Desperation

After the Death Star II

It had been months since the end of Death Star II, since the end of the Emperor. The Galaxy which had been elated with the death of the Emperor was still in an uproar. There were no confirmations of Darth Vader's life or death, or what had become of him. A great many of the Grand Moffs were still at large, as was the command of the stormtroopers.

Luke Skywalker knew the location and the fate of Darth Vader, and yet he didn't. He had reported to the Rebellion that Darth Vader had perished aboard Death Star II and had gone onto an extended leave, ignoring the looks he had received from both Princess Leia, his sister, and Han Solo, his best friend, he had requested only two things; the droids. He knew that Leia had told Han about their father and their relationship, could feel it in the Force. He had spent many hours with his father in silence, getting used to his presence. The conflict that he had sensed in his father was still there and sometimes it was very hard to be around the man that had been given two names and had yet to decide which one he desired. It was easier for Luke, who just called him 'Father.'

"Luke," Luke Skywalker heard, a simple statement just his name, and yet it held meaning. He knew that his father thought of his sister and was haunted by the memories of the times they had been together both ignorant of their relationship to one another. He knew that there were many things that haunted his father. They had retreated to the world of Dantooine, and he knew his father wasn't crazy about it, but it made Luke feel closer to Master Yoda and Ben. Luke returned to his father's side. His father no longer wore the mask he hated, but was confined to an oxygen tank. He had to go back for treatments every several months, the Emperor had been poisoning his father for neigh on twenty years, it was something that had greatly disturbed his father. The medics knew of his identity but were too afraid to say anything and Luke had been duty bound to inform Mon Momtha who had been shocked and disappointed to say the least and more than a little hesitant to leave Vader in Luke's care. She had been there when the medics had assessed Vader's health, and that more than anything had assured her he wasn't the threat she believed he was. Although she had come prepared and had ordered a yslammi in the room with apologies to Luke for the force-repellant object.

"Father," Luke asked, taking in the prosthetic legs and arms that had been replaced after their duel, after the death of the Emperor. They had been of a less-dense alloy, substandard material, and Luke had had them replaced with better prosthetics although they were still more robotic than his own. There was only so much he could do under Mon's watchful eyes. There seemed to be more color on his father's pale face today, and his eyes radiated the same blue as his own. He wanted his father to get better, he yearned for his father to become the father he had yearned for in his youth, even though reality told him this may never come to pass.

"There are some things I must do, Luke."

"You need to get better."

"I may never get better, son," came the tired, worn voice. Luke was glad he was speaking, there were days his father only spoke through the Force. Still, Luke was glad he was alive. He had been nearly dead from their battle and the assault of the Emperor but Luke had saved him.

"It will only take time, Father. What's more important is who you are."

"I thought we weren't going to discuss this."

"Father, it's not for me, it's for you. You need to find out who you are."

"And just who are you, son?"

"Luke Skywalker, son of Anakin Skywalker, leader of the Rebel Alliance, the Last Jedi."

"I was once a Jedi...a very long time ago."

"Tell me about it."

"It was a long time ago, son."

"We've got the rest of our lives."

The figure that was Darth Vader laughed and it turned into a cough. "You are a lot like your mother. She was..." many images flittered through Anakin's mind of his long-dead wife. "Persistent, she wouldn't let me keep my thoughts hidden...if things had been different we would have been together all of our lives. You shouldn't give me noble qualities I don't possess. I AM a monster, Luke."

"But...you saved my life."

"And destroyed many others. One right doesn't equate all the wrong I've done. I have to return to my home."

"And where is that, Imperial Palace."

"No, and it was once called...Coruscent. When we were married we stayed in the Republica...your mother was a Senator."

This was news for Luke who had often wondered just what kind of woman could love Darth Vader? He had briefly wondered if his father had assaulted his mother, or if he had tricked her with the Force but he couldn't mistake the love in his father's voice even if he had only heard his father's voice soften when he called him son. They had been married. He wondered how Leia would react to that? Would she believe? And how could he tell her when she didn't know that Anakin Skywalker lived?

"Tell me about her."

"There are some memories that are private. Bring me some water, Luke."

Luke did as he was requested. The figure of Vader sipped the water and looked around the room. A ghost of a smile appeared on lips that seemed to have forgotten how to smile. "You are more like her than you are like me. Although there is some of the look of Anakin in you. The eyes, perhaps. She had eyes like your sister's. She was good, and she saw the good in me, perhaps you get that from her. How could you be so sure that I wouldn't kill you?" he asked, the hardness back in his voice.

"Because there is good in you."

"You wouldn't believe that if you knew the things I've done."

"But the Emperor ordered it. You can have amnesty."

"I truly expect to be condemned and put to death, and then maybe Padme can forgive me."

"Padme," Luke repeated. His father held many secrets of his life. He had never even known the name of his mother.

"What did Obi-Wan tell you?"

"That you were a great friend to him. A cunning warrior, the best star pilot in the galaxy."

"One out of three, are true. I wasn't a good friend to him. I buck and resisted his guidance at every turn. I kept many secrets from him. I was impulsive and desperate. The world was a different place then, a difficult place and if we aren't careful it will be again. I'm not a politician but I know the upheaval of the galaxy and the repercussions it will cause," Luke gazed at him.

"Maybe you should talk to Leia."

"I will, but now is not the time." Luke retrieved a holo-recorder.

"Do you mind?"

"Go right ahead. Might as well get my confession now."

"Father..."

"Those were the days where Palpatine was Chancellor of the Old Republic and his apprentice was a former Jedi, the leader of the Confederacy of Independent Systems."

"Are you saying that the Emperor was behind the Clone Wars?"

"No, what I'm saying is that he caused them, he orchestrated him, but I didn't find out exactly how much until it was too late. Until I had made too many mistakes to turn back." It took a moment for Luke to process this. The Emperor had orchestrated the entire war.

"He took an older Jedi, a respectable man, a man with a small fortune who didn't care about the bureaucracy but did care about something...good and he turned him into a Sith. He hired someone to assassinate Padme. It was practice, he told me later, to see if he could do it. Dooku was proud and he used his pride against him. Once he finds a weakness he pounces on it, as he did mine, as he attempted to do to you. You resisted, I couldn't."

"What was your weakness?"

"You already know it."

"Compassion? How can such a noble emotion be twisted to serve the Emperor."

"You felt it, son. I don't want you to reconstruct the Jedi as they were. You are wrong, Luke. You are not the last of the Jedi, but the first."

"Master Yoda said something like that."

"Yoda?" he questioned. "Yoda admitted his mistake?"

"What mistake? Father, please tell me."

"Attachments. The Jedi of the Old Republic were not allowed any attachments. Compassion was essential but not to the point that you became attached. Families, outside of the Jedi were forbidden except in extreme cases."

"And you were an extreme case."

"No. I broke the rules."