Author's Note: This story has been censored to comply with Fanfiction's policy on MA content. Portions of the story have been censored (by the author) for explicit content. An explanation for the censorship is also included in the profile.
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Rick studied the dull gray surface of the rock in front of him, concentrating on not making a sound. He looked at the cracks in its surface, mapped out the weathered sides and felt its rough grain as he held himself in place. A particularly harsh shove caused him to exhale sharply. He briefly considered whether or not he should put his hand in his mouth to muffle the sound. He wondered how long the rock had been there and for how long it would be there after he had gone, after all of them were gone. A rough hand gripped his shoulder and he grimaced as it squeezed the bruise gotten the other day from being slammed into a tree as they fled a group of Walkers. The other hand on him was holding his hip so tightly that he knew there would be another set, those also to be blamed on the circumstances of yesterday.
He questioned how he had let himself get into this situation. If he really thought about it too much he might just lose his mind completely. Shane was unstable. Every time the tension grew too thick, every time Shane was inches from taking him out, every time he could see the glint in Daryl's eye as he raised his crossbow ever so slightly while Shane screamed at them in the background or the fear in Carol's face as Shane slammed his hand down the hood of a car he knew he had to do something. The first time he had tried to calm him down he had taken Shane out in the forest with him to scout for Walkers. He had let Shane beat him to near unconsciousness. It hadn't been a death wish, it had been some insane notion he had for letting Shane blow off some steam. Anyway, if anything had happened to him, Dale would still keep the group together.
He would have almost snorted if he didn't know it would make the other man fly into an uncontrollable rage. Shane was like a little child sometimes. After he had thrown his temper tantrum he would lose the energy to lash out for a while. It was something Rick remembered from training, try and diffuse the situation first before using deadly force. And that's why he was here in the middle of the forest, face pressed against the sun warmed stone, pants around his ankles, moving in tandem with the man behind him. After the first few times, Shane had stopped beating the shit out of him and it had progressed into this. And honestly this was easier to deal with.
Rick guiltily had to admit that letting Shane fuck him senseless was better than having to always say they had run into Walkers. It was getting hard to lie every time he saw the terror in their eyes or when Dale asked if they had been close to the farm. The first time had been hard, he had limped for days. That had been blamed on a trip and tumble down a riverbank. The explanation had seemed to convince everyone but he had seen Daryl and Glenn share a look before walking off. He was ripped out of his musings by Shane's hand pulling painfully on his hair. Shane rapes Rick, who really doesn't care what happens at this point, and leaves him after he's finished. As Shane walks away, Rick masturbates to the thought of having sex with Shane for different reasons.