Author : Mirumo (real name : Claire)

Title : How Dr Sheldon Cooper (PhD) saved your life

Rating : PG - though just a little swearing might make it PG-13, I don't know

Genre : Angst (not real angst, I warn you) & Humour, in some sort of AU

Length : 368 words (I think it's safe to say that all my rambling before and after the OS is longer than the text itself).

Disclaimer : I'd gladly call eternal dibs on Sheldon, because he truly is so yummy, but nope, The Big Bang Theory belongs to Lorre & Brady (and the CBS), and the characters belong to the amazing actors. Congrats to the über awesome Jim Parsons for the Golden Globes (if you haven't watched the video of him accepting the award, you SO should).

Notes : Crappy crack, sorry for that. I just really wanted to write it. Consider it as an homage to Sheldon.

This is not my first TBBT fic, but it's the first one I'm publishing on FF. It might contain mistakes, because it's unbeta'd : I hate having people I personally know reading what I wrote. Pleeeaaase, point out to me every mistake I might have made.

Oh, and despite what one could think, the "psycho" isn't Sheldon. He is a psycho, but he is not that particular psycho.

The young woman rushed into the room and locked the door several times. Terrified, she started running around, looking for a place to hide.

No, not here. She could already hear the heavy steps of that psycho in the stairs. If she hid here, he would find her immediately. And God knows what huge lethal weapon he was carrying that made this awful strident sound.

Holy shit.

She first hurried to the bathroom, but the clear image of Jack Nicholson in "The Shining" appeared in her mind. If that guy (or girl, for what she knew : she didn't see anything trough that weird suit and that mask) had an axe, she was doomed. She barged again in the hallway, and, facing the first door she saw, she stopped and couldn't help thinking for a second before opening it.

This place was forbidden. She wasn't supposed to be here. No one was supposed to be here. It was nothing short of a sanctuary. This might be why she felt it would be the safest room.

In a hectic state, she pushed the dresser against the locked door, not minding a bit all the stupid little figures falling from it on the floor.

Suddenly, she heard a big thump. What was it? The door being cracked open? The psycho knocking furniture over? A corpse being thrown on the floor? Anyway, it didn't sound reassuring at all. A scream got caught in her throat.

Holy fucking shit.

She looked over. Why didn't she take any knife or scissors in the kitchen? She couldn't get out of the room anymore, and she had nothing to defend herself.

Holy Mother of God, shit shit shit shit shit.

Yes. Of course there was something. There had to be something.

She opened the closest, fumbled around a few seconds and immediately found what she was looking for. A big briefcase. With, among several videogames and comics, a bat, several knifes, a defence spray and a crossbow in it.

Penny couldn't contain a relieved sigh, and promised herself that she would acknowledge the utility of his crazy OCDed "in case of apocalypse" emergency supply kits to Sheldon as soon as she got out of this shit.

A/N : Yeah. I know ... Complete and utter crack. I just wanted to show that Sheldon's idiosyncrasies weren't all bad, and apparently, the only idea that came through my mind was to put Penny in a shitty horror film situation (blonde girl being chased by a masked killed, how cheesier could it be?).

It didn't turn out exactly as I wanted to, but the idea seduced me. Sheldon is too awesome not to be honoured for his craziness from time to time.