AN: I do not own these characters, although I would like to.
It was stupid really. There was no way for Wally to know but still it left Robin completely off balance. His thoughts were reeling as if on play back.
Earlier that day...
They were just hanging out in the kitchen waiting. The whole team was dressed for action eagerly awaiting Batman who said he would be arriving any minute with a new mission.
With no real conscious thought Robin was passing the time buy balancing one handed on the back of a bar stool. With his entire body dangling upside down with ease of his skilled act was nothing less than impressive. The rest of the team however was well used to such antics from Robin so continued their conversations easily.
"Arg! I thought he would be here by now!" exclaimed Wally who was pacing the room impatiently.
"Wally he will be here soon, you need to be more patient." said Kaldur calmly.
"Yeah Wally, grow up." said Robin obnoxiously smiling from his upside down view. Even he saw the irony in telling Wally to grow up while doing handstands but that only made it funnier in his opinion. Kid Flash didn't.
"Oh yeah!" Wally made a gesture of rolling up a sleave while advancing on Robin but was stopped by Superboy.
"Stop. Pacing." said Superboy in that dangerous almost going to have a temper tantrum voice.
Kid Flash smartly decided not to push the clone. Instead childishly stuck his tongue out at Robin to which Robin returned as soon as the others looked away.
"Miss Martian." Red Tornados voice sounded over the intercom.
"Yes?" she answered.
"Batman is beaming in now. I suggest you assemble in the main hall." said the android.
"Yes!" Wally punched his fist in the air and with his super speed was gone... well in a flash.
"Let's go." said Kaldur and in a more orderly fashion he, M'gan and Superboy headed out leaving Robin alone in the kitchen doing his balancing act. He was just about to just to finish his acrobatics with a back flip onto the counter when Wally raced back into the kitchen.
"Come on Rob! Cut thetrapeze act, let's go already!" he whined with exasperation.
It was not Wally's sudden reappearance that caught Robin off guard nor was it the being yelled at just as he was about to jump down. It had just been so long since he had been a part of a trapeze act.
His arm buckled in surprise and rather ungracefully he plummeted to the floor (head down bum up) with a decisive "CRASH!"
For a moment the room was deathly quiet until...
"WAAAHahhahaha! Haha that was priceless! You should see the look on your face." laughed Wally holding his sides as he watched his friend unsteadily get to his feet. He mistook Robin's look of shock. He thought Robin was surprised by his fall.
While hitting the floor hadn't helped Robin's now queasy stomach it wasn't the cause. Images of the past flashed through his mind at light speed.
The sound of a roaring crowed, the smell for popcorn and animals, the heat of the lights on his skin. It was so vivid he could almost feel it. Then the hush of the audience as his parents perform their trapeze act at the height of the big top.
Then it happened.
There was a moment of stunned silence as his parents fell to their deaths. That's what he'll always remember more than the screaming that followed. It was that suspend moment of disbelief that his world was never going to be the same.
"Rob? Yo Robin?" Wally had finally stopped laughing enough to look a little closer at his friend. He was wearing an expression that he couldn't identify.
"You ok? I didn't mean to laugh if you hurt your head." said Wally guilty. Robin didn't look quite right.
"...what? No. I'm fine." said Robin bringing himself back to reality. "We should go. Don't want to keep Batman waiting." he did not look at Wally as he spoke and left quickly eager to get away from the scene; and his memories.
Later that night...
In Miss Martin's ship returning from the mission Robin was silently berating g himself on his many mistakes that took place that night.
He just couldn't keep his focus and he knew the rest of the team had noticed. He could feel there glances and worried looks on his back. Robin chose to ignore them. He tried not to be angry as he knew he owed them all for picking up his slack during the mission.
However the only thing he felt at the moment seemed to be anger. Anger at himself, anger at Wally for not keeping his mouth shut, and anger at Batman for sending them on the stupid mission in the first place.
And still the memories continued to surface. Maybe it was because he was caught off guard, or because it had been so long since he really mourned his parents deaths but he just couldn't shake them. Robin thought he had put it all behind him.
Bruce had taken him in and given him a home and a family. As Robin he had purpose and could find comfort in helping others but at the moment a part of him just wanted to wallow in grief; or lash out in anger.
They arrived back at Mount Justice and Miss Martian landed the plane. The team disembarked onto the landing pad and Robin quickly headed to the exit. He just wanted to go home to the manor, however fate was not that kind.
"Robin wait. We need to talk." said Kaldur from behind him. He turned to see the whole team standing by Aqualad looking at him expectedly. Robin felt the anger rise closer to the surface. He was in no mood for twenty questions.
"Not now guys." Robin said shortly turning again to leave.
"Rob what's wrong with you? You where totally off game tonight. " questioned Wally.
