beat Tony until he was unconscious. He left Tony lying in the entrance hall like trash for the staff to clean up. He still doesn't admit it. The three ponies? He never got one. His mom drinking his sea monkeys? The truth. The cook gave them to him."

"I'll kill…"

"No, Gibbs. Trust me. Senior will pay. He's already paid and doesn't know it. He lost a wonderful son." Kate smiled. "Enough of the past, though. I'm here about the present. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Do you know Tony's plans?"

"I think he's meeting an old frat buddy."

"No. He's not meeting anyone. After work, tomorrow evening, Tony will go for a run. He'll run until he's ready to drop, much further than he should. Afterwards, if he isn't too sore he'll stop and eat. He'll take home something for the next day or stop by the grocery store and pick up a microwave dinner. At home, he'll pop in a movie and fall asleep on the couch."

"Do you know where Tony spends Christmas Morning, Gibbs?"

"I would expect at home." Gibbs thought about the lonely Christmas Eve."

"No. He visits us."

"Visits you?"

"The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial. He spends most of the day wandering along the memorial, visiting, talking about what the year has been like, how much he hates seeing another name added. This year will be his first year to visit Dorney. He's already dreading it." Kate bowed her head. "After that, he goes home alone and waits for the day to be over. Over so he can get back to work and forget the day exists. No one should spend Christmas among the dead, Gibbs. At least, you used to get a call from your dad and maybe a visit from Ducky. Tony will be alone. Just like every other Christmas in his life."

Kate tilted her head as if hearing something Gibbs can't. "That's my cue. Time to go. Take care, Gibbs. Tell Tony I said 'Hi."

Unlike Tony's mom, Kate faded gradually. "Good-bye, Kate."

"So, we talk, now? Yes."

Gibbs whirled around. He guessed that he shouldn't be shocked but Ziva was standing by the kitchen table in her old NCIS cap. "What are you doing here?"

"It is my job to show you, Tony's future Christmases."

Gibbs felt both more and less at ease with Ziva. Ziva's spirit. "It's good to see you."

"I am sure there are others you would prefer to visit with tonight. You are surprised that I am here?"

"Considering you and Tony didn't always have the best relationship? A little."

"He irritated me, but he was there for me. Tony forgave me many wrongs. He forgave me not inviting him to my party. He forgave me for turning off his microphone. He forgave me for Ari. Tony came for me in Somalia. He gave me the strength to go on in Israel. I owe him much. I owe Tony a better future." Ziva looked in his eyes. "You still do not believe, I am here. We were here."

"You have to admit it's a bit crazy. I've read 'A Christmas Carol' and this is not at all how it goes. There's no whizzing through time and peeping in windows."

"Often things in life are not how we expect them to go."

"I'm sorry, Ziva. When we heard…"

"It was my decision, Gibbs. I wanted to honor my father. I wanted to help my country." Ziva began to pace back and forth across the kitchen. "But I am not here about me, I am here for Tony. Did you know he kissed me?" Ziva laughed at the expression on Gibbs' face. "No, we did not break rule twelve. It was the day he left Israel. I think he knew we would never meet again on this earth. It was good-bye. I do not want to meet him on this side for a very long time, but if things don't change…"

"What do you mean, Ziva?"

"Has Tony told you about his last visit with Dr. Pitt?"

Gibbs struggled to remember his senior field agent's exact works. "Said everything checked out fine."

"He is stubborn." Ziva tilted her head. "He did not lie, he just ended the sentence. What Dr. Pitt actually said was that it checked out fine for now."

"For now?"

"Tony's battle with pneumonia last year caused further damage. Dr. Pitt told him that he needs to take better care of himself. Tony is not to do a lot of running in the cold. He must eat better. He must get more sleep. Do you know what Tony does at night?"

"I don't think I want to know."

Ziva frowned at Gibbs. "He does not do that. He hate being alone night after night in that apartment. To get out, Tony goes to work and helps the team on night duty. He has helped solve many cold cases. That is how he and Agent Balboa became friends. He leaves the bullpen area and goes downstairs to shower and change. Then, he appears to come to work so that you do not became aware of his subtle feud."

