TRIGGER WARNINGS: Depression, anxiety, dysphoria, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced self-harm, implied/referenced non-con.THESE WILL CHANGE AS EACH CHAPTER IS WRITTEN AND POSTED!!!BE SAFE!--
Dear Diary,
It's back again.
That crushing feeling you can't make any sense of, weighing down on you, that makes you want to cry, but you can't because you haven't been drinking enough lately.
It makes you hate yourself.
At least, when you feel it. You can't feel much these days, can you? Numbness spreads across your entire being for most of the time you're awake. Sleep doesn't last and it only feels like blinking. Sure, you can distract yourself with some meaningless task, but that feeling always comes back.
Funny things only give you a few seconds of joy and talking to other people only drain you. Even talking to Michael, your favourite person, drains your energy.
What day is it again?
Monday, Wednesday, Friday - it's all the same. Days blending into weeks blending into months blending into years. Nothing changes.
Never mind.
Ignore this.