Another Star Wars-Disney mash-up, and this time, a certain Jedi Master is the hero.
Disclaimer: Mickey's Christmas Carol belongs to Walt Disney, and Star Wars belongs to Disney, Warner Brothers, 20th Century Fox, George Lucas, and J.J. Abrams.
Luke's Christmas Carol
Chapter 1: Malak's Ghost
In Galactic City, on Christmas Eve, the stingiest man in town, Revan, walked down the street. There was no Christmas cheer in his heart though. Revan hated the whole idea of Christmas. As he walked, he passed a homeless man as he outstretched his hand.
"Give a penny for the poor sir." The man said. "Penny for the poor."
"Bah." Revan said simply before continuing to his counting house, Revan & Malak. Revan never bothered to paint out Malak's name.
"My partner Alek Malak." Revan said calmly. "Dead seven years today. He was a good businessman. He robbed from the widows and swindled the poor."
Revan looked at the sign and smirked.
"In his will he left me enough money for his tombstone, and I had him buried at sea." Revan chuckled to himself.
()()()()()
Inside the store, Revan's bookman, Luke Skywalker, was about to put a thing of coal in the fire while Revan was out when he came in.
"Oh... Uh..." Luke said nervously. "Good morning Mr. Revan."
"Skywalker, what are you doing with that piece of coal?!" Revan asked angrily.
"I was just trying to thaw out the ink, sir." Luke said timidly as he pointed to the ice covered ink quill.
"You used a piece last week!" Revan snapped as he grabbed the coal and tossed it in a bucket. "Now get on with your work, Skywalker!"
"Speaking of work Mr. Revan tomorrow is Christmas, and I was wondering if I could have... Half the day off?"
"Christmas." Revan spat angrily as he thought. "Mm... Oh, I suppose so, but I'll dock you half a day's pay. Now let's see... I pay you two credits a day."
"Uh, two dollars and a quarter, sir." Luke corrected.
"Oh right." Revan said. "I gave you that raise three years ago."
"Yes sir." Luke said. "When I started doing your laundry."
"Alright Skywalker, get busy while I go over my books, oh and I've got another bundle of shirts for you." Revan said as he tossed a moderately large laundry bag at Luke.
"Yes sir." Luke said quickly.
Revan then sat down and went over his notes as a large amount of money sat in front of him.
"Now let's see..." Revan mused. "One hundred and twelve credits from Onasi, plus his eighty-percent interest, compounded daily..."
Revan laughed as he played a little with a few coins.
"Money, money, money."
Then the door opened, and Revan's nephew and only living relative, Obi-Wan Kenobi came in.
"Merry Christmas!" Obi-Wan called out.
"And a merry Christmas to you, Obi-Wan." Luke said as he took a break from his books to talk to Obi-Wan.
"Bah humbug." Revan muttered.
"Merry Christmas, Uncle Revan!" Luke called out with a smile.
"What's so merry about it?" Revan asked moodily. "I'll tell you what Christmas is, it's just another work day, and any jackanapes who thinks else should be boiled in his own pudding!"
"Ew." Obi-Wan remarked.
"But sir Christmas is a time for giving." Luke said quickly. "A time to be with one's family."
"I say 'Bah humbug.'" Revan said stubbornly.
"I don't care!" Obi-Wan called out. "I say 'Merry Christmas!'"
"Well said Obi-Wan!" Luke called out as he applauded.
"Skywalker, what are you doing?!" Revan asked angrily.
"Uh..." Luke said nervously as he stopped clapping. "Just trying to keep my hands warm, sir."
"And what are you doing here, Nephew?" Revan asked testily.
"I've come to give you a reef and invite you to Christmas dinner." Obi-Wan said as he handed Revan the reef.
"Well..." Revan said with a smile. "I suppose you're going to have plump goose with chestnut dressing?"
"Yup." Obi-Wan confirmed.
"And will you have plum pudding and lemon sauce?" Revan continued.
"Oh yes!" Obi-Wan said with a widening smile.
"And spiced sugar cakes with candied fruit?" Revan finished.
"Yes!" Obi-Wan said excitedly. "Yes! Will you come?"
"Are you insane?" Revan snapped. "You know I can't eat that stuff, now get out!"
"Alright." Obi-Wan said as he put the reef on the door. "Merry Christmas!"
"And a bah humbug to you!" Revan shouted back, but Obi-Wan had already left.
"That Obi-Wan." Luke said with a chuckle. "Always so full of kindness."
"Yeah." Revan said. "He always was a little peculiar." The door opened again. "And stubborn!"
Instead of Obi-Wan, a very slim Kel Dor male was there with a well-built Nautolan male walked in.
"Oh, customers." Revan said with an excited smile. "I'll handle this, Skywalker."
Revan then walked up to the two.
