HAI.
So yeah, I know I'm supposed to be writing chapter 7 for "Where Are You Now," but this idea popped into my head, and it refused to leave. I gave it a go, and THIS*points down* was created. I have to say, I like this one. I'm even proud of it. It just came out SO good.
Ok, enough of me. Go ahead and enjoy, since I wasted all my time doing this. Literally.
PS: If you haven't read "Where Are You Now," PLEASE go and read it. PLEASE.
Disclaimer: I (sadly) don't own Jimmy Neutron. If I did, it would've never been canceled, and we would still be enjoying the awesomeness that is the boy genius.
FOREWARD!
What Hurts the Most
Sixteen year old Cynthia Aurora Vortex sat in her room on a Saturday night, alone. Her parents had gone to some dinner with one of her dad's colleagues, and "forgot" to bring her. Not that she would care, anyway. Now that she was an outcast, she reveled in being alone. She was still going great in school, passing her classes with A's, and mastering her martial arts, but now, it just wasn't the same.
Now with him gone, there's no one to challenge her intellect, no one for her to compete with. She was now the top student in all her classes, and no one dared to change that. She still had her fiery, snappy attitude, which increased over the years, and was more agile and quick than when she was just eleven. Her expression was now a permanent cold, calculating expression, and she had long ago stopped talking to people, becoming anti-social. Libby Folfax, Cindy's best friend, grew concerned and tried to help. She was moving across the country in a few weeks after the sudden change in Cindy, however, and she left, too. She tried to stay in contact with her friend, but it proved hard, since Cindy had begun to isolate herself.
Sheen and Carl were intimidated by Cindy, and never came up to her. She slowly became isolated, and she liked it. She sat alone in the cafeteria or outside, staying away from the crowds and every once in a while, she would visit the library.
Her long, beautiful, and shining blond hair, which she used to treasure as if it were gold, was cut off, and it was now at the middle of her upper arms, medium length. She kept her bangs, though, letting them grow. They now covered her eyes, and hid the green orbs underneath.
She had dropped her nickname and now went by her full name, Cynthia. When a teacher, staff member, or fellow student called her Cindy, she would either ignore them or smirk and walk away. She gained the reputation of being cold and cruel, but smart.
Everyone shied away from her like she had the plague, not wanting to disturb the new and frightening Cindy.
All these drastic changes began the day James Isaac Neutron left the town of Retroville.
~Having so much to say, watching you walk away~
Cindy couldn't believe what he had just said.
"You're leaving?"Jimmy had just told her that he had gotten accepted from Harvard, even if he was only thirteen.
He had nodded. "Well, I got accepted to go to Harvard, Cindy. I wouldn't be thinking straight if I refused this opportunity."
She shook her head, trying to clear away the hysteria she was feeling. "Neutron, you can't do this. Think about Sheen and Carl. What would they do without you? Carl would easily get picked on by Butch, and without you around to help him out, he's helpless. And who else would put up with Sheen but you? That kid drives me crazy with his rants about Ultralord, and God knows I can't stand him. Maybe Libby can, but everyone has their limits." She finished and looked up at him, since he was now half a head taller than her.
He shook his head again, sighing. "Vortex, I have to go. It's an enormous choice that will affect some people, yes, but for me, it's worth it. If I have the chance, I'm going for it. Do you know how long I've waited for this moment to come? I've been waiting since I was nine, and now that it's finally here, I'm going. Call it destiny if you will, but for me, there is no other option."
"What about your lab? Who will take care of it? Vox only recognizes your voice, and only you know what those experiments you have down there do. Even I don't know what half those inventions of yours do. You can't possibly be thinking of leaving everything behind, do you?"
Jimmy sighed, and replied. "I'll shut it down for the time being. If it comes down to it, I'll leave you in charge. You're the one who knows the most about my inventions than anyone else. The ones you don't know about, I'll show you." He sighed again. "Cindy, I say it once again. It's Harvard. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I can't waste it. Think about it, by the time I graduate from that university, I'm going to be around nineteen, the age students normally get accepted. It's wonderful that they want me there, when I'm just thirteen."
