Wake Up
A/N: Hello fine people. Welcome to my first attempt at fanfiction in almost three years. I was pretty prolific in High School (not so much Harry Potter though), but once I got to college it all ended. But this idea got me thinking about writing again and for better or worse here it is. This is based on another type of media that I consumed last year and I had the idea to base it around Harry Potter. I'll tell you what it was at the end, because I don't want to spoil it. If anyone guesses in the comments, please announce a spoiler.
Also, writing this chapter, I don't think I ever explicitly said that this takes place during the Battle of Hogwarts at the end of the 7th Book. I'm sure you would have picked up on it, but you can never be too sure. Also, up until this chapter, we're following canon.
Hope I'm not too rusty!
Note for Readers: I uploaded this chapter before the crash. I hope you all continue to read it. And I'm sorry that a new one isn't up yet. I wanted to make sure the crash wasn't permanent. Thanks for all your support!
Disclaimer: I, in no way, own Harry Potter… but if I did I'd probably still write this fanfic.
Chapter 1: A Slight Discomfort
"And you say you tried Jesus.
But it was too inconvenient.
You just didn't have the patience.
You say you said prayers.
But it felt like there was nobody there.
I didn't think that you'd get it.
This shouldn't hurt.
But you might feel a slight discomfort."
*A Slight Discomfort- The Hold Steady*
He knew what he had to do.
In a reluctant bit of reflection he knew that this is what he was born to do and no matter how hard he tried to fight it, there was no escape. The constant struggle between fate and free will had always been on his brain, even before he found that he was a wizard.
He would lie awake in his cupboard at night just asking one simple question: "Why?" Why were his parents killed? Why was he sent to live with the Dursleys? And probably the most important one, the existential question that everyone must ask: why am I here?
Unfortunately for him, he found out where it all led. The answers all pointed him towards the center of the Forbidden Forrest, into the clutches of the Dark Lord, Voldemort and into the hands of certain death. That was his purpose… Not much of a life you say? Well, you'd be right. Honestly at this point, Harry almost welcomed his fate. His whole life, in one-way or another, he was being prepped for this. Prepared to kill, prepared to die, prepared to give his life for a world he didn't even know existed until his 11th birthday. Death would be a welcome release.
Tears began to well up in his eyes and flow down his face as he came to this realization. He prayed that no one saw him as he wiped his eyes and quickly cursed the air when he looked up and saw his best friend, Hermione Granger staring right at him with an extreme look of concern.
"Harry, are you okay?" She asked him in that typical voice that was 100% Hermione. Only she could combine so much concern, care and love in just four words. In fact, that's where Harry learned about those ideas. Before he met Hermione, those things were completely void in his life.
He didn't answer. What was he supposed to say? That he was about to take a trek into the Forbidden Forrest and have a staring contest with the greatest evil the world has ever known. Whether it would have ended the war or not, she probably would have had him committed.
"Fine. Ignore me… I'm going to be over there, seeing if Madam Pomfrey needs any help." Without another word, she walked hastily towards the makeshift hospital that had been put up in the Great Hall.
Harry used this time to take a look at the carnage around the room. If he was fully functioning, he probably would have cried at the sight of someone pulling a blanket over the corpse of Katie Bell, but he had spent the last of his tears when he came across the body of the last living man he could have called a father figure; Remus Lupin.
He had to put an end to it.
Wanting to avoid attention, Harry got up from his seat at the Gryffindor table and wordlessly walked towards the exit of the Great Hall. Unfortunately for him, Ginny and Neville had been keeping a close eye on him, making sure he was okay.
"Harry, wait!" Ginny yelled as she jolted up from her seat and followed him in haste, pulling Neville along with her.
"No, Ginny. Leave me alone."
"Is that all you have to say to me, Harry? Shouldn't you know already… that won't get rid of me." He had to respect her perseverance, but this wasn't the time for it.
"Gin…"
With that one word, a small voice that no one would have been able to recognize as the "Great" Harry Potter's escaped his lips. And while Ginny wasn't exactly an expert on him, not like Hermione, she knew exactly what he was planning on doing.
She wordlessly told Neville to stay put and backed away before turning around to spring towards their bushy haired friend. Neville stood awkwardly between Harry and the door before trying to make small talk.