"Yeah, we shouldn't have to pick up your slack." griped Superboy as usual lacking tacked.
"If there something wrong you should tell us." added M'gan.
Meanwhile Robin felt like a pressure cooker really to explode. He clenched his fists tightly by his sides. If only they would stop pushing him.
"Where not here to accuse." said Kaldur trying to be diplomatic. "But as a team if there is something wrong it's our business..."
"Your business!" Robin rounded on him suddenly in a rage. "You have no right! You don't know anything!" he shouted.
"Only because you won't tell us." M'gan managed to squeak but was quite scared of Robin's sudden outburst.
"Well why don't you just probe my mind and take it from me?" said Robin harshly turning aggressively toward her.
"Hey that's enough." said Superboy grabbing Rodin's arm. Robin and Superboy took a moment to glare each other down.
"Let go if you want to keep that arm." Robin hissed in a dangerous voice. Although removing Superboy's arm would be no easy feat, there was something frightening about Robin at that moment that made everyone believe he could, and would do it.
With a slight shove Superboy released him.
"Rob, calm down. Is this because of what happened earlier?" said Wally truly shocked by Robin's outburst. He just wanted to diffuse the hostility in the room. Unfortunately he had the opposite effect.
"Shut up!" shouted Robin flaring up again this time turning on Wally. "If you just keep your big mouth closed I never..." Robin trailed off unable to finish his sentence without giving everything away. Not just because it would compromise his identity but he was just too enraged to speak to them. Robin reflexively let his defences slip into place rather share how damaged he felt at that moment.
The team stared incredulously at Robin waiting for further explanation; or maybe some more irrational shouting. Instead he fell silent and was glaring so intensely at the floor that Kaldur was sure it would combust soon.
The silence that followed was intense and uncomfortable until Batman arrived on the scene.
He had been waiting for the Young Justice to arrive for there debriefing when he heard shouting echoing from the landing bay. As he made his approach he became aware that all the yelling was coming from none other than his own ward Dick Grayson.
As they briefed for the mission earlier that night Batman had felt that there was something not quite right with Robin but he trusted that if something was wrong that he would confide in him. As he surveyed the teens standing in front of him he felt he may have miscalculated.
Robin stood apart from his team and was apparently trying to burn a hole in the ground with his glare. The others were looking at Robin with looks of both surprise and anger.
"What's happened here." demanded Batman looking between all team members. All but Robin turned their attention to him to give an explanation. Kaldur being team leader stepped forward first.
"We were just trying to determine the reason for Robin's distraction on this mission and Robin..."
"Went totally ballistic!" cut in Wally pointing an accusatory finger in Robin's direction.
"Yeah we were only trying to help." added Superboy folding his arms.
"Perhaps he is not feeling well?" suggested M'gan figuring it may be some strange earth illness.
"Robin..." Batman began but was cut off by the boy in question.
"I quit. Can we go now? " said Robin in a monotone surprising all present. Batman raised an eyebrow. What on earth was going on? This wasn't like Dick at all.
Robin walked away from his team and to Batman's side though still not looking him in the eye. Instead he stared sightlessly down the dark tunnel. "Please I just want to go home." he said so quietly that only Batman (and Superboy) could hear.
Batman knew whatever was going on needed further discussion just not here and not now. He gave Dick's shoulder a quick squeeze in confirmation before turning back to the others.
"I'll be back at 0800 tomorrow for a debriefing. Until then you should get some rest."
With that Batman and Robin left the hanger leaving the remaining team in shocked silence. Finally Wally spoke up.
"Did that just really happen? Did he really quit?" asked Wally stunned.
"I think so." said M'gan equally surprised.
"But WHY!" exclaimed Wally totally freaking out.
"Calm down. Maybe when Robin has cooled off he'll come back." reasoned Kaldur.
"But we don't even know what we did to set him off in the first place!" said Wally still unhappy with the lack of answers. Where did all that rage come from? What happened to the cheeky runt of the group who made the wise ass remarks? What was wrong with his friend?
"He was just griping on us cause he did so badly on the mission." said Superboy going for the easiest explanation.
"No he was out of it before then, right after he fell off the chair." said Wally thoughtfully.
"Did you push him?" accused M'gan frowning at Wally.
"What? No. He fell on his own I swear. I might have laughed, just a little bit." Wally admitted grudgingly.
"I don't think something like that would make him lose it like that." said Superboy remembering last week's food fight.
"Either way all we can do is wait." said Kaldur.
Taking charge Kaldur organised the team for their meeting tomorrow. They left for their respective homes and to bed. Although none would sleep well tonight as they all reran events from the night trying to understand Robin's strange behaviour.
At the manor of Bruce Wayne young Dick Grayson lay quietly on his bed feeling horrible. He shouldn't have lost it like that. They must all think he's such a freak; well at least more of a freak than before.
