Update as of 1/6/2017: Looks like I've been hit by the Fanfiction police!

Basically, this story is not allowed to be on this site. I've moved it to AO3 under the same penname, drunkdragon. So it's still there, though you may have to navigate a bit. I will be leaving my notes here for posterity purposes, though.

Now a bit in regards to this story in particular, it's hard to say whether I'm calling quits on it or not. However, should a new chapter come out, I will either make a notice on this website, or put up a toned down version of the chapter and put up the full version on AO3.

Thank you for all your support and understanding

A/N: For the four people who voted for shotaRobinxPedoTharja, Christmas has come early.

I really don't know what to say about this fic. All I know is that one day I thought of this silly setting and figured "Why not?" This was actually supposed to follow the direction similar to a 30-topic kink meme of sorts, except with actual word porn. But when I did some more research on it, I found that the topics and format didn't really match my intentions.

Speaking of intentions, one could call this a Plot About Porn, counteracting the idea of Porn Without Plot. Somewhat. Maybe. Originally it was supposed to be more like one, but then when I started writing it out, it sort of morphed out of that path and became something else. I would still call it a Plot About Porn, but maybe not as much of a forefront category as compared to the previous direction.

Also, some of you might call this a thinly veiled blonde mMorganxTharja fic. And you would be kind of right. I did imagine using blonde male Morgan as the body type for the Robin in this fic, except he's even shorter and probably around fourteen. Think Lissa's age, except just a bit younger. But don't worry, because that will be taken care of, one way or another. Or maybe you should worry because it will.

Finally, if you're squeamish about the whole situation, you might want to take a deep breath before continuing because things are probably going to get awkward. It will still be funny, but it will be awkward. And yes, I might as well throw it out there, although you probably already know by now. There will be lemons. You have been forewarned. But you may also feel like you've been a recipient of targeted advertising. I leave the interpretation to you.

I do not own Fire Emblem.

I look forward to all comments and criticism.