Hey guys! This is my first Kingdom Hearts FanFic but I hope you enjoy it anyways. I'm trying to ease into writing for this category because I love the games and the characters and really love writing about them...anyways please be gentle but constructive criticism is welcome as long as it is constructive mind you. And NO FLAMING please leave it to the professionals like Axel ;) Well read and review and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters...sadly they belong to Square Enix and Disney, although I wish I owned Axel...yum:. heehee...anyways also the lyrics belong to their respective artists which I will list.

Avril Lavigne - Together

Hilary Duff - Outside Of You, Burned

Eyes Set To Kill - Pure White Lace, This Love You Breathe

Evanescence - Lithium

Secondhand Serenade - Vulnerable

I gave you guys the songs also because I know what it's like when you see lyrics you like and you want to check out the song but you can't find it anywhere and I don't like that so yea there you go:)

I hope you enjoy my story and don't forget to click review!

Luv,

Schmelly Inc.

Oh and the lyrics are in italics. Enjoy!

.::Burned::.

You know it's kind of weird…I want to trust him; feel as if I can confide anything to him, and he says that I can but I don't think I can no matter how much I want to. I mean can you honestly trust some one who turns their back on people who trust and depend on him when a more appealing offer presents itself to him. That's not exactly what I would call a trustworthy person.

.::don't be blinded by his eyes, don't be blinded it's disguise::.

I think that I know him one second; that he might like me for me, that he could actually be my first friend, but then he gives me a glimpse of a different side. A side that scares me, leaves me all alone and broken with the constant abuse that piles on my body and soul. And he gets enraged when he sees the caution in my eyes and it kills me when he walks away.

.::will somebody save me or will I get burned?::.

He has yet to show me that he actually cares, that it hurts him to see me vulnerable and beaten. He never stands up for me when Marluxia and Larxene come knocking to torment me to the point of insanity, never steps in, never wipes away my tears, never ever tells me everything will be okay. It's so hard when he's only there for me at select times…when it doesn't inconvenience him. The rest of the time he chooses to be as cruel and insensitive as everyone else in this fortress of despair. I can see it in his eyes despite what he says or does; he thinks he's above me, that I'm just some insignificant little witch. But it's kind of funny…

.::you're just as useless as me, just as lonely::.

They saunter around the halls, put me down, step all over me , break me until there's barely anything left…but they're just like me. Just as feeble, just as hopeless. They are all pawns resting in the hand of someone powerful and ruthless. Whether they realize or accept it, it isn't relevant. They'll lose their worth and be thrown away like yesterdays news, just like me.

.::choking on your fear, you no longer see so clearly::.

I must seem really isolated and pathetic and I guess I accept that deep down I am. I suppose it's because if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to handle any of it. Everything thrown my way would hit me full force if I bared my soul for everyone to see and mutilate as they wish. I need my shield, it's the only thing that keeps me safe. I can't depend on him to do that anymore…I admitted to it a while ago, some things really open your eyes to reality and it's horrible. I'll never be as strong as him so I know I can never ever let my guard down…I'd lose everything

.::tell me what makes you think that you're invincible?

please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable::.

He's never taken his temper out on me physically but his words, laced with the fire that boils in his veins, tear me up more than his chakrams ever could…his eyes, narrowed to a sharpness envied by the edge of any knife, cut me more than Larxene's knives ever have and scar me in places that she never can. His words set my heart on fire and it smolders until it's broken and blistered. I'm left in endless agony that only an emotional injury can inflict. But it's those eyes, that kill me inside, that keep me alive. His eyes have such an intensity, one that makes my cheeks flush and my eyes soften with an emotion I can't possibly feel. There are so many emotions that dwell inside those viridian orbs and it's amazing how his eyes can expose a million feelings that his heart can never actually feel. Maybe it's love that I think I would be feeling if I could but that scares me because I don't know how it works. His eyes pull me in more than his arms ever have but I push it all away…both him and my illusory emotions. In those rare moments that he doesn't show me his darkest side…I shove him away.

And he hates me for it.

And I hate myself too.

I'm so afraid to get through to him and so I leave him all alone the way he leaves me and I know it kills him just like all the times he has killed me…

.::I'm outside of you…and I can't get through, you're overlooking the beauty that's dying inside me

I could be something beautiful, I guess you'll never know::.

I want to save him…I want him to save me but I'm so confused. Everything we do points us in the opposite direction and I get lost just like I know he does. He never lets me forget that no matter how many times a week I open my window…no one will come in with the rain. Nobody will ever save a nobody, not even another nobody. He uses every chance he gets to destroy even the littlest sliver of hope he sees light up my eyes. We can't possibly hope for anything: we can't even believe. Were hopelessly stuck in a continuum that will only stop when we both fade into oblivion. He kills me as I kill him and I guess It'll never stop. So he's right again, as he always is. We'll never be saved, we don't have a hope in the world…we'll disappear and everything we worked so hard to accomplish will die with us. But I can't help but think that maybe if I could try and hope it might be enough…but I'll never know. He won't ever try and he will never let me.

.::reality overcomes me, we're living a lie

together holding hands we'll fall::.

So In the end I've learned to accept everything no matter how hard it is to handle. We'll both outlive our purpose; be thrown away and then suffer slowly as we fade. We'll never be saved. And through the whole downward spiral, through it all…

.::I always find my place among the ashes::.

He'll burn me…

Well that's my first story! I really hope I did okay but I hope even more that you enjoyed it...Well until next time I suppose!

Don't forget to push review! I'll be your best friend and give you a cookie! Heehee Thanks!

With Love,

Schmelly Inc. mwah!