"Well, you are a genius, Neutron. Of course they want you there. It would make them look good, having a young prodigy in science residing in their school."
"I know perfectly well that the reason why I got accepted so fast is because they want to look good. Either way, I'm going. There is nothing anyone can say that can change my mind."
Desperate now, since she had run out of options herself, she opened her mouth to say the one thing she was sure would keep him here. She would tell him that she loved him. He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her next argument, but it never came. It was night, and they were speaking in Jimmy's backyard, in front of his lab. His mother called him to go in and finish packing, since it was the day before he was to leave, a Saturday.
"Jimmy! Wait, I…" She couldn't find herself to finish her sentence. Said person turned around and looked at her, surprised that she had used his actual name, but either way was waiting for her to speak.
"What, Vortex?"
Cindy had to say the words, but she couldn't, they wouldn't come out. So she settled for saying something else, even though it hurt her to not tell him what she actually wanted to say. There was so much she wanted to say, but there was little time, and Jimmy was leaving soon.
"…Good luck, Neutron," she whispered. He looked at her quizzically, as if to figure out if she was actually wishing him luck or if she was just bluffing. He saw she was sincere, and his eyes softened.
"Thank you." He told her, looking her in the eye.
She looked away, tears threatening to fall. "You're welcome," she said, forcing her voice to not break while talking.
"Jimmy! You need to finish packing!" his mother called from inside.
"Coming!" He turned to the blonde. "Goodbye then, Cindy."
She turned to look at him, her eyes shining with tears. She forced a neutral expression on her face, and said, "Goodbye, Jimmy."
He cast a confused look at her, but nevertheless nodded, then turned around and went inside.
She stayed there for who knows how long, staring into space, until she regained her ability to walk and left his backyard.
~Never knowing what could've been~
Jimmy was leaving the next day, Sunday, and Cindy went to say goodbye with Sheen, Carl, and Libby. Libby went because of Sheen, who she had started to date a few months ago, and Cindy went because she couldn't just ignore him, seeing as she lived right in front of him.
Well, used to now.
Jimmy was putting the rest of his things inside his parent's car. They were going to drive him to the airport, where he was going to board the plane to leave. He turned around to find his friends holding out a banner that read "Congrats! We're going to miss you!" Carl and Sheen held the edges while the girls were on the sides. Both Sheen and Carl looked supportive, with smiles gracing their faces, even though their eyes held sadness at seeing their old friend leave. Libby was next to Sheen and was smiling sadly, waving at Jimmy. Cindy was next to Carl, and looked distant. Her startling green eyes were staring off into space, a far-off expression on her face. She seemed to realize that Jimmy was looking at her, because she turned and looked him in the eye.
She smiled and waved at him, trying to make it seem as if his leaving wasn't affecting her. She did a good job because after a few seconds of looking confused, Jimmy smiled and waved back.
"Thanks, guys." He said, smiling at his two best friends. He then looked at the girls. "And girls."
Libby laughed it off, and Cindy just smiled, even though under the surface she was hurting. "Ah, no problem, Jim! It's the least we could do! You are our friend, after all!" Libby said. She wrapped an arm around Cindy, and while the guys were talking, she whispered in her ear, "Did you tell him?"
Cindy was about to burst into tears, her calm and carefree façade slowly cracking, and Libby noticed. She quickly told her, "Cin, it's okay. We'll talk about it later, k?" Cindy only nodded, before wiping her eyes of the small moisture that was about to fall. She fixed her expression, and turned to Jimmy.
"Hey, Neutron! You better visit us! We're your friends, after all!" She raised her eyebrows, daring him to say any different.
He laughed and nodded. "Of course I'll visit! No one can easily forget the place they lived in, right? It'll be hard, though. I won't have the money to pay for an airplane ticket to fly over here, and I obviously can't bring my hover car. I wish I could bring Goddard too, but it's not possible." He looked at his robotic dog, who had been his companion since he had created him at seven years old. Said dog whined and looked up at his owner, his eyes reflecting his sadness.
