Author's note: Based on a drawing by Laertena (on tumblr)
I am aware of the whole "only kids have fairy god parents" in the show but for the purposes of this, let's just ignore that.
"Rachel, please don't-" Finn didn't get the chance to finish his plea before the door was slammed in his face. He had no idea what he'd done wrong this time, but he was positive it was worse than that time he told her her how he really felt about "My Headband."
Finn sighed deeply, climbing the stairs to get to his bedroom. There was no use going after her, she's just end up more pissed and then Finn would never get to touch her boobs again.
The past few months had been rough for Finn. Nothing was going right. He'd gotten in fights with most of his friends, broken up and gotten back together with Rachel a total of 7 times, and he had no clue what his plans were after college. He just wished there was some way that someone could just tell him what to do. No. More than that; he wished there was a way he could make all of his dreams just magically come true.
Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, Finn knew there was no such thing as happily ever after; not in his life. Drifting off to sleep, he couldn't help but dream of a world where such a thing existed.
"Be quiet, do you want to freak him out? Because that's what you're going to do." Whispering filled Finn's ears, but his sleep-addled brain ignored it in favor of more sleep.
"I'm just excited! I want him to wake up. What if I jumped on the bed?"
Okay. Finn was sufficiently nervous now. He feared opening his eyes, not really sure what he might find.
He felt a dip in the bed beside him before- "Blaine! Get back up here! He'll wake up on his own time."
Finn dared to open his eyes, slowly but surely. The blurry overcast of sleep clouding his vision momentarily. Wiping his eyes, he heard a gasp from somewhere in front of him - above him?
Sitting up a bit and blinking wildly, he saw big, comical honey-brown eyes, staring right back at him, about three inches from his face.
"What the-" Finn yelped, trying to inch back but his back was already to the wall behind his bed. "Who- what-"
Finn started taking in his surroundings. The eyes belonged to a- well he didn't know what it was but it looked like a tiny floating person - and there were two of them. They hovered in the air in front of him, staring at him with wide eyes. The first one he'd made eye contact with was significantly closer than the other one, but they both had huge, creepy smiles on their faces.
"Finn! So nice of you to join us!"
Finn froze. "How do you know my name? Who are you! What are you?"
"All in good time, Finn." The blue-eyed thing said from behind the other one. "I'm Kurt." He smiled, tapping his head with… a stick with a star on the end?
"I-"
"And I'm Blaine!" The brown-eyed one said enthusiastically, twirling in the air in front of him.
"That's- that's great. But what are you doing in my room?"
"Well…" Kurt started but Blaine didn't let him finish.
"We're your fairy god-parents!"
Finn stared into the space between them. "I don't remember eating any weird mushrooms…"
"Mushrooms?" Blaine's eyes sparkled with interest. "I love mushrooms."
"Allllright," Kurt spoke, wedging himself between Blaine and Finn, shooting a glare at the former, "Blaine's little crush aside, we're fairies-"
"I think that's offensive…"
Kurt rolled his eyes, "Real fairies. With wings, and wands and magical powers?" He made a show of pointing out each physical trait as he said it.
"Magical… powers…" Finn repeated to himself, completely confused.
"I would like to take a moment here to explain that I do not have a crush on our god-child, thank you very much."
"This isn't happening." Finn shut his eyes tightly, "I'll just go back to sleep and when I wake up, none of this will be here."
The floating beings just hovered there patiently as Finn had his freak-out. Closing his eyes, he hummed loudly - though unsure why exactly - covering his ears with his hands.
A minute later, he opened his eyes again, and there was only emptiness in front of him.
That was until a voice sounded from the table beside him. "We'll just be in here until you stop denying reality."
Finn snapped his head and on his bedside table, where there hadn't been one before, was now a fishbowl and two goldfish. One with blue eyes and one brown.
"Yes, Finn. We'll be riiiiiiiight here." The brown-eyed fish smiled - with teeth.
No… this was really happening.
"What is happening to me? I should go to the doctor. Stuff like this happens when you have a brain tumor or something." Finn was talking to himself, running his hands through his hair. Then with a loud POP the fish were gone and the two floating figures were in front of him again.
"Finn, if you'd allow us to explain…"
"You're not real."
"I assure you, I am very real." Blaine waggled his eyebrows, smirking at him.
"Blaine, heel. Can't you see the boy is having an emotional crisis?"
Blaine sighed, "Finn, like I said before. We're you fairy god-parents. We're kind of here to guide you along and help you through your… time of need."
"Time of need?" Finn looked at him, and Blaine smiled warmly.