"You mean, subterfuge?"

"Even now, I do not get the language rights." Ziva shook her head.

"How much sleep does he get a night?"

"Four or five hours at most. He cannot continue to do this, Gibbs. Now, he will go to the memorial to spend the day in the cold and damp. It is not good for him. He will wear his body out or…"

"Or what, Ziva?"

Ziva averted her eyes. "I have said too much."

"You haven't said enough. Or what, Ziva? Answer me."

"Christmas Day is not a good day to walk the streets alone. Those who walk on those days have little to lose. They look not only to pick in pocket. Many would kill for a warm coat or money for a meal."

"Are you saying that Tony is going to be killed this Christmas?"

"No, Gibbs. There are many Christmases to come. It is only one possibility. One shadow in time."

"Level with me, Ziva. Is Tony going to die?"

"There are lots of shadows of possibilities." Ziva looked down.

"No, this is not happening. I know you. You know more than you're saying."

"Do you care for him?"

"What?"

"Tony. Do you care for him?"

"He's my senior field agent."

"Do you care for him?" Ziva demanded.

"Yes, I care for him. He's…"

"He is what? What is Tony to you?"

"My son!" Gibbs yelled. "What do you know?"

"My time is up. I must go."

"No. You tell me what is going to happen. You tell me now how to stop it."

"I have told you all I can." Ziva started to fade.

"You have told me nothing." Gibbs advanced angrily.

"I do not know if or when, but I understand that if things do not change, Tony will never retire and will never take over when you retire. He will die alone not realizing that there are those who mourn him. A father who will mourn him. Shalom." With one last sorrowful look, she was gone.

"Ziva! Come back here. Kate! Dad!" In anger, Gibbs swept his arm along the counter sending everything flying. "Help me." He fell to his knees among the broken crockery.

"Jethro…" The soft voice from many nightmares and lonely nights called his name.

"Shannon."

"I only have a minute."

"Are you here for Tony?"

"I'm here for both of you. He is a good man, this son you have chosen. Tony has known such pain, but so have you. Together, I think that you would help each other heal; be the family you need now."

"I miss you and Kelly."

"I know. For now, you need to focus on Tony, but we will be here waiting. We don't want to see either of you for a long time. It's time to wake up, Jet."

With a start, Gibbs woke up. He was sitting in his chair where he had fallen asleep. Running a tired hand over his face, he sighed with relief. It had all been a dream, just a crazy dream. Too much bourbon and not enough sleep. Looking at the clock, he noted that it was only zero two hundred hours. He could catch a couple more winks and then get ready for work.

Gibbs detoured to the kitchen with his bourbon glass. There were broken mugs, sugar and spoons on the floor by the counter. In the drainer, he could see a mug he didn't own.

Shortly after zero three hundred hours, Gibbs exited the staircase. As he let himself into the bullpen, he could hear Tony's voice and he double-checked the time.

"I don't see it." One of the team on night duty spoke up. "Why would he care?"

"Look, Ensign Mathers was his wife's childhood sweetheart. When her dad was reassigned, they lost touch. Ensign Burke was afraid with them re-connecting, that she would leave him. That's why he tried to set up Mathers. If he could get Mathers caught with drugs, the ensign would be sent away."

"Where did he get the drugs?"

Gibbs could see the flicker of a screen in the dim lights as Tony continued, "The MPs made three arrests for drugs in the last month alone. This report shows the drugs that were entered into inventory. I sent an email to the duty officer asking that he check the inventory. These drugs here and here are unaccounted for. And guess who has been temporarily assigned to the MPs office."

"That's another one, I owe you." Gibbs heard Balboa say. "Dinner on me, Friday?"

"Too close to the holidays. I collect in the New Year. Give prices a chance to go up." Tony joked.

"Seriously." Gibbs recognized the voice of the first man who had spoken. "I thought you were way off. It seemed so cut and dry. Dude had drugs and got pulled over."

"I found that when it seems too easy, it usually is. Oh, and if the sailor is murdered, check the wife."

"How'd you know it was a set up though?"

"Drugs these days are more a slap on the wrist. When the ensign demanded an investigation, he knew it would fall to NCIS. If you're innocent, you don't want NCIS to confirm your guilt."