"Yes, what can I do for you two gentlemen?" Revan asked.
"Sir, I'm Plo Koon, and this is my associate, Kit Fisto." Mr. Koon said. "We are soliciting funds for the impudent and destitute."
"For the what?" Revan asked.
"We're collecting money for the poor." Kit translated.
"Oh..." Revan said. "Well, you do realize that if you give money to the poor, they won't be poor anymore."
"Well that's true." Kit said.
"And if they're not poor anymore, then you won't have to raise money for them anymore." Revan went on, putting on a concerned front.
"Well, I suppose." Mr. Koon admitted.
"And if you don't have to raise money for them anymore, then you would be out of a job." Revan said as he opened the door, and the two walked out. "Oh please gentlemen, don't ask me to put you out of a job, not on Christmas Eve."
"Oh, we'd never do that, Mr. Revan." Mr. Koon said.
"Well then," Revan finished, going back to his normal manner at once. "I suggest you give this to the poor and be gone!"
He tossed the wreath Obi-Wan had given him at Kit who caught it reflexively and slammed the door in their faces.
"What's this world coming to, Skywalker?" Revan asked as Luke turned to listen. "You work all your life to get money, and people want you to give it away."
()()()()()
As the day came to its end, Luke used a nearby lamp to keep himself warm, which wasn't too easy. He then glanced over at the clock and smiled when he saw that it was only fifteen seconds until quitting time. Finishing up his last sentence, he closed the book and got ready to head home.
"Two minutes fast." Revan remarked as Luke gulped and was about to get back to work when Revan stopped him. "Eh, never mind those two minutes. You can go now."
"Thank you, sir!" Luke said as he hopped down. "You're so kind-"
"Never mind the mushy stuff!" Revan shouted. "Just go, but be here all the earlier the next afternoon!"
"I will!" Luke said excitedly. "I will sir, and a bah hum- I mean, a merry Christmas to you sir!"
Will then picked up the bag of Revan's shirts and walked off as all Revan said in reply was, "Bah."
()()()()()
At nine at night, Revan closed up the counting house and walked off to his house, which had once belonged to Malak. As Revan unlocked the door, he looked at the knocker just as it turned into Malak's face.
"Revan..." Malak said in an eerie voice.
"Malak?" Picard asked in shock. "No, that can't be!"
Thinking he was just wearied from a good day's work, he touched the knocker's nose, and exclaimed in a way that frightened Revan so badly, he ran into the house. After catching his breath, he put what had happened off as stress with all the fools he had to deal with that day. He then began to walk upstairs when he heard footsteps coming up behind him. He turned, but no one was there. He went on, and again he heard the footsteps. He turned around again, but still no one was there. He looked down from the stairway, but nothing was there either. He walked on when he heard the footsteps for a third time and turned to see a shadow of a tall, bald man with the profile of Malak. Revan shouted in shock and terror and rushed to his living room, bolting the door and hiding in his seat.
"Revan..." Malak's voice called out from the other side of the door.
"GO AWAY!" Revan shouted as a blue-white, transparent version of Malak walked in. Aside from his usually red body suit and blue cape, Malak also wore a long chain with cash boxes and safes attached to it.
"Rev-AHH!" Malak exclaimed as he tripped on a lose rug and ended up landing right next to his chair.
"A bit more hazardous here than I remember." Malak said calmly as he got up and looked at Revan, apparently noticing a look of terror.
"Revan, don't you recognize me?" Malak asked. "In life I was your partner, Alek Malak."
Revan hadn't wanted to believe it, but looking at Malak's face, he was forced to, and that actually helped to calm him down a little.
"Malak, it is you." Revan said as his eyes widened.
"Revan," Malak said as he stood straight up. "Remember when I was alive, I robbed the widows and swindled the poor?"
"Yes, and all on the same day." Revan said with a smile at the memories. "Oh, you had class Malak."
"Yup." Malak said with a smug look before shaking his head. "Wait, no! No! I was wrong, and so as punishment, I'm forced to carry these chains for eternity! ... Maybe even longer. With no hope. I'm doomed! Doomed!"
Malak then turned his face to Revan.
"And the same thing will happen to you, Revan."
"No!" Revan gasped in fear as he recoiled from the chains that were close by his chair. "No it can't! It mustn't! Help me, Malak!"
"Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits." Malak informed Revan. "Listen to them, and do what they say, or your chains will be heavier than mine."
Revan agreed nervously as he turned nervously around.
"Farewell Revan..." Malak called out as he walked back, making sure to be mindful of the rug. "Farewell . . ."
"Malak!" Revan called out as he remembered something about the stairway. "Watch out for that first-"
There were several loud screams and grunts as Malak's ghost fell down the stairs.
"Step." Revan finished before going off to bed.
Spooky, huh?