"We've heard about everything that's been going on… fights with your friends, your girlfriend, and the fact that you're confused about your future. We're here to help you with that. All of it."
Finn looked from Blaine to Kurt and back to Blaine, "So you're… magical…"
They nodded in unison.
"And you're here to grant me… wishes?"
They nodded again.
"Anything I want?"
"Weeeellll…" Blaine drawled.
"Not everything. There is a set of rules," With a loud POOF a large, pink book appeared in Finn's lap. It opened on it's own, and flipped through the pages wildly. "we must adhere to. There are a lot of specifics, but mainly it's a big book of morals. No killing, no bodily harm against others, and we can't make people fall in love with you."
"But-"
"Though I don't see how you'd need our help with that one." Blaine added with a wink.
Finn flushed, "Uh…"
"Stop flirting with the boy, jesus. You'd think having your husband right in front of you would be enough to quell those urges."
Finn watched as Blaine flew toward Kurt, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him audibly on the cheek. "You know I love you, Kurt. It's all in good fun." Blaine smiled, lowering his voice, "Besides, the man is gorgeous, don't tell me you didn't notice."
A blush painted both Kurt's and Finn's cheeks. "Anyway! Onto the next item of business."
"Which is?" Finn questioned.
"Your first wish." The pair of them answered simultaneously.
"French toast."
Silence.
"... what?" It was Kurt.
"I want french toast."
"Seriously? Your first wish is going to be wasted on fried cinnamon bread?"
"I don't think I asked for a side of sass."
Kurt scoffed, and Blaine bit his lip to contain his laughter. The mirth in his eyes gave him away though, "Whose side are you on?"
Blaine let out a giggle, "There are no sides here, Kurt. Finn is our god-child. We have to grant his wishes and the man asked for french toast." He smiled, smoothing his hand over Kurt's arm.
Kurt rolled his eyes, sighing, "Fine. But you have to wish for it. The only way we can grant your wishes is it you phrase them in the correct way. 'I wish...' and fill in the blank."
Finn grinned at the new information. "I wish I had french toast."
With another POOF, Finn found himself unable to speak - or breathe for that matter. His mouth was stuffed full of something - french toast. He mumbled around the food.
"Kurt!" Blaine reprimanded, flicking his wand and making the food disappear from Finn's mouth, allowing him to breathe again. He reached up to his neck, running his hands over it nervously, trying to catch his breath.
"He asked for french toast. I gave it to him." Kurt challenged, with a raised eyebrow.
"I thought you guys were here to help me, not kill me!" Finn argued, hands still clutching at his throat.
"Oh calm down, I wouldn't have let you die. But let that be a lesson to you. Your wishes have to be more specific. Though, that one was my doing, sometimes no matter what we make happen, if your wish isn't specific enough, things can go very, very wrong." Kurt explained.
Blaine nodded in agreement. "You should probably hold onto that book," He pointed at the rule book in Finn's lap. "Give it a read; make sure you know the ins and outs of this before you make any big wishes."
Finn grimaced at the thought. It was a big book, and Finn wasn't all that fond of reading.
"Do I have to?" He groaned.
Kurt opened his mouth to say something when there was a knock on Finn's door.
"Finn, honey? Everything okay in there?" It was his mom.
He looked at the two fairies, unsure of what he was supposed to tell her. They both shook their heads violently. Finn assumed he wasn't supposed to tell people about them.
"Yeah, ma- everything's fine!" He yelled back.
"Alright. Well, let me know if you need anything!"
As soon as her footsteps faded, Kurt spoke, "Another thing – which is in the book – you can't tell anyone about us, or we'll have to leave forever and you won't get any more wishes."
"This is getting less cool by the second." He mumbled to himself.
"Seriously, Finn. Read the book." And with that, they were gone. He glanced at the bowl beside his bed, and there were two fish – regular goldfish – swimming around in it.
Finn had no idea what was going on, but one thing was for sure: it was fairly odd.
The two fairies hadn't appeared the rest of the day and Finn was beginning to wonder that any of it had even happened. The only proof being the large, pink book that he placed in his bedside drawer and the new addition of two fish to his room.
He was confused, but he had tried reading some of the rule book. It didn't really help him though, considering every time he tried to read it, he just got hungry and had to go make himself a sandwich.
It wasn't until the next day, when Finn was at school, that he saw them again.
"How's it going, Finn?" It was Blaine's voice, for sure. But where was he? Finn scavenged his locker for the source of the voice. "Cold." It was coming from... below him?
Finn looked down at himself, and saw the buttons of his shirt had turned into eyes. His eyes widened at the sight. "You turned into my shirt?" He hissed.
"Would you rather I turn into your underwear?"