Jimmy leaned down to pet his dog and after a moment sighed, standing up. "I'll miss all of you. You are the best friends anyone could ask for."
Sheen and Carl responded quickly, telling him the same thing. Libby laughed and yelled, "Group hug!" Sheen and Carl converged on Jimmy, and Libby followed after. Only Cindy hesitated, doubting that hugging him would make getting over him easier. She caved in, though, and joined the hug. She still wonders to this day if that hand that touched her arm was Jimmy's or not. The hug ended too soon though, and Cindy never found out who had touched her.
"Jimmy, it's time to go," Mrs. Neutron said, coming out of the house. She smiled at them and said, "Kids, it's time to say your final goodbyes." Mr. Neutron came out seconds later, and smiled at his only son.
"Well, well Jimbo. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. When you have a genius for a son, you have to expect the unexpected." He wrapped an arm around his wife, who was looking at Jimmy with tear-filled eyes, but was smiling.
"We'll let you kids say goodbye. Come on Hugh." Mrs. Neutron smiled at all of them and went back inside with her husband.
Jimmy turned towards them and sighed. "Well, I guess this is goodbye, guys."
He hugged each of his friends, and willed himself to not cry. He hugged Carl, who was also trying not to cry, although he wasn't succeeding at it. His tears were shining through, about to be shed. Sheen wasn't crying, although his eyes were sad. Either way, he was smiling at his old friend, and hugged him also. Libby embraced Jimmy next, and he smiled at her. She was smiling happily at him, but there were tear tracks down her cheeks. Over the years, both of them grew to be friends, and now they cared for each other like brother and sister. Seeing Jimmy leave saddened her yet made her happy. He was going to fulfill his goals and become the world renowned scientist/inventor he was meant to be. They hugged each other and let go, smiling sadly at each other. He then moved on to Cindy.
She was using every ounce of self-control she had in her to not break down at that moment, and it was proving to be extremely difficult when he was right in front of her. He looked her in the eye, and then smiled. She forced a smile, and tried to make it seem genuine. Apparently, it worked, because he smiled again, and held out his arms.
"Can I hug you, Vortex? Or are you going to scream bloody murder?" He told her, clearly teasing. She smiled forcefully, which didn't go unnoticed by Libby, and responded.
"Scared of hugging me or what? You hugged everyone else, and I'm just going to stand here?" She shook her head, faking anger in her tone.
Jimmy grinned at this. "Very well." He then pulled her into his arms and hugged her too. She was as stiff as a board for a few seconds, and then she relaxed and hugged him back. She knew this was going to come back and bite her, but at the moment she didn't care. All she wanted was to stay in his arms forever. Jimmy didn't let go of her immediately either, so she wouldn't too.
Meanwhile, the other three were looking at Jimmy and Cindy. Libby was looking at Cindy, a knowing smile on her face. Sheen and Carl however, were surprised, wondering why Jimmy would want to hug Cindy, and for that long.
Too soon, they pulled away, and both looked at their friends.
"What?" They asked in unison. Neither of them noticed they had spoken at the same time, but the three in front of them did. They gaped at them, which made Jimmy and Cindy even more confused.
Libby shook her head, thinking how in synch they were, and how they never noticed. "Nothing, nothing." Cindy looked suspicious, but let it go. She would ask Libby later. After the few moments of silence that followed, Jimmy shook his head and said, "I'll try to keep in touch guys. I will."
His parents were already exiting the house, and he would be leaving in a few moments.
"Okay Jim, don't worry about it! We'll be waiting to hear from you, okay?" Libby said. She had stopped crying and was now smiling widely.
He nodded. "Okay Libby. Like I said, I'll try."
Cindy began to be fed up with it all. "Okay Neutron. Stop with the tearful goodbyes." She pointed to him. "You're coming back, right?" Jimmy nodded, too surprised by her sudden outburst to say anything. "Then what's the point of this? You'll all see him sometime in the future, so stop with the crying. You're all giving me a headache." To emphasize, she rubbed her temples, closing her eyes.
Libby shook her head, smiling at her friend's actions. Jimmy's parents had finally reached them, and all five friends turned to them.
