Hello, everyone!
First of all, in this fic I'm trying a very new style of writing – for me this is new, I never wrote like this –, so please tell me what do you think and about the mistakes I made.
Ok. Hi again! :3
I should either be sleeping or writing more of Tears Of Ink, but what am I doing? I'm writing another fanfic. This is not the fanfic I mentioned on the last chapter I posted of TOI. This is a songfic, based off of a Brazilian song called Me Faça Mais Feliz, by Marina Elali, which when translated to English, means Make Me Happier or something on these lines.
This is another Jarlos and I am not sorry saçkljsaçkljsçalkjs I just can't help myself. They are like my babies, and I love them so much, and lskahsjkahjksah So yeah. Here's another Jarlos for you – and please, note, it's RPS again. And again, I am not sorry. Also, please note the Samlos reference. I love Sammy so much! I'm sad they broke up :/ They were like the ultimate couple and gahh. I'll go down with both these ships: Jarlos and Samlos. s2
Also, this is not very long, really. It's just a little short, fluffy, cute songfic for you guys. Oh, and for the rated: M lovers, I'm already thinking on something. It'll probably be on TOI, but I'm not sure yet. Maybe it'll be a one-shot, just because I like it. And I didn't proofread 'cause I'm so sleepy, so it'd be worthless to proofread when I'm so sleepy anyways, right…?
And I know I talk too much. I always try to make these notes shorter than the actual fanfic, but once again, I can't help myself. Besides, I write mostly when I'm sad. And today I'm just a big puddle of sadness. I'm sorry :cccc
Ok, on with the fic so I can forget my problems for a little while. Please, enjoy! :3 (Also, please, review so I can be a little happier myself :c)
I know it wasn't the time to meet you; nor was it the time to kiss you.
I don't know where I'm going; I don't know where I want to go. I'm foggy, eyes clouded, hands sweaty. Under this state of mind, I let my feet drag me.
…
Bullshit, who am I trying to fool? I know exactly where I'm going, and so do my feet and the wheels of my car.
I knock at the door, but I don't wait for an answer. I just enter the place through the back door, finding him on the living room, launching myself over his strong arms – he is going to hold me down either he wants or not. He is the only one I can go to.
"Please, help me." I whisper against his hard-rock-still-oh-so-smooth chest.
"What are you even doing here?" He asks me severely and I just want to kill myself right now.
"Please, please," I beg, already feeling the stupid migraine crawling into me, "Don't do that to me. Please don't give me shit. Just take care of me."
I lift my head for a brief moment, just to stare into his hazel eyes, just for him to see my pain. Just for him to see what's happening inside of me right now, just for him to feel guilty.
His arms close around me in an iron grip while I feel him inhaling in my hair, and slowly, my breathe goes out and comes in again. I'm feeling better.
After a moment of silence, his voice comes again, and now, I'm the one feeling his pain.
"You are the one who can't do this to me."
I lift my head again, staring right into his eyes, condemning him.
"You are the one who told me to go, in first place. I was the one who said it was not going to work out. Guess what? It didn't. When I finally thought it was going to go fine, it broke down. You know why? Because it just can't be. We are meant to be."
I broke free from his arms, walking to the sofa, sitting down. Here comes my migraine again…
"Carlos, please," he says, and sits down by my side in the sofa, so close I can actually feel his body heat. An all-too-know feeling that I love so much.
"Please."
I repeat, and then launch myself at him again, crashing our lips together. And there goes my migraine away.
But suddenly I was missing you, and I wished to look into your eyes; I wished to see your smile; I wished to see me inside your eyes.
"Do you want to know what happened?" I ask once we set ourselves apart of one another. He only nods. I can't stop my smile, because I know just how much he's holding back right now.
"Well," I start, "There are things that we can't explain. And I woke up feeling like I needed to see you or I'd go insane. So I told Sam that I needed to see you, and she went all mad, and said she was never my priority and blahblahblah-"
I stop for a second, so a can take a deep breath. Then, when my voice comes out again, it's so low that it surprises me.
"I loved her, James."
I sigh. "She was the only one, you know… That was ever able to make me actually forget you for the time being. At least when I was with her."
He only nods – he knows exactly what I'm talking about.
"But then, again," I continue, "There are days and days. And today I woke up wishing I could look into your eyes and get lost in them… Then I said I was going to bring Sydney here so she could play with Fox, but then she started yelling, and started to say how much I didn't care about her and blah." I look at the ground. "The funny thing is: I actually do care about her so much! There must be something really special about her if she was able to make me forget you while I was with her. Guess I'll never get to find out."
Suddenly, I feel his arms around me again, and I know it's not going down. But I have to say it.
"So, please," I beg again, "Don't let go of me and don't push me away. Sam… Sam slip out of my fingers… Don't let me slip out of yours again, please!" I beg, and tears are falling from my eyes, and I don't know when they started to fell.
I didn't get used to be away from you, so don't ask me to forget you anymore.