Finn blushed, stammering, "I- uh-"
"Stop teasing, Blaine." Now that voice came from his locker. He looked inside to see Kurt had turned into his math text book. "Come on, get in here." This was obviously still directed at Blaine.
"Mmm, I don't know. It's like I'm giving him a hug." Finn felt his shirt tighten a bit, clinging to his body. "Huuuuuuuuug."
"You two are nuts."
"You're the one talking to inanimate objects."
Finn glared at book-Kurt, "Why are you here? I thought people weren't supposed to know about you?"
"They aren't." Kurt replied shortly before Blaine added, "We're here for moral support!"
"I'm 17 years old, I think I can handle going to school by myself."
There was a short silence and Finn would have assumed they'd left again if it weren't for the fact that there were eyeballs on his shirt.
"We're here to grant your every wish, and you want us to leave you alone? Is that what I'm hearing from you?"
Finn sighed, "Listen, I am super grateful that you're here to help me and stuff, but I'm at school, talking to my shirt and text book, people are going to think i'm insane."
"Noted." Kurt replied. "C'mon, Blaine. We'll wait for him at home. Mr. Big-shot-doesn't-need-his-fairy-god-fathers has spoken."
Before he could argue, they were gone.
Finn felt colder all of a sudden, "Hmm. It was like a hug."
They didn't stay away, though. During his English class, they showed up as a piece of paper and a pen.
"If I write this answer down does that mean you're like - doing it or something?" Finn asked, horrified.
They pair burst into laughter, which, Finn didn't really appreciate.
And they never answered him.
After a conversation with Rachel that he'd been dreading, Finn all but summoned the two fairies to his locker.
"Come on... where are you guys?" He murmured, rooting through his belongings.
Warmth spread over his torso and he looked down, "Blaine."
"Mmmhmmm. Hugs are nice, are they not?"
"Yeah. Hugs. Okay, um- I need to make a wish."
Kurt popped up as the math book again, "Are you sure? Have you thought through all of the implications of said wish?"
Finn tipped his head, "Probably not. But Rachel is killing me."
Kurt sighed, "What's the wish?"
Finn took a breath, "I wish... that Rachel wasn't mad at me anymore."
Kurt shot a worried glance at Finn's shirt, which apparently spoke volumes to Blaine, "We have to, Kurt."
With a POP they were gone. He wondered whether or not they'd completed the wish. It wasn't long until Rachel came striding up to him, throwing her arms around his neck.
"Are you okay?" He asked her, looking into her eyes.
"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?"
Finn did an internal fist-pump. It worked! Rachel didn't even remember what she'd been mad about - which was great because Finn hadn't even known why she was mad to begin with.
This whole magical fairies thing was definitely going to be awesome.
"How was your day, sweetie?" Carole asked as he deposited his backpack on the floor next to the stairs.
"Great!" He smiled brightly. Carole smiled back, a bit apprehensive at Finn's enthusiasm. "How was work?"
She paused, trying to assess him, "It was... it was fine. Are you feeling okay?"
"Amazing!" He announced, grabbing the bag of chips and plopping down on the couch.
"Okay then. I have a date tonight - a guy named Burt. Are you gonna be okay by yourself?"
Finn smiled, "Yeah. Go have fun. Enjoy your date."
She nodded, still confused at his behavior, before going to her room to get ready.
"So, how's it goin'?" Blaine popped up - in his normal form - beside him, startling Finn.
"Shit- stop doing that."
"Did I scare you?" Blaine poked his shoulder playfully.
"No- I just... wasn't ready for you, is all."
"Mmmhmmm." Blaine giggled. "Anyway. Ready to make another wish?"
"Like what?"
Blaine sighed, "You can have virtually anything that you want in the world, and you are having trouble thinking of something to wish for?"
"Where's Kurt?"
"He'll be here. He's doing some important fairy business." Blaine informed him in a serious tone.
"That's- okay then."
"Now what would you like to wish for? A million bucks?"
"I can wish for that?"
Blaine groaned, "You still haven't read the book, have you?"
"Not... all of it."
"Yes, you can wish for money - the problem with it though, is explaining it to others. But if you wish correctly you won't have to worry about that."
Finn thought on that for a few minutes. He'd love to be rich and not have to do anything for it. But he also didn't want to wish for it the wrong way and end up ruining everything.
"Maybe after I've gotten the hang of this whole thing..."
Blaine nodded, "Good choice."
"How long do I have you guys for?"
Blaine nibbled his lip, "For as long as you need us, or until you turn 20. Which ever one comes first."
"Usually you do, Blaine." Kurt appeared on the other side of him.