"So, it's been…"
"If I wanted to, I could hex you into the middle of your future daughter's fifth birthday." Harry mustered a half smile, to show that he was joking, something that his voice couldn't indicate at this moment. "Neville… I've missed you."
Harry closed the gap between the two of them, giving him a giant bone-crushing hug. "I don't think we ever gave you the treatment you deserved, man. You were always so important to us, but I don't think I ever did anything to show you… It means so much to me that you kept up the Army."
Neville smiled, something Harry had only rarely seen. Unfortunately, the sole bright moment of the last week and a half was eclipsed by a shrill scream, "HARRY JAMES POTTER!"
Harry swiftly shut his eyes in anticipation. "HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"
"I have nothing to say to you, Hermione."
She simply let out a fickle laugh. "Oh, that's rich, Harry. We spent the last nine months of our lives on the run from Death Eaters, lying to the people that care about us, on a wild goose chase across the English countryside, searching for pieces of Voldemort's soul, just based on your word. AND NOW YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY! As you're about to go to your death." By this time a very confused Ron and an empathetic Luna came up to the group and offered their support to Hermione.
Harry bowed his head in shame. He couldn't say that she was wrong, so he said the first thing that popped into his head. "It's not like that, Hermione."
"For God's sake, Harry, what is it like then?"
He felt a fire grow in the pit of his stomach. "GOD DAMMIT, HERMIONE!" The intensity of his voice made her take a couple of steps back by reflex. "I've carried around the knowledge that it's either me or him for two years. Now, Ginny and Ron's brother is dead… Remus and Tonks left my godson an orphan… and would any of this happened…" He sobbed. "Would any of this have happened if I had done this earlier?"
By this time, both Hermione and Ginny also had tears rolling down their faces and Neville looked like he wasn't too far behind. "You're basing all of this off the ranting of a crazy woman… nothing is written in stone."
"Hermione… I know you see the world through reason and logic, but why are you having such trouble seeing magic… why is it so hard for you to believe in this?"
"Harry! This is your life! Why do you find it so easy?"
"Good God, It's never been easy! You think that I would just hear that my sole purpose is to kill or be killed by Voldemort and just submit to it?" He paused for what felt like an eternity. "I'm scared."
With that, Hermione got closer and pulled him into a giant hug, soon to be followed by Ron, Luna, Neville and Ginny. With a lot of strength, Harry pulled free and grabbed Hermione's hands while looking straight into her eyes. "Hermione, I have to do this for me. Whether it's true or not, my whole life has been built towards this moment and to end this whole thing, I need to go meet him."
She would never give full permission, but she bowed her head and allowed Harry to move past her. Rather than just letting him go alone, the entire group began to silently follow and make their way towards the Forbidden Forrest.
Hermione fought back tears as they made their way with what she felt in her heart was a funeral march for her best friend. She tried to keep focus on the grounds, which were beautiful as they always were this time of year with the leaves finally springing back out turning the grounds green again after a long, cold winter. After all the hardship she felt here, she would miss it. It's probably a depressing notion that a place where she was almost killed on a daily basis felt more like home than her own home. The irony was not lost on her.
"Harry, I don't blame you. I'm sad that Fred died, but it wasn't you're fault. You can't blame yourself for things like this."
Again, he said nothing. The classic stoic Harry was rearing his ugly hear tonight and there was nothing that nobody could say to stop him.
They must have been walking slower than usual, because it felt like they spent nearly an eternity walking there. Harry waited for a moment to look out at the abyss that was created by the trees blocking out all sunlight and then turned towards his friends who had gracefully followed his words for so many years.
Not knowing what to say, he thought of what people in the movies would do at a time like this. He moved over to Luna and scooped her up in his arms as if never to let go. This was the first time in their friendship that he can remember being this close to her and on his end it felt good. Luna, like Hermione was one of the few who could always understand him, even if they never spoke about it. "Thank you," He whispered softly in her ear.
He let go of her and moved towards his ex-girlfriend. "Gin…" Unlike Luna, she closed the gap and practically jumped into his arms. He kissed her tenderly on the forehead and set her down on the ground. "You know, it never would have worked between the two of us," he said with a slight smile, eliciting a short laugh through her tears. Deep down she knew it was true, but she didn't want to admit it to herself.