"Jimmy, time to go," Mrs. Neutron told her son. He nodded and walked with his mother and father to their car, getting in the backseat. He turned to look at the window and smiled at his friends. As the car started driving away, he waved to all of them. They all waved back enthusiastically, and he thought to himself, 'they really are going to miss me.' He smiled again, settling into his seat for the rest of the ride.
As the car became just a speck in the distance, Cindy just couldn't take the onslaught of emotions anymore. She ran to her house across the street, not bothering to check for cars. The tears were already starting, and she didn't want anyone to see her cry. She disappeared in her house and made a dash for her room.
Libby ran after her almost immediately, yelling over her shoulder to Carl and Sheen that she would see them later. She ran up the stairs of the Vortex residence and reached Cindy's door, which was closed. She opened the door and found her best friend curled up on her bed in a fetal position, crying her eyes out. She instantly went over to her, embracing her and rocking her softly.
"It's okay Cindy. Just cry. I'm here."
"Li-libby, w-w-why am I c-crying s-s-so much?" Cindy sobbed. She was frustrated with herself, wanted to stop this right now, but couldn't. Where was the strong girl, the one who never broke down in even the worst situations? This crying, unstable girl wasn't her. She never cried. She couldn't find it in her to stop though. The tears flowed freely, and there was no reining them in.
"Because you love him." Libby told her simply.
'Yes, I love him. And what do I get because of it? Years of trying to get him to notice me, to get him to think of me as more than just a rival, that's what. And it never paid off because he never even looked my way, just kept drooling over Betty like some sort of brainless zombie.' She thought the last part with a bit of venom.
Here she was, crying for a boy who doesn't even know she loves him. She's brokenhearted because he never even noticed how she felt for him, and he's off to Harvard thinking everything back in Retroville is just perfect. Damn him and his big clueless brain. She's wasting tears for someone who never considered her as more than a friend.
'He will never know I cried because of him. Ever.' She thought fiercely.
After less than half an hour of not responding, Cindy finally spoke. Her voice was a bit scratchy from not using it, but she could be understood nonetheless. "I'm not denying anything, because I just don't know what I'm feeling right now." She was still crying, although now her tears just flowed silently down her cheeks. After a few minutes of silence, Cindy spoke again. "He's gone, but my feelings aren't." She sighed in frustration, and then told her friend, "They won't leave so soon, I know that. I'll either try to live with them and ignore them, or I'll use them for my benefit." The last part of her speech was said with a fierce, angry determination that Libby recognized almost immediately.
She slowly realized what the blonde girl in front of her was saying, and her eyes widened in shock. "Cin, you can't possibly mean that. Hate is hate, love is love! Two very different things! They're not meant to mix! You already tried that, when you used to hide your feelings by hating him, and it clearly didn't work out! Cindy, please listen to me!"
Said girl closed her eyes. "Thanks Libs. Like I need to be reminded of that." She told her friend, an edge of bitterness in her tone. She kept her eyes closed until she sighed and opened her eyes once more to look Libby in the eyes. "I'm not going to change my mind, Libs. It doesn't matter how much you beg me not to."
"But girl, that's no reason to do that; Jimmy's clueless, just like Sheen and Carl!" she exclaimed.
"I know he's clueless, I just thought I could get him to realize things without me having to actually tell him what I feel." She sighed. Her previous anger dissipated quickly after those words left her mouth. The tears had subsided somewhat, although they hadn't stopped completely.
How could she have fallen so hard for the big-headed genius across the street? When did this all start?
Of course, like all romance stories, she had loved him since he moved to Retroville, right in front of her. Since she first laid eyes on him, actually. But her story didn't have a happy ending. Neutron has gone to college, and won't be back for who knows how long. She's left at home with a broken heart, crying for him, and he doesn't even know.
'Keep yourself together. Show no weaknesses.' She remembered her mother telling her that once as a child, and it soon became her motto. Show no weaknesses. And she will not fail that because of a boy.
