Hello lovely people! I think there's not enough love in Bartimaeus fanfiction, so Imma just submit a little something something;) Shoutout to C'sMelody for inspiring me to write my own Bartimaeus Fanfic after reading her beautifully written masterpiece of a story, girl you rock.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Bartimaeus characters, they belong to Jonathan Stroud. Also, the beginning has a line taken from the book where Bart shouts to Nat "Mandrake! Forget Harlequin. We have to go." Which is used for the sake of the plot.

Nathaniel was waiting for his turn at the hot dog kiosk, wondering what was taking Harlequin so long. It was his turn to order. The vendor put a steaming sausage in a soft bun, some ketchup, and extra sauerkraut. Nathaniel was momentarily distracted as he haggled over the amount of sauerkraut.

"Could you please put more sauerkraut?" He asked in Czech. "A little more. A little more. More. Keep it coming. Perfect."

And with his perfect meal he turned, and dropped his hot dog.

Bartimaeus was almost on top of him, he was standing so close. Nathaniel cursed. "I thought I told you to keep watch around the plaza. Why are you standing over my head?" Also, why was he looking at him like he grew another head?

Suddenly, the sound of bells were approaching, lots of them. Nathaniel cursed for the umpteenth time and turned back to Bartimaeus. "It's the Czech police. Someone must have tipped them off we were here."

"Mandrake! Forget Harlequin. We have to go."

Had Nathaniel still been holding on to his hot dog, there was no way it would have survived now. His hands dropped down in shock as he stared at another Bartimaeus running over.

"Hey, stop looking so dumb and-" The Egyptian boy halted. "Who the hell are you?"

Bartimaeus 2 looked at them both sheepishly. "Look, I know this looks a bit weird and I can explain, but I have a feeling we don't have the time right now." He turned to look around. "This looks like the time the Czech police came, oh, and that hot dog guy is Harlequin." The two of them looked at the hot dog seller shocked, who, to be fair, also looked thrown.

The fake Bartimaeus kept going as if everything were normal. "Ah! There's that one building. I actually felt a bit bad for that little old lady there." He shook his head mournfully. "She seemed to have put in a lot of work into those walls and flowers…"

"Ugh shut up!" Then as if the boy had an epiphany, he pointed at me and said. "Bartimaeus, I charge you to take care of these soldiers while the real Bartimaeus and I make our escape plan."

Bartimaeus 2 smirked. "Wow, still the rude-ass Nathaniel I know." He laughed evilly. "Sorry Nat, but I have a new master now. And quite frankly, his orders are far more preferable."

"Quiet!" The boy obviously forgot the situation in his panic of me saying his real name.(1)

(1) Nathaniel. Maybe it was because whenever I said it, Nathaniel would make the most interesting jerky dance moves, but it sounded like music to my ears.

There was no more time. The police pulled up their rifles with intent to shoot. Harlequin started pedaling towards the police, trying to distract them.

This was their cue. The "original" Bartimaeus picked up Nathaniel and put up a shield, which didn't work against silver bullets. The boy turned and glared at the other me. It was intriguing really, like watching a movie of something that happened to you.

But before I had a chance to get some popcorn, I felt a painful tug at my essence, and the whoosh of a million light years as my master tried to locate and place me back into his own time. It's a new technique, time travel, and a pretty risky one(2), especially for those who abuse it.(3)

(2) It involves launching your body faster than the speed of light. Of course it's the poor Djinn that feels the effects and not the magician. Remind me to pick up the pieces of my essence I left on the Mayflower through a particularly boring time trip. Oh, and not to mention the other risks where you end up embarrassingly back in the hands of enemies you thought you'd never have to see again. Luckily, I saw the vat of soup coming this time and had some savory revenge as my enemies were the ones that ended up in a pot of soup and not me. Yes, this has happened more than once.

(3) i.e anyone who got their hands on it.

And with a poof I was back in the heavily carpeted room of my master, who was looking up at me with an eager glint in his eyes.

"Well, did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Did you complete your mission!"

"My mission?"(4)

(4) After time travel is the prime time to mess with a magician. My master was barely able to hold himself up for exhaustion, poor thing.

"Don't play dumb with me Bartimaeus!" He clutched onto his side tenderly. "You know perfectly well what you were ordered to do." He took a shaky breath here. "And if you don't cooperate, I'm afraid I'll have you transferred to the Master.(5) You wouldn't want that would you Bartimaeus?