"Harry, before you say anything, please hex me. Mum would killed me if she knew I let you do this," Ron smiled, nonchalantly offering his hand out to his best friend of seven years. Harry just rolled his eyes, shook his head and pulled Ron into a long hug, something that the two had never shared. When they both pulled back, Harry saw that tears were streaming violently down his face.
Harry put his hand on Ron's shoulder as a friendly gesture. "Ron, please be strong for me. I might not be able to play hero for a while, so I need you to take care of the others. Can you do that?"
Ron nodded allowing Harry to move onto Hermione, who looked very unreceptive to whatever Harry was thinking of saying. "Hermione…"
"No. I'm not going to let you say it. If I hear it, I'm going to start believing it. And I can't believe it, Harry. I jus…" Harry cut her off by catching her lips with a heated, meaningful kiss. She pulled her hand around the back of his head as he supported her back with his right arm, leaving his free hand to support her chin. After a short time, Harry broke the kiss.
"Hermione, I love you." Those four words cut into Hermione Granger's skull like the sharpest surgical scalpel causing every emotion she was capable of to explode in her brain. The rest of the company just looked on solemnly, not surprised at all at the happenings. Even Ron and Ginny weren't saddened, as in their hearts they knew that this would happen.
"I'm sorry that this was where I told you, but it's always been you. The first time I ever felt love was when I was eleven years old… when you gave me the strength to fight Voldemort… and you'll be my strength again… now I have something to live for." Harry was stammering, not sure what had just come over him. Until thirty seconds ago, he had never thought about Hermione in that capacity, but now it felt like his entire world made sense. It wasn't all for nothing.
Hermione stood there, frozen in her own skin. She had always loved Harry and thought of him as more than a friend, but she never got the indication that he felt the same way. "Harry… I will respond to that when you come back, but not before." She hugged him in her typical vice grip style and gave him a quick peck on the corner of his mouth. "Good luck." She whispered inaudibly.
Harry turned to Neville who was looking at the ground. "Nev, I want you to come with me." Ron and Hermione quickly looked up his surprise, but didn't have time to object before a red stream shot towards them, missing Hermione head by less than a centimeter.
"You think you can reach the Dark Lord on a whim. You are sorely mistaken you, pillock." Lucius Malfoy emerged from the Forrest with his wand drawn on the group. None of the students had their wands out and by the time they were able to draw, Malfoy had disarmed Luna and stunned Ron.
"SECTUMSPEMPRA!" bellowed a voice from behind them. A dark jet shot between the group and slashed Lucius Malfoy in the chest, causing blood to spurt out from the wound like the fountain in the castle's courtyard, staining the green grass bright red. Harry and the group spun around and saw Draco Malfoy with his wand drawn, pointing towards his father. "Petrificus Totalus!" he chanted causing his fathers arms and legs to lock together.
Harry and his friends weren't sure what to think. "Draco?" Ginny became the first to speak.
"I realized that I didn't thank you, Potter. For saving my life back there in that room with all the shit in it." Draco wiped his wand off on his robes and put it back in his pocket.
Harry cleared his throat with a cough. "You're welcome."
"Still haven't thanked you. Just stroke your hero complex and get rid of this right bastard. I'll get your friends back up to the castle safe and sound." Harry nodded and turned back to Hermione, giving her one last quick hug.
"Guh…"
Hermione put her hand over his mouth before he could finish what he was about to say. "Don't say goodbye." With one last swift kiss on the cheek, he turned towards the Forrest and ran into it, quickly followed by Neville.
The two walked for a short period of time without exchanging words, trying to boost up each other through the strength of their silence. Neither was really sure of their role for the other, but Harry knew that he needed someone with him. He couldn't take Ron, Hermione or Ginny, he knew that much, but when it came down to Neville or Luna, he had to choose Neville, the person who was one day away from becoming the Boy Who Lived.
As they got closer to the center of the woods, they began to hear voices that the recognized belonging to Bellatrix LeStrange and Antonin Dolohov causing them to take cover behind the first boulder they found. "How are we going to get around them?"
"Neville, not we… I'm not going to let you go any further." Harry turned to Neville and handed him the bag that had been on his back all day.
Neville turned to his friend in confusion. "I don't under…"
"I needed help getting here, to make sure I wasn't going to back out and I got that." With each word
"Neville… I'm not going to make it."