And then there were the memories. Every time he closed his eyes they seemed to come up fresh all over again adding to the already heavy weight at the pit of his stomach.
He had thought that after a shower he would feel more normal but nothing seem to help. Dick was grateful that Bruce hadn't asked him what had happened yet, though he knew the conversation would come eventually.
After his shower and dressing in his comfy PJ's Dick had flopped down on top of his bed a stuck his head under his pillow hoping to block the nightmare out.
Not long into his internal struggle he heard his door open followed by footsteps. To someone else Bruce's entrance would have seemed extremely quiet but Dick knew better. Bruce wanted him to know he was there; it would be no trouble for the Batman to get in completely unnoticed.
First Bruce took in the state of his adopted son (face down with his head under his pillow) but said nothing. He grabbed a chair and sat by the bed head and waited.
Dick could feel Bruce watching him and knew what he was doing. No. Not this time. If he wanted to talk Bruce was going to have to break the silence first. He would just lay here and ignore him. Ha.
Time stretched on and Bruce continued to wait patiently though he could see Dick fidgeting. He always won this game. Finally Dick huffed and brought his face out from under his pillow making his hair stick up at funny angles. He glared at his mentor who stared back calmly. Dick never stood a chance.
"I'm not going to talk to you." he stated. Oh, yes the irony.
Bruce didn't move an inch which only irritated Dick further. He sat up from his lying position bringing him eye level with his silent combatant.
"Look I know you want to know want happened but I really don't want to talk about it right now. They got what they disserved and let's just leave it at that." said Dick lying to himself as much as Bruce whom lifted a disbelieving eyebrow.
"Okay, okay. So they didn't." he admitted and turned from Bruce unable to look at him as he made his confession. "I messed up. I totally lost my temper over nothing."
Dick sat silently waiting for Bruce to say something, anything. Scold him for his erratic emotions or comfort him and make everything ok. But instead there was only more silence.
Dick spun back to his foster father ready to yell but Bruce's calm expression stalled him. He was sitting forward in his seat with his elbows rested on his thighs ready to hear the full story. Bruce knew him too well, he knew there was more to it than that.
Dick sighed. "Alright it was something. But it was stupid and just spiralled out of control." explained Dick sitting down in front of Bruce with his leg dangling off the bed. As he spoke he watched his toes.
"We were waiting for you in to arrive and I was messing around on the chairs. When you got there Wally told me to 'cut the trapeze act and hurry up'. It floored me, literally. After that all I could see was ... it happening over and over again."
Dick look up when he felt a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. Bruce's eyes were not pitying but understanding. He immediately felt better. Bruce knew and he always knew the right things to say or in this case, not to say.
"Thanks." said Dick truly meaning it.
He was about to get settled back into bed when Bruce cleared his throat. He should have known he wouldn't get out of this without some kind of lecture. Grudgingly he turned back to Bruce. After all he had let him have his say it seemed wrong not to let Bruce have go now.
"Dick do you think this would have gone so far if you talked about it with them?"
Dick snorted "Oh yeah and like your such an open book." he countered.
"This isn't about me and you're not me. I'm asking you if it would be easier if they knew more about your life? If you could talk to them?" Bruce pressed.
Dick sat thoughtfully for a moment. Would it be better? It would be nice to talk about his life with his team, his friends. And not just the darker parts of his life. He could share who he is with them and it would make things much easier. There's just one problem...
"But what about your secret identity? I don't really care about mine but if they know me it'll defiantly lead to yours." asked Dick uncurtain.
"Talking to them about your life may or may not lead them to your secret identity. And if it does lead them to mine we'll just have to deal with that if it happens. " said Bruce simply which surprised Dick.
"I thought you didn't want them to know who we are?" he questioned.
Bruce hesitated. "I don't. But in light of recent events it may be more important for you. Do you trust them Richard?" Bruce's use Dick's full first name only impressed upon him how serious the question was.
"Yes." he said without reservation.
"Then that will have to do." Bruce accepted and he stood from his chair to leave. "I'm heading in tomorrow morning, you should come too." Bruce added at the doorway.
"Sure." agreed Dick with a nod.
"You know one day I'm gunna win that reverse psychology thing you do. Then how are you going to get me to spill?" joked Dick as he climbed into bed.
"Never going to happen." said Bruce gruffly as he shut the door but Dick saw Bruce's half smile.
This time when Dick closed his eyes he didn't see his parents die, instead he just fell straight into blissful sleep.
"Hey."
Kaldur, Wally, M'gan and Superboy were dressed as civilians as they all stood stunned at the thresh hold of the kitchen. Robin had also dressed in civvies which still included his black sun glasses. Dick had taken Bruce's advise an decided to let his friend in on some of his life but he would still do his best to keep his name; and Bruce's, a secret.