"Aw Cindy, don't cry. Girl, it's all going to be all right, just you wait." After saying those words, Libby smiled warmly at her friend. Cindy smiled back, albeit her smile was sadder. Seeing this, she then sighed, and continued, "Cin, please listen to what I'm saying. You'll only get hurt in the end. What'll happen when Jim comes back? What will you do? You know you can't keep this up forever."
Cindy sighed again. Libby was right. She couldn't keep this up forever. He would come back, and she'd fall all over again, just by looking at him.
'That doesn't mean I won't try.' She thought. It filled her with determination, which was all she needed.
To pacify Libby though, to make her think she didn't have to worry about her anymore, Cindy nodded. "Okay Libs. Can we please not talk about this anymore?" Libby nodded, also wanting to change the topic.
The rest of that day, both girls stayed in Cindy's room, watching every movie the blonde girl owned. Libby had slept over, and the girls went to school together the next morning.
Life went on normally, as if the boy genius had never left. His friends missed him, of course, but everyone had to get back to their lives.
Shortly after Jimmy's departure, Cindy began to go straight home after school, not even pausing to talk to her friends. She'd come to school at her usual time, but went to the library and stayed there until the bell rang to go to class. She still talked to people during class, but not as much as normal. Libby noticed the difference, but thought nothing of it. She thought she was probably trying harder for school.
Then, around a month later, she stopped talking to people altogether. She started to sit in the very front in classes and wouldn't talk to anyone. At lunch she still ate with Libby, but would stay quiet. She would give only one word answers, and wouldn't say much else. Libby then began to grow worried, and was determined to figure out why she was suddenly distant. But then her parents suddenly announced that they were moving to Florida in three weeks.
The day she told Cindy she was leaving, the green eyed girl did what was expected of her. She didn't take it very well.
"You're moving?" Cindy practically yelled. In the back of her brain, she winced at how close it sounded to when she had asked Jimmy he was leaving.
Libby sighed. "Yeah. My dad is being relocated to Florida for his job, and we all have to move there so he can work better."
Cindy started to shake her heed. She began pacing the length of her room, where the news had been delivered.
She was mumbling under her breath, and Libby could barely make out what she was saying, but understood it. "No. Not again. First him, and now Libby. No, no, no. Not again, not again."
"Cin!" the call fell on deaf ears, as Cindy wasn't paying attention. She was too busy murmuring "no, not again" over and over again. After a few minutes of this, Libby had finally gotten tired of it and grabbed Cindy's shoulders, forcing her to stop. Cindy looked up, looking lost and sad.
"Please don't leave Libby. Please." Cindy whispered
That comment made Libby hug her friend. "Oh, Cindy. I'm so sorry. I don't want to leave either, but I can't just stay while my parents go. I wish I could stay."
"It's okay Libs." Cindy sighed, leaning back from the hug. She sat down on her bed and looked at her best friend. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure girl?"
Cindy sighed yet again. "Yes, Libby. I'm fine. Stop worrying about me so much." She offered a small smile, and patted the spot on the bed next to her. "Come on and sit down. Don't just stand there."
Libby looked unconvinced at first, not believing that Cindy was actually fine, but let it go. What mattered right now was that Cindy was okay.
Those three weeks had passed by quickly, and before the both of them knew it, it was the day before Libby was to leave.
That day, they dedicated it to having a girl's night. They watched every movie the both of them owned, laughed till tears sprang from their eyes, and recalled the memories they had shared. They told lame but funny jokes, and remembered the many inside jokes from the past. Both ate their fills of popcorn, and then some. The night of fun passed too quickly, and suddenly, it was the day Libby had to leave.
Sheen had come along, sad to see his girlfriend leave. Carl came too, but stayed quiet. Cindy was barely keeping her tears at bay, and was smiling at her friend. She and her family were already done packing, since Cindy had helped them put their things in the car. They would drive to the airport, and board an airplane to Florida.
"I'll miss you Libs." Cindy was smiling sadly. Silent tears had begun to flow down her cheeks, but she made no move to remove them. Libby smiled sadly also, and hugged her long-time friend.