He nods into my hair. "I'm not letting you go anymore," he whispers, "I love you."
I sigh, but this time, it's in relief.
"Jesus Christ, you don't know how much I missed hearing this."
He laughs. "Want me to say it again?" He doesn't give me time to answer before he's repeating it non-stop. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I lov-"
I laugh. "I get it." But then my voice goes serious again. "Please, James, please." I look at him again, right into his beautiful eyes that I love so much. "What I just said… I was serious. I am serious. Don't… Don't ask me to forget you. Please. It hurts too much. Whenever you say 'We won't work out' – and you say it a lot –, I wonder why am I not enough. What do I do wrong? Why can't you just love me?"
"It's not about this, sweetheart."
He says softly, running his hand through my hair, and by now I know that doesn't matter how much I try, he's not giving in. He doesn't want to have this conversation right now. I bet that, in his head, it goes like: 'I already gave in, Carlos, shut up and love me.' I'm not this easy.
"No," I say strongly, "You've got to understand. It's not easy, James, it's just not! I… I was just a mess all this time. I tried, and I tried harder, and I tried my hardest. I just couldn't. I'd mess your name with Sam's, I'd do your favorite snack thinking it was hers, I'd do so many things thinking about you…"
"I'm sorry." He whispers and I just nod.
"I didn't get used, so please, don't make me go anymore, or I'll go insane."
Let me be happy close to you; I'll wait for you, I'll wait for you to live…
Suddenly, he is rocking us in place, humming something in a low voice, that I remember after a while. Our song. I start to hum with him, rocking together.
Left-right, left-right, right-left.
We stay like that, in that lovely silence for a while. I love him for that. For making me feel so comfortable even when we are in complete silence.
"You promise we'll stay like this forever?" I ask, the fear in my voice cracking me in two pieces. "You promise you'll love me forever, and you'll let me stay?" I look up hopefully, and I'm pretty sure my face looks just like a little child right now. But I don't care. "You'll let me stay with you no matter what? You're going to love me? To care for me? You'll let me be happy?"
At my last question, his eyes budge a little – but just for a second. Then he puts his face in the crock of my neck, inhaling my scent.
"I promise everything you want. I love you. Simple as that."
And suddenly, I pull away from him, my eyes almost falling from their place.
I am offended.
I know it wasn't simple, our love. Only I know what I suffered when it was over.
"Don't make it sound 'simple', James. It wasn't. Only I know what it felt like. Wanna know? Hurt as fuck, burn as hell. Because it was not 'simple as that'."
He sighs. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"Stop!" I whine, tired of being so wifey, getting him agreeing with me just so I can shut up. I'm not shutting up. "Stop making it looks simple. As much as it'd be great if it was simple, it's just not! You can't just come and say you are going to do these things now. You were supposed to do them from the very beginning-"
He places one of his hands over my mouth, sighing.
"Look, Carlos, I know it wasn't simple. If you don't remember, I was a part of it. And just because the breaking up was my idea, it doesn't mean I loved you less. I loved you just as much as I love now – I just thought it'd be easier for both of us. I was wrong, ok. So stop making me look like a jerk. Yes, it wasn't easy, but it is now. So let's make it simple."
And suddenly I feel bad.
"I'm sorry…" I whisper and hear his laugh.
"That's ok, my love. I know how things are going." He leans in and press a soft kiss to my lips.
Put me in your arms, help me rest; make me a kindness, dear. Make me happier.
I lift my head once again, on my tip-toes, placing my lips on his, and just staying there, in silence, enjoying the taste of his lips in mine. But then, suddenly he pulls me up by my thighs, and I place them on his waist, while he carries me up to his bedroom – my favorite place in his house –, struggling in the furniture, but making it up to the place anyways.
He puts me on the bed tenderly, and goes back to close the door – the eyes of a certain dog watching us is a real bad turn off.
We've made history in this bedroom, really. This very same bad and walls would have uncountable stories about us if they could talk. And it's been so long since I've been here in these same conditions… I wonder if these walls still remember my screams, or if now they only recognize Halston's ones. Well, it's about to change.
He comes back to the bed, kissing his way up until he reaches my mouth. Before he can attack it, I hold his face in place.
"You know I love you, right?" I ask, just in case.
He laughs through his nose.
"Of course I know. Because I love you just as much."
And then, the only sounds that my mouth can produce are incoherent noises of pleasure. Noises of happiness.
Ok, it's 1:19am and I'll have tests at 8:10am, and I know it sounds like plenty of sleep, but I have to be up at 5:45am, so I better head to sleep? I think so.
Please, please, pretty please, review! I love reviews so much! I also love favorites, and alerts, and etc, and I know I'm a major dick, 'cause I'm always so lazy to review the fics I read... I'm working on it, I promise.
So, please, review!
And I love Samlos. And I love Jarlos. And I want Sammy Droke back with Carlos (unless Jarlos come out of the closet, then I'm all Jarlos, but as this is not happening...). And I'm all sad again.
Ok, review.
Ok, good night! s2