Blaine gasped, pink spreading over his cheeks, "Kurt! I can't believe-"
Kurt broke into raucous laughter.
"I don't get it..." Finn frowned, his brain searching for the joke.
"Never mind, Sweets." Kurt waved his confusion away. "How is everything on the Rachel front."
Finn lit up, "Great! She's not mad at me anymore and she doesn't even remember being mad in the first place! Thanks guys!"
Kurt hummed, "Yes, well... it's our job. I must warn you however, that just because things are fine now, doesn't mean a problem with your wish won't arrive in the future."
"What do you mean?"
"Like I said before, you have to be specific with your wishes, and that one wasn't all that detailed. I'm just saying that it might go awry eventually - though I don't know for sure."
Finn nodded, "Thanks for the heads up."
Kurt stared at him for a second and said nothing.
He didn't think Kurt liked him very much. Blaine on the other hand, was infatuated with him. And that could possibly be why Kurt didn't like him.
"So what do I-" Finn started to talk but he realized the two of them were already gone.
"Honey, who was on the phone?"
Finn furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"
"I heard you talking to someone..."
"Oh!" Finn yelled, maybe a bit too loudly, "Puck! It was Puck."
"Alright! Well-" There was a sound of a car door slamming and Carole's eyes brightened. "That's probably Burt. I'll be home later. There's leftovers in the fridge." She kissed the side of his head and made her way to the door.
"Homework time!" Blaine's voice rang out through his bedroom and Finn's head snapped up from the rule book.
"I don't have any homework tonight..."
"Not that kind of homework. The fun kind!" Blaine smiled and Kurt just floated there next to him, his arms across his chest.
"I didn't know think that was possible."
"But magical fairies was in the realm of possibilities for you?" Kurt said, an eyebrow raised.
Finn glared. "If you hate me so much, why don't you just get another kid to... help or whatever."
Kurt softened, "I don't hate you. You're just... a little thick and that annoys me."
"Kurt doesn't have a lot of patience for explaining things. He likes to go in, help, and get out as quick as possible." Blaine explained.
Finn shrugged, "Well I think I got this down now, so you don't have to worry about waiting much longer."
Kurt smiled, "Lovely. And for your next wish?"
Finn's stomach grumbled, "Well I kinda wish I had some pizza."
Kurt rolled his eyes and flicked his wand. Instantly a mouthwatering pizza appeared in front of him.
"Sweet." He grinned, shoving a piece in his mouth and chewing obnoxiously.
Kurt groaned in disgust and Blaine laid down - midair - on his stomach, resting his chin in his hands, sighing in delight.
"Control yourself, Blaine."
"I can't help it. He's so adorable - look at him."
"You realize that a) you're married; and b) he's about a thousand years younger than you?"
"Yes my dear, I am aware that I have a perfect, loving husband right here. I love you sooo much." Blaine got back up, and peppered Kurt with kisses.
Kurt giggled, "Much better."
"Mmm, yes. Much."
Finn had been distracted, shoving piece after piece of the pizza into his mouth. "That was the best pizza I've ever had."
"You ate the whole thing?"
Finn burped, "Yeah?" As if it were the most natural thing in the world - to eat a whole large pizza by yourself.
"Gross." Kurt grimaced. "Now, let's get down to business."
"To defeat... the huns!" Finn sang, and Blaine shook his head, smiling adoringly at him.
"Riiight." Kurt ignored Finn's outburst. "I thought you had it all figured out..."
"Oh I do. I just wanted some pizza."
"Adorable."
"Philistine."
"So, my wish." Finn ignored the pair's statements, wiping his hands on his comforter. "I've thought a lot about it and I need it to be perfect, right? I want money, a lot of it, but I don't want people to ask me how i got it or to question how I use it... and I want people to like me and I don't want the money to change who I am..."
They stare at him, waiting, because he hasn't phrased it as a wish at all.
"But mostly... I don't want anything for free. I don't want to get everything in life without working for it. Where's the fun in that?"
Confusion etched upon both of the fairies faces, Finn smiled.
"So, in conclusion... I don't want anymore wishes. I don't need magical fairies to get what I want in life... I just need to work hard and take what comes at me."
He smiled, looking between the two floating figures above him, "I guess what i'm saying is... I'm happy and I don't need my fairy god-parents anymore."
And they were gone, just as fast as they appeared into his life.
Finn's smile never faded. He may not have everything that he wants, but he was happy regardless, and he knew he'd be a lot happier earning things than just wishing for them.
All in all, Finn learned that no matter how sucky you feel sometimes, it's better to get though it on your own than with the help of magical beings... or something.