Bernie was not a brave woman. Sure she'd faced all number of horrors whilst in the army, seen friends die in her arms, run into unstable buildings and situations to save someone, she'd even been blown up, but that was Dr Major Wolfe. Bernie was a coward. She'd run away when reality had hit home with startling clarity as Serena all but professed her love for herself.

Now she was back and she was terrified by how the woman she loved, she could now accept that fact and was proud of it, would react to seeing her sudden return. She wasn't due back for another month but the trauma centre had flourished far quicker than any of them had imagined, the calibre of the staff she was working with second to none. She missed Serena too much, she'd left them to their own devices. She'd arrived late at night, Henrik had informed her, with a rather knowing glint in his eye, that that's when Serena would be working. The time also held the benefit that the chances of her being interrupted on her way to their office were far slimmer.

She walked through the doors to the ward that had become her home with a grin on her face, nothing had changed, the trauma bay was still shining and new, the reception desk was still cluttered to hell, the paint was flaking around the doorways. It still smelt the same too, the unique mix of antiseptic, vomit, urine and Serena's perfume.

She slunk along the halls, back pressed against the wall to avoid detection.

A few feet more and she would lay eyes on the woman she loves for the first time in almost two months. Rearranging the goods in her arms, she surged toward to face the door and felt her heart shatter on the floor.

Serena Campbell was kissing Raf Di Lucca. Passionately.

She spun around, her goodies falling to the floor with a crash that sent her flying out of her stunned reverie. She scribbled a note on the back of the card she'd written in case Serena had shut the door in her face. No longer caring who saw her, Bernie ran out of AAU and down the stairs, not stopping until she was sat in the front seat of her car.

She wouldn't allow herself to cry. She did this. She pushed Serena away so that she could evaluate what she wanted in life and the brunette had evidently done just that. Raf was a truly fantastic man, and if she had to lose the woman she loved to anyone, she was glad it was him. He'd treat Serena far better than Bernie ever had.

Serena and Raf sprang apart at the clatter that sounded right outside the door.

'Thanks, Serena but it just-'

'-it felt weird Raf, it's okay to say it.'

'You love Bernie and I...well there's someone out there.'

'Do you think somebody saw us? Is that what the noise was?'

'Possibly.' Serena shrugged as she opened the door and found a mess outside her office. A mess that was definitely not the result of a shocked porter dropping some equipment out of shock.

A porter would not be holding a bunch of red roses, a poster would not be carrying a stuffed bear holding a balloon saying I'm sorry, a porter would not have a box of Serena's favourite chocolate and a very expensive bottle of wine that had been placed on a trolley. A porter wouldn't have drawn a stick figure with straw coloured hair with a caption bubble reading Forgive Me. A porter would not have dropped a card with Serena's name on it in Bernies distinctive handwriting.

Bernie.

She picked up the card and saw a message scrawled across the back

I hope you and Raf are very happy together. You both deserve someone as amazing as the other. You were never mine, no matter how wild my imagination ran. I was never going to be good enough, I'm broken and a coward. I can't come back now. I can't see you with another partner. I know it's selfish of me. Just please look after the everyone on the ward and the trauma bay.

Bernie x

Shit.

She turned the envelope open and pulled out the sincerest apologies card held within.

Serena,

Beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, funny, grumpy, obstinate, Serena.

If you're reading this card it means that our first reunited meeting didn't go as well as I hope it will. In all honesty I wouldn't blame you for slamming the door in my face and demanding I work somewhere else. I've earned that. I won't leave though, not if I think there's still a chance for us to work.

I so want there to be an us. I know I said I was leaving to give you the time to process what you wanted but that wasn't entirely the truth-you said I terrified the life out of you. You terrify the life out of me too. You're my best friend and I didn't want to risk losing that if we rushed into things.

I was a coward.

If you're reading this then hope isn't all lost. I will fight for you Serena Campbell, so long as you want me to.

Bernie x

Double shit.