(5) The Master. Leader of the The Natural Order, a cult that was formed 50 years ago after the government collapsed and a newer one with commoners was established. Nobody knows who truly founded it but it was decided that there were several founders from the old government, including our lovely Jane Farrar

"Sorry, unlike you, I don't fear my masters. I've actually been quite embarrassed by them these days. Can't even manage to send me into the right timeline. I swear, if I get sent into another Boston Tea Party... Ouch!"

My master managed to hit me with some fiery stiples. Then he collapsed.

"Sheesh." I said while rubbing my backside. "I mean I'm more worried about you over here. If you keep sending me to the wrong time, who knows what that'll do to your constitution. How about taking some time off to recover and practice, what do you say, boss?" I gave him my sweetest smile.

He just groaned, and we sat there. I shifted in my circle awkwardly as he looked at me.

"You have something to do with this."

"Hmm?"

My master got to his feet unsteadily. Even I was a bit impressed.

"You are somehow evading the course."

"And just how am I doing that?"

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know...but I double checked the spellbooks, my pentacle, the crystal formation. Everything is as it should be. I send you to the correct times. I know I do. So, either you are doing something to knock yourself off course, or you're bluffing."

"Wow, you caught me. I love having my essence spread around in different centuries. A little bit for the dinosaurs, for the Mayans, for the baby boomers. There's plenty of me to go around!"

"Then, you're bluffing."

"And keep myself from going back to the Other Place? Face it, you just don't have what it takes to deal time."

My master just chuckled. "My God, if someone would have told me demons had feelings, I would have sent them straight back to the crazy homes! But now, I can see it clear as day, and it really is something to behold."

The Djinni looked genuinely confused. It blinked. "I feel like we 're having two different conversations here."

But like a madman wearing a sign and screaming at people in their cars about how the world was going to end, there was no way to cut the conversation short. You just had to wait for the light to turn green. In other words, me in my pentacle was starting to get a little weary of where this conversation was going.(6)

(6) Nowhere. It was a weird 180 turn that some magicians pull to confuse the hell out of their slaves. Unless I were an imp, this almost never works. Look, if the djinni brain runs on something like the sun, the human brain is run by a potato in comparison.

"I read about how John Mandrake kept you enslaved for several years." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "It's not so crazy to think that some affection may have been borne out of this 'partnership'."

Ok, nope, not gonna wait this one out. "Ok, first of all, how could a sun love a potato?"

"I didn't say love. My aren't we quick to draw conclusions. But yes, Jane did tell me all about this twisted relationship between you and Mandrake. I thought a Djinni would want to kill his master after all those years of being under his thumb, but I guess this was more than just business."

"Mandrake saved my life. Even my soulless self wouldn't feel comfortable taking away his. That doesn't take away the fact that time travel really does take a toll on my essence, as well as the fact that if I didn't do this-"

"Ah yes!" My master cut me off gleefully, and rather rudely. "You'd have to face the Shriveling Fire.(7)

(7) The Shriveling Fire. A complex spell made out of fifteen different curses in five different languages to immolate the demon unlucky enough to get hit by it. It could only be used on a spirit that directly disobeys an order.

"Exactly! Glad you're able to keep up!"

My master studied me for a moment before turning back to his books. "Ah, yes, I see here I did mess up. The timeline is shifted a little."

"See?"

"Well, I could see there's no deep love between you. Some sort of bond, maybe, but I could see that inside, you mostly want to seek vengeance against humankind. This has always been what you wanted, so go take it out on one of your cruelest masters who dared keep you here for so long. Go back in time, and kill John Mandrake, and stop this ridiculous commoner government from ever forming."

With a swirling of colors, and a rude gesture or two, the Djinni left the pentacle and into another time.

The magician, whose name is Gerard, turned back to a different pentacle. "Aargan, go follow Bartimaeus and keep me updated. I want you to watch him close, but be sure not to be seen, and await further instructions."

A mist, the color of dark absinthe, came rising up. It was barely perceptible to the spirits eye, invisible to others, even the magician who summoned it. But Gerard would be able to see what the mist sees and direct orders comfortably from his office.

The words "I listen and obey" disappeared along with the mist as the lighting in the room became abruptly darker in sudden evening, for time was officially broken and things were about to get a lot more complicated.

My one regret for this story is having Nat drop his hot dog, and then again theoretically. I wish I could've just let him eat it this time around. Also, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but then it teetered into whatever my hands were typing, so I have no idea what the next chapter will be, but don't worry, I'm just getting started;)

Please leave a review on your way out, what you like, what you were confused about, anything (ideas?). Thank you ^^!