Monday, 1st of August
8:05am
LaLaLaLa, today's the first day of the last month of school !!!!
Met Jas at her gate.
"Hey Jazzy-Spazzy Knickers, guess what?"
'Don't call me that."
JEEEz, in a huff already and she's not even out of her gate.But I am not going to let it spoil my mood on this gorgey day.
"Fine, I'll call you this. This, guess what?"
She rolled her eyes and huffed away.
I ran to catch up with her. It wasn't hard--she's been piling on the pies. I can tell by the voluminous and billowy her knickers are this morning.
'Jazz-uh, Jas?"
Silence
"Today is the first day of the last month of school!"
Silence
"That means no more learning and more time for, er, vegetable boy Tom"
She perked up a bit at that and started playing with her fringey like a stupid fringey...thing.
"Oh yeah, and now Tom and I can finally--"
"ERLACK!"
"EXPLORE THE BACK FIELDS"
We walked on in silence for a bit.
"Jas?"
"Hmph"
"This also means, no more Hawkeye, no more books, no more Elvis' dirty looks, no more Hawkeye, no more books, no more Elvis' dirty looks, no more Hawkeye, no more books, no more Elvis' dirty looks"
Started to dance around, still singing. Spazzy Knickers just stood there, arms crossed and glaring . She was glaring, not her arms. Anyways.
'Don't be so--"
I grabbed her hands and started swinging her around in circles.
Eventually she got into it too, and we continued down the path still singing and stopping occasionally to dance frenzy.
Just then the Bummer Twins slagged by.
"Oh look, the lesbians are having a party. Shall we?"
"Lets."
Then they shoved us into a gorse bush.
8:15am
Hobbling to Nursey.
"owowowowow"
"ooooh,I've got prickles in my knickers."
For some reason this set me off into a laughing fit. By the time Nurse Pinchot called us in, I was coughing and choking and wheezing, as red faced as a loon.
8:30am
Bloody Hell, I've been sent home! Nurse P. took one look at me and sent me off .Jas tried to explain what had happened, but I was laughing so hard I had a coughing fit. The nurse thought I was having an allergic reaction and so I was swnt home. As I went out the door I looked back to see Jas being told to bend over and the nurse had big tweezers in her hand. OOOER.
8:45am
Skipping home singing "Born Free." A voice right behind my ear said
"You should be humming FreeBird."
I screamed and fell...into another gorse bush.
9:50am
Crawled home. Thanfully, I didn't see anyone I know on the way home.Thankfully Thankfully I was wearing my safe knickers, in case someone came by and saw up my skirt.
9:57am
Went into the kitchen.
"Hello, dear family, I'm home!"
No response...hmmmm...
9:59am
No one in the living room
10:03am
No one in any room.I'm all alone in my time of need!!!!!
10:09am
Peace, oh wonderful peace! At long last!
10:16am
Nice to not be disturbed for once.
10:25am
UHOH,doorbell.
Maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away.
10:27am
RingRingRing and KnockKnockKnock
Locked the loodoor.
10:30am
All quiet. Inner peace, ooohmmmm...
10:31am
Did the stairs just creak?
10:31 1/2 am
Oh my god someone's coming up the stairs!And I'm in my nuddy-pants...and defenseless!
in the linen closet
Grabbed the plunger and ducked into the linens loset. Maybe they don't even know anyone's here.
thirty seconds later
But then why would they ring the doorbell ?
later
Still waiting. I'm hungry. And have to go to the Piddly Diddly department.
4pm
Swiss Family Mad finally home. I never thought I'd be so glad to see Dad's ridiculous moustache that he's trying to grow.
Mum found me. I had nodded off and only woke when Mum pulled the linen closet and fell starkers onto the floor.Mum said "I'm not even going to ask."
4:10pm
Told Mum about the whole fiasco, from the prickly knickers bit (ooer) to falling asleep in the linen closet. She said it was the chimney sweep. Dad had asked him to come when noone was around because of the chimney dust. Mum says he's a "gorgey little Chinese man".
Oh, lord.
4:15pm
That would explain the mini skirt and excessive perfume.