When the team didn't respond he decided to continue.
"Um I guess I owe you guys an apology... and an explanation." said Robin and as he was still greeted by silence he scratched the back of his head nervously waiting for a response.
As usual it was Kaldur that came to his senses first.
"Robin we are glad to see you back." said Kaldur taking another step into the room but still giving Robin space.
"Yeah and talking instead of yelling is nice too." joked Wally in an attempt to break the tension and followed Kaldur's lead.
"Huh, yeah. I was having a bit of an off day." admitted Robin guiltily.
"A bit?" razzed Wally and received a elbow from Superboy.
Soon they were all casually seated around the kitchen but there was still some tension in the air. The others were afraid to say anything that might cause another outburst while Robin was trying to decided what and how to tell them what happened. They would be the first people he would confide in since becoming Bruce's ward.
"So..." began Kaldur cautiously "you said something about an explanation?"
"Yeah well about yesterday..." Robin began.
"You went completely nuts." cut in Wally.
"Wally!" said M'gan reproachfully.
"Well he did!" said Kid Flash defensively.
"He did." agreed Superboy and M'gan glared at him too but with less effect.
"Please continue." said Kaldur to Robin trying to get things back on track.
Robin took a moment to collect his thoughts.
"I think to understand why, you have to know some things about me. It's not something I like to talk about but I think you should know; I want you to know." he said trying to explain.
"When I was young I saw something... bad. Really, really bad." Robin managed still finding it difficult to share this information. Still his friends waited patiently for him to get it out in his own time.
"My parents died and I saw it... I watched them die." said Robin looking directly at friends waiting for their reaction.
The silence was tangible as the team tried to process this huge piece of information.
"Man, I'm sorry." said Wally walking up to put a hand on Robins shoulder which was immediately shrugged off.
"I'm not looking for a pity party." Robin said little more forcefully than he meant.
Wally put his hands up in surrender not wanting to get into another fight. "That's not what this is. I promise."
Robin ran a hand through his mess of black hair. He was doing it again. He pushed away the irrational anger and tried to accept his friends gesture for what it was. An act of kindness. "I know Wally, sorry."
"No there is no need for apologies." said Kaldur. "We are honoured that you would share such personal information with us."
"Hello M'gan." said M'gan as she does and then Robin was suddenly being hugged by M'gan so tightly his feet leave the ground for a moment. "I've heard that hugs are and earth custom to help others. Is it working?"
"Um yeah sure." managed Robin as he was running out off air in her crushing hug. Luckily she released him. She smiled down at him and he couldn't help but smile back. M'gan believed that all his problems could be solved with a hug and he couldn't stand to burst her bubble.
"I've never had parents." Superboy spoke up. "But it must be hard to lose them. I'm sorry Robin, for that, and for grabbing your arm."
"S'ok Superboy. I think I kinda had it coming." admitted Robin.
"That and more." said Superboy gruffly but with a smile and Robin smiled in return.
With the tension in the room finally gone all the teens visibly relaxed.
"Batman and I talked and we agreed that it would be ok for me to talk about this stuff with you guys." said Robin.
"Seriously? Really you mean it? So what's your real name then?" said Wally enthusiastically and Robin grimmest away from the question. He was afraid this would come up. While Batman had said them knowing their secret ID's was allowable Robin still felt protective for his mentors sake.
"I can't." said Robin and Wally's face fell. Robin felt a pang of guilt.
"I can, I mean I want to be able to talk to you guys about... well anything. You are my best friends and I know it's asking a lot but please don't check into my identity." said Robin seriously and the group looked uncertainly to each other. As Robin received no response he pushed on.
"I know you guys must be really curious but this isn't for me. I really I couldn't care less about myself. But Batman, he's my family. If you know who I am it will compromise him. So please don't..."
"We won't." said Kaldur assuredly and looked to the team members around the room. "This is obviously very important to you. So even if..."
"We are so dying to know!" cut in Wally with maybe a little too much enthusiasm. Kaldur gave him a warning look. "But like Kal said, this is important so we won't." Wally conceded.
"Thanks." said Robin relieved. He trusted them to keep their word.
"Great. Who wants to go to the beach?" said Superboy easily and M'gen's face immediately lit up.
"Oh, me! Let's go guys!" she said enthusiastically and quickly pulled Superboy toward to door and he let her.
Kaldur, Wally and Robin exchanged a look and went to follow.
"So Rob, before you know... you went nuts, what did I say wrong exactly? You know just for future reference." asked Wally curious.
Robin shook his head and smiled to himself. He wondered if they would believe him.
"It was nothing really. Something stupid..." Robin began as he told his story.
FIN
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