"I didn't learn any of this in the academy."

"Ahhhh…" Balboa spoke up. "You may not have heard this yet, but Tony is a former police officer. Got a lot of street smarts."

"No way. They told me Gibbs hates LEOs."

"Gibbs hates people wasting his time and not doing their jobs," Tony spoke up.

"Surprised you don't have a team."

"Brass keeps offering," Balboa spoke up. "Tony turns them down."

"Hey, my team has the best closure rate in the agency. Why mess with perfection?" Tony laughed.

"Since you're here, do you think you would you mind having a look at this file?" Another voice spoke up.

"He wouldn't, I would."

"Gibbs!"

"DiNozzo." Gibbs said evenly. "Bit early, aren't you?"

"I.. uh, I stopped by to pick up a file and just decided to hang out a bit, boss."

"Gear up. With me. Oh, grab your go-bag."

Tony looked at his beeper as he followed Gibbs. He didn't have a message, but he went ahead and followed his boss. "Are we picking McGee up?" He asked in the elevator.

"Nope."

"Aren't we taking one of the units?" Tony asked as Gibbs lead him to his car.

"Toss your stuff in the back. Buckle up."

Tony was already reaching for the seatbelt. It was never good to be in the car with Gibbs without one.

"Read something interesting tonight."

"Okay. New case?"

"Security logs."

"Security logs? For where?"

"Found my SFA has been checking in during the early morning hours four to five nights a week for months."

"I… uh… I can explain."

"Sure you want to do that?" Gibbs looked over at the younger man. "Didn't think so."

"Gibbs…"

"When were you planning on telling me what Pitt told you during your last visit about the pneumonia and taking better care of yourself?"

"How did…" Tony realized that with just two words he had admitted too much.

"You are going home. You are going to put your head down and sleep. When you finally wake up, Ducky is coming over to check you out. You're going to start getting more rest and taking better care of yourself. Understood?"

"Gibbs…"

"Understood?"

"Yes, boss."

"I've called us off tomorrow. With the amount of overtime you've logged, Vance will not deny it."

"I didn't put in for overtime."

"I know. We will be discussing that."

"Uh, Gibbs, this isn't the way home. That was my exit."

"Not going to your apartment. We're going home, to our house."

"Gibbs, what…"

"Your lease is up soon, right?"

"February."

"After the holidays, we'll get the team to pitch in and help move your stuff in. For now, we'll pick some more of your clothes and things up tomorrow. Now, since I know that you don't have plans tomorrow evening, you and I are going to spend a quiet Christmas Eve together. We'll run to the store, pick up what we need for Christmas Dinner. Then later, we'll take the toys to the hospitals for Christmas."

"Gibbs, are you feeling okay?"

"Tony."

Tony started when Gibbs used his first name. He was beginning to worry about Gibbs. Gibbs never wanted company. Yet, he was talking about letting Tony move in. The boss must be taking his father's death a lot harder that he seemed to at work.

"We need to have a long talk. First you need to sleep. But let me tell you this… We are family. Have been for years. Maybe neither of us ever came out and said it. You're my son and I'm your father."

"Gibbs, you don't know what you are saying."

Gibbs stopped at a light and looked Tony in the eye. "Yes, I do. We are the only family each other has. It's time we started acting like it. Family lives together and spends holidays together. That's what we're going to do."

"Gibbs, you're scaring me."

"Jethro."

"What?"

"I'm Gibbs at the office. At home, we're Jethro and Tony."

"Now on Christmas, we'll make a nice dinner. After we eat, if the weather's nice, the two of us will make your annual visit to Kate and the others together."

"How did you know about that?"

"You'd be surprised what I know." Jethro admitted.

"I have to be dreaming."

"Thought that myself earlier tonight." Jethro admitted. "Realized I was thinking clearly for the first time, in a very long time. So, what do you say, son? Ready to have your first family Christmas?"

Tony though about the lonely nights and lonely Christmases he'd had. He thought how often he'd wished that Gibbs was his dad. Even if it was only this one day...this one year...this one time, he wasn't going to pass up the chance. "Let's go home."