Neville's eyes grew big. "What?"
"Neither can live while the other survives. He knows this just as well as I do and he's simply a better wizard than I am." Harry let a tear fall from his eyes. "I have a plan though… I'm going to reproduce the magic that saved my life as a child and hopefully save the world while doing it."
"Harry, I don't understand… why do you have to die?"
Harry shook his head emphatically. "Nev, I can't contrive this, my Mum gave her life to me in a split second, if I over think this, it won't work. Now take my bag, it has some stuff in it that might prove useful… my cloak, a snitch that Dumbledore gave me that he said was important and a couple other things."
"Harry, no."
"Neville, they need you now. Our friends need you to lead them, to take care of them. I am not who I am because the Wizarding World reveres me as the Boy Who Lived. I am me because of my friends, my teachers and everything I've done to become the best wizard I could. You have that same power within yourself." Harry embraced his friend and while he wasn't entirely sure where he was going with that speech, he thought it worked. "I believe in you, my friend."
Neville tearfully nodded and gave Harry his hand, which Harry shook firmly. "Good luck, Harry." He turned to walk back towards the castle. "Wait, Harry. When it's all over, what do you want me to tell Hermione?"
He thought for a second. "Tell her nothing. If you can live with it, I don't want anyone to know what I died for." Neville nodded and continued on his way out of the Forrest to meet up with his friends. "So, I guess I'll see you in another life, yeah?"
'What I died for,' Harry thought to himself. That's a heavy realization to come to as a seventeen year old. Not only coming to terms with your own death, but to put your death into the perspective of a larger purpose? Harry wasn't sure that he was qualified. If only Professor Dumbledore would pull an Obi-Wan Kenobi and tell him that this was the correct path.
As he walked deeper and deeper into the Forrest, avoiding all encounters with Death Eaters, he thought about his friends. Seven years ago, he didn't have a single friend, much less one that he would lay his life down for. That was an idea that almost gave him comfort. Knowing that his death would allow Hermione and the rest of his friends to live was enough to get him to continue his task.
"'Arry! What're ya doin' 'ere!" asked a hushed voice in the darkness that Harry quickly recognized to be that of Hagrid, who was just as much a friend to him as Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville or Luna. When the half giant came into view, Harry saw that he was completely tied up and chained to a tree.
"Hagrid! What happened?" Harry rushed over to his friend and began to untie him after performing a silent unlocking charm on the chains.
He emphatically shook his head. "I was ambushed! Five'r so Death Eaters got me while I was asleep an' dragged me in 'ere. Damn cowars if ya ask me."
"Okay, Hagrid, I'm going to let you out, but you have to promise not to interfere with
what I'm about to do. I'm about to fight Voldemort."
Hagrid shivered at the name, but then quickly registered what Harry had just said. "No… 'Arry!"
"Hagrid, I need your word. This is something I have to do to free us all."
He solemnly slumped his head and nodded in agreement. Harry patted his friend on the back after he untied the last knot and continued to walk the last several feet towards Voldemort's clearing.
"I've been waiting for you, Potter." The practically formless beast hissed.
"Well, I'm more than happy to oblige, Riddle." You could just hear the sly smile in Harry's voice, knowing that he hit a weak spot.
Voldemort turned around and shot a couple spells at Harry that he quickly deflected with his own wand. "The old man taught you well. But I remain stronger."
"Tom, you have me here, do what ever you want to me, but everyone in the castle will remain unharmed. Is that a deal?" Harry did his best to find confidence, but he was sure that the Dark Lord could sense the question and worry in his voice.
Voldemort simply laughed. "What position are you in to make demands? EXPELIARMUS!" The monster shouted, causing Harry's wand to fly out of his hand. "Now what are you?"
Harry closed his eyes, knowing what was coming next. With his minds eye, he could see Voldemort once again raising his wand. The next thing he heard was the last thing he heard. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" The green light from the wand hit Harry dead in the chest and his whole world went black.
A/N: Well, this was a little bit shorter than I was planning on and I'm not sure I got all the emotional might into it, but you get the idea. This part needed to be told to set up what's to come and set the differences from canon. I hope this wasn't so bad that you guys decided not to stick around. Please read and review, it will make me better!