"I'll miss you too." They hugged for a long time, neither of them wanting to let go. Too soon they pulled away. Libby turned to her boyfriend, who was smiling sadly.
"I'mma miss you too, you hyper ball of fun." She smiled and hugged him tightly. He hugged her just as tight, and sighed.
"Libby, call every once in a while, alright?" Sheen mumbled. Libby looked up and nodded at her boyfriend.
"Of course I'll call, Sheen. Don't you worry about that." She smiled up at him and hugged him again. She then let go and looked at Carl. He was quiet the whole time Cindy and Sheen were saying their goodbyes, and now it was time for him to do the same. Libby smiled gently at the llama lover and hugged him also. Carl hugged her back, and when they pulled back, Carl finally spoke.
"I'm going to miss you too Libby," Carl said quietly. Libby smiled again.
"I'm going to miss you too, Carl." She looked at Carl, Sheen, and Cindy. "I'll miss all three of you. And I promise to call as soon as I can get my hands on a phone." She smiled at all three of them for a moment and then sighed. "Would you three stop with the long faces? You're even making me sad." At the complaint, all three smiled. Sheen smiled cheerfully, albeit the sadness peeked through, Carl smiled sadly, and Cindy smiled genuinely, but with silent tears down her cheeks.
Libby's parents appeared, and Mr. Folfax told her daughter, "Libby, it's time to go." Cindy winced slightly. Mr. Neutron had said the exact same thing. Her mind kept repeating 'First him and now Libby. No, not again. Not again, not again, not again…' over and over. It just cruelly reminded her that she won't be seeing two of the most important people in her life anymore. Neutron is at Harvard, and Libby is going to Florida. First her rival/crush, and now her best friend. This couldn't be happening…
Libby nodded towards her father and turned to see her friends. "Well guys. I'll be talking to you later." She smiled at all of them before getting in the backseat of her parent's car. She waved to them once thee car started, and rolled down the window when it started driving away.
"BYE GUYS! I'LL MISS YOU!" she shouted out the window. The two boys and girl waved back, and Cindy shouted back the same thing before the car disappeared.
As soon as the car vanished from sight, Cindy sighed and her shoulders drooped. Sheen looked worriedly towards her, but she didn't notice. It was until he spoke to her that she noticed.
"Cindy, uh, you okay?" Said girl turned to Sheen, confused. He never talked to her because he was scared of her. She was too drained from pretending to be happy for Libby's sake to snap at him, though.
"No." she sighed once more and closed her eyes. When she opened them again a few moments later, Sheen was still looking at her worriedly. "Relax Sheen. I'm just not in the mood to snap at you or Carl today." Sighing once again, she told them, "You know what? I am tired, so I'm going home. Bye." And with that, Cindy left Libby's old home.
~Hard to deal with the pain of losing you, but I'm doing it~
Cynthia sighed, putting down the book the book she had been trying to read. She just couldn't stop thinking of her childhood, which prevented her from reading.
She had been happy, although there was the issue with her parents almost separating, but either way, she was happy. She had a best friend she could count on anything for, she was great in school, a loyal dog, everything. Then everything changed when Jimmy and Libby left. Two of the most influential people in her life, gone. Libby moved to Florida, and Jimmy left for Harvard. She sighed again and stood up. She walked to her window and looked at the sky. There was a full moon, and she stared at it.
After a while of looking at the moon, she got up from her position in front of the window and got ready for bed. After a shower, brushing her teeth, and dressing in her pajamas, Cynthia got in her bed and closed her eyes, praying that sleep come quickly, so she wouldn't have to face the never-ending memories of the past she would die to change.
~I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart, that I left unspoken~
SOOO, did ya like it?
PLEASE review. Criticize it, give feedback on it, give me tips on how to make it better, whatever you want. Just PLEASE review.
And I know that Cindy is very OC in this, but this is meant to show of her weakness of losing the people around her.
If you guys and girls want a chapter two, tell me in a review. (THAT RYHMED!:O) I already have the idea; I just need to know if anyone liked this enough to make it into a two-shot, probably more.
BYEZ!