Author's Note:
I don't own the rights to any of these songs or their lyrics. They remain the property of the respective owner.
It was fun using them though!
This is a repost - for some reason, this website keeps removing the name of the planet. I'll keep reposting this until they leave it alone - but just in case, this is also up at An Archive Of Our Own - precisely because they DO NOT remove words you type.
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ONE
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"Catch!" she called, tossing the small tub of ice-cream at him. He caught it and pulled the top off with enthusiasm, throwing his feet onto the console, crossing them at the ankles. He dug his spoon in the top of the ice-cream, which was cold enough to hold it straight up.
"Thanking you!" he grinned.
Across the other side of the control room, Martha hopped up on a high chair and made herself comfortable. "So you were saying?" she asked, pulling the lid of her ice-cream pot back half-way.
The Doctor slid down in his chair slightly, getting comfortable. "It always seems to me, you always see what people want you to see," he said, casting her a sly grin before pulling his spoon free of the ice-cream. He jammed the spoon, with a generous amount of chocolate-flavoured frozen dessert, into his mouth and sucked at it cheerfully.
"Er… hang on, hang on…" she breathed, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. After another minute he pulled the spoon out, pushing it back into the ice-cream.
"Oh come on!" he cried, grinning ear-to-ear. "It's easy!"
"Shut it, I'm thinking!" she protested.
He pulled the spoon out and popped it back in his mouth. She concentrated, tapping at her forehead for a long moment. It was too much for him and he rattled the spoon in his teeth maliciously, chuckling at her.
"Sshh!" she hissed. It was quiet for some minutes, only the sound of the creaks, groans, whirs and hums of the TARDIS to break the silence.
"Want some help?" he offered.
"Oh! Oh! I know!" she cried suddenly, opening her eyes. "How long's it going to be before we… oh! Guh! Before we… Oh! Before we…"
"Before we get on the bus and cause no fuss-" he began, but she squealed and interrupted him.
"Get a grip on yourself it don't cost much!" she shouted, and he laughed.
"See? That was too easy," he teased.
"Alright, hang on, my go," she said smartly, and he pushed his spoon back into the ice-cream.
"Ok, go ahead and try," he said smugly, "although I should point out I have a more than unfair advantage."
"Ok, hang on…" She thought for a long moment, the Doctor simply enjoying his chocolate ice-cream. "Right!" she cried suddenly, and he looked up, having forgotten pretty much everything that wasn't freezing and/or cocoa-endowed.
"Shoot," he said gamely.
"My head is in a spin," she said slowly, carefully, "my feet don't touch the ground."
"Ohhh, easy!" he heaved, chuckling. "Because you're near to me, my head goes round and round!" he cried, triumphant. She laughed as he pushed his hands in the air, ice-cream in one and spoon in the other, throwing his head back and singing at the top of his voice: "My knees are shakin' baby, my heart it beats like a drum!" He paused to make loud, high-pitched 'bow-bow bow-bow' noises to the imaginary beat, pumping his arms up and down. She fell about laughing, then joined in and they sang together:
"It feels like, it feels like I'm in love!"
He added more 'bow-bow' noises and she almost slid off the chair, laughing fit to burst. He looked over at her, sitting up in the chair more to see round the console, laughing at her indulgently.
"How the hell do you know Kelly Marie?" she managed, trying to get her breath back.
"That song is a UC!" he cried, still chuckling.
"UC?" she asked, wiping an eye and pushing herself back onto the chair properly.
"A Universal Constant," he grinned, and she laughed again. "Ok, my turn," he said brightly. "Oh, now," he teased, pointing his spoon at her. "And the papers want to know whose shirt you wear," he said triumphantly.
"Oh no!" she gasped, quickly filling her mouth with ice-cream. "Ok… hang on, hang on…"
He chuckled to himself, licking the ice-cream off his spoon and then digging it back in the tub. He was quite happy making a large dent in the contents as she muttered and made strangled, frustrated noises at herself over the course of the next few minutes.
"Want a hint?" he asked eventually, eyes all round and innocent.
"No!" she cried, then gasped. "Ooh I've got it – now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare!" she crowed suddenly, laughing. "A-ha!"
"No, David Bowie," he said smugly. "Although I have a few A-ha CDs lying around the place somewhere."
"Doctor!" she laughed, and he grinned at her, licking the spoon and chuckling to himself. "Right, my go, and this time, it's going to be impossible," she said melodramatically. "You'll never get this one!"
"Try me," he said smugly, and she thought for a long moment.
"Ok, got it," she said, and he pushed the loaded spoon in his mouth, waiting. "If there's nowhere to go, you won't go, if there's nowhere to run, you go slow," she grinned.
He yanked the spoon from his mouth. "Oh easy, that's-." He stopped dead. "Oh - hold on," he said seriously, his grin fading.
She giggled and dug her spoon into her ice-cream quickly, pointing at him. "I've got you!" she squealed happily.
"Not yet, give me a chance, woman! Er, no. Girl? Love? Pet?" He huffed. "Oh, forget it - just let me think," he said seriously, putting the spoon back in his mouth and sniffing.
She continued to laugh and pulled the spoon from her ice-cream. "You'll never get it," she said maliciously.
"I said wait!" he protested round his spoon, and she giggled, swinging her heels against the chair legs.
Suddenly the TARDIS pitched sideways abruptly before righting herself. Martha almost dropped her ice-cream. He found himself sliding off the chair but simply put his feet down, landing square and sticking the spoon in the pot securely.
"I'll come back to you," he said quietly to the pot, then leant over the console. "Ooh," he cooed, apparently curious. "Martha Jones?" he called over his shoulder. "How'd you like to go to the beach?"
"Yeah!" she agreed enthusiastically. "Have we landed?"
"We have indeed," he called brightly, snatching up his ice-cream pot and turning to look at her. "I warn you, it might be a bit warm," he added.
"Where are we?" she dared.
"Floccinaucinihilipilificus Prime," he said cheerfully, ladling another spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth.
She looked at him for a long moment, then laughed out loud. "You are joking!" she laughed. He swallowed quickly.
"No. It's actually called Floccinaucinihilipilificus Prime," he said, his smile dropping. "You haven't heard of it?"
She just laughed, then managed to stop herself, pushing her spoon in her ice-cream and sliding off the stool smartly. "Well just as long as you don't expect me to say it," she said, and he smiled, setting the pot down and sliding his hands into the pockets of his brown suit trousers.
"Actually, it took me about a week to get it right," he admitted. "Comes from the English word floccinaucinihilipilification, meaning-"
"Really, Doctor," she interrupted with a smile, "if it's got a beach and an ice-cream stall, I don't care what it means."
He nodded. "Ok then, let's go," he said, feeling in his pocket for his key. He turned and picked up his ice-cream tub, peered at the contents, and then set it down again, before walking down to the door. She followed, leaving her tub next to his.
"How hot is it out there?" she asked. "Will I need my jacket?"
"Nah," he stressed, shaking his head as he put his hand on the door handle. "It's about… ooh, I think about thirty degrees C, not a cloud in the sky, gorgeous light breeze - Wimbledon weather," he grinned affably, unbuttoning his own jacket, as if to take it off. She grinned.
He opened the door for her. She stepped out first. And screamed.
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